In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night

Just a rapscallion on the loose, making trouble all day long. Keying cars, tagging the local burger king, egging sweet old women as they're helped across the street by handicapped boy scouts. Ya know, the you'ge.

[malcolmhammer]

Lets see how much trouble i can get into with a pack of molsons, a toy lightsaber, and the neighborhood kids.

[malcolmhammer]

"Ok, once more.

1. Wallet for which to pay various monies to creepy guys who never smile, shave, or smell of anything but patchouly oil 2. Watch for which to refer and keep us on schedule for all the fun carny shenanigans 3. Breath spray for which to be making fresh lippings on her pretty pretty …lips. 4. Smile for which to melt her heart like a snow cone in dubai.

Check, check, check, and check, alright here we go.”

Nathan knocks 3 times on her front door. He hasn’t knocked four times on anything since david tennant left doctor who. He believes it now to be a bad omen foretelling death at every turn. He decides not to mention anything this crazy this early on. His thoughts drift as he waits.

(I’d make a good companion, or maybe even a doctor, then Gillian could be my sexy companion. Nah that’d never work, a few trips in and she’d catch on to all the nude beaches we’d visit. I’d like to think i’m above that or smart enough to space out those trips but lets face it, it’d be like France all the time. I wonder if… Whoa)

"Whoa."

Gillian stands at the door, he tries to remember to think, how to think, but nothing comes.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Deep down Gillian was actually pretty damn girly, though her love of obscenities probably kept that secret well. She fussed with her hair until she thought her arms would break off from the strain and then it happened…her phone buzzed with a text from Nate - and we’re talking Malcolm-I’m-So-Hot-You-Might-Not-Care-If-The-Alliance-Takes-Over-As-Long-As-You-Can-Run-Away-With-Me-On-Serenity-Reynolds. And dear God, don’t even get Gillian started on Captain Hammer. So, yeah, she turned too quickly to answer her cell phone and the blistering hot roller of her curling iron landed firmly on her delicate neck skin. "Fuck-damn-shit." She screamed loud enough to wake the dead, quickly pulling the hot iron away from her neck, and letting out another shriek as she noticed the large hickey-shaped welt that was forming brightly in that perfumed spot under the ear where she so enjoyed being kissed. "Fucking awesome, dude is gonna think this isn’t the first date I’ve had this week." Gillian muttered to herself, covering the burn with makeup as best she could before the third knock struck the door. "Hey you." She smiled up at him. "Good thing you didn’t knock four times, I might’ve burst into tears."

[malcolmhammer]

Oh god, never. If i even hear someone or something knock four times, i add a fifth and sixth for good measure.

(I wonder if i can win her a stuffed dalek at the fair.)

You, look, … Is wow an acceptable word, I’m not sure it does you justice.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Wow is absolutely acceptable! In fact, it’s the only word that wouldn’t have been a great insult. Except for “yowzah,” that would’a worked too. (I wonder if they have stuffed daleks and if that sexy arm of his can throw?)… So are you a fan of rides? Like can you just pop off of the whirl-a-bout and hit the zipper without getting sick?

[malcolmhammer]

I can honestly i don't know what any of that means, do you need help with your zipper? (No she doesn't you total ass) I haven't been on rides in years...(oh no, what if you get sick? What if you yak In her face?! Well turn left douche.) I'll be fiiiine. I didn't used to get sick, how could that have changed in the last ten years of aging...

[malcolmhammer]

Do you ever miss the homeland?

You mean my home and native land? Why yes, yes i do. Castle in Montreal was fun to shoot though.

[malcolmhammer]

"Ok, once more.

1. Wallet for which to pay various monies to creepy guys who never smile, shave, or smell of anything but patchouly oil 2. Watch for which to refer and keep us on schedule for all the fun carny shenanigans 3. Breath spray for which to be making fresh lippings on her pretty pretty …lips. 4. Smile for which to melt her heart like a snow cone in dubai.

Check, check, check, and check, alright here we go.”

Nathan knocks 3 times on her front door. He hasn’t knocked four times on anything since david tennant left doctor who. He believes it now to be a bad omen foretelling death at every turn. He decides not to mention anything this crazy this early on. His thoughts drift as he waits.

