R/Rareinsults Roleplay Starters
Feel free to switch any pronouns or words. M/N means “muse name”
"Hey, you look like the doctor that doesn't recommend toothpaste"
"Close your eyes and imagine yourself being a more likeable person, and then open them and weep"
"You want to meet interesting people who are interested in you? Then make yourself interesting."
"What's it like being in a long distance relationship?"
"Should I look for a boyfriend or a sugar daddy?"
"Your offspring is off-putting"
"I will kick your ass so hard your vertebrae will pop out of your mouth one by one like a PEZ dispenser."
"The most powerful supercomputer can count for 1000 years and still not even begin to comprehend how much I don't fucking care."
"Forgive me, I stole your beard design to use it for a dress."
"You look like the villain from a low-budget Karate Kid knockoff"
"We are like two ships passing in the night, I'm like a sleek racing boat and you're a trash barge."
"You look like an albino rat"
"Dude, do I sound like corpse? What do you think?"
"Are you really gonna plug your show like an ad right in the middle of the vid?"
"You doing ok M/N? I saw it was 42°C"
"Your doggo is small, what does that say about you?"
"You're small, what does that say about your parents?"
"Mate, cancer could be cured tomorrow and your forehead would still be the biggest thing this week."
"Delete this, it's almost midnight. Not the shit I wanna see."
"Have they already raided Area 51?"
"Ah jayysus, me nanny looks better than you and she's in a bleedin' wooden onesie."
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I accidentally disturb a Victorian era vampire?"
"Get back to your tomb you little light allergic shriveled shrimp"
"Why does your mustache look like the mountains preschoolers draw in their drawing class?"
"You're like a plunger, always bringing up old shit."
"If you were the trophy at the end of my race, I would walk backwards."
"Do I need to revive Caesar so you can practice using a fucking knife?"
"Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what Series of Unfortunate Events you been through you ugly fuck?"
"“You were a mistake, your father had a wet dream and yo mama rolled over”
“I’d rather drag my tits across a field a of stinging nettles and sit my bare ass on a pile of hot coals. But thanks.
“The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.”
“I hope you get testicular cancer in the brain, dickhead.”
“You deserve to be sent back to the time of Nero, so you can be dipped in wax and turned into a human candle.”
“You deserve to go skydiving and land balls-first onto the Eiffel Tower”
“You deserve to go to bed but find both sides of your pillow warm”
"Bruh, you look like you killed the eternity of the M&M's family tree and used their skin as a trophy."
"You look like the character in movies who follows the mean girl around."
"I've seen white crayons more useful than you"
"I would take you to the movies, but they don't allow snacks in."
"Is your head just for decoration?"
