marc™️

he/they

[marcandthecity]

Lovefoolish? Lovesick?

Yesterday, while watching the 2021 Met Gala livestream, my dear friend Zoya, after I saw a couple and said they looked cute together, told me that I was a ‘Lovesick Puppy’ and promptly explained how even though I hadnt liked anyone or had a crush on anyone in ages that I am apparently obsessed with the idea of being in love. I was rightly confused so afterwards I began to wonder “What makes me a lovesick puppy?”

According to the internet, a lovesick puppy is someone who is insecure, touch starved and starved of affection in general. While I see where she was coming from, I attempted to ignore her opinion and ignore any sort of agreement I had. That was until I developed a micro-crush on a boy who showed me the smallest little bit of attention. So as a result I told my friend Harry, who warned me against doing such things and blamed it on my lack of male friends so when a boy im not friends with gives me the tiniest bit of attention I fall ever so slightly head over heels with them. While that crush has completely fizzled out in the last day as a result of a very interesting private story on Instagram. The point remained but then I attempted once again to ignore this revelation.

But my tales of crushing woe goes back further, to be exact the 28th of August 2020. While I had a friend over at my house for a cup of tea he told me “You better not pick your course based on a boy you like” because apparently, it’s been a common consensus that I will just end up doing dumb shit for a boy.

It only hit me about 20 minutes ago before writing this, that I am essentially Charlotte York of Sex and the City fame. A character who believes wholeheartedly in true love and is obsessed with falling in love. Which essentially sent me over the edge into the spiral that made me write this piece all of a slap. Because, apparently everybody is convinced that I am a lovesick puppy and that its a problem? I genuinely dont think it is a problem because it’s just how I feel on any given day. Just because I love Rom-coms and believe in love. Doesn’t mean I am a complete lovefool.

[marcandthecity]

A Summer through the bottom of a cocktail glass.

Ah yes summer, a time where queues are abundant and as a result of the pent up horniness of the nation syphilis is rising. This year most if not all of these situations occurred at a little bar named Pharmacia. A place where most if not all of students of Limerick frequent. A place where I have developed the most interesting habit of people watching while drinking a cosmo. But the most interesting things that have happened there have come straight from the horses mouth, a.k.a my own friends.

The funniest situations occurred with my former classmates from my secondary school. On Leaving Cert results night we all attempted to go in but guess what? A good 3/4s of my friends completely forgot to bring IDs and were refused entry. So after we ordered 3 Mojitos, 2 Cosmos, a glass of Orchard Thieves, the confusion began. My friends began to worry about the majority that had been left noticeably outside the bar and anxiously downed their drinks except for my friend who I will call for the sake of anonymity Carrie. (I know I literally stole that from Sex and the City but it is currently playing on my TV as I write this.) Poor Carrie was rushed out of the Bar and had to leave half her drink behind because the girls started to get very pushy about leaving to join the people that weren’t left into the bar. So they left all while Carrie left her very much half empty glass of porter which sat there like a person in a waiting room of their local GP with an appointment that was meant to be had hours earlier. Like the evening itself it sat there, disappointed and bored.

On the other side of the cocktail spectrum is the Pride Parade known as my theatre friends. When we are seen, it is like watching the pink elephants sequence from Dumbo with a handful of Hawaiian shirts and cardigans that have ‘Baby’ embroidered over the heart. It is at these functions that I get the upmost gossip. Because being one of two sober people at the bar means you hear EVERYTHING. Between cheating scandals, ex-boyfriend drama and finding out that you have been the cover-up for 5+ grindr hookups. Which is both unsurprising and the most surprising thing to happen to me in my entire life. So as Oblivion by Grimes played softly in the background and after being given out to because of our scream singing of Good Ones by Charli XCX, my friend who I will call Zoya started talking to total strangers who as it turned out were 28 and used to live in the same areas as us. So after she danced with them and after a about 12 shaky bathroom selfies, we sat down had shots and left. 

While this post has no proper connecting tissue besides the bar I feel like I needed to type it out anywhere besides my diary so there you go. The joys and trials of the bar loved by many, Pharmacia. 

[marcandthecity]

Grindr: Pig bottoms, underwear and therapy

Hi my name is Marc, I live in Ireland. To be more specific Limerick. On this blog I will be discussing the weirdest stuff I encounter almost daily. Today I will be discussing my recent venture into Grindr and the events that lead me to delete it. Grindr is a gay dating site that is mainly aimed at hookups and casual sex. 

Me being the idiot that I am thought, I am totally gonna get a boyfriend on this totally healthy and non toxic app where people are treated like fetishes. This adventure is split into 3 parts. All connected by one creepy user named ‘discreet fun’.

So my night began as most did, an episode of SATC and a cup of tea. That was until I heard the faint xylophone-like notification of Grindr. The sound made my heart leap from my chest so I grabbed my phone before my mother could see the notification. I opened the app to a message from a man who looked really nice in his profile and looked around a similar age to myself. So I responded to his “Hey, how are you?” with “I’m fine and yourself?”. The conversation continued at a perfectly natural pace until he asked for a picture of me in nothing but my underwear. But me being the not confident somewhat headstrong and not so put together person that I am refused. At this point I became concerned. and then it regressed even further when he said and I quote “You’d look good in my son’s underwear”. I started questioning him, how old he was, is he with someone else and how old was his son. Turns out his son is 13, he is cheating on his wife and is also 32. I blocked him on the spot and that’s when I got a text from another user aptly named ‘D***Pig’.

‘D***Pig’ is an icon, a legend and the moment. He started out with sending me a lovely picture of his mouth agape and I said, “No thanks not really interested tonight” and he asked me, why? I explained the whole situation with ‘discreet fun’ and being the icon that he is Mr. Pig decided he was gonna text him once he found the right account and send his details onto CPS because the more we thought about his son being 5 years younger than me and him thinking I would look good in his underwear the more disturbing the situation became. After a long 2 hours of texting me Mr. Pig went off on a hookup of his own and after I wished him luck and told him to stay safe he left.

About an hour later I got a text from an unnamed user who happened to be the same age as me so I was ecstatic. It turned out he wasn't out of the closet but wanted to hookup with someone his own age, so I considered it, until I remembered that thanks to incredibly homophobic laws of the country, that I couldn't be able to give blood if I did. So we flirted for a while, until I had to give him therapy. Turns out he had no friends that would support him if he came out and also had some issues with his parents and the same thing. So a few days after he went to hookup with someone in the City, but it turned out to be a friend of his from school, that had been openly homophobic towards others and this caused my new friend to cry his eyes out for hours. So two days later and after I explained to him my tale of woe with ‘discreet fun’, I called him as he cried to me about everything that happened to him and me on that god forsaken app. So we both made a pact to remain friends and delete that evil app.

So yeah I may not have hooked up with anyone on the app, or got a boyfriend like originally intended, I had one bad and two positive experiences on an app I loathe. I made one good friend and became acquainted with user “D***Pig” a user who I am so thankful I had the pleasure of conversing with. So I guess what I’m trying to say is while it is an AWFUL app, not everybody on there is bad. 

So this is a goodnight I guess. I hope you enjoyed this post!