Marissa Ito en el Mundito!

[marissaito-blog]

Dresses, Femininity and Justice?

Lately social justice has been a huge controversial subject, leaving everyone arguing.  And this isn’t necessarily bad.  It’s good to wrestle with an issue, to really understand it and discover the best way to address it.  The stakes are high.  The lives of individuals will change depending on a response, so yes it DOES matter.  We SHOULD investigate, dive deep and really discover what is the best way to address this problem?

And this is the exact reason why I almost did not participate in Dressember.  Why dresses?  Are dresses really an appropriate expression of femininity?  Isn’t gender socially constructed?  Historically were dresses used as a way to dis-empower women?  What if I, by wearing dresses for 31 days am reinforcing a stigma that is actually degrading to my sex?

Trust me, all of those thoughts, questions and more went through my mind.  And after diving deep into those concerns, and thinking about all the ways that people could argue that this campaign was actually promoting unequal rights and unjustly or incorrectly defining feminity, I said to myself “I’m going for it.”

That probably was not the most mature response, but let me explain.  There are two reasons I want to participate in this campaign:

To have fun!: For the past two plus years I’ve been a bit tired.  I’ve been non-stop listening to stories of rape, domestic violence, being held at gunpoint, homelessness—you name it—I’ve heard it!  My lack of creativity has diminished, I minimize problems, I feel shallow when I care about something that does not have to do with saving someone’s life… And… I’m just tired.  Dresses may not be everyone’s expression of femininity and that is ok, but I am excited to personally explore my own femininity through this lens.  I need a mini-hobby to get those playful creative juices flowing through my mind.  Whether that be how I chose to make do with my limited selection of December-appropriate dresses or through blogging about my lack of fashion knowledge, I am excited to commit to a light-hearted something!   And,

Because the stakes are high:  Violence is real.  It affects many people we know, whether we are blind to it or not.  Addressing these global and societal issues is critical.  I remember being in Guatemala and feeling so empowered by the stories I heard.  I remember seeing a beautiful restoration and I know that my co-workers in Guatemala, and the others around the globe are kicking butt in this fight for justice.  The stakes ARE high when responding to violence, especially in poor communities.  And I can personally attest to the fact that IJM responds effectively, professionally, and passionately.  They lovingly care for the individual and ruthlessly fight for justice and restoration.  I am so proud of my team and I hope you will join me by donating so that their operations can be expanded. 

So as a way to not despair, to re-spark some of that light-hearted creative energy and to support an amazing team of professionals, I am participating in Dressember.  So cheers to the next 31 days of dresses!   I hope you will join me on this journey!

Please click here to go to my personal fundraising page!

[marissaito-blog]

FRIENDS WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Tension in her face tugged at her heavy eyelids, keeping them from completely falling. I could tell she was tired by the way her shoulders hung, and the look she got when her daughter cried. She was young. She was no more than 13 years old. And even though she should've been laughing, playing outside and thinking about her future, I hardly ever saw her smile. She walked as if she carried a heavy weight on her shoulders. Something painful continually gnawed at her heart and surfaced in her eyes. 

International Justice Mission (www.ijm.org) has been a huge part of our journey as couple.  Last year, we had the priviledge of living in Guatemala and meeting many young survivors of sexual violence.  Sadly, trauama, violence and insecurity is a reality for many teens and pre-teens in Guatemala.

Approximately 7% of women report that they have been sexually abused in Guatemala and about 66% were first abused before the age of 15.

The U.S. State Department Human Rights Report of 2012 states, "Impunity for perpetrators [of rape] reamined at approximately 98 percent.  Rape victims frequently did not report crimes due to lack of confidence in the justice system, social stigma or fear of reprisal."

According to the "Ministerio Publico" there were 2,193 caess of sexual or physical assualt during the year.  Over the Same period, there were 418 convictions for sexual or physical assault on women. (U.S. Department of State Human Rights Report 2012).

