A place of much rambling

Physicist. Hypnotist. Probably several other things ending in -ist. Organises erotic hypnosis meetups in Melbourne. Expert on not being concise. (NSFW/18+)

[h-sleepingirl]

I really wish it was obvious and clear that learning hypnosis shouldn't stop after the 101/beginner material :( There is so much more and it would help a lot of people who struggle to get the experiences they want.

I get so jealous of the rope community sometimes because rope is obviously, visibly complicated, and you have to really strive for tangible proficiency. This is DEFINITELY not about everyone but I think we settle for too low, in general.

Here's a few spitball ideas of what I might consider different levels of learning material:

Beginner learning:

How to do an induction

Simplified ideas about what hypnosis is

Giving basic suggestions, making triggers

Basic safety practices

Novice learning:

Ideas about ways to play/themes

Simplified “indirect” suggestion (might/may)

"Standardized" techniques (yes sets, 7+/-2, etc)

Some basic variation around suggesting phenomena (hallucinations, amnesia, etc)

More sophisticated safety practices/theory

Intermediate learning:

Various codified language patterns (NLP/Zebu card etc)

Moving away from “induction > deepener > suggestions” style

Moving away from "standardized" tech

Different models of hypnosis

Beginnings of connecting psych/philosophy/other disciplines

Advanced learning:

Sophisticated command of concepts behind language, less reliance on patterns

Moving fluidly between many models of hypnosis/psych

Sophisticated connections between psych/philosophy/other disciplines

Large breadth of theory/ideas behind techniques

--

It's very hard to codify what "advanced" means

Clearly with my 101 resource (http://learnhypnokink.com) I think we should be teaching certain things much earlier

I believe you can't teach past novice level with one book/resource, and it gets harder to go up from there

(Pulled from my Twitter)

[marnathas]

Aye definitely. 100% agree! I wonder how much of the difference compared to say rope is individual learning vs group learning. Yet another indirect consequence of there’s very few places with a decent concentration of hypnokinksters, let alone decent enough to have good learning environments form in. i.e. To learn rope, you’ll find a class that’s going on (because it’s reasonably common in a lot of areas) so it’s a bit more formalised, and you get lots of exposure to more “advanced” stuff and people to talk shop with, and you can THEN find people who specialise in specific directions to take your rope (suspend? self-suspend? dynamic rope? predicaments? ect?). Whereas a lot of us hypnokinksters are self-taught out of necessity. Whether it be via the few books that are out there aimed at us, which as you’ve hinted at runs dry a bit past Novice level, so to go further you have to be both dedicated, AND be able to figure out for yourself where you want to go deeper in (pun intended :3). Or via assimilation/trying what works via experience, which is very unformalised and oft leads to people who’ve got a lot of practical experience but aren’t able to quantify what they know very well/get very surprised at what would be Beginner/Novice concepts (also all the pseudoscience folklore passed down the ages that’ll forever float through hypnokink land).

[h-sleepingirl]

Yes I think this is part of it, BUT it's also a chicken/egg question at this point.

Since COVID the online scene for hypnokink has EXPLODED. Hypnokink is like a popular mainstream fantasy at this point and the majority of people engage with it (for play) online. There is, however (comparatively to the entire population of "people into hypnokink online"):

A lack of people interested in education

An exponential disparity between beginner/novice and intermediate practitioners, and even further between intermediate and advanced practitioners

Education in the scene suffers a lot because it's mostly novice-level material that's getting shared around. Maybe that's the one book some people have read, or the few classes they've attended. Then those people are visible online either through just being visible or teaching. There's a smattering of folks teaching intermediate stuff but the issue is that you need to be at a certain level to be able to understand it. Basically no one is teaching/writing advanced material, even the people I can think of who could.

Because you teach down, and the subset of folks who ARE coming to learn are mostly still getting their feet wet with intermediate material.

So mostly we're stuck with a community that is utterly and completely accessible but the pool of knowledge is getting wider and not deeper.

Like you're saying, attending a rope event and watching people do "advanced" rope is huge. It's visible and it's in your face and the education is available (if, often, prohibitively expensive -- tangent for another day). Hypnosis is visible in different ways but the "advanced" stuff is simply not as easy to see, or doesn't even exist.

As a side note, I think we as educators are worried about "leaving people behind," e.g. walling our classes and materials off to novices. We are fucking obsessed with teaching beginner/novice hypnosis. I think we need to get more comfortable with teaching purely higher-level material -- because truly the people being left behind right now are the folks who are trying to make it to or past a really comfortable intermediate learning. There is PLENTY of beginner/novice material available.

I had a beautiful little conversation with @/seattlefemdom on Twitter as a result of this thread where we agreed: "Advanced" hypnosis is 100% a product of your ability to effortlessly synthesize things from outside of "hypnosis" into the entire ethos of your practice. Things from your life, art, history, music, philosophy, psychology, writing, spirituality, etc... Understanding hypnosis not as "how do I build a scene out of this idea" but sort of like "how is this idea inseparable from hypnosis?" And how do you teach that?

I have some ideas. Sometime soon I will be offering a workshop I'm building that is a collaborative textual analysis of Milton Erickson aimed to teach the beginnings of these kinds of critical thinking skills. Every single thing I have done for education -- all my books, articles, podcasts, classes -- are aimed at the people who want to become familiar with intermediate material or start moving a little bit past it. But like. I am one person, and the niche is very small (and while a ton of what I make is free, a lot of is paid too because it's my job). I just want to make the pool deeper so overall the level of education increases.

Sorry this got SO long and really beyond the scope of what you are talking about, but clearly I had more to say! You had a very good point.

[marnathas]

Don’t worry about it being long!! Awesome read and you pretty much said a lot of what I was trying to get at way more eloquently! 😂 One thing I thought of straight after my previous reply was a really simple factor:

A rope class will run regularly. Like weekly or fortnightly. You constantly keep building on things by going repeatedly. (Caveat: I live in a part of the world where rope classes are relatively cheap even for more advanced stuff.)

Classes on hypno stuff are a once in a blue moon thing, even for basics. IRL it’s not viable in 99% of the world, and online it just doesn’t happen often even in communities that could sustain it (but then it’d be people teaching for free, and you can’t really check in on progress will on online classes and such).

Advanced classes happen at cons, but those are prohibitively difficult to get to, and a 2 or 3 times a year thing. I’m Australian, it’s not happening (SO much money), for instance.

Which tracks back into what you just said now about advanced learning and what I was pondering earlier.

People don’t really get to the advanced stuff because maybe they’ll find one class teaching beginner stuff every few months, and so never get to the point where they know enough to start directing their learning past “how do I drop a cute person?”.

This is a bit weird now cause I’m agreeing with you by disagreeing, in that I’m thinking as I pull this together that there isn’t enough structured beginner learning floating about, which means the demand for more advanced learning isn’t there. (The material is out there in abundance, the ability to learn beyond go do it on your own isn’t.)

