orville redenbachers evil twin

he/him | VtM st and enthusiast | ask me about that's not red paint PLEASEEE

[malkfagian]

L

WWWWELCOME EVERYONE TO THE SHITTY SIDE BLOG OF THE CENTURY!! main is @ex-coelis (likes and follows come from there) for normal fandom stuff but I wanted a place to dump all of my vtm posting into one place for archival reasons! I'm a soon to be new storyteller who always appreciates storytelling tips so send em my way :)

my tags!!

#incessant ticking - general

#gang don't look - game spoilers for my players

#red paint - my game and its world

#cast of clowns - my ocs (character specific tags to come)

#dabble in drabbles - writing

#take this - ref

#another day another drop - rp

#chatting :) - reblogvos with friends!

#whump collection - what, you don't have one?

#rb - misc rb

#cast intros - more info about all of the guys that are most important to me. Intros that have been completed are:

Orville

general vtm warnings apply to this blog, I'll tag the nastier stuff!!

[infestedapple]

it’s so hard being a literal angel and the worst person to ever exist simultaneously

[gumy-shark]

they need to bring back patronage but for posting. if you’re good enough at blogging some rich person should pay for all of your living expenses so you can focus on your art

[schrodingers-corpse]

Bitches really been alive for two centuries and hasn't read homestuck lmao

@malkfagian get ur shit together ❤️❤️

[malkfagian]

what the FUCK is a homestuck. what words are you saying

[hal8999]

roxy flavors

[schrodingers-corpse]

Me in the 00s

[malkfagian]

who the fuck is Roxy

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Girl it's crayzeee!! Cuz look at ts🕳️🕳️

[schrodingers-corpse]

Is it that bad 😔😔

[malkfagian]

nonono it's great it's just!!! surprising is all!! uh. quick question? are you like a god now is that what that was for or.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Lolol it's actually SO funny you asked!!!!❤️

I don't fucking know

[malkfagian]

oh my god Oh! mhm! MMM!!! mm okay!!! that's great!! really happy for you!! living the dream!! Maybe! you should! see a doctor or a tremere equivalant? cause that's! wowsers! never heard of that before!

[schrodingers-corpse]

Uh huh, so they can steal my cool awesome magic? Nice try buddy❤️ also my mom said it looked fine sooooo

[malkfagian]

Okay haha!! But only if your mommy says so!!! Wouldn't wanna make her mad!

(this dumb fucking kid. I'm going to scream)

[schrodingers-corpse]

43.452087,-80.492230

[malkfagian]

OKAY!! WHAT GODDAMN EVER.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Girl it's crayzeee!! Cuz look at ts🕳️🕳️

[schrodingers-corpse]

Is it that bad 😔😔

[malkfagian]

nonono it's great it's just!!! surprising is all!! uh. quick question? are you like a god now is that what that was for or.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Lolol it's actually SO funny you asked!!!!❤️

I don't fucking know

[malkfagian]

oh my god Oh! mhm! MMM!!! mm okay!!! that's great!! really happy for you!! living the dream!! Maybe! you should! see a doctor or a tremere equivalant? cause that's! wowsers! never heard of that before!

[schrodingers-corpse]

Uh huh, so they can steal my cool awesome magic? Nice try buddy❤️ also my mom said it looked fine sooooo

[malkfagian]

Okay haha!! But only if your mommy says so!!! Wouldn't wanna make her mad!

(this dumb fucking kid. I'm going to scream)

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Girl it's crayzeee!! Cuz look at ts🕳️🕳️

[schrodingers-corpse]

Is it that bad 😔😔

[malkfagian]

nonono it's great it's just!!! surprising is all!! uh. quick question? are you like a god now is that what that was for or.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Lolol it's actually SO funny you asked!!!!❤️

I don't fucking know

[malkfagian]

oh my god Oh! mhm! MMM!!! mm okay!!! that's great!! really happy for you!! living the dream!! Maybe! you should! see a doctor or a tremere equivalant? cause that's! wowsers! never heard of that before!

