[thecozyspace]

https://www.facebook.com/TheCozySpace

[satcgifs]

[elektranatchios]

“A rush. A glance. A touch. A dance. A look in somebody’s eyes to light up the skies, to open the world, then send me reeling. A voice that says I’ll be here, and you’ll be alright.”

La La Land (2016), dir. Damien Chazelle

[youthcub]

[mariacalkinss]

September 11th, 2016. This date is rather important. Today, in 2001, is the day that a tragic/ horrific attack happened in New York City. I still remember when I was sitting in my 2nd grade class room and my teacher stepped out for a moment and saw the fear in her eyes when finding out the news. I was only 6 years old but I knew what fear looked like. I remember coming home to the new being on and it staying on throughout the night. I don’t think I really understood what happened until a few years later. I was only 6 years old. To this day I pray for the family’s that were effected in that horrific event. Every September 11th since that day… I have taken my hour of silence for everyone that was involved. My blog post isn’t going to be about that. I was in middle of reading “The Girl on the Train’’ by Paula Hawkins. I was laying on my nicely made bed, the windows were open because it’s a nice breezy 72 degree day. I also had my new berry pumpkin strudel candle burning on my night stand. Over all, I felt pretty content with how things were. I realize that this ‘’hopeless’’ feeling wasn’t lingering upon me anymore. Let me explain. The past month and half I’ve dealt with loss and realization of loss. Most importantly I realized that over the past two years I lost who I was. I was faking ‘’happy’’. Yes, during the time I thought I was happy… but I wasn’t. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t recognized myself every time I looked into the mirror. Not just physically but emotionally as well. I was lost who I was. I was holding my own self back. I was at a low plato in my life. I felt like I wasn’t doing anything. I was just staying the same if not lowering who I was. The only person I can blame for this feeling is myself and only myself. I was getting to comfortable with the life I was in and not stepping out of the box. I was isolating myself from people who brought out the best in me. I started to blame myself for everything. Over the past month and half I’ve been trying to re-teach myself how to live for, well, myself again. It hasn’t been easy. Honestly, it’s kinda hard to be selfish sometimes. I noticed sometimes this month I was putting effort into people and situations that did not matter. Things that were bring me down. I was looking for reasonings as to why I was giving these situations so much of my energy but not putting that energy to making myself happy, rather than someone or something else. So I started leaning away from these things. Then today happened. I woke up, I went and got my cold brew with soy milk, I went to church by myself, bought some lunch, the spent the rest of the day listening to music/ reading/ watching some interviews. Just now, I mean literally 30mins ago, I stepped outside and took a deep breath and couldn’t help but get chocked up. I realized I’m happy. I realize I’m happy. Not every day is going to be like this… with the moments of “realization of happiness’’ and that’s okay. I’m so ready for this journey of happiness. I was able to let go of what happened within the past few months. I was able to realize that none of that matters, all the bad times. What has happened over the past year have sculpted me into someone who I’m in love with. I’m in love with myself. That’s where it all starts, with yourself. You are not living your life for your friends. You’re not living your life for your family. You’re not living your life for anyone EXCEPT YOU. When that realization hits you… the positive energy and people will flock to you. All of it will come to you. Happiness is not a destination, people. It’s a fucking journey. A messed up, exciting, scary, wonderful, crazy journey. It’s up to you on how decided to waste it. I mean waste it in the best way possible. Find people who will support you. Most importantly, support yourself. You deserve to love yourself. Your life is for you, not them. xo -Maria

[vscogold]

[mariacalkinss]