It kinda pokes into a trend I’ve noticed in a lot of online hypno spaces: 95%+ of shop talk is newbies trickling in individually and asking the usual basic questions, cause there isn’t somewhere to direct them besides “ok let’s give the information one person at a time”. That said I don’t think advanced shop talk happens anywhere near enough compared to say rope and there’s probably a culture thing at the root of that too like you’ve said. 🤔

One last quick tangent before I stop my own essay too 😂, I may disagree slightly with the concept of “Advanced” as you’ve presented it which is an entirely different conversation, but that’s more I see it advanced as being able to start take it your own direction and really make it your own (or to put it another way, really understanding the concepts and rebuilding them to your own preferences without needing templates and such), so it’ll look different to everyone as we’ll all take different bits of all the various advanced topics and use what fits for us and not use what doesn’t. But that’s probably just nuance that’s impossible to fully convey in a paragraph or two each (it’s been on my mind due to my own rope learning very recently, so the comparisons have brought it out in full 😅)

[h-sleepingirl]

I really wish it was obvious and clear that learning hypnosis shouldn't stop after the 101/beginner material :( There is so much more and it would help a lot of people who struggle to get the experiences they want.

I get so jealous of the rope community sometimes because rope is obviously, visibly complicated, and you have to really strive for tangible proficiency. This is DEFINITELY not about everyone but I think we settle for too low, in general.

Here's a few spitball ideas of what I might consider different levels of learning material:

Beginner learning:

How to do an induction

Simplified ideas about what hypnosis is

Giving basic suggestions, making triggers

Basic safety practices

Novice learning:

Ideas about ways to play/themes

Simplified “indirect” suggestion (might/may)

"Standardized" techniques (yes sets, 7+/-2, etc)

Some basic variation around suggesting phenomena (hallucinations, amnesia, etc)

More sophisticated safety practices/theory

Intermediate learning:

Various codified language patterns (NLP/Zebu card etc)

Moving away from “induction > deepener > suggestions” style

Moving away from "standardized" tech

Different models of hypnosis

Beginnings of connecting psych/philosophy/other disciplines

Advanced learning:

Sophisticated command of concepts behind language, less reliance on patterns

Moving fluidly between many models of hypnosis/psych

Sophisticated connections between psych/philosophy/other disciplines

Large breadth of theory/ideas behind techniques

--

It's very hard to codify what "advanced" means

Clearly with my 101 resource (http://learnhypnokink.com) I think we should be teaching certain things much earlier

I believe you can't teach past novice level with one book/resource, and it gets harder to go up from there

(Pulled from my Twitter)

[marnathas]

Aye definitely. 100% agree! I wonder how much of the difference compared to say rope is individual learning vs group learning. Yet another indirect consequence of there’s very few places with a decent concentration of hypnokinksters, let alone decent enough to have good learning environments form in. i.e. To learn rope, you’ll find a class that’s going on (because it’s reasonably common in a lot of areas) so it’s a bit more formalised, and you get lots of exposure to more “advanced” stuff and people to talk shop with, and you can THEN find people who specialise in specific directions to take your rope (suspend? self-suspend? dynamic rope? predicaments? ect?). Whereas a lot of us hypnokinksters are self-taught out of necessity. Whether it be via the few books that are out there aimed at us, which as you’ve hinted at runs dry a bit past Novice level, so to go further you have to be both dedicated, AND be able to figure out for yourself where you want to go deeper in (pun intended :3). Or via assimilation/trying what works via experience, which is very unformalised and oft leads to people who’ve got a lot of practical experience but aren’t able to quantify what they know very well/get very surprised at what would be Beginner/Novice concepts (also all the pseudoscience folklore passed down the ages that’ll forever float through hypnokink land).

[marnathas]

So apparently there are people still reading and referencing this old thing and I’ve like huh!? O.o

[marnathas]

So the last few weeks I’ve been working on a bit of a DIY hypno project. What’s pictured is a Raspberry Pi Zero, hooked into a small touchscreen display. The idea is I’ll also 3D-print a housing around it and a power bank, and have essentially a alternative techno pocket watch that does spirals! Much coding in, it’s customisable (can change colours and all sorts of variables in it, but has to be in the back end of the code at the moment), can pause, can turn on and off temporarily, and can turn on with the pi (so no keyboard/mouse needed, albeit it does lag for a bit while all the rest of the startup runs in the background!) and then be turned off with just the touch screen! I’m pretty happy with it so far, and by no means done with it code-wise, but I just wanted to throw it out there.

[marnathas]

Just a thought: Considering all the issues there have been with cons over the past year, cons should really have who is presenting/running classes at them as public information. It’s not a good thing to have that kind of information potentially behind paywalls, as how on earth do you make an informed decision about whether to pay to attend a thing without that?

[marnathas]

Random Suggestion Generator V2.0

Ok, so I mentioned this... probably a month ago, life got in the way, but as a little personal project to re-learn my coding (and learn a bunch more) I set out to rebuild an old python script I made a few years ago that pulled suggestions out of a list at random.

What’s new this time compared to last?

It has an actual GUI, instead of running through a goddamn terminal!

In addition, I’ve found out how to turn a python script into a .exe file, so there’s a copy of it that runs WITHOUT needing to use a terminal at all!

I’ve added a bunch of new little things to it for functionality, see below.

Ok, so what does this actually do? Basically, it takes a pre-defined list of suggestions, sets up an interface with up to 5 people participating, and lets you generate suggestions from the list at random. It’ll keep track of which person is being directed at and how many suggestions each has had prior. The base idea in my head was every time someone in the game drops, you hit the button, and it gives them a suggestion!

So what does this support, in terms of how the suggestions work?

The text given in a suggestion can change the more time a person gets that suggestion, so you can have the first time set a thing up, then the next times beef it up.

Has abilities for suggestions to trigger more suggestions at once, or call up the text of a different suggestion.

Has an option to disregard lewd suggestions, if people aren’t feeling that. (This works for everyone at once, hmm, notes down to make that player-specific if I ever do more...)

Supports suggestions popping up repeatedly in future rolls.

And, you can reset the game and counters/players/settings without quitting the program entirely. Yay!

Alright, so here is a download link. There’s more I want to do in future depending on effort (add a few more features, make it look better, add documentation/instructional info beyond the code comments, some code tweaks), but it’s in a good enough state to let it into the wild. : )

In the download there’ll be 5 files. The .exe is a program, it’ll run fine. If you want to see the code in it it’s there too. If you want to see/edit the suggestions list (will require running it via a command prompt with python) RandomData.py in there has that info to edit, hopefully my code comments make sense in telling you how to structure that. : )

[marnathas]

Filthy hypno ideas, #3

This one is different to the first two. I’ll let it speak for itself, and share a few fun moments from my, ahem, “playtest”, of it (having asked permission to do so). So this is basically a rather more detailed idea, and then a bit of scene snippets (so skip ahead if you just want those!).

Random hypno suggestions game! Super basic and lazy version!