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Girl it's crayzeee!! Cuz look at ts🕳️🕳️

[schrodingers-corpse]

Is it that bad 😔😔

[malkfagian]

nonono it's great it's just!!! surprising is all!! uh. quick question? are you like a god now is that what that was for or.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Girl it's crayzeee!! Cuz look at ts🕳️🕳️

[malkfagian]

DEAR HEAVENS. WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[schrodingers-corpse]

You know it✨✨ All that and minimal injury too! Didn't even cost an arm and a leg lol. Just an eye

[malkfagian]

you lost an eye???? goddamn!!!! can I see. is it hollow now or just black????

[schrodingers-corpse]

Guess who just got back from my own personal Odyssey!!! It's me!!!! Lol jealous tremeres wish they had my awesome magic abyss visions!!!!!✨✨

[malkfagian]

Oh. my god. don't tell me you actually did it??????????????? you made it to the?????

[malkfagian]

It's on days like this I miss france :(

[malkfagian]

missing France again badly.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Why

[malkfagian]

their booze is harder than the shit here. how do you people fucking cope

[schrodingers-corpse]

Badly. Evidently. Don't you smoke also? Pick a vice fr

[malkfagian]

shut the fuck up. do you wanna drink together. I know a place with the good shit. nicely aged, good imports. I'll show you

[schrodingers-corpse]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible. But why would I ever want to drink with you.

[malkfagian]

why not. don't you want to be happy. you're miserable. you need a drink. 17 year old looking ass been alive for 80. get your ass to a bar with me

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's more than Eighty. And you're one to talk about looking miserable. Do they have vermouth

[malkfagian]

you bet your dog they do. I'll pick you up

[schrodingers-corpse]

You have a car??

[malkfagian]

if I wanted to I could drive a go train into your shop windows. multiple times. also it's technically not mine but I borrow it

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sounds greaaaat.

[malkfagian]

are you not pleased yet miss MacLeod

[schrodingers-corpse]

Not the biggest fan of getting into a random car driven by the guy that spies on me. Crazy I know

[malkfagian]

pftttttt everyone spies on you! it's vampire culture don't you know! and, what do you not trust me? we've talked like twice that's practically a friendship right

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's honestly distressing that I can't tell if you're joking or not. And I don't think anyone could ever trust you. Except for that one down bad guy.

[malkfagian]

I think you're smart enough to know the answer to that question are you not. did these 60 years not treat you well? life's hell, darling, you know that

[schrodingers-corpse]

I would not still be in this shitty town if they treated me any better. Darling.

[malkfagian]

if I knew you any less I'd say that you like to be beaten around for fun. but still, I really don't know what you think you'll find here. Why do you stay to be messed around with? Seems... masochistic.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Stones in glass houses is crazy. How's the sheriff treating you?

[malkfagian]

never been better. at least I have a real job to do, what do you have? that freak boyfriend who treats you like shit?

[schrodingers-corpse]

That what?? Actually. You're just fucking with me.

[malkfagian]

no the guy youre living with. Is he... Not?

[schrodingers-corpse]

Greyson?????? I'd kill myself. I'd actually rather you specifically eat me alive

[malkfagian]

yeesh. tough breakup then? I remember seeing him at an event once. didn't realize he was that kind of guy. I almost feel bad

[schrodingers-corpse]

What fucking event??? All he does is run around in the woods and piss me off. We were never dating also.

[malkfagian]

noted. does he not... tell you what he gets up to? Seems, irresponsible.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Most of the time I'd rather not know. I keep him out of enough shit by letting him sleep in my fucking house

[malkfagian]

What do the kids say? 😬?

[schrodingers-corpse]

The kid doesn't say shit since he got banned from school. Thanks. For that.

[malkfagian]

tell your kid to stop being a fucking vigilante and get his decayed nose out of the region's business. if anyone cared enough he would be killed tomorrow and hung up outside your house for what he's fucking done

[schrodingers-corpse]

DAMN okay fuck what the hell happened???

[malkfagian]

that's really what gets you? Christ. why don't you sit him down like a child and find out yourself. hes been flaunting it around enough that I'm sure he'd be proud enough to tell you. fucking brat.

