Typically people talk about how you saved their life or help them through their lowest of lows. Even though you’ve done that for me, I want to show you what you mean to someone who is unable to put it into words: my little sister Rylee.
Rylee is nine, and she’s literally the light of anyone’s world she touches. She’s sassy, funny, beautiful, determined and so so SO strong. She has bilateral close-lipped schizencephaly which causes her to have cerebral palsy. When she was born, the doctors told us she wouldn’t do a thing, that she would just lay there all day. Obviously, she proved them wrong. Her vocabulary is expanding daily (she can finally speak in sentences!!) and even if she can’t walk YET, her physical capabilities are also improving even as i type this.
You first made an impact on Rylee with sparks fly. She was practically born listening to Fearless (because I was convinced I was going to be a superstar just like you when I was little), but she couldn’t truly catch the meaning yet. She would always pitch a total fit in her car seat like she hated her car seat SO much. There was a handful of songs that would put her to sleep and relax her. One of them being Sparks Fly. This was her first concert (Speak Now Tour, Bridgestone Arena, September 16th) and she was so excited UNTIL you opened with Sparks Fly which made her fall asleep so she slept through the whole thing.
Fastforward three years and unfortunately Rylee was spending her days of fall in and out of hospitals. If I’m being honest, we truly weren’t sure if she was going to make it. Rylee wasn’t the always laughing and smiling little kid we knew during this time. In fact she rarely smiled, and when she laughed, it wasn’t the contagious laugh of hers. It was kinda dull. One of the only things I noticed that made her eyes light up was music, specifically yours and one direction. Which of course made sense, your music had always calmed her down and she spent her nights pretending like she was going on dates with every member of one direction.
In two years, you released a song with Zayn which Rylee and I both hardcore fangirled about (I HAD BEEN WANTING THIS COLLAB FOR YEARS!!!) and coincidentally, it was the song that calmed rylee down after her surgery. We traveled down to Texas so we didn’t have our pharmacy down there obviously. Rylee was in her car seat when the pain meds from the hospital wore off, and she was screaming in pain. As I desperately held her trying to reassure her that it would be okay, I got the idea to give her my ipad and let her watch the lyric video for IDWLF (which was the only one release atm), and after one time, she had stopped crying. the next time, she was asleep. (also in case you remember, Zayn quoted a video of a little girl crying to it, it was Rylee because y’all overwhelm her way too much because she loves you both too much so if you want to bring a special guest out on August 10th, PLEASE BRING ZAYN)
This year has brought a lot of firsts: her first wheelchair, her first sentence, her first question, her first time standing against a wall with no one holding her, but also her first seizure. For some reason, I have been the one with her both times. When you watch your little sister go through something like that, it gives you a sense of paranoia, a sense of dread, and for me, a full fledged panic attack. Her second one (her worst) was all of a blur. I ran to get the phone. We dialed 911. I fell to the ground with a panic attack and then I got up and held Rylee the closest I’ve ever held her. That night I couldn’t sleep. Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw her eyes and how dull they had become so quickly. That night I turned on your music, especially Clean, and just laid there. Thank you for reminding me that even if these seizures were going to make things harder, even if we’re kinda terrified to go to your concert because we’re scared of her having a seizure, and even if they’re scary as heck that Rylee is okay. She’s still 100% Rylee, and everything is gonna be alright.
You taught Rylee how to say sorry with the iconic line from LWYMMD, you’ve kept her calm, and helped the both of us through the toughest times. If you would like to make Rylee’s night if you would meet her (20 days before her birthday!!), we’ll be in section 121, row 20, seats 1-5 August 10th in Atlanta. She’s going to be dressed as a snake ;)
P.S.: thank you for helping me through my papaw’s death three years ago, the times when i felt like i had nowhere to turn, and all the times i didn’t know where i belonged <3
@taylorswift @taylornation