Marcsburnerphones' body of work, or for better words a deep dive into her restless maladaptive daydreaming mind that she puts into words <3
John Price
ATWR (And They Were Roommates) - ongoing
synopsis: the captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6
part 7
part 8
part 9
part 10
part 11
part 12
Wish I Never Came - finished
synopsis: being johns wife has been full of security and safety and you never thought he’d be the one to taint that.
part 1
part 2
part 3
play dirty - one shot
based on this request
orange peel theory - oneshot
—----------------------
Simon (Ghost) Riley
Bars and Broken Hearts - oneshot
synopsis: The 141 minus john goes out for drinks and when johnny decides to throw simon a spontaneous bachelor surprise it goes left quickly.
—-----------------------
Sierra six (The Gray Man)
Sleepless - finished
synopsis: Sierra six was assigned by your uncle Donald Fitzroy to watch over your younger sister Claire and yourself, six finds himself taking a strong liking to you but he's strictly business. Can he keep that moral when he catches you in the act of pleasing yourself?
part 1
part 2
part 3
—---------------------
Tangerine (Bullet Train)
Lady At The Bar (unfinished)
synopsis: Tangerine was always sharp and dapper, intimidatingly classic man. He never found the time to experience romance of any sorts. Lemon begged him to get out there and if he found the right one and he empathizes the RIGHT one she would love him despite his work field. He found that to be absolute nonsense he believed there’d never be anyone for him till he found you.
Summary: the captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.
Warnings: angsty, hurt/betrayal, feelings of abandonment
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6- part 7 - part 8 - Part 9 - part 10 - part 11 - part 12 - part 13 - part 14- part 15!!!!!
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“You know I just don’t understand him sometimes.” ghost vents to soap as he walks through the halls back at base.
“He’s scared.” soap says understanding where their captain is coming from.
“Being scared isn't an excuse we’ve ever used before, he’ll lose her and we'll have to deal with it.” he says in a tone that suggests soap shouldn’t respond.
They pass by their captain's office with the door wide open. He sits there unpacking all the work that needs to be completed, the work that doesn't need to be done on base. Their eyes then travel to the military issued pillow and blanket that’s neatly folded at the corner of the couch in his office.
“No intentions on seeing the lass then I presume?” soap says stepping in as the ghost continues down the hallway not in the mood to see his captain.
“Not right now, i've got too much to get done.” he says in a tone that soap can't quite register.
“Why're you running?” he asks.
“I'm not running, I'm focusing on what needs my immediate attention.” soap clicks his tongue and sighs.
“Captain you and I both know that's far from the truth, at least give her a call, let her know you're okay.” he says while tapping the door frame before walking out.
The captain gives his phone a glance. Considering it but in the end decides against it and continues to drown himself in work.
—------
“I'm just worried sick.” you say into the phone, your newest friend and coworker who's also dating someone in the military hums in understanding.
“Have you tried calling the number one of his sergeants you called from?”
“No, I don't want to overstep John by calling him.” you say biting your nails, a recent habit you've picked up.
“How long has it been again?” she asks, wondering if the man you're talking about is someone her boyfriend knows.
“Nearly seven weeks.” you sigh out leaning your head against the cold countertop.
“Babe, I know it's hard, but you can't let it get to you like this, especially if you really see a future with him, and I know you do.” She's been a staple piece in your life during this time. It's easier to listen to her when you know she speaks from experience.
“I know I'll let you go though I just heard your front door open.” She laughs softly on the other end as no one other than her boyfriend greets her.
“Wait, what's the name of this guy? Let me ask caleb.” she offers.
“John price.” you hear her ask and can only hear her mumblings of him speaking before she starts talking again.
“Any news?”
“None you're going to like.” she says disappointedly and a little nervously.
“What?”
“According to Caleb he's been on base for nearly two weeks, and you definitely didn't mention him being a captain of his own task force.” she says with an impressed tone.
“Didn't know how much I was allowed to say.” you say it sadly, now wondering why he's avoiding you.
“Good girl, and don't worry until he gives you an explanation.” she can practically hear a million thoughts rush into your head.
“Okay i'll talk to you later, bye.”
“Bye babe.” she says with a click.
—---------
You spend the rest of that afternoon pondering on plenty of things, too many things. Were you overbearing? Is he regretting this? Had he realized you were as clingy as you said? All of it was a waste though cause like camilla said i won't know till he tells me.
Whenever that will be.
—---------
Week 8
“What are you still doing here john?” Lasswell says when she curiously pops into his office surprised to see him there.
“Just making sure I have everything straightened out.” he says, not making eye contact.
“It's been three weeks since your mission ended, no amount of paperwork would keep you here that long unless you didn't want to leave.” she says giving him some honesty.
“What's it with everyone feeling they have the right to my personal life.” he snaps sternly.
“Let's not get out of line, if you want to rot here I won't stop you but I won't let you lie to yourself either, you're scared and it's keeping you here like a cage.” she says in the same tone he offered her. “I'll be leaving now. I have a wife at home waiting for me.”
She shuts his door with a slight force. He sits there overwhelmed and tired. He stares at his phone wondering how you are and what you're doing and that's when he finally picks it up.
It's on its final ring when you answer.
“Hello.” you say in an unfamiliar tone.
“Hey sweetheart, it's john.”
“I know.” you tried not to be angry, key word tried.
“I just got back to base and-”
“Don't lie to me.” you say voice breaking a little.
“What're you talking about?” he says just digging the hole deeper.
