Actually I WILL talk about why I think EliTommyKate works as a ship while KateEli fundamentally does not and believe it or not— I know this is shocking coming from me —it actually has nothing to do w how much I like Tommy. Well like my enjoyment of the ship does but that’s not my point here
The reason Kate and Eli do not work together in a relationship is because they are both characters with this desperate, clawing need for control. It is the reason they even end up fighting for control over the Young Avengers and why they end up as co-leads but continue to fight and bicker and pull for full control regardless. Personally, I don’t really acknowledge the park incident in Young Avengers Special #1 (2005) as part of Kate’s canon, simply because it’s the backstory for EVERY comics woman (wonder why 😐) and it isn’t even an interesting choice for her or her motivations and it has absolutely no impact on her character to the point where I’m not even sure most people will know what I’m talking about, but if you do, it can totally be used as reasoning for why Kate has this need for control over the people and situations around her. And even if you don’t have a clue what I’m referring to, or simply don’t acknowledge it as canon, even without that Kate is SUCH a character than is obsessed with control, ESPECIALLY as a teenager in that first Young Avengers run. She wants to understand the motives of everyone around her, and use that to her advantage so that they do what she wants them to. She hijacks Eli’s plans every chance she gets to implement her own that she believes are better simply because she can control how they play out. She uses the people around her and will manipulate situations until she is the one calling the shots because she thinks she can do it best. And Eli… is the biggest control freak alive and then some. He needs to be able to see and understand and control the actions of everyone around him because he thinks that is the clearest path to success. He wants everyone to act the way he wants and take the actions he wants, and whenever people (Kate, Tommy, Billy) push back against that he reacts explosively because to him his control of a situation is what will lead him to doing good and being a good person. Eli’s relationship with the idea of goodness and morality is really its own separate post, and one I could very well make, but I’ll just say that the reason Eli needs to have control so bad is because he has this underlying obsession to never stray from the perfectly moral path and he’s the only one that can keep him on that track and if anyone else has control over the situation they can drag him off it. (Which is why he reacts so badly at the end of Children’s Crusade, but that’s not the point rn.)
All this to say, Eli and Kate are both characters who NEED to be in control of their situation and the people around them. It’s compulsive for them. And when you put them together, they cannot have that. It’s this constant balancing act between the two of them that fosters this enteral fight between them that neither of them can win and it leads to them hating each other, especially when they love each other. They cannot last as a couple on their own because they will always try to gain control and a level of security over the other person because it’s just what they do.
Which is WHY, if you were to add a third person into their relationship (Tommy specifically, but I’ll get to that in a second) this problem… well, it doesn’t disappear, but it does become significantly less of an issue. Because then they can both still feel in control, and not threatened, and keep their level of security without having to break down the other to do it. It alleviates the pressure of positive feedback loop of mutual destruction by placing it off of themselves. And the reason it should be Tommy specifically is because he would let them. First off because he is a person who kind of picks the path of least resistance and accepts other people’s choices and ideas kind of without much care, because it’s easy and more importantly safe, and again Tommy is an abused kid who grew up in an unstable environment and had all his safety stripped away from him and that fact impacts every action he takes, so having that sense of safety is important. And having that relationship with Kate and Eli WOULD provide that sense of safety because it’s essentially giving him a layer of security through the idea that there is this path he can take that will ensure his safety and his role on the Young Avengers and it isn’t even hard. Not that he would listen to them, or even let them boss him around— it’s Tommy, his favorite thing in life is being ornery and pissing people off just for the heck of it —but he would have the choice, and as long as he’s letting them without pushing back too much or, more relevantly, trying to force his own brand of control on them, Eli and Kate wouldn’t really be affected in any way more than annoyance at his refusal to play along. Because he is playing along, and the pushing back is part of that.
Anyway all this to say I think that if Marvel had let them try polyamory Kate and Eli could’ve worked together without hating each others guts, and Tommy is the perfect addition because he would not only not mind but find a sort of comfort in the layer of control they feel the need to exert over him. Thank you for coming to my TED talk this turned out so much longer than I expected oops. Yeah okay bye
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