However, we were also able to witness restoration in the lives of many young girls!  (To watch a small glimpse of this restoration please click here for Griselda's story).  In March of 2013, sponsors from the U.S. made a retreat for 34 young girls possible.  After this 2-day retreat, the girl we described above laughed, talked about her birthday and teased her little brother.  Just like her, we want other girls to realize that they are not alone in their struggles and can move pass what they have experienced.

Rob and I have been raising money to sponsor another retreat for clients of IJM Guatemala.  We need about $4000 so that these girls can partake in a weekend of fun, story telling, justice, healing and  forgiveness. To get a glimpse of last years retreat please click this story.  We would LOVE it if you would join us in this endeavor and donate to make this happen!  

*Because we are not directly fundraising through IJM, all money will go directly to vendors in Guatemala and will therefore not be tax deductible. *

To donate please click on our paypal account here, or write a check out to "Rob Merrill" with "Teen's Retreat" in the subject line.

[marissaito-blog]

So Proud Of IJM!

http://storylineblog.com/2014/05/16/extraordinary-moments-dont-happen-without-work/

[marissaito-blog]

Almost a month ago I married my best friend! Best day ever!

[marissaito-blog]

Bridal shower fun!!!

[marissaito-blog]

We are officially EMPLOYED!  Seattle bound!

[marissaito-blog]

Candidating/interview week in Seattle. So tired but at least we got to see a few friends!

[marissaito-blog]

Weekend in Stockton.

Rob and I drove down to see our friends and family that we hadn't seen in over a year!  It was so great to be back!  

[marissaito-blog]

A Father to the Fatherless

It stung.  Voices rang in unison joyfully singing, but for me something stung. 

"A Father to the Fatherless..." 

The song went on, but that phrase continued to resonate in my mind.  It knocked at my heart, awakening memories of beautiful little faces, and pulled at me as I remembered her. 

Her hair was pulled back into a half pony tail as a few whisps fell at the level of her cheeks.  Her fingers twiddled through the pages of her Bible as she stared at the ground.  

"All I have is me and my daughter."  She said, "I don't really have anyone else.  I don't have anyone to tell me I love you, to hug me or take care of me."   

I have seen, read, heard and sang the phrase "a father to the fatherless" a number of times, but for some reason today, the phrase stirred something deeper.

Many children I met were fatherless, orphans or in some divisive family situations.  They were alone, they were separated from, abandoned by or shunned by their families.  And although they may not ever be in whole, supportive nor loving families, God does not abandon.

Her voice was soft in sound, yet bold in spirit. as she continued her story, she proclaimed, "but God has been good and I know He has plans for me."

Psalm 10:14 But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

Dear friends and family, thank you for your prayers for me, for IJM and for the clients.  I will continue to update my blog with reflections, stories and occasional photos.  Please continue to pray for IJM Guatemala's clients and employees as they fight for justice for these beautiful children.

For more information on IJM please visit: www.ijm.org

[marissaito-blog]

Some pictures of our temporary home in Tahoe!

[marissaito-blog]

A Few Of My Favorite Things

I am still in the "euphoria" stage of being back in the U.S.!  Woo!  No reverse culture-shock meltdowns yet!

Anyways.... Here are a few things that I forgot existed/missed:

Hot water comes out of the sink!  I can wash dishes with hot water! And my face!  And my hands!

Real creamer!  And FLAVORED creamer to put in my coffee!

A dryer!  My clothes are normal-sized again!  And they smell good!

Dry weather.  No humidity, means I sweat less!

Pine trees :)  So pretty!

Crossing the street with ease.  The cars stop so far off and don't grind their engines when they are waiting for you to cross.

No smog!

Smooth rides and streets.

A few different things:

Honking is seen as aggressive here.

Everything is so quiet here.

I don't need to walk everywhere.  

I can walk outside easily and safely.

[marissaito-blog]

Back Home!!!