What is this?

Simply put, this is a set of suggestions, designed to be done at random (use something like https://www.random.org/integers/), and a brief set of very (very!) basic rules, to let a subject (and a supervising hypnotist) have a bit of fun with them. Naturally, the rules of the game, and the ability to follow the suggestions chosen randomly will have to be tranced into the subject beforehand (the idea is to have the list available as a reference when it gets called up by the way!).

What are the rules?

The most simple version is, every time the subject falls into trance, they will automatically go and make a roll on the table, and then follow the suggestion/instructions that results from that roll, re-rolling if they get a result that can’t be applied repeatedly. They must also share the results of any rolls they make (i.e. if they roll a 3, they have to tell the hypnotist/anyone else participating that they rolled that 3).

During the game, a request to end/stop the game will cause the game to end and all suggestions active on them as a result of it to fade away completely, leaving them feeling normal and as they normally are.

Else the game ends when the subject is so zonked and overloaded from multiple suggestions that they just stay in trance, or you’ve decided they’ve had enough!

Table of (22) random suggestions:

Please ensure any subjects participating get to see the suggestions beforehand, or are alright with all the ideas that might happen! And adjust the wording/content to what will work for them.

1: For the next 2 minutes, the only thought in your head is the phrase “I am a hypnotised plaything”, and you’ll quietly say it to yourself over and over again.

2: The phrase “I am a hypnotised plaything” keeps popping into your head, and you get just a little bit tempted to say it quietly out loud.

3: Roll again until you reach a different result. You find yourself deeply wanting to have that result happen to you.

4: You now feel very aroused, or if you’re already aroused, you feel more aroused.

5: You now feel very aroused, but you find that your body just doesn’t respond when you try to pleasure yourself. If you are already unable to pleasure yourself, you feel your desire to cum grow much stronger.

6: Until the next time you go into trance, you completely forget you’re playing this game. You’ll still be affected by it, but your conscious mind has completely forgotten about it for now.

7: Your head fills with a pleasurable fog, that makes it just a little bit harder to put thoughts together, and adds a little temptation to stay in a blank foggy daze.

8: You feel much more obedient and submissive.

9: When you’re not paying attention to them, your hands start trying to find ways of putting yourself into trance. If they already are, they become much more insistent and hard to stop. Each time they do so you’ll feel compelled to say how they put you in trance.

10: Your entire body starts feeling more sensitive to touch and pleasure and any other nice sensation.

11: You find that you want to drop into trance more, but your mind will try to resist going into trance.

12: You find that you don’t want to fall into trance, but it’s much harder for your mind to resist dropping.

13: Your mind goes completely blank for 2 minutes.

14: You’ll quietly stand up, find a clear spot in the room, and stand perfectly still and blank at attention for 30 seconds.

15: Your body becomes completely frozen in place and unable to move for 30 seconds.

16: Your mind starts to stick and fixate on things for a few seconds very easily. And this is even stronger when it comes to your own body.

17: You begin to start saying your thoughts out loud, without realising you’re doing it, writing them out in brackets, (like this). If you already are, then you become aware that you’re saying your thoughts out loud as you still do so.

18: When you’re not paying attention to them, your hands start to touch and play with your body on their own. If they already are, they become much more insistent and hard to stop.

19: You find yourself becomming more forgetful, things slip out of your head and memory much more easily.

20: Nothing happens this time, but you feel certain that something has, you just don’t know what changed.

21: You feel much less obedient, and very resistant to being obedient, but you find the idea of being obedient very very hot and arousing deep down.

22: For the next 5 minutes, you’ll be unable to resist anything that puts you into trance, or captures your attention, and then wake up normally after a few seconds. Any trances that result from this don’t count for this game.

So I covered a lot of the pre-cautions and things to adapt in it for different people in it, so let’s talk a bit about where this is going to go! My plan is to steadily extend the table as I think of more things to put in it, and eventually try it out in different circumstances (a suggestion I got given was to use it in duels between subjects, which sounds fuuuun), and try to come up with proper game rules and such involving it. I can copy-paste the table whenever I want so yeah.

The idea with that set of rules above is to have the subject try to resist, and watch them go to mush a bit as they keep dropping and getting hit with new things. There’s some horribly evil combinations in there, as I’ll show a bit now.

Now naturally, as a scientist, I had to test this out and, ahem,debug it. And the girl I trance online was quite excited and willing to be the test subject. So I’ll list a few highlights from us trying it out:

Getting as her first 3 numbers 12, 17 and then 21. Utterly fucked with her aim of resisting, within about 8 minutes she was dropping at the slightest provocation.

Then she got a 10, and well, the fan she had on in the room ended up trancing her with the breeze she felt from it… a lot of times. A. Lot. Especially when she hit a 22 later on.

Then she got a 5, followed later on by a 4 and eventually an 18 later on still. There was begging involved. No I did not let her, because I’m an evil bastard and it was fun.

At some point she got an 11, and then shortly after got 12 twice almost in a row, but accidentally interpreted all three as 11. That involved begging for trance. I was much nicer that time.

The instant she realised she misinterpreted those two 12’s as 11’s, her brain corrected herself and she dropped instantly.

And that’s all I’m sharing, hehe. I would greatly appreciate suggestions and ideas for either ways of using this thing, or more suggestions to add to it, by the way.

[marnathas]

So… a while back (few years now) I actually did some python code to automate this, and it was decent (https://marnathas.tumblr.com/post/173701844700/a-randomised-suggestion-program). At the moment I’ve gotten bitten by the python bug again due to work, and while looking through it to re-remember python syntax I suddenly decided the code I wrote could use a major overhaul/update. Both in functionality, and I decided I wanted to learn how to code some basic GUIs up (fuck my life I must be a masochist), rather than just have it be raw terminal input/output. Watch this space in a week or two maybe? :P

[marnathas]

Update a week later: This wasn’t just an idea that I forgot about! I’ve re-written the whole thing, it has a gui, buttons, all of that, and the new version is feature-complete already (same functionality as the old version, but with a few extra options in it and some usability stuff added). It still looks like a piece of crap (I was leaving making the gui look decent until the end), and the code as-is needs cleanup to not make people throw up XD (I have some parts I want to re-write, and it needs comments!). I’d also like to make it run from an .exe but I’ll have to learn how to do that. :P I technically have a better working thing than I did previously, but I’ll wait a bit more before uploading it anywhere so I can do the above stuff. : )

Ok, way way later, cause of life, I’ve actually finished this off. Well, it was mostly done back then but I finally got around to the last tweaks, and code comments and making it into an exe file. See here: https://marnathas.tumblr.com/post/627154397771743233/random-suggestion-generator-v20

[marnathas]

Filthy hypno ideas, #3

This one is different to the first two. I’ll let it speak for itself, and share a few fun moments from my, ahem, “playtest”, of it (having asked permission to do so). So this is basically a rather more detailed idea, and then a bit of scene snippets (so skip ahead if you just want those!).