[schrodingers-corpse]

No. He knows he fucked up and he also knows I'll beat his ass if I find out. Speaking of which I might have to take a rain check on the vermouth

[malkfagian]

next week? :)

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sure. Let me know before you show up. Or not. It doesn't really matter

[malkfagian]

you'll hear from me. smack him hard for me, tell him to keep his ass in check

[malkfagian]

It's on days like this I miss france :(

[malkfagian]

missing France again badly.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Why

[malkfagian]

their booze is harder than the shit here. how do you people fucking cope

[schrodingers-corpse]

Badly. Evidently. Don't you smoke also? Pick a vice fr

[malkfagian]

shut the fuck up. do you wanna drink together. I know a place with the good shit. nicely aged, good imports. I'll show you

[schrodingers-corpse]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible. But why would I ever want to drink with you.

[malkfagian]

why not. don't you want to be happy. you're miserable. you need a drink. 17 year old looking ass been alive for 80. get your ass to a bar with me

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's more than Eighty. And you're one to talk about looking miserable. Do they have vermouth

[malkfagian]

you bet your dog they do. I'll pick you up

[schrodingers-corpse]

You have a car??

[malkfagian]

if I wanted to I could drive a go train into your shop windows. multiple times. also it's technically not mine but I borrow it

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sounds greaaaat.

[malkfagian]

are you not pleased yet miss MacLeod

[schrodingers-corpse]

Not the biggest fan of getting into a random car driven by the guy that spies on me. Crazy I know

[malkfagian]

pftttttt everyone spies on you! it's vampire culture don't you know! and, what do you not trust me? we've talked like twice that's practically a friendship right

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's honestly distressing that I can't tell if you're joking or not. And I don't think anyone could ever trust you. Except for that one down bad guy.

[malkfagian]

I think you're smart enough to know the answer to that question are you not. did these 60 years not treat you well? life's hell, darling, you know that

[schrodingers-corpse]

I would not still be in this shitty town if they treated me any better. Darling.

[malkfagian]

if I knew you any less I'd say that you like to be beaten around for fun. but still, I really don't know what you think you'll find here. Why do you stay to be messed around with? Seems... masochistic.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Stones in glass houses is crazy. How's the sheriff treating you?

[malkfagian]

never been better. at least I have a real job to do, what do you have? that freak boyfriend who treats you like shit?

[schrodingers-corpse]

That what?? Actually. You're just fucking with me.

[malkfagian]

no the guy youre living with. Is he... Not?

[schrodingers-corpse]

Greyson?????? I'd kill myself. I'd actually rather you specifically eat me alive

[malkfagian]

yeesh. tough breakup then? I remember seeing him at an event once. didn't realize he was that kind of guy. I almost feel bad

[schrodingers-corpse]

What fucking event??? All he does is run around in the woods and piss me off. We were never dating also.

[malkfagian]

noted. does he not... tell you what he gets up to? Seems, irresponsible.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Most of the time I'd rather not know. I keep him out of enough shit by letting him sleep in my fucking house

[malkfagian]

What do the kids say? 😬?

[schrodingers-corpse]

The kid doesn't say shit since he got banned from school. Thanks. For that.

[malkfagian]

tell your kid to stop being a fucking vigilante and get his decayed nose out of the region's business. if anyone cared enough he would be killed tomorrow and hung up outside your house for what he's fucking done

[schrodingers-corpse]

DAMN okay fuck what the hell happened???

[malkfagian]

that's really what gets you? Christ. why don't you sit him down like a child and find out yourself. hes been flaunting it around enough that I'm sure he'd be proud enough to tell you. fucking brat.

[schrodingers-corpse]

No. He knows he fucked up and he also knows I'll beat his ass if I find out. Speaking of which I might have to take a rain check on the vermouth

[malkfagian]

next week? :)

[malkfagian]

It's on days like this I miss france :(

[malkfagian]

missing France again badly.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Why

[malkfagian]

their booze is harder than the shit here. how do you people fucking cope

[schrodingers-corpse]

Badly. Evidently. Don't you smoke also? Pick a vice fr

[malkfagian]

shut the fuck up. do you wanna drink together. I know a place with the good shit. nicely aged, good imports. I'll show you

[schrodingers-corpse]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible. But why would I ever want to drink with you.

[malkfagian]

why not. don't you want to be happy. you're miserable. you need a drink. 17 year old looking ass been alive for 80. get your ass to a bar with me

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's more than Eighty. And you're one to talk about looking miserable. Do they have vermouth

[malkfagian]

you bet your dog they do. I'll pick you up

[schrodingers-corpse]

You have a car??