“You've been back on base for weeks now.” he's silent.
“Am I wrong?” you say as a few tears slip from your eyes. How badly you had wanted to be wrong.
“No.” you hiccup slightly and just stay quiet.
“Who told you?” he asks, slightly frustrated.
“That's what you’re worried about?” you laugh, wiping your dampened face with the sleeve of your sweater.
“No its just-”
“I've gotta go john let me know if you need me to mail some of your clothes to base.” you say before hanging up.
John stands smacking the lamp on his desk onto the floor huffing out a couple of deep breaths. He could have kept this from you, saved you the hurt of his uncertain emotions but someone had to ruin that, let you hurt and guess why all alone, how long had you known for? At what point did you decide to just let him be? A knock sounds at his door and rips him from his thoughts.
“Captain, we heard the commotion and just wanted to see if you were alright.” Gaz says standing beside the two other men.
“Which one of you called her?” he asks deeply.
“What?” they say in unison.
“Which on of you fucking called her and told her we’d been back.” he asks again getting angrier by the second. Ghost silently prays soap hadn't done something that stupid.
“None of us have and you of all people should know not to bring your private life into work, for christ sake captain you need to figure this shit out.” ghost says before shutting his door.
“Johnny for god's sake tell me you did not do that.” he whispers as they descend slowly down the hallway.
“I didn't.” he admits honestly.
“Gaz was it you?” to which gas immediately shakes his head no.
“Then who the fuck was it?”
—-------
John tries your phone multiple times that night before deciding on being a big boy and going home to you. He packs his duffle bag and is on his way in no time. With a high speed he made it home in nearly an hour leaving the clock at 4AM.
He gets out of his truck quietly unlocking the front door and setting his stuff down in his room before making his way to yours. He tries opening your door till he realizes it's locked, which leads him to knock.
“My love it's me.” he says desperately. He gives a few more knocks, firmer ones, before he hears you rustle out of bed.
“Yes john?” you say sleepily as you open the door.
“I'm sorry I just-” he starts.
“Can we just talk about this in the morning I worked all day and i'm really exhausted.” you say carelessly cutting him off.
“Can I sleep with you?” at that you give him a weak laugh.
“If you can willingly, by choice, sleep on base for three weeks alone, you can go another night, goodnight john.” you say before softly shutting your door.
He stands there heartbroken at the clear hurt etched onto your face and heard in your voice.
February 13
In my dreams I wander my childhood home, I roam in and out of rooms that are unfamiliar to me now and look for certain artifacts that remind me of precise moments in time. At one end of the hallway I hear my parents arguing and at the other I hear my brothers playing video games to drown out the familiar noise. I walk into the room that was once mine, the one where I was just a girl. I get overwhelmed with grief the second I shut the door behind me, suddenly I'm encapsulated in the memories of laughter, tears and angst. I was so different, so willingly naive. I wish I could've lived in the unknown forever without the feeling of uncertainty, I'm sure I'd be happy.
Hey, I just wanted to say that whatever you’re going through, I hope you’re giving yourself kindness and time to heal. I understand outgrowing past work, but your stories are a part of you, even if they don’t reflect who you are now. Maybe, instead of selling them, you could set them aside for a while and see how you feel later. You don’t have to keep writing if it doesn’t bring you joy right now, but I hope you don’t give up on yourself as a writer. No matter what, I wish you the best.
Sending lots of love and positive energy, I truly hope you can come back one day and I hope this doesn’t come off as rude or forceful... But your stories have always been amazing as well as your writing.
You may delete this if you want but I just want you to know that I as well as other people believe in you and hope you are healing.
This gave me a completely different perspective, I wish I could thank you immensely personally, Thankyou so dearly anon <3
“Oh my god i’ve missed you!” your sister says as she gets into your car at the train station and although a piece of home has left it also feels like a piece has come home.
“Thankyou for coming.” you smile pulling her into an uncomfortable hug over the center counsel.
“Coffee and a good movie that perhaps includes phone time?” she says as you pull away.
“Good god you mastermind.” you two laugh while backing out of the busy parking lot.
“So tell me everything, like what the hell this is?” she asks while grabbing the photo strip of you and john you keep on your dash.
“That day we went to the winery and they have a really popular black and white photo booth.” She smiles at the way your eyes light up when speaking about him.
“You complement each other well.”
“Thank you, you’d love him, maybe when he gets back you could meet him.” The suggestion isn't one you'd ever see yourself making again after your last embarrassment of a boyfriend.
“Of course.” she says with a soft smile.
—-----------------------
“Do you think she’s okay?” John asks Simon who sits next to him on the foreign base.
“I do.”
“I wish I could call her already, just to be sure and shake this feeling.” He was told calls weren't permitted until clearance that the location they’re at is secured.
“Captain, she can handle herself, she's going to be fine and if this goes to plan we’ll be back in no time.” John just sighs, his breath making a cloud into the cold air. By no time Simon means a month, a whole thirty days without you, he might just die from heartbreak.
“You think you'll marry her?” Simon has always been one for deep conversation but it’s always random and spontaneous.
“Jesus son it hasn't even been seven months.” John says with an awkward laugh knowing he has an answer to the question.
“That's not what I asked the captain.” Simon replies.
“I'd be lucky to, I'd give everything to make that woman my wife, it’s just too soon, I don’t want to scare her off.” he says with a hopeless sigh.
“Time is an illusion, captain, don't wait forever.”