Random hypno suggestions game! Super basic and lazy version!

What is this?

Simply put, this is a set of suggestions, designed to be done at random (use something like https://www.random.org/integers/), and a brief set of very (very!) basic rules, to let a subject (and a supervising hypnotist) have a bit of fun with them. Naturally, the rules of the game, and the ability to follow the suggestions chosen randomly will have to be tranced into the subject beforehand (the idea is to have the list available as a reference when it gets called up by the way!).

What are the rules?

The most simple version is, every time the subject falls into trance, they will automatically go and make a roll on the table, and then follow the suggestion/instructions that results from that roll, re-rolling if they get a result that can’t be applied repeatedly. They must also share the results of any rolls they make (i.e. if they roll a 3, they have to tell the hypnotist/anyone else participating that they rolled that 3).

During the game, a request to end/stop the game will cause the game to end and all suggestions active on them as a result of it to fade away completely, leaving them feeling normal and as they normally are.

Else the game ends when the subject is so zonked and overloaded from multiple suggestions that they just stay in trance, or you’ve decided they’ve had enough!

Table of (22) random suggestions:

Please ensure any subjects participating get to see the suggestions beforehand, or are alright with all the ideas that might happen! And adjust the wording/content to what will work for them.

1: For the next 2 minutes, the only thought in your head is the phrase “I am a hypnotised plaything”, and you’ll quietly say it to yourself over and over again.

2: The phrase “I am a hypnotised plaything” keeps popping into your head, and you get just a little bit tempted to say it quietly out loud.

3: Roll again until you reach a different result. You find yourself deeply wanting to have that result happen to you.

4: You now feel very aroused, or if you’re already aroused, you feel more aroused.

5: You now feel very aroused, but you find that your body just doesn’t respond when you try to pleasure yourself. If you are already unable to pleasure yourself, you feel your desire to cum grow much stronger.

6: Until the next time you go into trance, you completely forget you’re playing this game. You’ll still be affected by it, but your conscious mind has completely forgotten about it for now.

7: Your head fills with a pleasurable fog, that makes it just a little bit harder to put thoughts together, and adds a little temptation to stay in a blank foggy daze.

8: You feel much more obedient and submissive.

9: When you’re not paying attention to them, your hands start trying to find ways of putting yourself into trance. If they already are, they become much more insistent and hard to stop. Each time they do so you’ll feel compelled to say how they put you in trance.

10: Your entire body starts feeling more sensitive to touch and pleasure and any other nice sensation.

11: You find that you want to drop into trance more, but your mind will try to resist going into trance.

12: You find that you don’t want to fall into trance, but it’s much harder for your mind to resist dropping.

13: Your mind goes completely blank for 2 minutes.

14: You’ll quietly stand up, find a clear spot in the room, and stand perfectly still and blank at attention for 30 seconds.

15: Your body becomes completely frozen in place and unable to move for 30 seconds.

16: Your mind starts to stick and fixate on things for a few seconds very easily. And this is even stronger when it comes to your own body.

17: You begin to start saying your thoughts out loud, without realising you’re doing it, writing them out in brackets, (like this). If you already are, then you become aware that you’re saying your thoughts out loud as you still do so.

18: When you’re not paying attention to them, your hands start to touch and play with your body on their own. If they already are, they become much more insistent and hard to stop.

19: You find yourself becomming more forgetful, things slip out of your head and memory much more easily.

20: Nothing happens this time, but you feel certain that something has, you just don’t know what changed.

21: You feel much less obedient, and very resistant to being obedient, but you find the idea of being obedient very very hot and arousing deep down.

22: For the next 5 minutes, you’ll be unable to resist anything that puts you into trance, or captures your attention, and then wake up normally after a few seconds. Any trances that result from this don’t count for this game.

So I covered a lot of the pre-cautions and things to adapt in it for different people in it, so let’s talk a bit about where this is going to go! My plan is to steadily extend the table as I think of more things to put in it, and eventually try it out in different circumstances (a suggestion I got given was to use it in duels between subjects, which sounds fuuuun), and try to come up with proper game rules and such involving it. I can copy-paste the table whenever I want so yeah.

The idea with that set of rules above is to have the subject try to resist, and watch them go to mush a bit as they keep dropping and getting hit with new things. There’s some horribly evil combinations in there, as I’ll show a bit now.

Now naturally, as a scientist, I had to test this out and, ahem,debug it. And the girl I trance online was quite excited and willing to be the test subject. So I’ll list a few highlights from us trying it out:

Getting as her first 3 numbers 12, 17 and then 21. Utterly fucked with her aim of resisting, within about 8 minutes she was dropping at the slightest provocation.

Then she got a 10, and well, the fan she had on in the room ended up trancing her with the breeze she felt from it… a lot of times. A. Lot. Especially when she hit a 22 later on.

Then she got a 5, followed later on by a 4 and eventually an 18 later on still. There was begging involved. No I did not let her, because I’m an evil bastard and it was fun.

At some point she got an 11, and then shortly after got 12 twice almost in a row, but accidentally interpreted all three as 11. That involved begging for trance. I was much nicer that time.

The instant she realised she misinterpreted those two 12’s as 11’s, her brain corrected herself and she dropped instantly.

And that’s all I’m sharing, hehe. I would greatly appreciate suggestions and ideas for either ways of using this thing, or more suggestions to add to it, by the way.

[marnathas]

So... a while back (few years now) I actually did some python code to automate this, and it was decent (https://marnathas.tumblr.com/post/173701844700/a-randomised-suggestion-program). At the moment I’ve gotten bitten by the python bug again due to work, and while looking through it to re-remember python syntax I suddenly decided the code I wrote could use a major overhaul/update. Both in functionality, and I decided I wanted to learn how to code some basic GUIs up (fuck my life I must be a masochist), rather than just have it be raw terminal input/output. Watch this space in a week or two maybe? :P

[thehypnobunny]

I am about to throw my computer against a goddamn wall.

This is week three, chapter four of my “Intro to Programming” class and up until now, it’s been smooth sailing. But now they’re getting into the nitty gritty code stuff.

I’m a smart person. I know I am. I did private school for 12 years then private university for four. I’ve taught myself dozens of skills. I’m a sharp cookie.

I. Cannot. Get this. And it’s driving me FUCKING insane.

It’s not me though it’s this goddamned textbook, every term gets defined with words that they haven’t defined yet! I spent an hour on this yesterday, WITH my software engineer boyfriend trying to explain things to me, and it still doesn’t make sense. He looks at the book too, someone who literally writes C# for a living, and says the book doesn’t make sense. 

I’m googling stuff on my own now, and it’s all the same, everywhere. Every word gets defined with two more words I don’t understand and then I have to go look those up and then look up the words used in those definitions and over and over and over again until I have twenty tabs opened up and still no answers and CAN NO ONE JUST FUCKING EXPLAIN THIS IN COMMON ENGLISH

Once I get the concepts, the concepts are not hard to understand. I’m good at concepts. What I’m NOT good at is keeping myself from becoming so frustrated I end up in tears because nothing in my life has ever been this difficult to learn and goddammit this is not fair.

