Ā Ā Ā (ć£āā”ā)ć£ Ā ā„ Ā neels Ā , Ā with Ā opheliaĀ song Ā . Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ššššššš Ā ššššš Ā šš Ā hesitant Ā to Ā say Ā that Ā anything Ā has Ā changed Ā since Ā her Ā breakup Ā with Ā neels Ā . Ā a Ā night Ā that Ā pushed Ā ophelia Ā off Ā her Ā pedestal Ā and Ā let Ā her Ā fall Ā into Ā darkness Ā that Ā welcomed Ā herĀ homeĀ Ā with Ā open Ā armsĀ . Ā she Ā has Ā been Ā spiralingĀ , Ā floating Ā downwardsĀ likeĀ every Ā cruel Ā beast Ā and Ā deityĀ struck Ā down Ā by Ā someone Ā who condemnedĀ them Ā and Ā called Ā it Ā justice Ā . Ā on Ā some Ā level Ā , Ā some Ā flicker Ā of Ā candlelight Ā within Ā the Ā blackened Ā , Ā cracked Ā shell Ā of Ā a Ā broken Ā girl Ā , Ā the Ā hint Ā of Ā goodness Ā inside Ā her Ā urges Ā her Ā to Ā feel Ā different Ā . Ā to Ā look Ā out Ā at Ā a Ā throne Ā room Ā filled Ā with Ā the Ā people Ā she Ā once Ā called Ā adoring Ā subjects Ā and Ā stop Ā ignoring Ā the Ā hatred Ā and Ā fear Ā burning Ā in Ā their Ā eyes Ā . Ā gods Ā lead Ā lonely Ā lives Ā , Ā they Ā sit Ā upon Ā thrones Ā at Ā the Ā top Ā of Ā a Ā mountain Ā and Ā hide Ā away Ā from Ā the Ā prying Ā eyes Ā of Ā mortals Ā āāā Ā ophelia Ā wishes Ā she Ā could Ā say Ā she Ā feels Ā worthy Ā of Ā the Ā throne Ā she Ā once Ā occupied Ā , Ā but Ā when Ā she Ā stumbles Ā and Ā hears Ā neelsās Ā voice Ā cutting Ā sharply Ā through Ā the Ā silence Ā , Ā there Ā is Ā no Ā reformed Ā saint Ā replacing Ā the Ā monster Ā . Ā notĀ yetĀ ,Ā notĀ whenĀ sheĀ still findsĀ comfortĀ inĀ theĀ routineĀ ofĀ crueltyĀ thatĀ sheĀ settledĀ intoĀ .Ā notĀ whenĀ theĀ darknessĀ stillĀ feelsĀ likeĀ homeĀ .Ā maybeĀ sheĀ trulyĀ was Ā doomed Ā from Ā the Ā startĀ ,Ā maybeĀ thereĀ willĀ neverĀ beĀ redemptionĀ forĀ someoneĀ whoĀ canātĀ seeĀ herĀ ownĀ mistakesĀ orĀ howĀ theyĀ onlyĀ dragĀ herĀ furtherĀ downĀ ,Ā furtherĀ awayĀ fromĀ thoseĀ whoĀ onceĀ caredĀ . Ā ophelia Ā turns Ā to Ā face Ā neels Ā and Ā tries Ā to Ā hide Ā away Ā any Ā shred Ā of Ā vulnerability Ā at Ā a Ā sight Ā that Ā still Ā makes Ā her Ā ache Ā āāā Ā she Ā didnāt Ā love Ā him Ā , Ā sheĀ claimedĀ sheĀ neverĀ lovedĀ him Ā , Ā a Ā single Ā look Ā from Ā him Ā is Ā still Ā enough Ā to Ā make Ā her Ā chest Ā tighten Ā . Ā ā Ā how Ā kind Ā of Ā you Ā to Ā point Ā that Ā out Ā . Ā i Ā donāt Ā think Ā i Ā could Ā have Ā noticed Ā by Ā myself Ā , Ā ā Ā ophelia Ā snaps Ā in Ā return Ā , Ā bending Ā down Ā to Ā start Ā putting Ā books Ā into Ā a Ā haphazard Ā pile Ā , Ā tucking Ā her Ā phone Ā into Ā her Ā purse Ā āāā Ā quickly Ā . Ā this Ā is Ā uncomfortable Ā enough Ā ,Ā andĀ theĀ silenceĀ feelsĀ heavyĀ aroundĀ themĀ .Ā ophelia Ā already Ā wants Ā to Ā make Ā an Ā escapeĀ āāāĀ sheĀ neverĀ escapesĀ ,Ā hardlyĀ everĀ backsĀ downĀ fromĀ conflictĀ Ā .Ā thisĀ isĀ differentĀ .Ā ā Ā careful Ā with Ā your Ā rings Ā before Ā you Ā drop Ā something Ā too Ā , Ā ā Ā she Ā adds Ā , Ā without Ā sparing Ā neels Ā another Ā look Ā as Ā strandsĀ ofĀ blondeĀ hair Ā fallĀ in Ā front Ā of Ā her Ā face Ā while Ā she Ā gathers Ā her Ā things Ā .