“What are you, A fucking poet?”
“Yeah.” They both laugh as Simon opens a pack of cigarettes offering one to John and grabs one from the pack for himself.
“Like I said if I'm lucky.”
“I think the perfect woman falling into your hands proves you're as lucky as it gets, i mean look at those idiots.”he says gesturing towards johnny and gaz who arm wrestle on a wobbly table.
“You're right.”
—----------------
The days have been stretched long, you think to yourself. It was good though, the distractions of shopping and hanging with your sister was nice and relieving but now it's four in the morning and she's fast asleep beside you and your eyes won't even shut for more than five minutes before the anxiety becomes too much.
It's been a long time since you’ve had a night like this and you don't wish to have many more but while johns away you most likely will.
You get out of bed quietly and head to his room to grab a shirt of his, anything to feel closer. Walking in you realize you and john are very rarely in here and dust collects on the clothing drawer you open.
“I've missed these.” you say pulling your favorite pair of undies from the bottom of his pajama shirt drawer wondering when he could've gotten them then it hits you, these are from the night of your first date, you laugh quietly before putting them back.
You pull the shirt over your head right then and there, discarding the one you had on before, leaving it somewhere on John's floor before heading back to bed.
“Where'd you go?” your sister mumbles, scaring the life out of you.
“John's room real quick sorry for waking you.” you reply in a whisper.
“Yeah I thought a man got into bed with me.” you figure you've become a little blind to how strong his cologne can be and apologize.
“Night.” you say before sliding under the duvet.
—-------------
“That was close too close, almost got caught.” John says very sternly to his task force who just returned from their first outing in this foreign country.
“But we didn't.” gaz says, and it's true was it close yes but there've been many other occasions just like it.
“But we were close!” The captain's booming voice makes them all fall silent.
“Next time I say to pull away you listen, do you understand, let me expect more from you.” he pointed at simon.
“Understood.” he says with a nod.
“I'll see you all in the morning.” the captain says before walking away and into his tent. The boys all spare eachother side glances before Johnny starts.
“He needs to get laid immediately.”
“He just has something to live for now I think and it's scaring him.” ghost replies and it's troubling him, because although he understands his captain has to get his emotions under control before this mission blows up in their faces.
“Go talk to him Lt.” Gaz says pointing towards where the silhouette of John is visible through the tarp of his tent. Simon gets up without another word walking to the tent asking if he could open it.
“What do you want?” John says to him, still agitated.
“Captain i understand your emotions are high right now you miss her and you're not allowed to call yet but understand we are soldiers and as a team we understand each other-”
“I'm the captain and I'm glad you understand each other but it's my job to understand the situation.”
“You're trying to understand the situation here and at home, and it's going to get us killed.” Simon says before leaving. John realizes then he has had his mind in two places and he can't afford that. Swallowing his pride he approaches the team who's still sitting where he left them.
“I apologize for my outburst, let's reread some files and figure out an action plan for tomorrow.”
—-------------
It's been nearly a week and not a sound from John, you're worried sick and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Your sister has a life to return to and you'll be alone with these thoughts for however long.
“Alright babe till next time.” she says hopping out of your car back at the same spot you picked her up from. You get out to help her get her extra bags that she acquired from shopping.
“I love you, call me when you get home.” you say giving her a big hug trying not to cry.
“Will do, love you.” you watch her board before leaving. You're back home before you know it, getting back basically on autopilot.. You decide to call it a night at six, the emotional baggage of the day and the possibility of going another day without speaking to John is enough to get you to sleep heavily.
And sure enough not only another day passes with no contact but another week goes by.
—------------
“Good job out there today, that was beyond successful.” John says, patting everyone on the back as they all file back into their temporary base.
“Hey captain, have you spoken to the little lass?” he was cleared his fifth day here to call home but simply hasn't.
“No I haven't.”
“Why not?” it takes soap by surprise, the captain went from being worried sick about you to not even mentioning your name.
“It's a distraction I can't handle right now.” Simon's ears pick up on this and he just shakes his head in disappointment, that man only ever hears what he wants to.
“Okay, she probably misses you though.” soap continues.
“Don't johnny.” the captain demands sternly leaving him to just walk away.
John misses you he does, so much so it makes him sick but he can't afford to think about you more than a little before it consumes his thoughts, what're you doing?Where are you?How are you?It's all too much.
He stares at the phone he was issued long enough to the point where he picks it up and dials your number and of course you answer first ring.
“John, good god hon i've missed you.” he doesn't say anything just listens to your voice fill his ears.
“John hello you there.” he stays silent trying to hold in this rush of sadness he hadn't expected.
“Johnnnnnn hello, i think your connection is bad or maybe it's mine.” he feels guilty for doing this to you, just like he gets the comfort of hearing you again you deserve that too but he just can't bring himself to speak, so he hangs up and sets the phone down leaving his tent to drown himself in work and whatever else there is to do.
—------------
The confusion and uncertainty that followed with the click of the phone was immense but there were no tears left to cry by now. You've just accepted the fact that he couldn't talk right now reminding yourself that you knew what you were getting into when he asked you to be his girlfriend or as he says it his partner.
—------------
Another week, then another passes
“He hasn't called, I'm just worried.” you say while on facetime as you fold laundry.
“Maybe it isn't allowed.” she says trying to comfort you by making that stupid face people make when they don't know what to say.
“But he told me he could, so I just don't get what changed you know, but maybe you're right, I just miss him.”