Rob and I landed at 1:20 AM this morning and then got to his parents house at about 4:30AM... So needless to say, I slept most of today...But woke up to this gorgeous view!!!

First Initial Reactions:

My head feels 1000x clearer.  I feel like I have better focus and can think better here for some reason.

The customs people are HARSH.

Rob's parents are amazing for picking us up so early, making us food and letting us crash here as we figure things out!

I am excited to sit outside and read!  I am excited to read again!

Water pressure is amazing!

Still getting used to the idea that toilet paper goes in the toilet.

All the English isn't overwhelming... yet...

[marissaito-blog]

One Year Observations

Tomorrow Roberto and I will take off and leave, return to our homes (well kind of, we will be hiding out and relaxing for a week with his parents, and then make our way to either job interviews or saying hello/good-bye to old friends)... But before I go, I thought I would post my "year long observations."  

Marching bands are necessary--any place, anywhere, any time, any occasion or lack thereof.   

To evangelical Christians dancing is bad, but to catholics it is ok!

Jokes like, "I am going to kill you" or "shoot me" are probably not appropriate to use in a culture so affected by violence.

Guatemala has incredibly windy roads.

People are good at speaking highly of themselves in a non-prideful/arrogant way.  Self-loathing is not really a thing here like it is in the states.

Gringos have really strong, horrible accents (including me!).

Gringos also tend to have lots of food allergies or restrictions.

Guatemala is NOT and I repeat NOT at all the same as Mexico!  

Good-bye Guatemala!  I will miss your beautiful landscapes, delicious stews and foods, your fun Spanish "CAVAL!", your beautiful fabrics and your resilience in the midst of recovering from a incredibly violent civil war.  Thank you for letting one of the most naiive and ignorant foreigners visit for a year and work with amazingly patient people!

And to the United States, I will see you soon!  

Thank you for your prayers, e-mails, skype dates and facebook messages this year!  They were much needed and appreciated and as always, please stay tuned for reflection posts as Rob and I continue to debrief :). 

[marissaito-blog]

Debriefing in Antigua

[marissaito-blog]

A New Luxurious Normal

I don’t necessarily consider myself super “high-maintenance.”  I mean, for half of this year, I had knives so dull that they bounced off vegetables, I had mattress springs that poked me at night, I couldn’t flush my toilet paper down the toilet, and of course, I had many little insect friends visit my apartment… I lived in Guatemala, a “developing country.”  As a lot of people say, “I roughed it.”

But, despite the fact that I lived in a place that creates images of children’s snot covered faces and over-bloated bellies…  I also lived comfortably.  I went out to eat, I paid for taxis, I traveled all over the country and I ate meat almost everyday!  I had access to luxuries that many people, even the average-middle-class Guatemalan did not.

 Basically—there were some things I did have to adapt to (like the incredibly low and not always hot water pressure in the shower), but also I had access to a lot that many did not.  My “luxuries” here were things I used to see as “normal” back in my life at home.     

For example:

1. Diet:  I bought cheese every week (Yep, dairy products are not super common here)!  I loaded up on veggies instead of carbs!  I occasionally bought brownie mix to have a taste of home!  I had access to luxury food items that would be “normal” to find in my refrigerator at home. 

2.  Health: I went running about 3-4 times a week.  I chose to pay a little bit more, and live in a safe environment where I can run outside.  I was not locked in an area where I was forced to stay inside for safety reasons. 

3. Transportation: I did not take the chicken buses within the city (this is the most common form of transportation and goes all throughout Guatemala.  However these buses are frequently held up because of thieves or gang related activity).  I had a choice to pay more, to be safe, when many others did not.

4.Disposable Income: I traveled on the weekends. I could do fun things like, eat out, go to the movies and travel!  I had extra money to do “the normal weekend thing.”  Yes, Guatemalans do go out occasionally, but not as frequently as would seem “normal” at home.   