Please. if anyone has resources for an absolute beginner learning C# I’m desperate. All I want is a line-by-line explanation. Every word, every case, every period, every parenthesis, I want to know why it’s there, what it does, and when I have to write it. 

[marnathas]

If this is your first time learning any coding, focus on the fundamental logic first (how all the if and for and while ect loops and calculations and variables and stuff flows). That's the absolute guts of any programming, a lot of any individual coding language is how the syntax around that works, which is easier to learn when you know the underlying logic cause then it’s a matter of you know what you want to happen, it’s just putting the pieces together to make it work. And as someone else mentioned in a comment, one of the best ways to learn coding is usually set a small thing to do and do it and learn by trial and error. Ok on a more practical front, I believe (don’t quote me on this) there’s similarities with C/C++, so you could potentially look for guides for those languages for some of the more basic concepts/underlying logic fundamentals if that’s what’s getting you at the moment.

[marnathas]

I haven’t made any posts here in a long time, but I felt this was a good one to share. I was going to do a NEEHU class on how to bridge the gap a bit between beginner hypnotist and more advanced hypnotist (i.e. how to start moving towards building your own induction ideas from scratch), and that never happened, so I wrote it up a bit. It’s on fetlife and I don’t want to copy/paste/edit it all here, so here’s just a link. : )

[strikethanatos]

Why I Left The Hypno/BDSM Basement

Many of you don’t know me. I apologize for that. I have a hard time being social in large groups, so I just don’t do it. My bad. If you do know me, it’s probably as a moderator of any of a number of hypnosis servers on Discord, including The Hypnotic Speakeasy, of which I am the proprietor, and for a short while The Hypno/BDSM Basement. I quit the mod team and left there recently, and I think you deserve to know why.

See, to me, power has a function: to protect. We who have power are bound by an inescapable duty use it to protect those who do not have it, and that is especially important in the hypnosis community, because the potential harms that arise from us falling down on the job are much more severe. Make no mistake. Hypnosis can absolutely ruin lives. We lie to ourselves that we can’t be made to do something we didn’t want to do in the first place, but famously, there was a hypnotist during the Cold War who hypnotized someone into robbing a bank, claiming that it was his duty to do so to fight Communism.

Because some hypnotists have that power to change more than we should, we have to constantly be on guard to make sure that we are doing what is in the best interests of our subjects, especially given that so few of us are trained therapists. However, we all fail. We all make mistakes. And when we do, it is our duty to ourselves and those whom we have wronged to apologize where possible, to right our wrongs where possible, and to learn from what we did. I am not saying that one bad mistake should necessarily get one exiled forever. What I am saying, however, is that forgiveness should not be given freely, but earned.

The decision to allow MindEraser, also known as NeuralNetsandPrettyPatterns, to remain in the Basement, fully cognizant of his abuses against the greater hypnosis community, is in a word inexcusable. He has not apologized. He has not admitted that anything he did was wrong, much less any specific thing. He just “wants the past to be the past.” No matter what he says, he has not learned. He is still trying to twist consent to mean what it doesn’t. He is still summoning internet mobs to attack people and coerce institutions he dislikes. He uses the same tools to try to get his way that he has always used in the past. Anyone remember when he got banned from every hypnosis convention in North America and Europe, and how he had people go to con committees to tell them what a swell guy he is? Or when he asked followers on Tumblr to appeal the decision to tag his account as being NSFW en masse? Or when he’s dragged people into the main chat of the Pattern Palace to have them explain to everyone why they questioned some decision of his? When he continues to use the same methods, why should you ever believe that he himself has changed?

Here is my issue with him. He has proven time and time again to be predatory and vindictive. He denies responsibility for the consequences of his actions, claiming that it is the responsibility of the subject to reject inappropriate suggestions. He says this, even though anyone with even a basic knowledge of the hypnosis community knows that some people are more suggestible than others, that some people respond more to suggestions than others do, and that some people are less able to reject suggestions than others. Knowing this, he’s released a file that told listeners things like, “You’re gonna forget those other women (men)”, “They are never as good as me”, “They are never as good as me”. (Source: https://kallie-den.tumblr.com/post/171704815843/thesecretsubject-kallie-den-hypdom-this)

That was inexcusable.

And what was his response? To call anyone who was concerned about this a “white knight with something to gain”, to deflect any and all blame, to deny responsibility for what happens to subjects who listen to his files. (Source: https://thesecretsubject.tumblr.com/post/171650964672/note-to-the-hypnosis-community) That is inexcusable.

By that ethical standard, it is impossible to blame hypnotists for harm caused by their suggestions to subjects. And yet, we all know, that as artists, that as creators, that as hypnotists, when we make something we take responsibility for what it does. We ought to warn people about its’ serious consequences. And when we fail to uphold these simple, basic expectations, then we ought to take personal responsibility for these actions.

Neither has happened.

What followed has been a year and a half of witch hunting of any and all people who show basic human decency and concern for their subjects, and the result was that he rebranded himself as MindEraser on Discord and other platforms to distance himself from the controversy.

So, yeah, when he showed up in the Basement, I had concerns. I relayed them to the owner, and spoke to others. He was banned, for a few hours.

But then I was told that he just wanted to “let the past be past.” That I should be “neutral” and “impartial”.

That is not my duty as a moderator, on any platform. My duty is a firm and unwavering responsibility to the community as a whole. To seek out and eliminate predators and those whose actions hurt the health of the community. To, in this era of finally questioning the reign of cultures that tolerate and encourage sexual harassment and exploitation, believing victims. To listen to people seeking justice, and acting on their behalf.

My duty is not to ignore such infamous abusers. In fact, the night before this came up, we collectively yeeted a predator on far less well documented grounds than these. So, where, in the name of justice, is it writ that we are obligated to forgive anyone who seeks it? What responsibility do I have, as a hypnotist, as a creator, as a moderator, as a man, do I have to forgive abusers who have hurt my friends and levied bizarre and false accusations against me?

Presented with this false choice, I came to the conclusion that I had no moral choice but to leave the Basement behind, and furthermore, that I have to remove the moderator who made that choice to tell me to be “impartial” from the Speakeasy.

I’ll be taking care of myself and my server. In the mean time, if you want me, find me at the Hypnotic Speakeasy. I’ll be around. https://discord.gg/dtdTHUJ

[hypnomindstorm]

I highly support this. Honestly, I’m amazed that people keep letting NNPP in places with all the controversy he has caused and his complete lack of remorse for any of it. But hey, what do I know, right?

[hypdom-deactivated20210221]

My long-time followers know much of this nnpp history, but this is a good and accurate compilation. In addition, for the new people or anyone in the back, you should read this. Following the nnpp tag below will take you to the history of Feather, one of the audio files referenced in this piece. The guy is abusive and predatory through and through. Don’t trust a word he says.