“And that's okay, it's healthy.” Since she's left, her phone is full with nothing but you and your rants about life, your day, how much you miss john.
“How long has it been now?”
“Four weeks going on five.” you sigh while getting up to put some clothes away in your closet.
“Well he'll be back soon hopefully, I got to go when my break is over.” she says while blowing you a kiss through the phone.
“Okay bye.”
—--------------
You're woken up at four in the morning the next night from your phone buzzing under your pillow, excitedly thinking it's John. You quickly grab it looking at the number and although it's similar in area code some numbers are different but nonetheless you answer.
“Hello.”
“Hey it's Johnny we’ve met. I'm a friend of johns.” soap says into the phone simon and gaz next to him listening.
“Hey is everything okay, is john okay?” you say in a bit of a panic.
“Yes yeah everythings okay we’re or I’m just calling to see how you are, make sure you're okay?”
“Yeah I'm fine are you?” You say a little mind boggled that Johnny is calling you before your partner.
“Yeah I’m well actually.” He says as if this is casual conversation.
“Johnny, why isn’t John the one calling me?” You finally ask, he doesn’t know what to say he looks at the two other men who shrug and are obviously thinking of what to say.
“I don’t know.” Gaz rolls his eyes and Simon pushes the side of Johnny's head at the obvious lie.
“Oh okay. If you can tell him I miss him and that I love him.” All their heads fall into their hands as the choke in your words is obvious.
“I will.”
“Is he avoiding me?” This hadn’t even been a possibility in your mind until right now.
“No, I'm sure he’s just um he’s just busy.” They hear the captain tent start to unzip.
“Okay lass got to go stay safe and do not ever tell the captain about this.” He says before hanging up without another word.
—————
“Who were you talking to?” The captain mindlessly asks as he approaches them sitting down beside Johnny.
“A little lass I met not too long ago.” Not a lie but not the truth.
“Okay, anyways Tomorrow should be our last day. We've got to secure one more piece of information then we’re out of here.”
“Excited to get home?” Gaz asks.
“Yeah but I’ll probably stay at the base a little longer to do these files.”
“Why?” Simon questions, wondering what childish excuse his captain will come up with.
“I’ll be distracted at home.” Simon stands without another word leaving into his own tent.
“What’s his deal?” The captain asks the other two remaining.
“Just being himself.” The captain nods even though there’s definitely more to it.
——————-
Thank you for reading, comments and reposts are immensely appreciated<3
“There’s our love stricken captain.” Gaz says as John finally appears through the heavy compound doors. As they all look at him it's very noticeable he’s in love, their captain looks well, the boys all assumed the bags under his eyes were permanent but looking at him they seem to be fully gone and all his features look brighter.
“Come on let's debrief.” is all he says while walking to his office, the three men immediately rise from where they were sitting and follow behind him.
“Pants looking extra snug captain.” soap mutters.
“Yeah it's called happiness son, ever heard of it?” John swifty jabs back, swinging the empty room door open.
“No, unfortunately I have not.”
“And stop looking at my ass.” John says while sliding manilla folders across the table as their hands each reach for one.
“Yeah Johnny, stop looking at the captain's ass.” gaz adds.
“I wasn't!” soap says flipping the folder open harshly.
“Back to business.” John says as he begins speaking through their plan of attack.
—------
“How’d the missus take it?” john likes the term simon uses to refer to you, gives him hope that one day you will be his Mrs.
“Good, at least that's what she made it seem like.” Simon reads right through the soft frown that covers his captain's face, it wasn’t easy for him.
“Did she cry?” Simon says as the both come to a halt scanning their access cards to the armory.
“A little, felt like a fucking bullet to the chest.”
“At least you know she actually likes you.” Simon was never good at comforting people but that outright made his captain laugh.
“Yeah at least, not like sharing moments of intimacy in our own world and exchanging words of endearment was enough.” John's smile creases at the side of his eyes as he lightly shoves Simon's shoulder.
—------------
Back at home you slept until late in the evening only waking up from your buzzing phone vibrating under your pillow. Not checking who it is because quite frankly you don't care, you press the phone to your ear with a sigh.
“Hello.”
“Doll?” you sit up looking at the name on your phone it’s an unidentified number then you realize immediately pressing it back to your ear.
“John!”
“Yeah, everything alright?” he worriedly replies.
“Yes I was just sleeping.” you say softly smiling tears already filling your eyes.
“Alone I hope.”
“Want a picture?” you say seductively.
“On this government issued phone? Absolutely.” He cracks a smile at the sound of your laugh, his task force stares at him like he’s a zoo animal, inspecting closely, especially the soldiers who don’t know him as anything apart from brutal.
“I'm actually calling to let you know I'll be on a helicopter for the next couple of hours and don’t know when I'll be able to contact you again.” he says, turning around to view the sunset, the same one he knows cascades your guys’ room in a beautiful shade of orange.
“Okay, stay safe, call me when you can, and I love you a lot and I don't even know what to say.” your charm travels through the phone like electricity and he just wants to kiss your face.
“I love you, keep safe till then. I left my card on top of the kitchen table for anything and everything. Please use it.” you sigh and he can practically see you shaking your head. He couldn’t promise his safety when he basically sold it once he began this occupation.
“John you slick man, you don't have to do things like that.” you say as the helicopter rotors start spinning.
“Yeah but I do, gotta go doll talk soon.”
“Bye hon.” With that he hears the click, biting the inside of his cheek as anxiety creeps its way up his neck, he’ll be far from you further than ever and can only pray for your safety instead of ensuring it and it makes him sick.
