MAPLE CITY PF

PF is for . . .

[maplecitypf]

No New Members at This Time

After the last post about the beast, we had a handful of curious dm twats on Twitter trying to contact us. The #MCPF is NOT accepting any new members at this time except if you can prove your a Maple leaf pre ‘69 and paid your dues. There are some people out there in #Honesdale and Wayne county that think their clever and hip, well news flash starshine, no your fucking not! Lets get something straight, the #MCPF is not a hipster organization for bleeding heart commie pinko bedwetters with their soy mocha lattes that need safe spaces to curl up in the fetal position and suck their thumbs. The #MCPF is the only thing bumping back against the strange and weird that go bump in the night in this fuckin’ town and we’re not talking about the petty shenanigans of Stourbridge graffiti-wanna-be’s, late night scooter tossers, or the the rabble still fighting the Main St. Pizza Wars of ‘99. 

[maplecitypf]

Blood on the Snow

From time immemorial in these here parts of the #NEPA, specifically Wayne county my #MCPF kin had made a pact with the Mhuwe...the wicked snow bastard that the first nation Delaware tribes had only whispered about. These fuckin’ beasts which defy description that look like sin and smell worse then a hobo spunking with a skunk. Well they’re making their way back to this dale via a hidden portal up there on the Irving cliff. Lately from the MCPF bunker i’ve been hearing their low frequency gutteral agitations in the morning during my morning coffee and pipe. No one is left around Honesdale that has any memory of these sick monsters. Most of the locals or old families who go back to some of the original registers during the D&H expansion and canals don’t have a clue. Actually their are other factions here working secretly doing dark ops at the Historical Society and Court hose to expunge record of these peculiarities. At the MCPF we have a file cabinet full of reports that go way back. This is certainly a hard winter, and harder than we have had in few years. With the incoming snow storm this week I’m sure these degenerate pieces of prehistoric monkey shite will make an appearance. They seem to like to do their chaotic mischief in those dark hours when town becomes quiet and all that might be heard is a Penndot truck. Honestly the lazy bastards don’t have to do a whole heck of a lot since the idiots that currently live here think its cute with their misplaced kindness to feed the deer. Fuck the deer . . . the only good deer is the one in my freezer. Trust me, if my grandfathers journals from the 30′s are correct their was a pact made with this wretched beast and his grandfather (my great-great grandfather) back in 1880′s that it and all its evil inter dimensional spawn keep the fuck out of these hills, forking streams, hollars, and dales surrounding Wayne county. 

The dedicated team here in the bunker, the last remnants of the MCPF will have to be the vanguard I suppose to keep these gangly hairy shits at bay. The after shocks and tremors of the time quake ripples out and the present and what was once the golden age of Maple City and its interdimensional Antediluvian returners overlap. The MCPF TS&R Department have been working with great effort to document these anomalies and make sense of it all. It’s hard to believe that the transmissions over the aether from my multiverse father are still coming through via shortwave. In one of the infinite realms of possibilities its hard to believe that in one of them is an atomic sterile Buzz who was able to endure his time to now...it must be kismet that our paths intersected. 

Thats enough for now from the bunker. We’ll post more as time permits to keep you all informed about the snow beast. Peace to all of you out there and don’t let your dogs and cats go out unaccompanied this weekend or at least until this storm passes over.   

[maplecitypf]

Pink Flash

To those out there waking up in the Honesdale multiverse, ya’ll better grab your tin foil and bubble wrap, this is the first of what will be many transmissions coming from the MCPF bunker. We’re not really sure why or how this fracture occurred to the fabric of the Maple City time continuum. We’re doing our best to make sense of all the quakes and aftershocks. Possibly with the other MCPF members investigations we’ll be able to piece together the forked realities in Wayne county. One thing for sure is that something went off the rails and we do not mean the Stourbridge Lion. Was this tear the result of the Tunguska event of 1908 or Philadelphia Mass Turbulence of 1947? Stay tuned to the MCPF Departments for your source for curated inspiration and information into local lore, phenomenon, cryptids, artifacts, ruins, and other dusty curiosities and happenings coming to light at the MCPF desk.