bella in vista, dentro e trista

Marcello Caesar Bartalucci -20 years old - "Originality is independence, not rebellion; it is sincerity, not antagonism." (George Henry Lewes)

[marc-bartalucci]

The Notes

In the envelope that Marc put on his drawer were notes, individually addressed to each resident of Imperium from Marc. 

If you're reading this, chances are something bad happened. I'd like to start this all off by apologizing. I'm sorry for any kind of pain or heartache I've put any of you through... but most of all, I'm sorry for putting you all in danger for so long. If you don't already know, my father is a dangerous man. I know things about him that could get him into serious trouble. My point is, I care about each of you, and you can't get involved with him. No matter what he's done to me or what terrible things he says, don't get involved. Don't ask questions. Don't even talk to him. If there's anyone to blame for this, it's me. 

In this envelope are letters to each of you, and whoever is reading this: it's your job to distribute them.

- Marc

PS: Domino's is not real Italian food, and never will be.

---

Nixon: 

Man, I don't know what I would have done without you. You are without a doubt, the best friend I could have ever asked for. I'm really sorry I could never talk to you about my life and my past... I couldn't risk putting you in danger. I couldn't do that.If something had happened to you.. anyways, I just want you to know that even though I never really talked to you, I knew you were always there for me and you had my back, and as someone who was alone most of my life, I really do appreciate it and you. I'm sorry I can't be here for you anymore, really, I am. But Nix, you have such a great life ahead of you. Let go of your past and just live. That's something I wish I was able to do. And look, I know Aurora broke your heart, but when you're ready, don't be afraid to fall in love again. Just know that there was nothing you could do to prevent this. I love you, man. 

Frankie:

Frankie, please don't freak out. I promise that you're going to be fine without me. I'm sorry, though, I'm so sorry for any hurt this causes you. I promise, Floorboard, you'll get through this because you're so strong. You have Isaiah and Kadence and Ricky and Jaxx. It'll be okay. I'm so sorry I don't get to see the wedding, though. You're going to look beautiful up there, and you're going to be happy with Isaiah and your family. Just know that there's absolutely nothing you could have done different. I love you, and keep your head up, alright? Just because I'm gone doesn't mean I'll stop caring about you, Frankie. 

Kadence:

God, Kadence, I'm so sorry. You were always such a great friend to me, and just please promise me you won't freak out. And don't let Frankie freak out. You two will seriously be fine without me, alright? You're doing so well right now, I don't want to be the reason that you get sad again. Promise me you'll stay happy. You aren't crazy and you never have been, you just feel everything really intensely, and I admire that about you. Your passion for.. well, anything, really. Don't lose that. And just know, Kadence, it's never too late to completely start over. Remember to do what's best for you, alright? I'm here for you, even if it's not in the physical. I love you. 

Caleb: 

I don't even really know what to say to you, Caleb. We're so much alike that it almost scares me, because I know you don't deserve to go through all of the pain that you have, regardless of what you think of yourself. Whatever your father says is completely untrue. Just, please Caleb, please promise me that you'll remember the things I told you. Don't give up, you can be happy. You just have to let go of your past and embrace the future. Let's ignore the fact that I sound like a Hallmark card. It's true, Caleb. You're a great guy, believe me. You deserve happiness. regret not being a better friend to you and not getting to know you better, but I really do mean what I say. You're so much better than you think, just give yourself a chance. For me?

Eli:

I love how you could always make me laugh, even on my worst days. I really am glad that we were friends, man. It seems like we could talk about absolutely anything and still manage to find it all entertaining, and I really appreciate that about you. I know we weren't exactly super close, but you were always there for me when I needed it and.. just, thank you for that. I hope you and Pippa are happy together, I really do. 