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

NeuralNets/MindEraser/BimboVirus/Petruccio(?)/[insert pseudonym here] is, if not the worst (because there ARE worse), one of the most tenaciously and perniciously negative influences on the hypnokink community. Problems caused directly by him, and some by others, are why I do much of the work I do to protect subs and advocate for a culture shift to disincentivize his sort of abusive behavior. I get that a lot of people like him - I may not agree, obvs, but I understand it is thus regardless of how I feel - but I cannot stand to let the damage he causes go unremarked or unaddressed, regardless of the heat I take for it.

If you have had an unequivocally positive experience with him, great! I’m glad. Lots of others have not. I’m glad for folks to be able to get out or away before things sour, and for the people for whom it never sours, count yourselves lucky.

[otto-pilot]

Almost a year I’ve been away, and this shit is still happening?!?

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

It never stops, sadly.

[alaric1960]

I replied to a hypnosis question warning about the potentials of abuse. This is an example, and one reason I withdrew from the community.

I had my own run-in with NNPP, after I spent a few months with a victim helping her put her mind back together, I realized that either it would be all out war, or I would have to distance myself.

I have chronic depression; starting a campaign I might not finish would have been foolish.

Beware of fuckbois BEFORE you let curiosity have you listening to an unvetted file.

And @pruningthemindsgarden IS a hypnopaladin. Here he demonstrates why he’s someone I continued to follow when I left.

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, @alaric1960 :)

[marnathas]

He is insidiously vindictive, and will both go out of his way to harm people he’s had problems with, and engineer lies to spread about them. He’s been going after Wiseguy whenever given the chance since that big argument thingie near the start of the year and it’s rather disgusting.

[strikethanatos]

Why I Left The Hypno/BDSM Basement

Many of you don’t know me. I apologize for that. I have a hard time being social in large groups, so I just don’t do it. My bad. If you do know me, it’s probably as a moderator of any of a number of hypnosis servers on Discord, including The Hypnotic Speakeasy, of which I am the proprietor, and for a short while The Hypno/BDSM Basement. I quit the mod team and left there recently, and I think you deserve to know why.

See, to me, power has a function: to protect. We who have power are bound by an inescapable duty use it to protect those who do not have it, and that is especially important in the hypnosis community, because the potential harms that arise from us falling down on the job are much more severe. Make no mistake. Hypnosis can absolutely ruin lives. We lie to ourselves that we can’t be made to do something we didn’t want to do in the first place, but famously, there was a hypnotist during the Cold War who hypnotized someone into robbing a bank, claiming that it was his duty to do so to fight Communism.

Because some hypnotists have that power to change more than we should, we have to constantly be on guard to make sure that we are doing what is in the best interests of our subjects, especially given that so few of us are trained therapists. However, we all fail. We all make mistakes. And when we do, it is our duty to ourselves and those whom we have wronged to apologize where possible, to right our wrongs where possible, and to learn from what we did. I am not saying that one bad mistake should necessarily get one exiled forever. What I am saying, however, is that forgiveness should not be given freely, but earned.

The decision to allow MindEraser, also known as NeuralNetsandPrettyPatterns, to remain in the Basement, fully cognizant of his abuses against the greater hypnosis community, is in a word inexcusable. He has not apologized. He has not admitted that anything he did was wrong, much less any specific thing. He just “wants the past to be the past.” No matter what he says, he has not learned. He is still trying to twist consent to mean what it doesn’t. He is still summoning internet mobs to attack people and coerce institutions he dislikes. He uses the same tools to try to get his way that he has always used in the past. Anyone remember when he got banned from every hypnosis convention in North America and Europe, and how he had people go to con committees to tell them what a swell guy he is? Or when he asked followers on Tumblr to appeal the decision to tag his account as being NSFW en masse? Or when he’s dragged people into the main chat of the Pattern Palace to have them explain to everyone why they questioned some decision of his? When he continues to use the same methods, why should you ever believe that he himself has changed?

Here is my issue with him. He has proven time and time again to be predatory and vindictive. He denies responsibility for the consequences of his actions, claiming that it is the responsibility of the subject to reject inappropriate suggestions. He says this, even though anyone with even a basic knowledge of the hypnosis community knows that some people are more suggestible than others, that some people respond more to suggestions than others do, and that some people are less able to reject suggestions than others. Knowing this, he’s released a file that told listeners things like, “You’re gonna forget those other women (men)”, “They are never as good as me”, “They are never as good as me”. (Source: https://kallie-den.tumblr.com/post/171704815843/thesecretsubject-kallie-den-hypdom-this)

That was inexcusable.

And what was his response? To call anyone who was concerned about this a “white knight with something to gain”, to deflect any and all blame, to deny responsibility for what happens to subjects who listen to his files. (Source: https://thesecretsubject.tumblr.com/post/171650964672/note-to-the-hypnosis-community) That is inexcusable.

By that ethical standard, it is impossible to blame hypnotists for harm caused by their suggestions to subjects. And yet, we all know, that as artists, that as creators, that as hypnotists, when we make something we take responsibility for what it does. We ought to warn people about its’ serious consequences. And when we fail to uphold these simple, basic expectations, then we ought to take personal responsibility for these actions.

Neither has happened.

What followed has been a year and a half of witch hunting of any and all people who show basic human decency and concern for their subjects, and the result was that he rebranded himself as MindEraser on Discord and other platforms to distance himself from the controversy.

So, yeah, when he showed up in the Basement, I had concerns. I relayed them to the owner, and spoke to others. He was banned, for a few hours.

But then I was told that he just wanted to “let the past be past.” That I should be “neutral” and “impartial”.

That is not my duty as a moderator, on any platform. My duty is a firm and unwavering responsibility to the community as a whole. To seek out and eliminate predators and those whose actions hurt the health of the community. To, in this era of finally questioning the reign of cultures that tolerate and encourage sexual harassment and exploitation, believing victims. To listen to people seeking justice, and acting on their behalf.

My duty is not to ignore such infamous abusers. In fact, the night before this came up, we collectively yeeted a predator on far less well documented grounds than these. So, where, in the name of justice, is it writ that we are obligated to forgive anyone who seeks it? What responsibility do I have, as a hypnotist, as a creator, as a moderator, as a man, do I have to forgive abusers who have hurt my friends and levied bizarre and false accusations against me?

Presented with this false choice, I came to the conclusion that I had no moral choice but to leave the Basement behind, and furthermore, that I have to remove the moderator who made that choice to tell me to be “impartial” from the Speakeasy.

I’ll be taking care of myself and my server. In the mean time, if you want me, find me at the Hypnotic Speakeasy. I’ll be around. https://discord.gg/dtdTHUJ

[hypnomindstorm]

I highly support this. Honestly, I’m amazed that people keep letting NNPP in places with all the controversy he has caused and his complete lack of remorse for any of it. But hey, what do I know, right?