Ā Ā Ā heāsĀ entirelyĀ outĀ ofĀ hisĀ elementĀ ,Ā butĀ theĀ frustrationĀ andĀ aggravationĀ thatĀ swirlĀ aroundĀ eachĀ otherĀ inĀ theĀ baseĀ ofĀ hisĀ gutĀ keepĀ himĀ closeĀ companyĀ ,Ā Ā lockedĀ inĀ anĀ elaborateĀ routineĀ thatĀ flipĀ floppedĀ betweenĀ aĀ waltzĀ andĀ aĀ fightĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā makingĀ aĀ placeĀ heādĀ spentĀ merelyĀ aĀ handfulĀ ofĀ momentsĀ inĀ sinceĀ theĀ startĀ ofĀ hisĀ educationalĀ careerĀ feelĀ moreĀ likeĀ homeĀ thanĀ theĀ opulentĀ stoneĀ mansionĀ inĀ newĀ yorkĀ thatĀ carriedĀ hisĀ familyĀ nameĀ andĀ allĀ theĀ memoriesĀ ofĀ hisĀ childhoodĀ .Ā Ā heĀ hasĀ noĀ reasonĀ toĀ fearĀ opheliaĀ songĀ ,Ā Ā andĀ asĀ aĀ resultĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā herĀ snippinessĀ fallsĀ uponĀ deafĀ earsĀ .Ā Ā neelsĀ rockefellerĀ cameĀ fromĀ aĀ lineageĀ whoseĀ timelineĀ wasĀ aĀ strandĀ ofĀ pureĀ goldĀ Ā ā-Ā hisĀ familyĀ wereĀ theĀ oldĀ godsĀ ,Ā namelessĀ deitiesĀ tooĀ rootedĀ inĀ Ā theĀ worldĀ itselfĀ toĀ beĀ oustedĀ byĀ thoseĀ whoĀ wereĀ ephemeralĀ inĀ theirĀ powerĀ .Ā Ā hisĀ statusĀ protectedĀ himĀ likeĀ armourĀ fabricatedĀ inĀ haephestusāsĀ forgeĀ ,Ā Ā andĀ thoughĀ heĀ wonātĀ everĀ knowĀ forĀ certainĀ ifĀ sheĀ openedĀ herĀ heartĀ toĀ himĀ asĀ heĀ didĀ forĀ herĀ ,Ā Ā evenĀ forĀ aĀ secondāsĀ durationĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā heĀ hasĀ seenĀ opheliaĀ inĀ herĀ ownĀ tendernessĀ .Ā Ā sheĀ hadĀ nothingĀ toĀ holdĀ overĀ himĀ ,Ā Ā andĀ thatĀ wasĀ hisĀ freedomĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā whenĀ myĀ shitĀ touchesĀ theĀ groundĀ iĀ justĀ buyĀ newĀ onesĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā onlyĀ trueĀ ofĀ someĀ thingsĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā heāsĀ hadĀ theĀ sameĀ newĀ yorkĀ knicksĀ hatĀ sinceĀ heĀ wasĀ eightĀ yearsĀ oldĀ .Ā Ā heāsĀ onlyĀ expellingĀ hotĀ airĀ ,Ā rappingĀ sharpĀ knucklesĀ againstĀ theĀ tableāsĀ surfaceĀ andĀ staringĀ herĀ downĀ withĀ aĀ confidenceĀ thatĀ takesĀ evenĀ himĀ byĀ surpriseĀ .Ā itĀ seemsĀ toĀ ebbĀ andĀ flowĀ ,Ā Ā theĀ wayĀ heĀ feelsĀ forĀ herĀ .Ā Ā oneĀ momentĀ heāsĀ wistfulĀ ,Ā Ā tearsĀ prickingĀ atĀ theĀ backsĀ ofĀ hisĀ eyesĀ .Ā Ā theĀ nextĀ ,Ā Ā heĀ hatesĀ herĀ .Ā Ā heĀ wantsĀ herĀ goneĀ .Ā heĀ wantsĀ herĀ worseĀ thanĀ goneĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā stillĀ thereĀ ,Ā Ā butĀ irrelevantĀ ,Ā dirtĀ poorĀ ,Ā andĀ uglyĀ .Ā Ā presentlyĀ ,Ā Ā sheĀ isĀ theĀ baneĀ ofĀ hisĀ charmedĀ existenceĀ Ā ā-Ā Ā snarkyĀ quipsĀ flowingĀ likeĀ waterĀ fromĀ aĀ thawedĀ springĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā areĀ weĀ gonnaĀ haveĀ toĀ decideĀ whoĀ getsĀ theĀ libraryĀ inĀ theĀ divorceĀ ,Ā Ā orĀ amĀ iĀ gonnaĀ haveĀ toĀ watchĀ youĀ doĀ aĀ theatricalĀ tumbleĀ forĀ myĀ attentionĀ everyĀ weekĀ orĀ soĀ ?Ā Ā āĀ Ā