[malkfagian]

if I wanted to I could drive a go train into your shop windows. multiple times. also it's technically not mine but I borrow it

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sounds greaaaat.

[malkfagian]

are you not pleased yet miss MacLeod

[schrodingers-corpse]

Not the biggest fan of getting into a random car driven by the guy that spies on me. Crazy I know

[malkfagian]

pftttttt everyone spies on you! it's vampire culture don't you know! and, what do you not trust me? we've talked like twice that's practically a friendship right

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's honestly distressing that I can't tell if you're joking or not. And I don't think anyone could ever trust you. Except for that one down bad guy.

[malkfagian]

I think you're smart enough to know the answer to that question are you not. did these 60 years not treat you well? life's hell, darling, you know that

[schrodingers-corpse]

I would not still be in this shitty town if they treated me any better. Darling.

[malkfagian]

if I knew you any less I'd say that you like to be beaten around for fun. but still, I really don't know what you think you'll find here. Why do you stay to be messed around with? Seems... masochistic.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Stones in glass houses is crazy. How's the sheriff treating you?

[malkfagian]

never been better. at least I have a real job to do, what do you have? that freak boyfriend who treats you like shit?

[schrodingers-corpse]

That what?? Actually. You're just fucking with me.

[malkfagian]

no the guy youre living with. Is he... Not?

[schrodingers-corpse]

Greyson?????? I'd kill myself. I'd actually rather you specifically eat me alive

[malkfagian]

yeesh. tough breakup then? I remember seeing him at an event once. didn't realize he was that kind of guy. I almost feel bad

[schrodingers-corpse]

What fucking event??? All he does is run around in the woods and piss me off. We were never dating also.

[malkfagian]

noted. does he not... tell you what he gets up to? Seems, irresponsible.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Most of the time I'd rather not know. I keep him out of enough shit by letting him sleep in my fucking house

[malkfagian]

What do the kids say? 😬?

[schrodingers-corpse]

The kid doesn't say shit since he got banned from school. Thanks. For that.

[malkfagian]

tell your kid to stop being a fucking vigilante and get his decayed nose out of the region's business. if anyone cared enough he would be killed tomorrow and hung up outside your house for what he's fucking done

[schrodingers-corpse]

DAMN okay fuck what the hell happened???

[malkfagian]

that's really what gets you? Christ. why don't you sit him down like a child and find out yourself. hes been flaunting it around enough that I'm sure he'd be proud enough to tell you. fucking brat.

[malkfagian]

It's on days like this I miss france :(

[malkfagian]

missing France again badly.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Why

[malkfagian]

their booze is harder than the shit here. how do you people fucking cope

[schrodingers-corpse]

Badly. Evidently. Don't you smoke also? Pick a vice fr

[malkfagian]

shut the fuck up. do you wanna drink together. I know a place with the good shit. nicely aged, good imports. I'll show you

[schrodingers-corpse]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible. But why would I ever want to drink with you.

[malkfagian]

why not. don't you want to be happy. you're miserable. you need a drink. 17 year old looking ass been alive for 80. get your ass to a bar with me

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's more than Eighty. And you're one to talk about looking miserable. Do they have vermouth

[malkfagian]

you bet your dog they do. I'll pick you up

[schrodingers-corpse]

You have a car??

[malkfagian]

if I wanted to I could drive a go train into your shop windows. multiple times. also it's technically not mine but I borrow it

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sounds greaaaat.

[malkfagian]

are you not pleased yet miss MacLeod

[schrodingers-corpse]

Not the biggest fan of getting into a random car driven by the guy that spies on me. Crazy I know

[malkfagian]

pftttttt everyone spies on you! it's vampire culture don't you know! and, what do you not trust me? we've talked like twice that's practically a friendship right

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's honestly distressing that I can't tell if you're joking or not. And I don't think anyone could ever trust you. Except for that one down bad guy.

[malkfagian]

I think you're smart enough to know the answer to that question are you not. did these 60 years not treat you well? life's hell, darling, you know that

[schrodingers-corpse]

I would not still be in this shitty town if they treated me any better. Darling.