Pippa:

Even though I didn't know you for very long, I feel like I really connected with you. I'm glad we got to be friends, Pippa. You're one of the easiest people to talk to that I've encountered in this place. You're also pretty funny. I'm glad you and Eli are together, it seems like you are and will be happy. Obviously, I don't know everything about you, but I know something is up. Everyone has their secrets, right? My best advice is just to leave the past in the past. It's something I could never really do, but I hope you will. I really hope you're happy.

Avery:

I haven't known you for long, but I'm really glad that I met you. You're an amazing person, and an even better listener. Sometimes that's all we need, someone who cares to listen, and you gave that to me. I really do appreciate it. I know things between you and Caleb have been.. complicated, to say the least, but I know that you two truly make each other happy. He is really crazy about you, Avery, and I can tell you like him a lot too. Everyone has baggage, but I believe that you two can work through it. Even if I'm gone, I'll always listen to you when you need me, Avery. 

Isaiah:

Well, you're marrying my best friend, so you must be pretty damn cool. Really, Isaiah, you're awesome. You're really fun to talk to, even if you do always end up making fun of me. And you were there on the night when I with shit-faced crazy and are still my friend. Though, you don't really remember it. If you scare everyone with another coma, I'll come back to haunt you. Anyways, on a more serious note, you're marrying Frankie. Take care of her, man, she's a treasure. Frankie is my best friend and seriously one of the most amazing people I know. She loves you so much, and I know you love her too. I wish I could be there to see you two get married and fall in love more and more each day, but just promise me you'll take care of her.

Nirvana:

Nirv, I remember way back in the day when we first met. You were one of my first friends at Refresh, and we just really hit it off. I know we weren't the closest friends, but I've always cared deeply about you. I'm sorry I didn't say it or show it more often, but I'll never forget exploring that abandoned theatre with you. I know you've got your shit, we all do, but you can get through it, Nirv. One thing I've always admired about you is your strength. Not to mention you're also a genius.

Hazel:

We only talked a few times, but you seem like a fascinating person. I mean that in a good way, of course. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you, it seems like we never really crossed paths. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I'm glad you're at Imperium. Best wishes.

Aura:

From what I've heard, you're a really cool person and I don't doubt it. I know that you and Eli had a past, and I'm happy for him that his best friend is back. I wish we'd had more opportunities to talk, though, because when we did you seemed really nice. I wish you well, though, with your child and everything.

Jasper:

All I really know about you is that you're a great roommate. Really, you don't come in super early drunk or make messes or anything like that, but I'm sorry that that's all I know. I really do regret not having the chance to get to know you every well, Jazz, but you seem like a really cool dude. Take care of Nixon for me, alright?

Amelie: 

I thought I'd say this one for last, since you're my match... even though we've only talked a few times. I'm so sorry, Amelie. Sorry that we didn't get to know each other, sorry that I'm gone, sorry that I was the crappiest excuse for a match in the history of the universe. To tell you the truth I was still getting over my old match... I'm not sure if you heard of her? And I just didn't want to use any feelings for you to rebound from her, or whatever. That wouldn't really be fair to you and you're an amazing girl. Really, that much I know. I hope you can forgive me for all of this. You deserve better.

Frenchie: 

I doubt you'll ever get this, but here goes nothing. You were my first love, French, and that's hard to let go of. Selfishly, I wish I'd never taken you to that dock and arranged that boat. I wish you'd stayed here and we'd suffered through the government together, but you had so much more potential and I know this place was making you crazy. It was for the best, even though it hurt like hell... right? By this point, I can only hope that you've forgotten about me and moved on. You deserve better than me and all of my fucked-up problems, French, and I know you'll find the one somewhere out there in the world. Whenever you're sad or tired, remember all of the things I told you. That hasn't changed. I mean every single word that I've ever said to you. I loved you, Frenchie, with my whole heart, but we both needed to move on. I will never forget you, and I hope you'll remember me fondly. 