—-----------------
You moped, and good god was it humiliating, you'd been a single independent lady for years before meeting john but now it was like being put into an isolated home after living in new york city. There was nothing to do, you cleaned, cooked, painted but nothing was curing the pure ache of boredom and yearning.
The morning after his departure was single handedly the hardest, the weight of his body creased beside you, keeping you warm even in little clothes, his breathing that'd softly blow atop your head had not been there.
Still no call you disappointedly noticed when you hurriedly checked your phone when it had started buzzing, just a spam call you sigh rolling out of bed and heading to the bathroom.
“I should call my sister.” you say to yourself in the mirror with a small nod. Happily walking back to bed you dial the phone.
“Hey stranger, been a while.” she says with subtle amusement.
“It's been like four days?” you smile.
“That's a lifetime ago.”
“Want to come over, stay for a bit?” you ask for the first time in a long time.
“I don't kn-”
“Please.”
“Yeah, I'll try to catch the next train. Let me pack some clothes and I'll call you back.” when she hangs up you sigh in relief, nothing in this world could cure loneliness like spending time with her.
—------------
“So you’re trying to tell me YOU HAVEN'T HAD SEX!” soap exclaims.
“I didn’t say that I said I'm not disclosing my personal intimate life with you.” John says while huffing on a cigar tired of being in this goddamn helicopter with a four year old.
“Same thing.”
“Johnny shut up good grief.” Gaz says, rubbing his forehead in defeat when Johnny starts up again.
“You guys are so boring, how much time do we have left anyways.” he sighs out dramatically.
“An hour.” Simon replies.
“Oh so he speaks.” Johnny happily says looking at Simon with wide eyes waiting for a response. Pindrop silence overtakes the cabin.
“Baby i’ve got to go.” John whispers into your ear early in the morning, darkness still accompanying the sky.
“Hmm?” you say turning on your side, sleeping heavily considering you fell asleep a measly forty minutes ago.
“There's been a breakthrough on location and if we get there by tomorrow this mission might not be months again.” that wakes you up.
“Wait, so you're leaving right now.”
“Yes lovie.”
“No.” It's not what you meant to say but it's all you could have in the moment.
“What?” he says softly, brushing hair from your face as you sit up.
“I'm sorry I mean, I mean I wasn't expecting this.” you say trying to fight back whatever this feeling is in your throat.
“I know and I'm sorry.” John says as he intertwines his fingers with yours appreciating the efforts you are putting in to seem strong.
You realize as you fully come too that he's already dressed in his military attire, only lacking the heavy jacket. He looks handsome, yes extremely, but he also looks like he's about to slip from your grasp for god knows how long.
“I miss you and you're still sitting in front of me.” how you make a strong man weak.
“Oh love.” he says before resting his head on your chest basking in the feeling of your fingers snaking through the hair at the base of his neck, the feeling of home.
“You'll be back.” you say out loud but he knows you're talking to yourself.
“Are you sure you have everything you need?” you say as he sits back up looking towards the medium sized duffle bag that will hold everything he needs for the next while.
“If by everything you mean clothes, medicine and meaningless items, yes, I do.” But he seems to be leaving the most important part at home.
“Kay, I'll walk you out.” you're trying so hard not to cry, you knew it was coming, you're as prepared as you could be.
“Alright.” he stands offering you his hand as you slip off the bed.
He throws the heavy duffle over his shoulder as you follow him out wood floors creaking extra loudly because of his heavy boots, his shoulders surprisingly are slightly slumped which is not usual for john, he usually stands as straight as a board.
You slip on your slippers by the door and throw on his coat that hangs on the rack. He opens the door for you as you walk out into the chilly air waiting for him to join you at the bottom of the steps.
“Best behavior yeah?” your bottom lip softly trembles.
“In your dreams.” he smiles, bringing your lips to his, cusping your chin ever so softly, savoring the taste of you, the feel of your teeth and graze of your tongue. You're just trying to be present in the moment, you also should have known John gave one hell of a goodbye kiss.
“I'll probably have wet dreams about that kiss.”
“I'm glad that it induces those feelings.” he says before leaning in close to your ear “but remember they'll never be like the real thing.” he finishes with a kiss to your cheek standing tall again.
“I love you.” you say.
“I love you.” his voice does something akin to a shuttery breath.
“Call me when you can, yeah?” you say as a tear falls from your eye.
“Every second i get i will, i promise.” he says kissing you quickly one last time, the sun beginning to rise giving the sky a beautiful hue of purple.
“Bye john.” you say taking in a deep breath.
“Bye love.” he whispers before walking to his truck hopping in quickly, starting the engine and putting it in drive he sends you a wink and a smile before descending down the road.
You cry freely once he's out of sight grasping the side of your shirt that your hearts beneath, his cologne that lingers on the sweater wafts around you. Slowly you turn around heading back inside locking the door behind you. Slowly but surely you make your way into your bedroom throwing yourself down onto it praying for sleep to come back to you and suffocate you.
John makes it to the start of the highway before a tear slips from his eyes, that tear turned into one too many when he realizes he accidentally took your favorite lip liner that you left in his car from your last date. It's agonizing, he thinks but he's so grateful that you've given him a newfound reason and a strong motivation to make it home as quickly and safely as possible.