[malkfagian]

if I knew you any less I'd say that you like to be beaten around for fun. but still, I really don't know what you think you'll find here. Why do you stay to be messed around with? Seems... masochistic.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Stones in glass houses is crazy. How's the sheriff treating you?

[malkfagian]

never been better. at least I have a real job to do, what do you have? that freak boyfriend who treats you like shit?

[schrodingers-corpse]

That what?? Actually. You're just fucking with me.

[malkfagian]

no the guy youre living with. Is he... Not?

[schrodingers-corpse]

Greyson?????? I'd kill myself. I'd actually rather you specifically eat me alive

[malkfagian]

yeesh. tough breakup then? I remember seeing him at an event once. didn't realize he was that kind of guy. I almost feel bad

[schrodingers-corpse]

What fucking event??? All he does is run around in the woods and piss me off. We were never dating also.

[malkfagian]

noted. does he not... tell you what he gets up to? Seems, irresponsible.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Most of the time I'd rather not know. I keep him out of enough shit by letting him sleep in my fucking house

[malkfagian]

What do the kids say? 😬?

[schrodingers-corpse]

The kid doesn't say shit since he got banned from school. Thanks. For that.

[malkfagian]

tell your kid to stop being a fucking vigilante and get his decayed nose out of the region's business. if anyone cared enough he would be killed tomorrow and hung up outside your house for what he's fucking done

[malkfagian]

It's on days like this I miss france :(

[malkfagian]

missing France again badly.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Why

[malkfagian]

their booze is harder than the shit here. how do you people fucking cope

[schrodingers-corpse]

Badly. Evidently. Don't you smoke also? Pick a vice fr

[malkfagian]

shut the fuck up. do you wanna drink together. I know a place with the good shit. nicely aged, good imports. I'll show you

[schrodingers-corpse]

I mean this is the most neutral way possible. But why would I ever want to drink with you.

[malkfagian]

why not. don't you want to be happy. you're miserable. you need a drink. 17 year old looking ass been alive for 80. get your ass to a bar with me

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's more than Eighty. And you're one to talk about looking miserable. Do they have vermouth

[malkfagian]

you bet your dog they do. I'll pick you up

[schrodingers-corpse]

You have a car??

[malkfagian]

if I wanted to I could drive a go train into your shop windows. multiple times. also it's technically not mine but I borrow it

[schrodingers-corpse]

Sounds greaaaat.

[malkfagian]

are you not pleased yet miss MacLeod

[schrodingers-corpse]

Not the biggest fan of getting into a random car driven by the guy that spies on me. Crazy I know

[malkfagian]

pftttttt everyone spies on you! it's vampire culture don't you know! and, what do you not trust me? we've talked like twice that's practically a friendship right

[schrodingers-corpse]

It's honestly distressing that I can't tell if you're joking or not. And I don't think anyone could ever trust you. Except for that one down bad guy.

[malkfagian]

I think you're smart enough to know the answer to that question are you not. did these 60 years not treat you well? life's hell, darling, you know that

[schrodingers-corpse]

I would not still be in this shitty town if they treated me any better. Darling.

[malkfagian]

if I knew you any less I'd say that you like to be beaten around for fun. but still, I really don't know what you think you'll find here. Why do you stay to be messed around with? Seems... masochistic.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Stones in glass houses is crazy. How's the sheriff treating you?

[malkfagian]

never been better. at least I have a real job to do, what do you have? that freak boyfriend who treats you like shit?

[schrodingers-corpse]

That what?? Actually. You're just fucking with me.

[malkfagian]

no the guy youre living with. Is he... Not?

[schrodingers-corpse]

Greyson?????? I'd kill myself. I'd actually rather you specifically eat me alive

[malkfagian]

yeesh. tough breakup then? I remember seeing him at an event once. didn't realize he was that kind of guy. I almost feel bad

[schrodingers-corpse]

What fucking event??? All he does is run around in the woods and piss me off. We were never dating also.

[malkfagian]

noted. does he not... tell you what he gets up to? Seems, irresponsible.

[schrodingers-corpse]

Most of the time I'd rather not know. I keep him out of enough shit by letting him sleep in my fucking house

[malkfagian]

What do the kids say? 😬?