[marc-bartalucci]

nessuno ha mai esce | self para

A thud outside his room caused Marcello Bartalucci to stir. He sat up, his weary eyes searching the dark room. The glaring red numbers on his clock read 3:28 a.m. Marc turned onto his side and pulled a pillow over his head, figuring one of his roommates was simply getting in late and determined to go back to sleep. He dozed on and off for the next three minutes, falling in and out of consciousness. When his door creaked open, the twenty year-old didn't move, thinking he was simply dreaming. This was his first mistake.

"Castellani," a gruff voice called and the overhead light snapped on. Marc blinked rapidly, his brown eyes having trouble adjusting to the sudden bright light. "Ah, it is true. I was not sure I would find you here," said man who's dark skin was covered with ink, his words coated in a thick accent. Marcello vaguely recognized the man as Michael Mancuso, boss of the Bonanno gang of New York and one of Marc's father's biggest rivals. For as long as Marcello could remember, Mancuso and his father had been trying to kill each other and get the upper hand in New York City's "market" of drugs. 

Marcello slowly rose from his bed, eyeing the two large men standing by his bedroom door and then looking back at Mancuso, who was positioned at the foot of Marc's bed. "Can I help you?" he asked, keeping his voice controlled and his expression stoic, though he was inwardly freaking out. If Mancuso and his men had gotten onto the island, who's to say there weren't more? Marcello knew he had to go along with whatever the boss was planning in order to spare his friends. Marc knew one thing for sure: he would never let his friends get involved with the mess of the mafia. 

"Well, yes, you can," Michael answered with a cruel smile. "Your father has managed to snatch one of my biggest clients, and it would greatly please me to know how he's done it." Marcello slowly, cautiously, slipped his hand into the drawer by his bed. His hands felt the cool handle of the pistol he kept in his dresser, but he silently nudged it to the side. Marc's fingers grasped an envelope, which he pulled out of the draw, his eyes never leaving Mancuso's face. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am in no way connected to my father's...business." Mancuso laughed and crossed his arms, his jacket riding up to reveal a gun strapped to his side. No surprise there. "Why would your father come to this island if not for a partnership with his son?" 

Marcello placed the envelope on the top of the dresser and slowly maneuvered the small blade he kept in the dresser up the sleeve of his hoodie, while Mancuso was turned and barking orders to his men. Michael snapped his fingers and the two men advanced on Marc. 

His muscles went rigid and shook with the anticipation of an attack, but Marc willed himself not to fight back. If he left with them quietly, they wouldn't hurt anyone on the island. As long as his friends remained unharmed, Marc would be alright. He always was.

Suddenly, a crash broke the silence. Marc assumed it came from the living room and his heart pounded in his chest. It was either Nixon, Amelie, or Jazz. While the men were looking that way, Marc tore out of the room, sprinting to the back door and outside. He ran fast enough to stay out of the men's reach, but slow enough that they could see him so they would not go after anyone else. 

After five minutes of running, Marcello reached the beach. Marc groaned as the 6'6 man came crashing into his body. He coughed, spitting sand out of his mouth, and blocked his face as the two huge men hit him. "Don't you know better than to run from men like me?" Mancuso asked with a cruel smirk as he heard Marc's grunts. The punches landed on Marc's gut, arms, and face. A few good kicks to the ribs and Marc was groaning, occasionally getting in a few good punches. He struggled to stand, but each time was shoved back down and beaten. Marc was no match for the huge men. 

"Nessuno ha mai esce, Marc," Manscuso's voice echoed in Marc's foggy blind. One last punch to the gut knocked Marc out and the men dragged his bleeding and broken body to the boat they had tied to the dock. Due to the severe beating and with the help of a little chloroform, Marcello did not wake up until two days later. He assumed he was in New York, but he couldn't tell for sure because he was kept in the basement.

[avery-bryant]

I-I-I don’t think the room should be spinning the way it is.

[marc-bartalucci]

Avery.. what's going on?