(I’d make a good companion, or maybe even a doctor, then Gillian could be my sexy companion. Nah that’d never work, a few trips in and she’d catch on to all the nude beaches we’d visit. I’d like to think i’m above that or smart enough to space out those trips but lets face it, it’d be like France all the time. I wonder if… Whoa)

"Whoa."

Gillian stands at the door, he tries to remember to think, how to think, but nothing comes.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Deep down Gillian was actually pretty damn girly, though her love of obscenities probably kept that secret well. She fussed with her hair until she thought her arms would break off from the strain and then it happened…her phone buzzed with a text from Nate - and we’re talking Malcolm-I’m-So-Hot-You-Might-Not-Care-If-The-Alliance-Takes-Over-As-Long-As-You-Can-Run-Away-With-Me-On-Serenity-Reynolds. And dear God, don’t even get Gillian started on Captain Hammer. So, yeah, she turned too quickly to answer her cell phone and the blistering hot roller of her curling iron landed firmly on her delicate neck skin. "Fuck-damn-shit." She screamed loud enough to wake the dead, quickly pulling the hot iron away from her neck, and letting out another shriek as she noticed the large hickey-shaped welt that was forming brightly in that perfumed spot under the ear where she so enjoyed being kissed. "Fucking awesome, dude is gonna think this isn’t the first date I’ve had this week." Gillian muttered to herself, covering the burn with makeup as best she could before the third knock struck the door. "Hey you." She smiled up at him. "Good thing you didn’t knock four times, I might’ve burst into tears."

[malcolmhammer]

Oh god, never. If i even hear someone or something knock four times, i add a fifth and sixth for good measure.

(I wonder if i can win her a stuffed dalek at the fair.)

You, look, ... Is wow an acceptable word, I'm not sure it does you justice.

[malcolmhammer]

"Ok, once more. 1. Wallet for which to pay various monies to creepy guys who never smile, shave, or smell of anything but patchouly oil 2. Watch for which to refer and keep us on schedule for all the fun carny shenanigans 3. Breath spray for which to be making fresh lippings on her pretty pretty ...lips. 4. Smile for which to melt her heart like a snow cone in dubai. Check, check, check, and check, alright here we go." Nathan knocks 3 times on her front door. He hasn't knocked four times on anything since david tennant left doctor who. He believes it now to be a bad omen foretelling death at every turn. He decides not to mention anything this crazy this early on. His thoughts drift as he waits. (I'd make a good companion, or maybe even a doctor, then Gillian could be my sexy companion. Nah that'd never work, a few trips in and she'd catch on to all the nude beaches we'd visit. I'd like to think i'm above that or smart enough to space out those trips but lets face it, it'd be like France all the time. I wonder if... Whoa) "Whoa." Gillian stands at the door, he tries to remember to think, how to think, but nothing comes.

[malcolmhammer]

So a little space captain told me you were going to take me out on a date tonight. Is that a thing that's actually happening? If so, I need to put away the day-bourbon and start getting ready.

It is, and prepare to be amazed by the date i planned, in a way that you super lower your expectations because we’re going to a carnival!

[cupcakesandlithium]

Well fuck-a-doodle-doo, I’ll grab my sneakers and a giant bag to haul away all the stuffies you’re gonna win me! Pick me up at 8 then?

[malcolmhammer]

You got it, leave your wallet at home, and bring those gorgeous eyes of yours cuz ima be staring into them all night long.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Wallet tossed away - check Eye batting - check Lips…wait, should I bring those?

[malcolmhammer]

You should but tell them they’re gonna be doing some heavy lifting tonight, they’ll be all kinds of busy.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Great, that’s why I work them out so hard…and I’m a whiz with a bendy straw!

[malcolmhammer]

Ah i bet you were turning boys stomachs into knots long before you were doing it to cherry stems.

[malcolmhammer]

So a little space captain told me you were going to take me out on a date tonight. Is that a thing that's actually happening? If so, I need to put away the day-bourbon and start getting ready.

It is, and prepare to be amazed by the date i planned, in a way that you super lower your expectations because we’re going to a carnival!

[cupcakesandlithium]

Well fuck-a-doodle-doo, I’ll grab my sneakers and a giant bag to haul away all the stuffies you’re gonna win me! Pick me up at 8 then?