[hypdom-deactivated20210221]

My long-time followers know much of this nnpp history, but this is a good and accurate compilation. In addition, for the new people or anyone in the back, you should read this. Following the nnpp tag below will take you to the history of Feather, one of the audio files referenced in this piece. The guy is abusive and predatory through and through. Don’t trust a word he says.

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

NeuralNets/MindEraser/BimboVirus/Petruccio(?)/[insert pseudonym here] is, if not the worst (because there ARE worse), one of the most tenaciously and perniciously negative influences on the hypnokink community. Problems caused directly by him, and some by others, are why I do much of the work I do to protect subs and advocate for a culture shift to disincentivize his sort of abusive behavior. I get that a lot of people like him - I may not agree, obvs, but I understand it is thus regardless of how I feel - but I cannot stand to let the damage he causes go unremarked or unaddressed, regardless of the heat I take for it.

If you have had an unequivocally positive experience with him, great! I’m glad. Lots of others have not. I’m glad for folks to be able to get out or away before things sour, and for the people for whom it never sours, count yourselves lucky.

[otto-pilot]

Almost a year I’ve been away, and this shit is still happening?!?

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

It never stops, sadly.

[alaric1960]

I replied to a hypnosis question warning about the potentials of abuse. This is an example, and one reason I withdrew from the community.

I had my own run-in with NNPP, after I spent a few months with a victim helping her put her mind back together, I realized that either it would be all out war, or I would have to distance myself.

I have chronic depression; starting a campaign I might not finish would have been foolish.

Beware of fuckbois BEFORE you let curiosity have you listening to an unvetted file.

And @pruningthemindsgarden IS a hypnopaladin. Here he demonstrates why he’s someone I continued to follow when I left.

[pruningthemindsgarden-deactivat]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, @alaric1960 :)

[jukeboxemcsa]

The Abuser’s Toolkit

(Crossposted from https://jukeboxemcsa.wordpress.com/2019/08/25/the-abusers-toolkit/)

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 112 heroically supportive Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

Recently, there’s been some discussion of the behavior of a predatory hypnotist in the community - the linked piece was written for FetLife, which deletes posts that name predators, but the author’s since reblogged it to clarify that the person under discussion is Nimja, and I would like it to be absolutely clear that I believe the many well-documented allegations against this person, and I do not believe that he is a safe person to learn from or play with.

But because it’s sadly all too common for someone like this to disappear, only to pop up under a new screen name a few years later once everyone’s forgotten about them, I was thinking about using the well-written piece above as a springboard to write down some of my own thoughts about “red flags” for predatory hypnotists and/or dominants. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that all of my red flags could be reduced down to a single tactic that had multiple manifestations: Pressure. Human beings don’t make good decisions under pressure, and abusive people (and this is by no means limited to hypnosis, or even kink) use that by creating a pressure-filled situation around all of the decisions you need to make. I’m going to discuss a few examples, but these are all just ways that abusers create that emotionally pressurized atmosphere. The key thing, which I cannot stress enough, is to get used to recognizing that underlying emotional sensation before you wind up in a situation where it becomes important.

One of the most frequent kinds of pressure an abuser applies is time pressure. They will prompt you to make a decision immediately, either with a direct deadline or the implication of a limit on their schedule/patience/whatever, forcing you to accept their terms or lose the opportunity to get hypnotized (or bound, or flogged, or whatever it is they’re offering). They do this because they know that once you’ve said yes to something, it’s going to be that much harder to subsequently back out and change that yes to a no.

That’s because of another major form of pressure, social pressure. We are all, to some extent, socialized to go along with group consensus and do what others are doing. Human beings are social animals, we have adopted this as a survival strategy since we were lemurs, and setting aside all of the evo-psych bullshit that comes along with saying “the brain is hardwired to…”, the human brain really is hardwired to agree with the group. Abusers will try to use this to their advantage by surrounding you with a group that already agrees with them, isolating you from your support network, and presenting you with their opinions in a form that challenges you to disagree. (Gaslighting is basically a one-on-one form of social pressure.)

That challenge can escalate into another distinct form of pressure, what I think of as confrontational pressure. This is where they make it as uncomfortable as possible for you to say no to them - not necessarily with overt threats of violence, although most abusers do eventually escalate to that point, but with displays of temper, verbal expressions of disdain, petulance, and a variety of emotional abuse inflicted on you when you do something that doesn’t accord with their decisions. You may not be the target of this emotional abuse - many abusers threaten self-harm if their dictums aren’t followed. But your refusal to comply will always be suggested as the cause.

(One important thing to remember about this is that the abuser is not likely to respond with proportional intensity. Intermittent reinforcement is the most powerful training tool operant conditioning has to offer, and the abuser will use that by reacting with very intense anger to relatively small things, or kindness and “forgiveness” to very big things. The state they want you in is to imagine that any disagreement at all could prompt the next explosion, and to police yourself accordingly.)

A particular danger for the kink community, especially with “big name” hypnotists like Nimja, is competitive pressure. This is as simple as it is cruel; the abuser creates the impression, either implicitly or explicitly, that you’re in competition with others for their favors and that the only way to continue receiving their attention is to abnegate those facets of your personality that don’t suit their desires. It’s especially common among kink celebrities, well-known riggers or convention organizers or the like - they’re able to very easily create an atmosphere where new people in the community feel special for being singled out for their attentions, not realizing that they’re being selected precisely because they’re not integrated into the community well enough to know about the abuser’s patterns of behavior. (This is also a form of social pressure. Many of these overlap and interact.)

Another kind of pressure that has a strong interaction with competitive and social pressure is transactional pressure. This is your basic guilt trip; the abuser provides you with something, usually without asking, and then attempts to extract something from you in exchange for the thing of value they provided. The most obvious example is, “I hypnotized you, but you don’t want to have sex with me?”, but really this is a staple tactic of abusers everywhere because it’s so insidious and plays on people’s sense of fairness. If you have a boss who buys lunch for the office, then a couple days later starts asking people to work through their breaks, you’re seeing transactional pressure at work. (Literally as well as figuratively.)

One other form of pressure I feel like I absolutely have to mention, primarily because a lot of the same people who study “covert hypnosis” tactics also study pick-up artist techniques, is oppositional pressure. This is a form of social pressure, but it’s a little bit more subtle and insidious; instead of presenting a positive group consensus that you’re expected to go along with to gain the approval of the group, the abuser presents a negative stereotype that you’re expected to defy to gain the approval of the group. “When I saw your picture, I really thought you were going to be a huge prude” is the kind of statement that sets out a clear pattern of behavior that the abuser wants you to avoid, in the hopes that you’ll overcompensate by adopting a pattern of behavior more to their liking.

There are almost certainly more - I don’t pretend to be an expert at this, and I honestly kind of hate understanding it as well as I do. But the most important thing to take away is that all of them are trying to create that same feeling, a sense of stress and emotional discomfort with a clear strategy for relief, namely going along with the abuser’s wishes. This is how they operate. This is how they’re going to operate from the very beginning to the very end of your relationship with them. They won’t start out with the dial turned all the way up to 11; the pressure will begin with small things, and only gradually escalate to the big horrible stuff. But it will be there right from the start.