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

Well, I don’t think that you’re entirely correct, but this hospital isn’t exactly putting me in the mood to be arguing. I’m pretty sure that I can, and will, blame myself. I’ve done enough to make me worthy of fault. I’ve had a few, but then again, happiness is all subjective. Sometimes happiness seems like it’s around only because things have been so bleak besides that moment. Y-you tried to kill yourself? Perhaps I’m accepting the lies because they’re really true even though I’d rather them not be. I wouldn’t say that no one here would be happy. I mean, my father’s around here somewhere, and he’d probably only be sad because he wouldn’t have gotten to kill me himself. Oh, I’m pretty positive that I don’t matter when it comes to being able to do anything good. My death might have been a blow to the evil forces, but the hope for goodness in the world would have been advanced. I wouldn’t say that they don’t know anything. They warned me I’d never be able to function properly if I didn’t learn how to cope with things without medication. They were quite right about that, I mean, look where I am now.

[marc-bartalucci]

Good, then just accept that I know what I'm talking about. You're one of the most stubborn people I've ever met, Caleb. But I get it.. your whole life, people have been telling you that you're not capable of doing any good, or of really being happy, right? Especially your father? Everything that's happened, all of the people who have been hurt, all of the things you're blaming yourself for are in the past. If you're not going to accept that those things weren't your fault, then you need to at least leave them in the past. Life sucks, man, and shit happens. The past has a way of following us, and showing up at the worst times. But, like you've said, you've had a few glimpses of happiness. What made those moments happy for you? Your father sounds like a lovely person, really... Anyways, Caleb, if you ignore everything else I say, please remember that you lived for a reason. You've stayed alive this long because your life will serve a greater purpose, if you get out of your own way. You've been given the gift of life, something that some don't have the luxury of, over and over again, so don't waste it. All of the people we knew who aren't alive now, do it for them. It's never too late to change, Caleb, and since you seem so hell-bent on the idea that everything is your fault, the least you can do is turn it around now. Well, there you go. They know nothing. You may be here now, but it's up to you to say where you'll be in the future.

Yeah, I did try to kill myself. At the time, I thought it was the only way to stop the pain around me, but when I woke up in the hospital to see my Uncle and Iz... I realized how wrong I was. If I had been successful, I can't imagine how wrecked it would have left them. Ric would blame himself everyday and probably relapse, start doing drugs again and God knows what else and Iz.. I know she would have blamed herself too, wished we hadn't fought the few times we did and God knows what would have come of her. Christ, she was only twelve. I'm not saying I have the right to live, just.. think about how it would effect the people around you. We would all blame ourselves, Caleb, you know that right? We would wonder, is there something more I could have done? Is this my fault? And I'm sure that wasn't your intention.

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

Well, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve gone through this, too. You’re a decent guy and shouldn’t have. Of course I don’t want to purposefully ruin people’s lives, it’s just an effect of being around me. I’m not my father. I won’t actually blow up their homes or throw them in jail. See, I’ve waited so many years for life to get better and it never has. The only time I didn’t see the darkness is when I was addicted to pills and alcohol. That’s not exactly a place I’d like to go back to. It’s only worth it if there are good times. Ah, I’ve seen plenty of shrinks over the years and they all told me that I was a lost case. That was quite optimistic of them. There was one guy who said he thought I could make it, but what’s one guy versus everyone else? Anyways, that guy’s dead now so there’s that.

[marc-bartalucci]

You're a decent guy, too, and no matter what you tell yourself, you don't deserve any of this, okay? Well, at least you know you're not your father. That's a good place to start. But really, Caleb, you can't blame yourself. You've had absolutely no good times except for the addiction? Are you sure about that? I am sorry, though. Really, I get where you're coming from.. there was a time when I tried to kill myself, too. It.. it seemed like the only way to stop the pain around me, but in reality, that just made it worse. Think about it, Caleb, by killing yourself, you're not solving anything, you're just accepting the lies your father tells you about yourself and becoming defeated. And if you had succeeded, no one here would be happy. And we would never be the same. You may think you don't matter, but you do. Wow... sorry. I kinda went off on a sermon there... Shrinks don't actually know anything, and that I've learned from experience. 

