Mao's a Dong

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Intro Post

Pronouns: she/her (mtf)

Chairman of the Communist Party on @officalverse-politics-offical. Making the Officalverse better through Maoism.

Officalverse family: @cleaning-spray-offical and @garlic-bread-cult-offical (cousins) @nug-offical-deactiv (child creature)

(Mod is not a Maoist because Mao's a dong)

[average-human-offical]

I have two goals in life:

1: To be able to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

2: To find a second goal in life.

[beansandsausages32]

Pssst I’m Steve-Officai

.. so Tumblr terminated me :/

WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY??

[herobrine-offical]

@staff BRING HIM BACK YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF SHIT.

[herobrine-offical]

@killer-offical @no-one-offical @astronaut-offical @nug-offical-deactiv

@idontknowhowtospellmyname @satan-offical Can someone please get this some fucking reach so tumblr brings him back. I cannot lose another friend

[astronaut-offical]

Yeah, that's not cool >:[

@apocalyptic-endings @grapefruit-offical @darkness-offical @light-offical @constellations-offical @sandofficial @nelly-rebellyyyyy @sharks-offical @the-one-and-only-piper-offical + anyone else who sees this.

[argon-offical]

whattt???

@aperturehrdept-official @artificially-generated-offical @badinfluence-offical @burning-britain-official @chlorine-offical @coffee--spill @chickfila-offical @definitely-not-ao3-offical @doxxer-offical @dying-pen-offical @do-not-u-dare @engineering-offical @faa-offical @ghostlybluetrain @i-enjoy-the-gays @imb0ring @nurse-offical @penny-offical @sirsamueloflydia @sw0ape4ter @shadyfruitsalad @the-grim-reaper-offical @the-one-and-only-piper-offical @the-scuba-diver-offical @ur-least-fav-gal-offical @yuri-offical @zeta-finnish

[burning-britain-official]

Can't see have tumblr be like what their doing with spirit air lines? Like rin by the poeple or run like comic fury by one sensible person

@an-angel-offical @costa-rica-offical @bunny-slippers-offical @someone-official @imightbeafaerie-official-offical @fay-offical @evilpineapple-offical @ashyd-shy @lazy-n @falkor-the-best-villain @eredin-offical @instant-yuri-machine @phantom-foxy-offical @please-stand-by-or-else open tags

[eredin-offical]

A shame. I shan't remember you either way.

@evilpineapple-offical @breadcrumb-offical @salamander-offical @imightbeafaerie-official-offical @someone-official @fay-offical @aostchekhovreturns

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I support authoritarianism in no form! Shame upon the staff!

@art-hammer-certified @nug-offical-deactiv @mengistu-haile-mariam @cleaning-spray-offical @garlic-bread-cult-offical

[mao-the-dong-offical]

It's crazy that Lenin died over a century ago now

[thighhighs-offical]

Cmon, you know you want to wear me

[officalverse-politics-offical]

It is time for another election for Prime Minister!

Who do you vote?

Mao-the-dong-offical

Art-hammer-certified

Mengistu-haile-mariam

That-lost-sock-offical

Voting ended onJun 18

@mao-the-dong-offical is a politician who has served as Chairman of the Communist Party since its establishment. He has previously served as President of the Officalverse and Red Sun of the Officalverse.

@art-hammer-certified is a politician who is a member of the Communist Party. They are currently the 2nd Red Sun of the Officalverse, serving since May 15.

@mengistu-haile-mariam is a politician who is a member of the Communist Party. They have previously served as the 1st Prime Minister of the Officalverse, serving 2 full terms before.

@that-lost-sock-official is a politician who has served as the Chairman of the Laundry Party since its establishment. They are the incumbent 2nd Prime Minister of the Officalverse.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I thank @that-lost-sock-offical for their service. They have served competently as Prime Minister, and I would not object to them winning again.

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Court case

I would like to call to order a court session.

@nug-offical-deactiv, former Chairman of Blank Birthday Communism, has accused Chairman of the Communist Party of the Officalverse @mao-the-dong-offical of murder.

@killer-offical claims to have witnessed the event.

I will carry out a court session with legal and democratic procedures starting now.

[officalverse-politics-offical]

After sufficient private interviews with the 3 main people at hand, the court case can continue publicly.

It does not seem as if @killer-offical and @nug-offical-deactiv maintained private communications, and their stories match up.

However, I can not find evidence of the murder being committed by @mao-the-dong-offical. Both sides of the story are likely.

@nug-offical-deactiv, as the accuser, I give you the word. Try to convince me to sentence Mao.

[nug-offical-deactiv]

i am fucking dead. ???

i have the g̱ẖo̱s̱ṯ ṯa̱i̱ḻ

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Thank you. Unless @nug-offical-deactiv or @art-hammer-certified would like to interrupt, I will move on to a statement from @mao-the-dong-offical.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Your ghost tail is indicative of nothing. Yes, you have died, we are agreed on that. I would like to know how it implicates myself. I have heard no coherent argument from your side thus far.

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Thank you. Unless @mao-the-dong-offical or @killer-offical would like to interrupt, we will continue with a response from @nug-offical-deactiv.

[nug-offical-deactiv]

Well, if I remember correctly, I remember seeing them just befire my death holding a serrated knife.

Your Honour, please show Evidence File A.

*Evidence A: A serrated knife, with a length of 62.5mm and a height of 13.5mm.*

And Your Honour, please show File B.

*Evidence B: My dead body. Just there. It has a hole in my back, the size of 13.5mm.*

If we measure the knife and the hole, we get the same 13.5mm. This shows that this knife was used, and, if we take a look at the back, it has engraved the signature of Mao.

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Thank you for your statement, Nug. This evidence provided of your body seems legitimate, but I am afraid that Evidence File A has not been thoroughly examined. A closer look will need to be taken on these items.

