Catch You On The Flipside, Homeslice @malevolentsarcasm - Tumblr Blog

So apparently Senators Collins and Murkowski have pissed of the white male members of the GOP to the point where some members have said that they’d challenge them to a duel if they were in South Texas

Anyway so I’m calling Rep. Farenthold later to accept on Sen. Collin’s behalf and I’m choosing Fists. Can take place in Iowa because if two parties agree to mutual combat, under state law it is totally legal here.

systlin

And if he accepts yes I will stream that shit live don’t be silly.

systlin

And after I beat his ass once for Collins, I will duel him again on Murkowski’s behalf.

Square up, bitch.

nyokoko

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GOD CSPAN BOUT TO BE LIT

systlin

Submitted

frenzy5150

systlin

SO I CALLED HIS DC OFFICE AND SAID BASICALLY THE SAME THING I SENT VIA EMAIL.

After about 20 seconds of dead silence, the staffer let out kinda a little laugh and said “Well ma’m, I’ll be happy to pass on your…”

“I’m not joking.”

“Ma’m?”

“You think I’m joking. I am dead serious. You want my address? Or I’ll meet him at the airport. I am absolutely serious about this. Oh, and as the challenged party, I get to pick weapons. I choose fists.”

Another 20 seconds of somehow even deeper silence.

“I…I’ll pass your challenge on to the congressman.”

“No. He issued the challenge. I’m accepting. Unless he’s backing out like the spineless coward he is.”

More silence. “I…I’ll let Congressman Farenthold know, ma’m.”

“You do that.”

ANYWAY SO HOW DID YOU ALL SPEND YOUR LUNCH BREAK TODAY.

themonstermesh-blog

I LOVE THIS DO IT B

dzamie

followup when

systlin

FOLLOW UP; He has proved himself a faithless coward and refused to meet me in honest physical combat, so I cursed him. Specifically, called on his past misdeeds to be visited upon him and justice he’s evaded to find him.

He’s now retiring after his history of sexually assaulting women came to light and will not be seeking re-election anywhere.

badscienceshenanigans-deactivat

reblog to bring truth out of her well to fisticuffs mankind

thankyu

Hearts be like, bump bump bump lol

3828281493392929-deactivated201

cant relate

solardivulger

keanuital

bruhita-deactivated20190224

you wet idiot

bombing

girlfriend: why don’t you take off that battle armor and slip into something a bit more…..comfortable

me: i am most comfortable when i am impervious to most physical forms of attack

shrikesvalley-deactivated202310

hi, welcome to the united fucking states, how may we discriminate you?

bumberhoot

Everyone needs to see this. We can’t just let them discriminate against us, we have rights and we should fight for them. Our government is actively trying to push down minorities and no one is talking about it. This affects me and many of my friends. This could affect you or a friend you have. Even if this doesnt affect you, SPREAD THIS INFORMATION AND BE AN ALLY. We’re not gonna live in a broken country where freedom and equality is preached but only certain groups have those rights to equality and liberty. We shouldn’t have to live in fear of what human right our government is gonna strip away from us next. Please spread this.

a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e

It’s always kind of funny when the Powerpuff Girls, in fanart, are drawn with fingers and noses and toes and stuff and it’s like…they legit don’t have those in canon. It’s not just a style choice, they actually don’t have fingers and noses.

I mean, apparently Buttercup just sticks her hand to things to pick them up (S03E29 Criss Cross Crisis)

And in Oops, I Did it Again (s06E04B) the girls, when made without Chemical X, come out “normal” and do have fingers, feet, noses, and normal faces.

So like…when everyone in the show calls them “bug-eyed freaks,” “pumpkin heads,” etc, they legit mean the girls have big round heads, giant eyeballs, and stump limbs.