This is probably one of the hardest things I've done but I'm doing it. I'm always wearing makeup. I'm always posting only selfies of myself wearing the perfect amount of makeup. This morning I woke up with breakouts and redness all over my face. So I decided to take a selfie. Whether you're wearing makeup, not wearing makeup, have clear skin, have breakouts you should know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. One of my biggest fears is being judged. I always felt/feel like I have to please people or act/look a certain way a certain way for people to like me. This has gotten me to where I would let people walk all over me and I was putting so much effort into people that I forgot what made ME happy. Slowly but surly I'm working on making a better life for myself. Not for anyone else. It took me a good half hour debating whether or not to post these makeup-less selfies. Maybe I might inspire someone to do the same? But as for now I'm doing this for me. I'm learning to love my imperfections rather than hate them. I'm learning that it's okay if I don't have the same opinion as the next person. I'm learning that I should love people for who they are. I'm learning that it's okay to have bad days, not every day will be perfect. I'm learning that forgiveness is bigger than holding grudges. I'm learning to live this life for myself and no one else. I'm learning that happiness is a journey... Not a destination. With that being said... My goal for the up and coming school year is to stay humble, to be kind, and spread positivity. Thanks for reading.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

You Are Not My Responsibility

Can we talk some more about how guilt tripping someone for not being interested in you is a really shitty thing to do? Look, I’m sorry you’re lonely or depressed or  whatever. Those are bad things and having to deal with them isn’t fun. But I am not responsible. It is not my job to sacrifice my autonomy to make you feel better. Your attraction to me does not make your well-being my responsibility. And to use your unhappiness as a tool to coerce me into a relationship or a sexual situation that I’m not comfortable with is abusive and wrong.

Anybody who’s had to put up with this kind of emotional manipulation - you deserved better. You always deserve better. And you aren’t wrong to say no.

[kapa20]

[minimalroomdecor]

@minimalroomdecor follow for more•

[classymenswear]

[mariacalkinss]

Tonight.

Tonight I drove around with my best friend, speeding, blasting music from when we were 18, with the windows down. Tonight I felt something I haven't truly felt in a very... very long time... Free.

[starwars]

Jedha is cast into the shadow of Death Star.

[fashionsensexoxo]

[wgreros]

[mariacalkinss]

Just an Idea.

If you were just an idea…. Would I of taken you out to your favorite places? Would I of made sure every birthday/holiday was special? Would I of posted endless photos of us? Would I of picked up your 3am phone calls when you needed someone to talk to? Would I have constantly try to convince certain people that you were more that your “look”? Would I of tried to calm you down to make sure your panic attacks didn’t get the best of you? Would I of stuck with you when you had the stomach flu when I knew I would get it? Would I of gone to family events for you? Would I of supported you with your dreams and ambitions even if they weren’t “realistic” to some people? Would I of talked about like you were the greatest thing to ever exist? Would I of apologized for every argument we got into and blamed myself? Would I of let my insecurities get the best of me and let you talk to all your past lovers? Would I of let you tell me how you still feel like you have connections with certain women & be okay with it? Would I of put effort into becoming on good terms with your past because I knew you were stuck in it? Would I of pushed past our arguments because I knew we could do anything? Would I of stuck around for 2 years?

If you were just an idea…. Why would I still be hurting so much/ missing you and you could not give one single shit about me?

If you were just an idea I would have left two years ago.

You weren’t my idea, you were better.

[mariacalkinss]

Selfie! Selfie! Guys I need to updates you with my life because it’s been awhile. The past few weeks were probably some of the hardest weeks that I’ve ever experienced. I went through a really nasty break up with a man I’ve been with for 2 years. I kept putting all the blame on myself and STILL caring about what he was doing. I was focusing so much on him and his happiness that I was losing who I was… It takes two to start and end a relationship. We both did things and both said things that showed we need some much needed time apart. I will say that he was my best friend up until we split. He will always have a major place in my heart and I wish nothing but happiness and love for him. Moving on from that… I noticed that I gained 25 NEW FOLLOWERS on my snapchat!! Guys this is so incredible because I didn’t realize people wanted to listen to what I have to say! I want to create more content and really focus on creating great blog posts :) I feel like I’m back into the swing of things and I’m ready for the rest of 2016!! Remember the only person that you are committed to for the rest of your life is YOURSELF. Make sure your happiness is there before you focus on making someone else happy! Stay humble, be kind.