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trying to figure it out and if you're still here reading I love you beyond the moon and the stars<3
hi just wanted to let you know i'm currently recovering from surgery, in a lot of pain and your fanfics are making a world of difference in helping me ignore my pain
This means so much, if there’s any ideas for a fic you’d like to read let me know, wishing you a healthy and safe recovery!😙
Summary: The 141 minus john goes out for drinks and when johnny decides to throw simon a spontaneous bachelor surprise it goes left quickly.
Warnings: angst, betrayal, infidelity?, guilt, heartbreak, not a happy ending, alcohol consumption, lmk if I’m missing anything.
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“Well I think you should go.” you say to your fiance who's currently trying to back out of plans he promised to attend with his mates, again.
“Why can't you just beg me to stay isn’t that what you’re are supposed to do.” he says in a whine although with a gruff voice like his only you could pick up on the slight change.
“And hear Johnny complain in my ear the next time I see him cause you’re never out of the house, yeah no thanks.” you say while stirring honey into your cup of tea. You can practically feel the holes his eyes are burning into your skull.
“You know they are always up to no good when we go out.” he says in a condescending tone.
“I trust you.” he has never given you a reason not to.
“You should they’d never let anything come between us, they love you more than me.” he says while slowly approaching you from the back planting a firm kiss to your cheek.
“So you’ll be attending then?” you say gleefully.
“Yeah, just this once though, gives me leeway to say no next time.” you laugh softly, simon and his thought out plans to get out of leaving home.
“I'll drop you off, don't look too good.” you say turning around, he gives you a strong kiss on the lips, tangling his large hand into your hair as his other hand squeezes gently at your ass groaning roughly as he hikes your thigh onto his waist.
“Yeah, nice try.” you say pushing him away reluctantly.
“Sure you don’t want me to stay?” You do want him to stay.
“I’m sure.” he groans, walking off into your shared bedroom carelessly pulling a black shirt and pants off a hanger, nearly snapping them.
You laugh to yourself taking a seat onto the couch as he noticeably makes his steps extra heavy on his way to the bathroom. You patiently wait for him, swiping mindlessly through social media.
“Right, I'm ready.” his voice slightly startles you and he quickly softens his attitude.
“If you would’ve kissed me looking like this i might’ve just kept you in.” you sigh into his mouth pulling him down for a kiss.
“Later I arrive, the later I leave, let's go.” you drive him to a pub not too far from your home. His hand squeezes at your thigh the whole way there until you arrive.
“I'll see you in a bit, I love you.” the corner of his mask lifts slightly.
“Better not be late for me doll, I love you more by the way.” he says while shutting the door waving you off.
—----------
“Aww where’s the lass?” Johnny questions still mostly sober.
“At home she said she’ll join next time.” Simon lies, you hate babysitting three 200 pound plus men after a long night.
“Tell her I promise to not empty my stomach in her car next time, I swear it.” soap says while ordering a round of shots.
“Like she’d believe that after the past TWO times.” Johnny looks remorseful as Gaz laughs then gags remembering what it was like to sit in the backseat with him.
“I feel like we're going to get into some trouble tonight.” Johnny says while downing his third shot early into the night.
“When is a night with you not trouble?” gaz says to the two men smiling widely.
“When is a night with me not fun you mean.” Johnny says with a devilish smirk.
“Chaos you mean?.” Simon quips.
“All of those sound like a good time to me.” Johnny says while waving down the bartender again.
—------
“You’ll be approaching married life soon.” Johnny says with slightly slurred speech.
“Indeed I will.” It makes a tipsy drunk Simon smile as he lifts the bottom of his mask to take a swig of the whiskey in his glass.
“Think you’ll be having little ones running around soon?” gaz asks, he could see the big scary ghost with a daughter or two. Simon smoothens his mask before talking.
“Maybe, me and miss talk about it sometimes but nothing ever too serious, she’d make a great mum though.” The boys love just how in love he is with you.
“Will you name one of em after me?” Johnny asks.
“Funny joke mate.” They all laugh.
“Lass we’ll take another round.” heads snap towards him.
“Johnny!” Both simon gaz exclaim their nearly 8 shots in each and a couple of other drinks the result of tonight's starting to sound like alcohol poisoning.
“What’s wrong with a little fun once in a while.”
—---------
“I miss my wife.” Simon says, eyes glossed over and a severe need to taste your mouth.
“Will we be throwing you a bachelor party?” Simon scoffs.
“This is my bachelor party, enjoy it.” Johnny groans at his awfully boring best lad.
“I have to take a piss be back.” Johnny says, excusing himself. Gaz and simon give each other a look knowing full well he went to the mens room less than ten minutes ago.
“What’s that about?” Gaz asks.
“Don't know but ima text the missus to come save me.” Simon says whipping out his phone instantly happier by the picture of you on his lock screen.
After sending you a quick text he agrees to one more round as Johnny rejoins, what he doesn't notice is as he tossed his head back Johnny slipped his phone into the back pockets of his jeans mistaking it for his own.
“Why do you look like that?” Gaz questions the mischievous smirk on Johnny's face.
“No reason.”
“Oh no johnny what’d you do.'' They follow his eyeline as a woman, definitely a hooker walk from the hall where the bathrooms are definitely heading towards them.
“Hey boys.” she says, running a hand down Simon's chest.
—----------
You’ve tried simons phone nearly six times now and nearly circled this block three times to let him know you’re here. You call once more groaning loudly as the voicemail starts once again. You search the busy street for parking, getting lucky as a car pulls out from the front of the pub.
