I'm Telling My Own Damn Story

An adult by law, not aptitude.

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

[edgebug]

happy 20 year anniversary of Neil banging out the tunes!

though every rat is special, it's a wonderful and unusual thing for their accomplishments to be remembered and cherished by so many people so many years later. we're all so fortunate to know about the rat who banged out the tunes!

thank you to all the people who sent me reference photos of their beloved rats for this piece!!! credits under the cut!

@joe-spookyy Ben and Socrates

@gooseontheinternet Chamomile and Beefy

@runawayy-rat Bartholomäus and Emo

@theunholystromboli Macrogryphosaurus, Xenoceratops, and Graciliraptor

@techlecticwtch Solas and Dorian

@merlyn-bane Roslyn and Rizzoli

@logictoinsanity Luna and Buttercup

@hagsthehag Orphie, Psyche, Calypso, Ariadne, and Eury

my sweet ladies Bonnie, Mira, An, and Tula

and of course, the irreplaceable

Neil,

who banged out the tunes

[yorgen-sh]

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

[thememedaddy]

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[dogpuppy]

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[boobcareer]

i am going to suck you off! *puts in plastic vampire teeth and gives you the worst blowjob imaginable*

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

[innovadesexual]

[biocrafthero]

[despazito]

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls

[phlebasthebroenician]

Yahoooooooooo!!!!

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sushi-stims]

source

please credit me if you repost !

[abalidoth]

[brainscrems]

[cherryflowerr-deactivated202601]

hiking that ends in you pumping a load into me behind a tree

[battletoads]

Dick Cheney Hunting Simulator