[vogueisms]

I try to be. It really helped a lot. I feel a hundred times better. They always seem to help.

[marc-bartalucci]

You don't even have to try. That's so great to hear, Kadence! But I'm really glad you're back. It wasn't the same without you.

[its--frankie]

You do. I swear, your jawline is perfect. It’s not your job to make me blush, shut up. No blushing. None. I refuse. Stop it right this second. 

[marc-bartalucci]

Weird compliment, but thanks anyways. Um yes it is, I'm the uncle to your children so, therefore, I can make you blush whenever I want. 

[its--frankie]

What are you even saying? I’m swooning. 

[marc-bartalucci]

Alright, alright, I'm done. I don't want to piss Isaiah off or anything.

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

A reason? The reason is that I’m a failure and can’t even take my own life properly. I don’t really have a reason for living. Every person I’m around gets screwed up and why should I let this continue happening? That’s what who told you?

[marc-bartalucci]

I... wow, Caleb. Just wow. I'm sorry I just didn't realize just how alike we are.. I've been where you are. Hell, I'm still there. I understand that it seems like everything bad that happens around you is your fault but the way I see it.. or the way I have to convince myself to see it is that if you don't deliberately screw up someone's life, it isn't your fault. It's not like you want to or try to screw people over... it's hard, though. It's hard to convince yourself, but life does get better... eventually. Honestly, it gets better and it gets worse. It's a huge roller coaster of shit, but it's worth all the good times. My uncle, the numerous shrinks he took me to, take your pick.

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

A lot of things, but yes my father had a part in it. I wouldn’t blame him completely though. I’m the incompetent one. I mean, I can’t even kill myself probably. Oh well.

[marc-bartalucci]

You're not incompetent, Caleb. There has to be a reason you're still alive. I know with all the shit going on, your father and whatever else you're blaming yourself for, it doesn't seem like it, but there always is. You just have to find it again, your reason for living. At least, that's what they told me.

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

Not much. I fell off of a cliff and survived. It wasn’t exactly what was supposed to happen, but oh well.

[marc-bartalucci]

Fell off of a cliff? Caleb... why? Because of your father? Because of the rebellion? 

[calebmontegue-deactivated202010]

Well, dammit, this certainly is not where I was expecting to be today.

[marc-bartalucci]

Caleb, what in the hell happened?

[vogueisms]

Yes, you do. It’s great. Super cute and handsome. Well I love you just because. I did visit my family. It was a lot of fun.

[marc-bartalucci]

You're too sweet, really. That's awesome! Did it help to see them?

[its--frankie]

I meant as in the under government control thing. We really would, I can’t really deny that, but you have like a flawless jawline so it makes sense. I’m assuming not, but who knows? Staaahhhppp itttt. Shush shush shush, I’m going to turn red and like my face will melt off. That isn’t cute. 

[marc-bartalucci]

Oh, my bad. A flawless jawline? I don't think I've heard that one before, but alright. Anything could happen. It's totally my job to make you blush, so no I won't stop. That would be interesting to see.... 

[its--frankie]

No, don’t speak in foreign languages around me. I will swoon and like melt.

[marc-bartalucci]

Anche se non sai cosa sto dicendo? Kidding, alright, fine. I'll stop.

[avery-bryant]

It’s not selfish at all. I understand what you mean, though. Well, time will only let you fall out of love with her. You need to focus on that. Maybe go on a date with Amelie or something to help? You can come talk to me about it any time you want to.

[marc-bartalucci]

Thank you, Avery. I know I can always talk to you, I'm lucky to have you as a friend. A date with Amelie? Would that really help? I just..I think that would be unfair to her.. and I do care about her, I think she's pretty amazing and I.. I don't to hurt her, or use her to get over Frenchie, or anything...

[marc-bartalucci]

Except I'm not really that sorry.

I mean it's in the past right soo