Anamnesis.

Malik Irtiza Kashmiri.

[malikirtiza]

[malikirtiza]

Etched

[malikirtiza]

etching into memory

[itscolossal]

Insects Sculpted Out of Repurposed Automotive Parts by Edouard Martinet

[malikirtiza]

What is it? What is it that keeps you up all night? It’s understandable if its hunger. If not, then what is it? It’s a long way until you acknowledge it. I said acknowledge, because you knew it then. You always know! You were just too busy running away from it. Is it feeling lonely? You have had that feeling for too long to let loneliness disrupt your functioning. It’s skin. You are hungry and you want skin. You don’t need it, but you want it which is harder to control. Desires are harder to control. Because insufficient need is a deficiency,while un achieved desires burn you. They don’t turn you into ash, they keep burning ! Needs are easily quenched while desires, they want the exact amount of your soul and even more before it lends you any relief, which is momentary. It’s what you are loosing your bloody brains over, that moment of relief. Malik irtiza.

[malikirtiza]

دیوانی صحح اُنکا تماشا تو نہیں ہوں!

[malikirtiza]

I swear on all that is dear to me on this earth,nothing is more dearer than You.

[malikirtiza]

I am tired of putting on shrouds of your definition of a woman. All that I must do to look ethereal. i think your definitions need to be buried,they have been rotting and stinking for a millennium.

[islamicthinking]

For the sins we’ve committed in ignorance, the ones we did knowingly, we beg You to forgive us. Without Your Forgiveness, we can’t carry on.

— ﷽ (@IslamicThinking) August 1, 2017

[malikirtiza]

If you misinterpreted my lowered gaze for weakness or my head-cover for oppression.Wait for me to look so straight into your eyes that your eyeballs will burn.

[malikirtiza]

Effort.

I am just trying to fit in the shredded skins of those who claimed to have loved me. Nobody made such claims,so I am just a skeleton.

[malikirtiza]

What does it feel like?

Explain it?Okay listen carefully. It like the narrow prelude between my heart and lungs has given birth to a  tiny sliver.It extends from my lungs right up to limits of my heart. Every time I heave,this sliver pierces new holes. Next always deeper than the former.So when I say I bleed every time I breathe,don’t mock me.

[malikirtiza]

I don’t know,its maybe that my body knows what it is mourning for and my mind doesn't. It just refuses to move.

[malikirtiza]

All we shared was an umbilical cord and it failed to transfer the lessons of love.

[malikirtiza]

No,I am not afraid to let you touch  my bruises, Its just that I am not done letting them bleed yet. They are mourning,let them. They do it better than me.

[malikirtiza]

You can.

It’s time my dear, you can weep. Flood this silence and burn all those ashes. smudge this surface with your blood, let its warmth light up your face. You can do it,today you can. Waiting by the door,wind has bought you images, essence of your beloved, presence of their love. You make haste to capture them, and smile at the holes failure bore. today you can. Paint pictures,bodies and stars. Fill their absence with scrapes of the love, love their hearts wore as skins, wore it only for you. It’s time my dear, let it lose, let them go, let yourself live. You can live by the memory, memory it all you have. be grateful for this curse,today you can. It’s time my dear, you can scream. reclaim your heart and your body, demand all that you want. drown in your skin today,submerge in this colour. You can handle fire,today you can.

[malikirtiza]

Would you say it isn’t real because I haven’t been there, done that. I told you I felt it,I read the words that ripped me into millions pieces but stitched it back so that I could go on.I listened to words of someones’ broken heart and felt it ache inside.I read about a girl struggle to survive and I, I heaved a bit badly today.I saw a boy trying hard to untangle his most messed parts and I,I quivered. I have read it,felt that. Its no different.