Came Out of the Sky

What's up losers and awesome nerds? The word around the street is that Manny De la Fuente is here to fuck some stuff up. Yes, my name is Manny, and no I'm not handy. Unless you're the Swan Song, then you just go ahead and fuck me up with all the nicknames. Wrestler turned cheerleader, so keep the jokes on hold 'cause I still remember my choke holds. var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5054340"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "http://freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=is lovin\' the alien&e2=are lovin\' the alien&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[mannydelafuente]

Manny up in this bitch

[isabellefinley]

I’m so not complaining about the tip, just that it didn’t make any sense at all. Like, I was pretty sure she wasn’t gonna give me anything and then call my boss and I’d be fired since I’m kinda on my last warning. So if I give you a dollar, can I yell at you? I mean, I don’t think anyone would wanna read my memoir but I totally have a good name for it. Life Outside Hyrule: Tales of a Delivery Girl, which maybe isn’t that good after all….

[mannydelafuente]

Givin’ too many lap dances on your pizza runs? I told you that was gonna get you into trouble but who listens to Handy? It wouldn’t be so bad if you left that place though cause I fuckin’ miss pizza with our games and I’m sick of cleaning the soy sauce off the paddles. You can yell at me for free and I’ll even buy your nerd life book.

[isabellefinley]

So today I had to deliver pizza to this woman who yelled at me for almost five minutes about how long it took for her delivery to get to her, even though I was totally on time, and then she tipped me an extra twenty. Then I show up at a house and this guy dressed as Dracula opens the door and like, acts like a total creep and accuses me of putting garlic in his food. He ordered garlic bread, so that’s kinda obvious.

Is today like, National Order Pizza If You’re A Total Weirdo Day or something?

[mannydelafuente]

Why you out here complain’ about getting an extra Jackson in your pocket? I’d let anyone yell at me if they were gonna pay me for that shit. You’re out here with the most entertain’ job out of anyone. Just sit back, enjoy them assholes, and write about it later in your memoirs.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Yeah. I'm glad you are.

Isabelle: So I might as well just forget the dumb flowers and go with that.

Isabelle: Attention. Spaceship Swan is now within your proximity. Currently docking now. Request immediate attention.

Manny: I ain't goin' anywhere. Well, maybe back to jail. But y'know.

Manny: The flowers ain't dumb to me.

Manny: Rockets are ready to launch at your command.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Me?

Isabelle: So basically I'd come out winning either way?

Isabelle: 2005 called. It wants its word back.

Manny: I'm still here, ain't I?

Manny: You're gonna come out somewhere.

Manny: Yeah, along with that comeback.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: I hope you mean that as a good thing.

Isabelle: What if I don't?

Isabelle: Ugh, you win for now. I can't think of anything else.

Manny: Well, I mean, you savage but I still love you so, who cares?

Manny: Then I'll kiss you anywhere that I want to.

Manny: N00b.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Considering none of them lasted more than a couple of months, pretty sure it's obvious that I never told them that.

Isabelle: Yeah? If I'm ever in the Lanayru Desert, I'll get some for you.

Isabelle: Not a lot so you know, get them all fired up since I'm on my way now.

Manny: Let me just hastily put away my Savage Garden track I was gonna play you, cause you already savage asf.

Manny: I'll kiss you wherever you want if you do.

Manny: I'll set the engines to vibrate.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Yeah, well, you're the only person I've ever said it to and you never figured that out so clearly we're both kinda dumb.

Isabelle: You want me to buy you roses? Because I mean, I could but I'd rather get to the whole pants off thing first.

Isabelle: I can totally help with that as long as all rockets are gonna be thrusting.

Manny: I don't know what you've told those assholes you've dated before.

Manny: Well, if you wanna get all mushy on me then go for it. I'm more of an ancient flower kinda guy tbh.

Manny: What use are non thrustin' rockets to anyone?

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: I'm kinda starting to actually believe it, though. I never knew if it was like, just talk.

Isabelle: Don't I need to be there for there to be actual lift off?

Manny: Who else do you fuckin' see me tellin' them that I love them? You and Puck are probably the only people I ever said that to and I only meant it to him in a "I wanna fuck you but don't buy me roses" kind of way.

Manny: It has no problem lifting off on its own. The ejection could probably use your help though.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Maybe like, seventeen more times?

Isabelle: Do you even have to ask that? Obviously all systems are a go. Prepare for takeoff.

Manny: I'll get to work on it.

Manny: Houston, we have lift off.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: I was allowed to be worried okay, jerkface.

Isabelle: I mean, that'd probably work better if I didn't know you were gonna say it, but I'll take it.

Manny: How many times do I gotta tell you I'm in love with you for you to believe it?

Manny: I'll come up with something better. Does that mean that the pant removal is a go?

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: So I haven't like, ruined anything or whatever?

Isabelle: What if I wanted the lame pick-up line?

Manny: No, you asshole.

Manny: What if I promise to ask if you come here often after you orgasm?

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Isabelle: Did you read my email?

Manny: That would be why I led with the straightforward approach instead of usin' a pick-up line.

[mannydelafuente]

Text || Handyswan

Manny: Come over and take off your pants.

[mannydelafuente]

[Emailed to Manny]

Subject Title: READ THIS

Manny,

I said I didn’t want anymore secrets or lies between us, and I guess that should go for me as well as you. There’s something I figured out a while ago, years ago really, and I never told you because, I don’t know. I guess I was just like, worried it’d scare you away or something and the last thing I ever wanna do is lose you. But I’ve kinda already ruined stuff by kissing you, so I haven’t really got much to lose now, and like, with you going to jail and everything, I guess you should probably know.

I kinda suck at talking about feelings and everything, you know that, but what I’m trying to say is that I like you. Like, as more than my dork best friend. As in love, I think. You know how in Zelda you’ll collect heart pieces to build up more heart containers and with each one you get, you feel way more safe, strong and kick-ass and like you can do anything because you’ve got them? And like, even if something bad happens or you get hurt, it kinda doesn’t seem as bad because you’ve got them? It’s like you’ve collected a piece of mine and like, if you mixed all that with all the Joy Pendants Mrs. Marie wants, that’s kinda how you make me feel.

That’s pretty much exactly how you make me feel, and what’s stupid is that I totally get jealous of everyone you’re with because I wish it was me with you instead. I don’t know if you actually feel the same, so you can just forget I said all that if you want, but I figured you should know and I hope I haven’t ruined everything. That’s the only thing I’ve never told you. You know everything else.

From Isabelle (Duh)

[isabellefinley]

Sure. Okay. We can totally do that. Chicken, no kissing. Got it.

[mannydelafuente]

Perfect.

[isabellefinley]

I don’t know. I wasn’t really thinking about kissing you. I saw you and it just kinda… happened.

[mannydelafuente]

Yeah, well. Next time maybe we could not do that and just go straight for the chicken instead.