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@margsmargs
"there are critical things I feel like I need to impart to my stepchild. his father teaches him unimportant things like 'do your math homework' and 'how to protect yourself' and I'm like 'don't forget when you kill your spouse to grind their teeth up first'" - my meta with some Life Lessons ™️
Specifically *if you are planning to get rid of the body by feeding it to pigs*
Pigs can't digest teeth. It's important to teach your stepkids that teeth are not just bones.
I'm not dead
Kay Sage.
Even if you don’t like Halloween you have to appreciate its position as the sole thing keeping Christmas from advancing even earlier into the year like a cancerous growth
The goth kids hold the line.
nobody likes the “bad boys” who insult and degrade their partners while wearing pastel polos with popped collars, people like REAL bad boys who wear leather jackets and take a lot of care in how they shape their pompadour and carry around stiletto switchblades and care about their communities and ride a motorcycle and rebel against the government and says stuff like “NOBODY insults my gal” and gets in fistfights with dudes who catcall their girlfriends. THOSE bad boys are the guys everyone wants.
We want the boys society says are bad, not actually bad boys
Classic bad boys went against the mainstream masculine society of their time. They embraced attributes that were considered girly: longer hair, use of hair products, appreciation in their appearance, enjoyment of art and music. They rebelled against the notion that as soon as you left high school you needed to work a respectable job, get married, and have 2.5 children. They were bad because they didn’t follow what society said a man should be, and that’s why it was attractive
the inevitable conclusion
So 2016 is SO bad that it made the creator of this meme give us an alternative version of “This is Fine”.
ghostbusters are always like who are you gunna call? ghostbusters! but it’s hard enough to call the doctor’s office i’m not gunna call the ghostbusters i’d just live with a ghost in my house forever
who you gunna call? no one i have anxiety
top 5 plastic chairs i'd love to die in
number 1
number 2
number 3
number 4 and 5
effie and sophie love bubbles
Lucy Sparrow’s Handmade Felt Supermarket, The Standard DTLA
Now through August 31, 2018
Photo credit: Michael Anthony Hernandez
(via Colossal)
squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Humans love shiny things.
No, seriously, look around you next time you’re in a building and count the number of things that are shiny even thiugh they do not need to be shiny.
Humans are naturally attracted to any thing that shines, shimmers or glitters— I mean for fucks sake, we invented glitter. There are people right now who work in glitter factories and so whose sole job is to make shiny things for people to put nonshiny things so as to make them shiny.
We paint our nails and faces with glittery varnishes and shimmery powders. We use gloss on our lips to make them shinier. We shine our shoes to make ourselves look smart. We have been known to start fucking wars over who owns the bits of land with the shiny rocks in. Genocides have been commited and kingdoms toppled because one group had a lot of shiny metals and the other group wanted those shiny metals.
Why, then, do we all like shiny things so much?
Well, scientists now think that it’s probably because we evolved in a desert. If you’re living in a desert, then you’re going to need to be constantly be on the lookout for water, and water shines in the sun. So the best way to survive in a desert environment is to just chase after everything that shines because it might be water.
So now imagine how weird this would all be to a species who didn’t evolve in a desert.
Imagine aliens just being baffled by the human habit of wearing certain rocks— or even just pieces of glass or plastic cut to look like those rocks— just because we like the way they catch the light. Imagine aliens who come from worlds where there are a lot of shiny rocks bringing them back for their human friends to see and watching, puzzled, as said human friends start wearing the rocks around their necks, wrists, fingers or even (weirdly) stuck through special holes they make in their ears.
“Thank you so much! These are beautiful!”
“I literally just scooped up some of the gravel from the spaceport— how are you so amazed?”
Imagine caves on alien planets full of crystals and gems becoming huge tourist attractions for humans, and the aliens not understanding why because, on their planet, pretty much the only people who go to the caves are school groups and geologists. The caves are boring— why do the humans keep taking photos of a load of old rocks?
We complain that Magpies are obsessed with shiny things and keep stealing our shiny things but that just shows how crazy we are about protecting our shiny things
Also imagine that some alien species that really likes, I dunno, textures or really subtle striations or something, going apeshit over our gravel and shit
We trade rocks with our new friends!
Mood
Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings
This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where???? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”
Great! How do I uninstall it?
“great! how do i uninstall it?” carries the same vibe as “thanks! i hate it” but more ACTIONABLE bc we gettin our shit together in 2k18