Unless @nug-offical-deactiv or @killer-offical would like to intervene, we will proceed with a statement from @mao-the-dong-offical.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

The evidence you have procured is lovely, Nug. Do you know, in fact I have the power to call off this court case entirely, with permission from Red Moon @mengistu-haile-mariam.

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

how come #pansexual gets the fun colours but not #bisexual???

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I hear you

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Court case

I would like to call to order a court session.

@nug-offical-deactiv, former Chairman of Blank Birthday Communism, has accused Chairman of the Communist Party of the Officalverse @mao-the-dong-offical of murder.

@killer-offical claims to have witnessed the event.

I will carry out a court session with legal and democratic procedures starting now.

[officalverse-politics-offical]

After sufficient private interviews with the 3 main people at hand, the court case can continue publicly.

It does not seem as if @killer-offical and @nug-offical-deactiv maintained private communications, and their stories match up.

However, I can not find evidence of the murder being committed by @mao-the-dong-offical. Both sides of the story are likely.

@nug-offical-deactiv, as the accuser, I give you the word. Try to convince me to sentence Mao.

[nug-offical-deactiv]

i am fucking dead. ???

i have the g̱ẖo̱s̱ṯ ṯa̱i̱ḻ

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Thank you. Unless @nug-offical-deactiv or @art-hammer-certified would like to interrupt, I will move on to a statement from @mao-the-dong-offical.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Your ghost tail is indicative of nothing. Yes, you have died, we are agreed on that. I would like to know how it implicates myself. I have heard no coherent argument from your side thus far.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

very rude of you to kill me

I didn't, my son!

[officalverse-politics-offical]

Can I be part of the officalverse FDA? @coffeeshop-offical said that I should talk to you guys.

I would like to be paid 67,000 USD a year, if that is possible. I am a great food inspector and will travel across the multiverse to inspect every restaurant.

@mao-the-dong-offical what do you say?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

@food-inspector-offical your blog history seems very trustworthy. I would he happy to hire you if:

You join the Communist Party of the Officalverse

You agree to the same salary as everybody else working for the Government (equivalent to 80 000 USD a year)

[the-stew-goblin]

There are wires in your skin. Let me tear them out so I can sell the copper

To buy stew ingredients!

[mao-the-dong-offical]

You are on the fence of being intellectual and capitalist, I'll be watching you.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I am back once again. I have received an anonymous request to assassinate you. I will now proceed.

– @killer-offical

*Activates emergency protection granted to me by the Government*

[killer-offical]

And what is that supposed to do?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

It protects me from any immediate threats against my health.

You would have succeeded the first time, buy unfortunately you were taking a break. I must be caught unawares.

[killer-offical]

from EVERYTHING? I can just put a bomb beneath you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

From any threat against my health, even bombs. It's the thought that counts though, so you still deserve whatever money you're getting paid for this.

[killer-offical]

what, so it just lasts forever and gives 100% protection?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Yes, until I disable it.

[killer-offical]

I'm gonna guess it only responds to your finger prints or whatever

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I haven't gone over the logistics of its functions, I might do that.

[killer-offical]

shouldn't have said that. whatever, and what happens if I try to kill you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I will come out unscathed from your attack.

[killer-offical]

Sigh. should've killed you the last time

[mao-the-dong-offical]

You should have, yes. Goodbye for now, and thank you for your time.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

*walks in as a ghost*

Hello my child

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I am back once again. I have received an anonymous request to assassinate you. I will now proceed.

– @killer-offical

*Activates emergency protection granted to me by the Government*

[killer-offical]

And what is that supposed to do?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

It protects me from any immediate threats against my health.

You would have succeeded the first time, buy unfortunately you were taking a break. I must be caught unawares.

[killer-offical]

from EVERYTHING? I can just put a bomb beneath you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

From any threat against my health, even bombs. It's the thought that counts though, so you still deserve whatever money you're getting paid for this.

[killer-offical]

what, so it just lasts forever and gives 100% protection?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Yes, until I disable it.

[killer-offical]

I'm gonna guess it only responds to your finger prints or whatever

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I haven't gone over the logistics of its functions, I might do that.

[killer-offical]

shouldn't have said that. whatever, and what happens if I try to kill you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I will come out unscathed from your attack.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I am back once again. I have received an anonymous request to assassinate you. I will now proceed.

– @killer-offical

*Activates emergency protection granted to me by the Government*

[killer-offical]

And what is that supposed to do?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

It protects me from any immediate threats against my health.

You would have succeeded the first time, buy unfortunately you were taking a break. I must be caught unawares.

[killer-offical]

from EVERYTHING? I can just put a bomb beneath you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

From any threat against my health, even bombs. It's the thought that counts though, so you still deserve whatever money you're getting paid for this.

[killer-offical]

what, so it just lasts forever and gives 100% protection?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Yes, until I disable it.

[killer-offical]

I'm gonna guess it only responds to your finger prints or whatever

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I haven't gone over the logistics of its functions, I might do that.

[mao-the-dong-offical]

I am back once again. I have received an anonymous request to assassinate you. I will now proceed.

– @killer-offical

*Activates emergency protection granted to me by the Government*

[killer-offical]

And what is that supposed to do?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

It protects me from any immediate threats against my health.

You would have succeeded the first time, buy unfortunately you were taking a break. I must be caught unawares.

[killer-offical]

from EVERYTHING? I can just put a bomb beneath you

[mao-the-dong-offical]

From any threat against my health, even bombs. It's the thought that counts though, so you still deserve whatever money you're getting paid for this.

[killer-offical]

what, so it just lasts forever and gives 100% protection?

[mao-the-dong-offical]

Yes, until I disable it.