You step out into the chilly london air not caring to pay for parking this shouldn't be long anyways. It's busier than you’d ever seen it, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself considering you're in thin pajamas, Simon emits too much heat to sleep in anything else.
Finding your way to the bar knowing where they usually sit you keep your eyes peeled for him excited to get him home and finish what he started earlier. That's until you see him. You see her first actually, snaking her hands around the back of his clothed head where yours were merely hours ago. His eyes are pointed towards her breast as she puts on quite the show, grinding slowly on his lap, flicking her tongue out onto his cloth covered ear. Simon’s hazed eyes are seeing you, like a dual reality that goes back and forth between a random woman and the woman he loves. Words are unable to leave your mouth so you stand there in utter horror until reality catches up to you.
“Simon.” your voice comes out in a whisper as the three men's heads turn towards you. The woman who looked like she’d been having a good time on Simon's lap also looks towards you, then the ring on your finger. The three of them had never become sober so fast in their lives.
“Oh god.” you feel sick, turning around quickly and bee lining for the door as your eyes tunnel vision.
“Get off me.” Simon says awfully harshly as Gaz looks disappointed towards johnny.
He’s after you in seconds, strides long and quick. You're at an arm's length when he tries to pull you back but misses by a thread. Times moving in slow motion for the both of you and this pub has never been so large.
“Wait, I swear that wasn't what it looked like.” His deep and loud voice causes the other patrons to look your way. Gaz and Johnny are steps behind him as he rushes as quickly as he can.
When the outside hits you, so do the tears. Your hand grips weakly at the spot of your shirt above your heart. It feels like the wind has been knocked from you and the world is crumbling around you.
“Love i swear-” you turn around quickly slapping him across the face. It stuns you but not him; he simply looks back towards you.
“Deserved that.”
“Lass it was a dumb joke i thought id-”
“You were supposed to have my back, you guys are like my brothers, is this how it is everytime you come out?” a sob racks through you as they all visibly watch your heart break.
“It's not like that.” Simon tries to calmly explain.
“I'm leaving.” you say slowly walking backwards towards your car getting in quickly and locking the doors before your fiance can try the handle.
“Love, just listen to me i didn't know what was going on.” he shouts through the window as you start pulling out and speeding off as soon as possible.
“I’ll fucking kill you.” he yells to johnny.
“I don't know what I was thinking.” he admits as his drunk actions hit his sober self.
“You need to get a ride home now.” gaz says walking into the street to hail down an overly expensive taxi.
Simon gets in it immediately telling the man your address and slipping him a few extra hundred for speed. His breath is rapid matching the racing pace of his heart. The two other men watch as he leaves.
“You’re so fucked mate.” Gaz says to an already guilty looking johnny.
—--------------------
Simon nearly tears off the door handle as he exits the car almost two homes ahead and runs there instead. He’s fumbling keys until he realizes you’ve left the door unlocked. Instantly he's searching for you, panicked and in a hurry to soothe your aching heart.
He goes to reach for your shut bedroom door only to realize it's locked. He knocks rapidly once then twice.
“Love let me explain. I swear it's not what it looked like.” he leans his head against the door as you silently cry on the other side.
“Don’t do this to yourself.” wrong choice of words but he meant well.
Before he knows it you're throwing the door open.
“To myself!” you yell as loudly as you can, shoving your hands into his solid chest.
“That's not what I meant.” he says, removing the mask.
“We’re engaged Simon, we were going to get married in a few months.” you cry turning around trying to slam the door on him.
“Were ? No, let me explain.” he says, catching it with the toe of his boot.
“I don't want to hear it, go tell it to whoever that woman was.” you’re infuriating he wants to scream but he knows all hell would break loose had he caught you in the same position.
“Johnny had hired her, I had no idea.” he gets out as quickly as possible.
“And you let her dance and lick on you and hold you the way I hold you.” the disgust on your face as you look at him cuts deeper than any knife.
“I was drunk.” he even thinks that sounds disgusting.
“Cheap fucking excuse.” you say going into your closet grabbing all your clothes and throwing it onto the bed.
“What’re you doing?” it's hushed and laced with panic.
“Leaving.”
“Like hell you are.” he says quickly, fighting to pull what's in your hands out of them. You’re unwilling to give up at first, grip tighter than ever but he would always win. You fall to the ground and let go. Crying from hurt and frustration. He drops to his knees to meet you on the floor.
He scoops you into his chest as closely as possible, it hurts that you don’t clutch onto him like you normally would. You Are stiff in his arms so visibly uncomfortable. He wants to cry too, he knew he shouldn’t have gone out there's no need when your heart is at home.
“Let go of me.” you say weakly.
“Lets talk.” he says, loosening his grip on you watching as you scurry backwards.
“Nothing you say can make this better.” you admit leaning your head against the wall behind you.
“It wasn't my idea or choice, my love I was wasted.”
“I was waiting outside for you, calling over and over again but you were just too busy being entertained by another woman, how fucking dare you.” you say quietly but firmly.
“I know I fucked up but we cant throw this away just cause one mishap.” he says trying to inch closer to you.
“I would’ve never done that to you.” you say as tears stream smoothly down your reddened cheeks.
“I know.” how does one forgive an action like this he wonders.
“Please get out.” you say through stuttered breaths.
“Love-”
“Simon, get out or I'll leave.” He rises to his feet in an instance beginning to very slowly make his ways towards the door.
“Hey simon.” you say and his name sounds so rare on your tongue since you've met him he's always been riley or love.