I lived relatively comfortably here… I did things like a “normal” gringa would.  But, I also do not want to forget—that for most of the world, the things that I used to not even think twice about, like pleasantly strolling in a park or taking public transportation without fear—is a luxury that most of the world does not have.  My eyes have opened to a new reality that was different from the previous one I lived in. 

I do not exactly know how to translate this experience back to the States… Obviously, I do not want a re-play of a bug-infested house where exterminators come three times in one year… But I also do not want to lock myself in a bubble and live in mere comfort, where I forget.  I do not want to forget that the “normal” and “natural” standard of living that I will go back too—is not at all “normal” or “natural” for the majority of the rest of the world.  I do not want to forget that being able to stay healthy with my dietary and exercise choices are a luxury.  I do not want to forget that being safe is not a normal reality for many here.

I am not trying to come off like I am making a “spectacle out of poverty” or using someone else’s situation merely for my own “spiritual growth,” but I as I think about returning, getting a real job, getting married and learning to budget-- I do not want to forget how I lived here, nor how I saw others live.  I want to live on what is necessary, and not stay stuck in a bubble of comfort.  I had enough—more than enough in fact.  And even though the selfish human part of me will always want to go out more, travel more, eat more and buy more--I want to avoid the trap of feeling I want and "need" more to make me happy.  I want to learn to be content with what I have, know that it is enough, and remember that Jesus is my ultimate provider who commands us to live generously and freely.      

[marissaito-blog]

A Little Sneak Peak of Our Spiritual Retreat.

It was a great last day--worshipping, praying and being with my dear co-workers, being reminded that Jesus is good throughout all circumstances and also having fun swimming, eating and laughing.  

[marissaito-blog]

Final Days!

Work is almost over for me.  Friday, yesterday, was my official last day.  On Monday, I am going in for an Office Retreat and then my time with IJM is finished. 

Lately there have been a lot of “How do you feel?” questions firing left and right.

And too be honest… I don’t really know. 

Part of me, does not really feel a whole lot (I know, get ready for the contradiction below), because it hasn’t really hit me that I’m done.  My time in Guatemala is coming to a close and it’s time to go “home.”

But I also feel so full of joy that I got to be a part of such a wonderful team of people and meet many beautiful children.  That I got great work experience and also gained a deeper understanding of Guatemalan culture, cross-cultural interactions, Guatemalan history, abuse, injustice, and violence.  

But with that joy, also comes feelings of loss, knowing that I am about to leave Guatemala: this country, the new little “chapina” cultural habits I picked up (like waving my finger around at everyone—that’s going to go over well in the States!), the beautiful landscapes, my new friends, a job I felt alive in and the life I built here over the last year…

I feel relieved. I made it through the year.  I am ready to go home and be somewhere where I have reliable transportation (AKA I can drive myself and not wait for a bus or a taxi), and have more freedom and control over my situation… I am ready to get married… I am ready to be settled somewhere for awhile, and be in an environment with a familiar language and culture…

Yet, parts of the “familiarity” I am longing for may not actually be found in the States. Guatemala in a crazy way has kind of become the “normal” to me… Not all of it—there are still moments where I am the ignorant foreigner, but there is a strange comfort and familiarity here that I will loose when I return back “home.”

So basically, to answer the original question… I don’t really know how I feel, and I don’t think I really will until I am thrown back into the craziness of the States and the “new” yet “familiar” overwhelming smells, sounds, gestures, and friendships. 

So, please pray for Rob and I, as we get ready to prepare to leave our “home” and go “home.”  This next upcoming week will be spent saying lots of good byes and finishing last minute packing, and our last 5 days will be spent in Antigua, debriefing, relaxing and of course doing some last minute shopping at the market J.  We will be back in the US on October 18th, but will also be taking another few days there to debrief… So pray for this time of relaxation, as we reflect on the year, and brainstorm ways to translate everything we experienced and learned to our new lives in the States.  And also please stay tuned for new posts as we reflect over the last year!