I think it’s safe to say that the Powerpuff Girls are objectively horrifying. I want to see fanart of that.

teacupballerina

a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e

SWEET JESUS

iguanamouth

alright i realise im a little late to the party here but going back to how the girls are able to grip things despite not having fingers

at first i thought maybe they could have tiny hooks at the end of the stumps that would snag onto surfaces, similar to cats tongues ( and yeah alright spiderman ) but the issue is that they probably wouldnt be effective for smoother surfaces

they could also have wrinkled pads like geckos feet that could cling to smoother things no problem, but then the problem is maintaining enough suction to actually lift and carry an object

i fear the solution may be something even Worse

thisusedtoberum-deactivated2017

this better not take any more wild turns

spearmint-milkshake

i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.

cocksmasher69

Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male

cheekless0nion

I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth.

celean0

You have got to be kidding me

wreathedinscales

So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”

My dude………..stop

coffeebuddha

my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking

i’m a fucking pastry chef

gotlostintheuniverse

met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too

i have a degree in physics

and am a published coauthor in astrophysics

sxpositive

the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that

she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her

saltiestsoprano

You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.

tayliberalsjwift

Me voting in 2016:

Me voting in 2018:

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

oh my god i'm cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

princess-peridot

How did you know if you dialed the right number

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

teaboot

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

notevensneaky

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

propitlikeithot

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

kineticpenguin

razerathane

I’m not even fucking 30 yet why

catchymemes

luvnaught

this is the only food critic I’ll accept at my restaurant.

flufflyspartan110

@beastlysoul

gallusrostromegalus

Feeding your animals (safe) but new-to-them foods is botha great source of enrichment for the and endless hilarity for you. I reccomend green beans because they’re unwieldly for them to eat so its an involved process.

winelandcounty

hashtagparksandrec

amandaexmachina-deactivated2018

Donna for the new BBC Sherlock.

moonblossom

I would watch the hell out of that. Make it happen please.

isitcoldenoughforpants

Only if Tom is Watson

instant-oatmeal

yes please

scarliestralls

weirdbutinareallycuteway-deacti

thehauntingofjulia

I just looked this up and it turned out it was about a production of “cat on a hot tin roof”, a play which famously features a closeted gay lead character. a member of the audience was catcalling female actresses and shouting homophobic abuse when actor john lacy, who played the character big daddy, paused his performance and called him out. the heckler replied “what are you going to do about it?” to which lacy responded by leaping down into the audience and knocking him to the ground.

hoochie-daddy

Beat his ass big daddy

catsuggest

if anyone need a troustworthy man to sit upon a book then im know somebody you must meet

maximumsunshine

Who cat?

catsuggest

dollymyfolly-deactivated2026032

I’m the type of person who holds on to ticket stubs and photos and presses flowers but never puts them into a scrapbook I just have them scattered everywhere which brilliantly illustrates how I’m a sentimental piece of shit who can’t put their life together

funnystories

funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money

khanos-deactivated20170219

I love robbery and fraud

pupu-platter

relaxed-muscle

i’m getting ready to update my wardrobe! i just need a

jat

jlasses

jloves

and

jarf

scatterdarknessscattersilence

i’m sorry this is a formal occasion you will either need a

jie

or a

jallgown

lesbiansinouterspace-deactivate

@pro-gay

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

time to break out my

juit

danupert

don’t forget you

jankerchief

milkyrum-deactivated20160407

We’re gonna be late hop in the

jar

idreaminpixels

@txepvi @seyrii

seyrii

This is junforgivable

professor-maple-mod

don’t forget your

jurse

or your

jumps.

skr0ala

if you get bored you bring your

jiolin

themonsterwithoutaname

every time this post come back to my dash is more and more horrendous

sledgehammertoe

Let me tell you about

The 1973 Levi’s Gremlin.

Looks like just another AMC Gremlin, yeah? Well, notice the Levi’s logo on the front fender just behind the wheel well, and you know that when you get in this car, you’re in for something very… special.

Your eyes are not deceiving you. The seats and the trunk are upholstered in GENUINE LEVI’S DENIM, complete with bronze stitching. This is not some ironic custom job from recent times, either; this was a real option offered by AMC in 1973.