Ship Without a Rudder

I'm just a girl | cxh

[marielxhearts]

Hey Mariel! What's your favorite Paramore song/songs? Mine are Misguided Ghosts,Brighter and Future!

Right now, the news!

[marielxhearts]

Whatever you do, don't stop. I read your letter to yourself and it honestly made me tear up. Don't ever stop loving and trying for that. You will find someone that will make you feel like you've never felt before and will reciprocate the love you give. Do not stop writing and playing music. You are an inspiration. I don't know you at all personally but I do know that you inspire people and you make people happy with your music. Just keep on pushing, you are bound for great things.

Belated thank you. I had to tap out of my mentions and left tumblr to rot in the wake of what happened. I accidentally logged in to read someone's article, and here we are. I really appreciate this message.

I am still making music. Candy Hearts has something up their sleeve, and I have a new solo album with Best Ex!

[marielxhearts]

How are the new songs coming along? oh it's nice to see that you're happy :)

I just released my first solo album! It's called 'With a Smile' by my artist name, Best Ex.

[marielxhearts]

hey mariel. sounds like things are really rough for you right now. i don't know if this will help, but i just want to let you know that candy hearts is my favourite band. your music is amazing and has gotten me through a lot. and honestly you're such a huge inspiration to me, i've met you a couple of times and you're such a cool and nice person (and put on great live shows!). i really hope things look up for you super soon

I know i'm responding years too late, but thank you for this message. I wish I had seen it at the time, but I had to avoid my messages because they were filled with so much abuse.

[marielxhearts]

i love you so damn much. you are really brave

Thank you. I really feel like I'm scared of absolutely everything these days. Even still. I guess trying to heal isn't linear.

[marielxhearts]

thank you for shareing your story :) makes me feel alot less alone

I hope things have gotten better for you <3

[marielxhearts]

I’m so sorry what happen to you. I don’t understand why people are mean to others, especially to a woman. Fuck that guy. I’m sure you get lost of shit just because you are a woman, and that sucks. You just have to keep your head up, and keep kicking ass out there. For every dipshit out there, there are thousands of people that have your back.

I wish I saw the thousands of people at the time. Thank you for being here in my mentions when I needed it. Even though no one uses Tumblr anymore, all this stuff still does get me down. <3

[marielxhearts]

Don't let anybody else destroy your dreams. You deserve your success. You deserve to tour. You're an artist who deserves their work to be published and seen by as many people as wants to see it. Never let anybody knock you down. You want this, your fans want this and it is going to happen.

Thank you! It's really hard not to let things get me down, but I keep trying. I just released my first solo record!

[marielxhearts]

What do you have to say about your abusers counter response? Do you have witnesses that can attest to his?

I think time has proven what was and wasn't true. He no longer works in the touring industry for a reason—and not because of me. I'm still here, however. Beyond that, Alternative Press removed his article after I showed them verifiable evidence of falsehoods (but they did not print a retraction which I'm still to this day wishing for, since their falsehoods remain very prominent on the internet when you google my name).

And for the record, *saying* someone is a witness is not the same thing as having an actual witness. People can say whatever they want. And absolutely none of those people he named and made up quotes for came forward. Again, for a reason.

It's all straight out of the DARVO textbook. Especially weaponizing a mental illness your victim doesn't even have (but fans reading his response very well could, and could feel shame for it).

I hope with how the world is now people finally understand this. I was shamed and harassed out of touring , and it took years for me to release music again and try to move forward. For a long time, I felt like I had ruined my career. I still receive abusive comments. I still am haunted by the repercussions of being the sort of woman who tries to stand up for herself and do the right thing in an industry that largely protects the men who do wrong.

[marielxhearts]

I commend you for your bravery in speaking out in a scene that has severe misogynistic propensities. As female who plays punk music and who has had an abusive altercation with a man in another "relatively renowned band," I feel afraid of the drama and blame that speaking out would incur. I just wanted to tell you that I believe you and I am sorry that this happened to you. What are you doing to keep yourself feeling safe? How are you taking care of yourself?

Thank you for your support. After all these years, it's still really painful. I still think about it every time I go out and play shows.

[marielxhearts]

Prob won’t see this but your band has helped me a lot in so many ways. Your new best ex single is amazing you’ve floored me. I’ll always be a fan can’t wait to see what you do next.

Thank you so much. This really means a lot.

[allthewaystodisappear]

the signs as candy hearts songs

the best ways to disappear & all the ways you let me down edition

aquarius: ticklish virgo: replacement parts leo: top of our lungs scorpio: all the ways you let me down taurus: michigan gemini: miles and interstates pisces: the one to get me out aries: fool’s gold cancer: something’s missing libra: matchbox cars sagittarius: the dream’s not dead capricorn: sick of it

[marielxhearts]

This made me smile so hard

[rosaliezack]

[marielxhearts]

I think it’s absolutely criminal that my best friend didn’t win an MTV VMA.

[marielxhearts]

A happy fall pup with a happy fall cookie.

[bornsforthis]

candy hearts // salt lake city, utah // august first

(my photo please do not use without giving credit)

[marielxhearts]

The mixture of florals and stripes will pretty much always be my fav.

[marielxhearts]

do you guys plan on coming back to ireland? I'd love to see you guys, but I couldnt go to the pop punks not dead tour because im under 18 D: I love you guys

I’d really like to! REALLY. But next time I’d fly because if I never had to take that darn ferry again, my life wouldn’t feel like it’s missing anything. If you know what I’m saying.