“Yeah.” he says, approaching you crouching down slightly. You reach out, grabbing his hand and placing something into his palm before closing it.
Simon slowly opens his hands fearing what he already knows is there and utterly cringes inside when he sees your ring.
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excited but ready for a little criticism, be easy on me I'm barley getting familiar with the character.
Summary: the captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.
Warnings: kissy kissy, a little tinsy bit angsty, flirtatious banter, they're going through it in their own ways.
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6- part 7 - part 8 - Part 9 - part 10 - part 11
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You painted small calculated strokes of warm blues and vibrant pinks. No design or carefully articulated picture simply two beautiful contrast colors dancing around each other. You keep on at this for what feels like minutes but ends up being hours. As you mix the two colors in the corner of the canvas and watch the purple hue they create, the sun also greets the ceiling in John's room. It startles you at first then you realize at least you made it through the night. You sit back yawning quietly, your eyes finding their way to John's sleeping form.
“I can feel it when you stare.” you smile softly, something that comes naturally at the sound of his voice.
“That's why I do it.”
“Yeah?” he asks, turning on his back before reaching to prop a pillow up behind his head.
“Yeah.” he admires through his sleepy gaze. You look sad, it fucking kills him. His head then turns further to the left to catch a glimpse of your work.
“Looks nice, just color though?” he asks in a whisper.
“Yeah I don't know, it just felt right.” you shrug, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth.
“Come ere’” he says, reaching out to you and lifting the covers.
You stand carefully placing the brushes and pallet onto the floor furthest from the bed before crawling in beside him. He smells of sleep and john. It's a heavenly scent, something close to pheromones it draws you in so close that you want to crawl inside his skin.
“You know i’ll miss you just as much, I fear even more actually.” he rubs a comforting hand over your back as his deep voice reverberates in his chest.
“Impossible.” you muster up trying to keep your voice from shaking.
“Only impossible thing is making this easy,” he admits. He feels the stutter in your breath as you try to keep yourself from crying. This is scary, scarier than eight guns being pointed at his chest and head. Death doesn't scare John Price, hurting you does.
“When I return we should go on a vacation somewhere on the coast.”
“We should.” you look up at him and his too perfect lips and too perfect nose and eyes.
“Don't look at me like that.”
“Like what?” you say in an innocent tone.
“Like you’re trying to tell me you’ll be my destruction.” you laugh, laying your head on his chest hearing the quick pace of his heart beat.
“You should rest your eyes for a little.” he says worried about the fact that you slept for less than four hours last night.
“Will you stay with me?”
“Always.” he says, running his thick fingers through your hair and down your back. His ways of comforting you are more physical he thinks he knows how to use his body more than his words so he smooths the wrinkles in your bedtime shirt as in to say ‘i’m here for you’ and he swipes the hair out of your face to say ‘don’t worry your pretty head’ and squeezes your bum to say ‘i’m a man of morals, but still a man’.
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“Wake up love.” John says softly into your hair before leaving a kiss on your forehead. You groan in annoyance and feel the smile that now rests on his lips.
“What? it's nearly noon and your phone is buzzing in the kitchen.” your eyes slowly open as you flip to face the opposite way.
“How can you even hear that?” you say in a groggy tone.
“I’m not that old.” you laugh smacking at the hand that squeezes your hip.
“You know that's not what I meant.” you say sitting up slowly stretching as your arms rise to the ceiling.
“You’re unbelievably gorgeous, how’d I get so lucky?” you turn your head to look at him, a rosy blush on your cheeks.
“Oh stop being such a flirt.” you say getting up from the bed and heading out of the room.
“So you just leave me here.” he slightly shouts from the bed. He hears your footsteps halt and turn around. You walk back into the room giving him a quick kiss then pulling him up with all your might.
“There you go.” he says standing on his feet.
“I forgot you need assistance to get out of bed.” he laughs from deep within his chest pulling you back against his front to kiss at your neck. You two walk down the hallway, he stops in the kitchen and you leave to go search for your phone in the living area.
“Aha here it is.” you say holding the small device up in victory. It strikes his heart here and now that in less than another twenty four hours his morning will look nothing like this and the sound of your laugh will be mere motivation.
You make your way back to him dialing back the call from this morning which to no one's surprise is your sister. You gleefully sing a goodmorning into the phone knowing full well that it's the afternoon.
He starts the coffee pot before giving you another quick kiss and heading into his office. It's only then he lets a tear slip, a foolish show of weak emotion, but it just happens to be from the strongest feeling he has ever encountered, love.
Its soul gripping and head spinning. It makes his heart mush, you make his heart mush yet his will strong. You’re a distraction but one he gladly invites into his already busy mind. You poke and prod at a military machine, you’re everything he’s prayed for and more than he ever expected. You even scare him.
“John?” you knock for the fifth time a little concerned.
“Yes darling, come in.” he says quickly, clearing his voice.
“Are you okay?” you ask, holding a warm cup of coffee.
“Yes, just thinking.” you set it softly on the coaster you had given him when you realized the water stains popping up all over the surface.
“Thankyou.” you nod, reaching your hand out to cup his chin. You give him a slow soft kiss, one on the lips then one to his cheek before leaving.
You’ve noticed when he works he tends to be more serious and quiet therefore you don't think too much but that doesn't mean it's not resting in the back of your mind. You shut the door softly and go on about your day.
—-------
just a glimpse into their relationship before John departs.
i've missed you guys terribly sorry for my long absence<3
