Charles Leclerc x Male reader
"Is it worth it?"
I'm slowly trying to get back to writing so updates might have like days gap in between or maybe a week, depends on my mood really, but I will try to write as often as I used to. It's just author's block is a bitch.
Prolly gonna be one of those typical angst stories but eh, angst was what I wanted when writing this.
I will be opening my requests for a bit maybe I might get some interesting stuff.
Warning: mentions of sex but no actual sex or maybe a few lines referencing it(?) Idk really
Here I am standing all alone in the pouring rain on the streets of monaco, I country I once was delighted to call home. Walking around aimlessly I can't help but think back to the events that lead to this ending and letting the tears slide down my rosy cheeks. I think back to the times I once was in his arms as how she is now, how he would tell me how much he loved me and hold me tight while cuddling on the couch, slowly falling asleep to a movie we both don't really care about.
We lay on the couch my face buried in his chest, his hand on my waist holding me tight the other playing with my hair.
"Charles, will you ever find someone better than me?"
I ask letting my insecurity take over for a moment.
"Mon cour, tell me, how can I find something better than perfection?" He says with a chuckle while he pull my hair softly so I am now forced to look up at him.
"You're unbelievable." I say while my cheeks turn a shade of pink. "I guess I'm just afraid that you will one day get tired of me, or see someone better than me, I'm just afraid that the last 4 years of my life with would just go down the drain like it meant nothing." I continue now having teary eyes and burying my face back in chest wetting his shirt a bit.
"Don't ever think that, I will never leave you, you have been the best thing to happen to me. I have not woken up a single day for the past 4 years without wondering why you chose me, why you noticed me?" He says now sitting us both up with me on his lap and his hands now I my cheeks wiping the stray tears that are still falling down.
I look at his face, watery eyes meeting mine.
"Don't ever think that you are someone not worth keeping, I love you and I promise to be with you forever."
I sit down on the wet pavement, my tears not stopping yet. Not being able to holdback the sadness, I pat my pockets feeling for my phone and wallet before realizing I left them at his apartment along with the groceries I just bought.
"Charles?" I say loudly, not hearing a reply I try again.
"Charles?" I say a bit louder.
I decide to get comfortable first, hanging my jacket on the coat rack, removing my shoes and putting on my crocs. As walk to our bedroom I hear grunting, I walked slower trying to concentrate on the noise until I heard a feminine voice.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, chaaarles aahh, fuck you're so biiig."
"I know, now just keep quiet so I can hear if he's back yet." I hear charles say breathily with a few grunts in between.
Hearing him grunting in pleasure and the moaning woman broke me, I knew it was only a matter of time. That one day he would find someone better, and I guess today was the day, or atleast the day I found out. With my mind plagued with the thoughts of them together, naked, having sex, I ran out of the apartment trying to be quiet but on my way to the door I bumped into a picture frame hearing the glass shatter. I looked at the frame through blurry eyes, kneeling down to pick it up and looking at what the photo was, it was me and charles standing on a balcony at sunset, his arm wrapped around my waist, my head on his shoulder our backs towards the sun with smiles on our face.
"I think I heard something break outside." I heard charles' voice say still breathing heavily.
I put the now broken picture frame faced down on the coffee table. Running towards the door, I grabbed my jacket from the rack and put it on. I left the apartment having a feeling I forgot something.
"Even after all these years I'm still so gullible, not being able to see through those empty promises and guilty smiles." I chuckled to myself pulling my legs close to my chest and placing my head on my knees.
"I knew it was only a matter of time, I wanted to atleast savour the fleeting moments I had with him, I knew something was up when he started staying out late more often. I should've known, I SHOULD'VE FUCKING KNOWN LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING I DESERVE." I scream the last parts now looking at the sky laughing loudly to myself. As I feel the cold rain pour on my face with my eyes closed I relapse back to a time when I feel down I would always run to him, and he would make my problems go away.
"Mon cour, what's wrong? I'm in the middle of something at the moment." He says through the phone sounding a bit annoyed.
"Ow uhm sorry, I just ah- nevermind, goodluck today." I say, my voice cracking up a bit, hoping he didn't hear it, as I immidiately end the call. But a few seconds later he called me, doubting whether I should answer it or not, until the call went to voicemail. He immidiately called again this time I pick it up.
"Come on, amour, tell me, what's wrong? I always have time for you." He says with concern replacing annoyance.
"It's nothing really, just the anxiety hitting."
"Sorry I can't be there right now, babe, just caught up with work right now. But I'm almost done, so I might be there in say 30 minutes? Then we can cuddle on the bed and put on a movie?"
"O-okay, thanks, I'll be waiting, bye and goodluck." I say now with a smile.
"Okay, ciao amour." He says before hanging up.
True to his word, he arrived 30 minutes later, with my favourite snacks in hand.
"Ciao." He said as he saw me laying on the hotel bed wrapped in a blanket.
"Ciao." I say with a huge smile on my face spotting my favourite snacks.
"Sorry about earlier, bebe, was just busy at the track." He says with a sympathetic smile.
"It's okay, work is more important anyway, but what matters now is that you're here." I say unwrapping the blanket around me and making my way towards him. As I reach him a give him a kiss and reaching for the snackbag.
"I'm just gonna have a quick shower and change then we can start, sound good?" He says smiling widely before booping my nose and making his way towards the shower.
"Yea, sounds good."
As I sob on the sidewalk I hear a voice call my name immidiately knowing who it was.
"Y/n? Y/n! Bebe what's wrong? I heard something break in the living room and saw your phone and wallet on the kitchen counter along with the groceries." He says concerned, but now that I look at him properly, it looked fake, a look that you would give to a person you don't care about.
"Ow it's just nothing, I just needed to clear my mind." I say feigning a smile, luckily he bought it.
"Let's go back, you'll catch a cold." He says with a small laugh as he takes my hand pulling me up and giving me a hug.
'He still smells of sex.' I thought to myself.
"Okay." I say walking with him hand in hand back to our or rather his apartment.
I felt disgusted, did he even notice? Does he even know that I now know? Does he even care? Is he ignoring it hoping it would all blow over? Is it even worth it at this point? Is pretending a game I can play? Is keeping everything in, worth it to keep him? Is he even worth it anymore?
I look at him once more, seeing him still with a smile.
'Am I the reason for that smile or was she?'
Been a while but eh, creative juice not in me rn. Hope you enjoyed? Requests are open for a bit send something you want written or idk, peace ✌️.
