Alex paced the ground around the truck, arms crossed tightly. He was freezing, but no one else seemed to be cold, so he clenched his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. He was exhausted, but he didnât want to sit down. He was afraid of falling asleep.
Before Michael had come, part of him yearned to not wake up the next day. Now he couldnât risk it. No part of him wanted to drift off and be away from Michael, not for a second. But Michael was busy looking through the map he kept in his truck, searching with Dallas for places that could possibly hold more alien fruit. Any way to get them out.
Donât sit down. Donât fall asleep.
Alex watched him as he thought of his plea to Michael just yesterday.
âDallas could marry us right now. Please, we are running out of time.â
They were stuck there, and Alex didnât have the days he wanted anymore. Making sure Michael wasnât looking over, Alex went to check the infection in the truckâs side mirror. It had spread up his neck and down to his stomach. It was getting harder to breathe by the minute.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to think of every inch of pain in his body. None so more than in his heart at the memory of Michaelâs words.
âIâm getting us out of here,â heâd told him. âAnd you will get a real wedding, Manes, with our friends and family.â
The idea was sweet, but Alex could only be frustrated. Heâd always been a hopeful realist, but a realist, nonetheless. He didnât think he was making it out of here, and he definitely didnât think he was getting a wedding. He wanted to hope for a future with Michael, but Michael was just torturing them both.
âHeâs doing this because he loves you,â Bonnie said gently, coming around the truck with her hands folded behind her back. âIâve never seen anyone love the way he loves you.â
Alex slumped against the truck, hugging his arms tighter. âHe sent you over here to check on me, didnât he?â
âLike I said,â she smiled softly, âhe loves you.â
Alex nodded, rubbing his face. âYeah.â
Alex wasnât good at talking about his feelings to other people. He wasnât good at talking about his feelings at all. Michael was always his exception, the only person he ever wanted to share anything with. As nice as Bonnie seemed, as kind and understanding as Dallas was, Alex just wasnât like Michael. He couldnât let anyone else in, not even Kyle or Gregory. It was always his cowboy or no one.
And it would have to be his cowboy now. He excused himself from Bonnie, and went over to where Michael was still pouring over the map with intense focus. Alex took his elbow, halting his discussion with Dallas, and pulled him aside.
âWe need to talk,â Alex said.
Michael took his face in his hands briefly. âWe can talk when we get home.â
âNo,â he said, âweâre going to talk now. Guerin, please, enough of this already, I canât take it anymore.â
âWe are going to get out of here,â Michael insisted.
âYou will,â Alex agreed. âI wonât.â
Michael looked like Alex had shot him. It was a cruel thing to say, but it was the truth. He opened and closed his mouth, and Alex knew that was the beginning of him about to cry. Alex felt his own eyes burn.
âThe longer I stay here, the less time I have,â Alex said quietly. âEven if I did make it out with you, fresh air doesnât heal radiation poisoning, Michael. I am dyingâI know you donât want to hear it, but itâs reality. And I donât want to spend my last few days watching you obsess over some doorway that wonât save me anyway.â He took Michaelâs left hand in both of his, holding it to his chest. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. His eyes filled with tears.
âIâm begging you,â he whispered. âPlease marry me.â
Michael stared at him, then cupped his neck. Alex covered his hands with his own. âI will,â he said, âas soon as we get back and youâre healed.â
Alexâs shoulders fell, a tear rolled down his cheek. âGuerinââ
âI just got you back,â Michael said, wiping the tear away with his thumb. âIâm not giving you up, Private. Ever again.â
And he went back to his map and an apologetic Dallas and Bonnie, pouring over his map. Alex could do nothing else in that moment but cross his arms yet again, and resume his pacing, ignoring the blinding pain in his leg.
Donât sit down, he thought, looking over to Michael and taking in every inch of him. While he still could. Donât fall asleep.
Iâm really proud of this one to be honest.
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