[malcolmhammer]

You got it, leave your wallet at home, and bring those gorgeous eyes of yours cuz ima be staring into them all night long.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Wallet tossed away - check Eye batting - check Lips…wait, should I bring those?

[malcolmhammer]

You should but tell them they're gonna be doing some heavy lifting tonight, they'll be all kinds of busy.

[malcolmhammer]

So a little space captain told me you were going to take me out on a date tonight. Is that a thing that's actually happening? If so, I need to put away the day-bourbon and start getting ready.

It is, and prepare to be amazed by the date i planned, in a way that you super lower your expectations because we’re going to a carnival!

[cupcakesandlithium]

Well fuck-a-doodle-doo, I’ll grab my sneakers and a giant bag to haul away all the stuffies you’re gonna win me! Pick me up at 8 then?

[malcolmhammer]

You got it, leave your wallet at home, and bring those gorgeous eyes of yours cuz ima be staring into them all night long.

[malcolmhammer]

So a little space captain told me you were going to take me out on a date tonight. Is that a thing that's actually happening? If so, I need to put away the day-bourbon and start getting ready.

It is, and prepare to be amazed by the date i planned, in a way that you super lower your expectations because we're going to a carnival!

[malcolmhammer]

Share a bed, touch tongues, clean their ears, chew their used gum: Jenna Coleman, Tom Hiddleston, Ed Westwick, Nicola Walker

Not so much into boys. In the “at-all” sense. Also “clean their ears?" Is this some fetish thing i just don’t understand?

[malcolmhammer]

FMK Jenna, Gillian, and Alison.

I'd marry gillian, cuz well having seen her in a bikini, she's a keeper. I'd fuck jenna because who wouldn't want to get down with a companion, and i'd kill ali cuz well, she's scary.

[malcolmhammer]

I have a problem

[cupcakesandlithium]

       Can you give it a try? cupcakesandlithium

       Just you try and stop me, Space-badass-o-my-heart.

Its good to know you’re there to help me with/in a pinch when i need it.

Sure! Well we all know bein’ this hot is a pinchable offence.

[malcolmhammer]

It is and sadly i just never seem to learn my lesson. Just stubborn i suppose.

       You incorrigible scoundrel, you.

Yeah bit i reckin’ thats exactly what you like about me.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Not exactly. The Hammer is your what?

[malcolmhammer]

Well what if i take you out and we find out exactly what it us that we like about each other? *my eyes travel over every inch of you* besides and including the obvious.

[malcolmhammer]

Bulletproof bitch

[malcolmhammer]

I have a problem

       Can you give it a try? cupcakesandlithium

[cupcakesandlithium]

       Just you try and stop me, Space-badass-o-my-heart.

Its good to know you’re there to help me with/in a pinch when i need it.

Sure! Well we all know bein’ this hot is a pinchable offence.

[malcolmhammer]

It is and sadly i just never seem to learn my lesson. Just stubborn i suppose.

[cupcakesandlithium]

       You incorrigible scoundrel, you.

[malcolmhammer]

Yeah bit i reckin' thats exactly what you like about me.

[slcgames]

Yes or No only: Do you want children (or more children)?

[malcolmhammer]

Do i want children for what? To keep or To bring me drinks with umbrellas in them while i lazily sunbathe poolside like a tiny slave army? If you're not going to be specific I can't answer this properly.

[malcolmhammer]

I have a problem

       Can you give it a try? cupcakesandlithium

[cupcakesandlithium]

       Just you try and stop me, Space-badass-o-my-heart.

[malcolmhammer]

Its good to know you’re there to help me with/in a pinch when i need it.

[cupcakesandlithium]

Sure! Well we all know bein’ this hot is a pinchable offence.

[malcolmhammer]

It is and sadly i just never seem to learn my lesson. Just stubborn i suppose.

[malcolmhammer]

Where the hell do i get ten of these?

[silverlakekiwi-deactivated20150]

Hell yes, mate! That’s well badass! We got our mugs on a pinball machine (me weakness) last year and I nearly lost me mind with the joy in it. How the hell did they not get ya to come and...

[malcolmhammer]

As if locks could stop a rider of Rohan.