˗ˏˋ home grown !

[manebloom]

manebloom . an independent , highly selective OC . this blog will be 18+ & mutuals only . fluctuating activity , icons & formatted text ahead . sung by creecher { 36 , she/her , est. }

( a study in individuality . healing one's inner child . following one's passions . kindness , in the face of adversity , && atypica l beauty . )

[blogroll]: @crvptd // @tendercoded // @lncanting // @funiculiholiday // @lnsomnis

[links]: carrd // playlist // pinterest board // promo

more links under cut .

i got tired so these are coming soon. :')

[girlfailgacha]

collect them all ! !

[girlfailgacha]

collect them all ! !

[manebloom]

Should I post the new blog promo now? I kind of wanna post the new blog promo now.

[manebloom]

Finally starting to feel a little normal, again. I'm gonna give it a few more days before I start coming back in earnest, though. There's stuff I have to restore and things I have to do, anyway.

[polaroidxcamera]

🫂 Tired, nervous lion lady would like a hug from Penny, if she's accepting them.

"You're so pretty and fluffy!"

@manebloom

[manebloom]

I'm going to be taking another break from being on here. I'm not sure for how long. I'm hoping I'll feel better in a week, maybe two, but I'm not putting an eta on it.

If we've talked before and you want my discord, DM me here.

[emptyzone]

@manebloom asked:

🔗 Dani and Jae fusion. The Ultimate Girlfail.

fusion shmusion

'not the zelda gamer triforce shir--' yes the

[manebloom]

i COULD have her get upset about people making fursonas / the "furry" fandom in general but i honestly think it's cuter and sillier that she's like "oh man. would you show me? have you drawn them?"

[manebloom]

Feeling like I'm finally starting to break out of the worst part of this slog, so I'll probably spend today trying to get some stuff done on the new blog. I'm really looking forward to it. I think you guys will enjoy what I've got cookin'.

[tetramulti]

He... uh, didn't get a word of that. Sorry, Capella. He's just a normal guy, he can't understand poke-speak.

"...Mime Jr., could you-?"

The small psychic-type understands the assignment, nodding down at their customer.

'Coming right up, miss!'

The Mime Jr. hops around the counter, grabbing a carton of milk and the strawberry syrup. She pours them both into a mixer, shaking both all around with all the gusto she's sees James do it (can you see him crying in pride?) even giving a little twirl.

She pours it into a highball glass, adding a few chopped strawberries, whipped cream and- oh. Of course, a silly straw. It's also red, for the sake of color coordination.

'Here you are! Please, enjoy!'

[manebloom]

oh , her eyes practically sparkled at such a pretty concoction ! it was almost too nice to drink . almost . catch capella taking a tiny sip and chirping with glee .

ohmygosh , this is SO good ! i've been wandering around for a while , so like . this is JUST what i needed .

oh . right . you're supposed to give money to people who give you things at places like this . she fishes dandelion's wallet out of the backpack , sifts through the few bills in there and -- honey that is a twenty . as she slides it across the counter , on tiptoes in her seat , she glimpses james . and then mime jr. again . seeing pokemon with their trainers and companions ..

by the way , are there any good places around here for video games , or records , or raw fish ?

[lultimagoccia]

" but ... "

words stuck in his throat. in his brain. a deep sense of wrong welled up from the pit of his stomach. in the strangest sense, this moment of immense and disabling sickness felt like clarity attempting to break through the walls which had enclosed him for days. weeks. months ... ?

a fist balled and he struck at one of those wretched, pastel walls. in spite of his strength, it didn't even make a dent. he couldn't break out. he needed her to help

to save

to

...

" ... ughhh, " zano scrubbed his face with a hand, tugging his mask off. it was all sweaty and gross, why the hell had he left it on for so long. " ... okay. y - yeah, food's good. a shower ... "

he swallowed down, that overwhelming feeling settling a little as he started back towards his dressing room. dani always knew what to say. how to make it all feel less terrible. he was really glad she called. he'd missed her.

these really sounded like things he should be saying out loud.

" ... baby? "

but not even the spire was responsible for how bad zano was at being sincere.

" ... c'n you just. chill with me a bit? i know it ain't much, like this. but i just like knowin' you're here. "

[manebloom]

even if he didn't say everything that was on his mind , he was certainly getting better at just .. asking for what he needed . from her , at least . fragile , gentle things that she never wanted to take for granted . she wished she had the courage to ask anyone when she needed support .

❛ i do miss seeing you . but , m'glad we still get to talk . i like knowing you're here , too .. ❜

maybe that was enough , for right now . the smallest line , but one that she could hold onto . a raft in a dark sea . she couldn't say that he'd always been that , but she was glad that he was , now . she couldn't imagine life without him . he never made her feel silly for feeling that way .

❛ d'you want me to sing somethin' for you ? ❜

[lemonloaves]

taking a nap on top of a big man could fix me

[manebloom]

I miss RPing. I miss talking with friends and getting excited about things. I hate constantly feeling like I have to sit in my loneliness because I feel like I'm just annoying people when I message them. I'm SORRY I keep making these fucking bummer posts. I'm trying to work on the multi when I do have the energy to. I'm just. Really struggling, lately. Trying to hold onto creating things because it's like the one thing that makes me happy.

[manebloom]

❛ and so i just sit in my room , after hours , with the moon , and think of who knows my name ..

would you cry if i died -- would you remember my face ? ❜

[manebloom]

Let me preface this by saying that if anyone's been interacting with me and I've been weird, I am genuinely sorry.

Back in 2011-2012, I was at the lowest point of my life. I was isolated, terrified to go outside. I cried every day, and when I wasn't crying I was probably sleeping. The friend group that I had online was dispersing, they talked to me less and less and I was. Very very close to Not Existing Myself.

Last night I realized that I'm in a very similar headspace, right now. Which is exceptionally terrifying. The work I've done on myself softens the edges, but I'm still extremely tender. I feel like I'm just bothering people when I talk to them, so I don't reach out at all. I'm very isolated, spending most of my days in one room. I have no RL friends that I can go and hang out with. Little grievances utterly destroy my energy.

I am genuinely not sure where to go from here. I'm hoping that this ends, soon, but I don't know how to keep myself afloat, in the meantime. My activity on here has dropped significantly, between trying to use what little spurts of energy I have to work on a multimuse and just because I feel like when I am here, I'm just dragging people down with my shit.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm never looking for sympathy. I just don't know where else to put all of this. I'm so tired. I feel so alone. I just want this to end.

[manebloom]

❛ not actually having any coffee in the fucking house might just be what has me showing up on the evening news . ❜