Fortunately, that’s also a good way to recognize them. There’s a famous book, The Gift of Fear, that discusses some specific signs and predictors of physical and emotional violence, but I think that “the gift of stress” is every bit as good a description. If you find that the person you’re talking to is making you anxious and upset when you don’t do what they wanted, if it feels like they’re demanding or critical or strict, if you find yourself worried about what they’ll do if you say “no” to them… that’s a sign. Things are not going to get better from there. It is never too early to back out of an interaction you feel uncomfortable with, and you do not need a reason. (Oh, and there’s another form of pressure right there. “I just want to know why you’ve stopped talking to me!” The answer is never going to be good enough for the abuser. Don’t even bother saying it.)

I know that cutting off contact with an abuser isn’t always an option. If it’s available, though, it’s the best option. It’s certainly the safest. If it’s not available, though… the only thing I can suggest is to try to put the pressure back on them. Use these same tactics against them if you can. Build up a support network of people who won’t let them get away with it, make them as uncomfortable as possible when they challenge you, call them out as an abuser and force them to go against the negative stereotype of the creepy jerk. It probably won’t make them change their behavior, but it may at least make them look for another target. Sometimes, sadly enough, that’s all you can hope for.

[toastclear]

Thanks for this post!

I’m curious, would you say that all (or most) predatory behaviour is conscious? I ask because you state predators choose victims by how easy they are to control. Or that they want to make you feel like any little misstep could cause an explosion. Would you say that is a conscious decision, or rather a pattern they might not even be aware of?

[jukeboxemcsa]

That’s an interesting question! I’ll admit, I try not to focus on that, because I don’t necessarily think it’s a productive area of discussion when it comes to abuse. Whether the abuser is aware of their patterns of behavior or not, they’re still not likely to change them and it still produces the same effect on their victim. I feel like the best way to proceed is to focus first and foremost on minimizing harm, and if the abuser at some future point decides to do the self-work they need to fix themselves, that’s something they can do with a licensed therapist.

Putting the emphasis on “why do they do what they do” isn’t always going to make it stop, and many abusers genuinely want their victims to be thinking about the psychology behind their tactics… because again, the easiest way for a victim to placate an abuser is to give them what they want.

[taylortheslut-deactivated201910]

To young women in the BDSM community:

Being young and a woman in the BDSM scene is fun.

Sure, you’ve got a flooded inbox of guys wanting to play with you and a seemingly endless fountain of opportunities. Hell, even some guys may want to buy you things! But, before you get to the fun, you really need to make sure you’re safe. It would be kind of embarrassing to be found dead in a ditch with pink fluffy handcuffs on (or worse). Here’s some advice I’d like to give to girls first starting out, possibly looking into their first BDSM relationship.

Don’t settle for the first self-proclaimed Dom to walk into your inbox!

Sure, it’s enticing. But, you really have to examine the person you’re going to give your trust too first. This is the person you’re going to give your control over to (temporarily) and you have to be sure that they’re 1) trustworthy 2) not trying to manipulate you just for sex and 3) a good person. Because at the end of the day, a BDSM dynamic is more of a relationship than just sex.

Someone may come into your inbox, say that they’re compatible with your kinks and want to make your fantasies true, but you have to look at it rationally. Don’t let your hormones take over your decision.

You’re young. You have so much time to find a good dynamic/relationship, don’t rush into it. But also, dip your toes in the water and find out what you like!

Always be on the lookout for the red flags.

If you feel that weird uncertain feeling in your gut, say bye, Felicia!

Here are some common ones.

Young Doms tend to have more red flags as they’re more inexperienced (not always, this is a generalization).

If they don’t ask for your ID before playing with them, that could also be a red flag. As a 19-year-old with babyface, every good Dom I’ve had has asked for it in advance. Consider it a green flag if they do.

If they aren’t concerned about your safety as a young woman, that’s a serious red flag.

Your safety comes before EVERYTHING.

Always make sure to text at least one friend the address of where you’re going to be going beforehand.

Meet up before playing just for a coffee date. If they’re not willing to go on a lil date with you beforehand and just want to play right away, get the hell out of there! Make sure it’s in a public space. Never meet up with someone directly at their house.

Check that they’re STD free and/or use the correct protection.

Always play with a safe word.

Optional: bring pepper spray or a knife with you, just in case.

Talk with them at least a week in advance to playing. If they aren’t willing to put in that effort, drop ‘em.

Make sure they know and respect your limits.

Have a friend call you 30 minutes into your first play-date. If you’re in trouble, pretend that they’re your sibling and you have to go help. (This has helped me before, I was roofied without my knowledge and was uncomfortable with the guy so when my friend called me it was a saving grace. It wasn’t 30 minutes after until I was driving when it kicked in. Yikes.)

And lastly, make sure it’s the right person.

Your first BDSM dynamic is special! Hell, every dynamic is special. Make sure you’re not just looking to get spanked and slapped around by anyone, make sure you have the right Dom.

There are sooooo many girls who have rushed into BDSM that have found themselves in the lap of an abuser. Make sure you’re in the lap of a caring person who also shares your kinks and is willing to do them with you safely!

I probably sound like your mom lecturing you but, as a 19-year-old girl, these are the things I’d wish I would have listened to. And remember, you can always say no. Use it like it’s your goddamn superpower.

Feel free to put your own advice below to the post to help out!

[turnouthenight]

This is so important for new and experienced kinksters alike to read/understand. Kink blogs on Tumblr should post things like this regularly, IMO. I just wanna add a little bit, that might be repeating a little bit:

Take as much time getting to know a person as you need. If it’s a week, 2 weeks, or a month, with multiple casual meet-ups before you ever play, that’s okay! Never do anything if you feel pressured or uncomfortable, and take things at your own pace.

Taking advice from other kinksters can be tricky, because everyone is different, and has varying levels of comfort/experience. Sometimes being new to the lifestyle, you don’t know who to really listen to. At the end of the day, BDSM is governed by your consent alone. If you don’t like/want something, that is okay. (Anal, being degraded, being slapped, comments about your physical appearance, knife play, dd/lg, pet play, being a 24/7 slave etc.) It doesnt matter what it is, if you don’t like it or don’t want it, you are a valid sub.

You’re not a bad submissive for declining something, or disagreeing with someone. No dom has any control that was not given to them by their sub. Anyone who says otherwise is not someone you want around.

You are the one who gets to define what your BDSM experience will be. Starting out, you may not know what you like or what’s possible, and want to try new things.. thats the best part! But after all is said and done, the only correct decisions are the ones that make you feel happy and safe.

Your safety and happiness, however you decide it to be, is the most important thing. Everything else will fall into place if you follow that rule. Be safe out there, and have fun. 🖤

[mrositonegro-deactivated2020110]

Ding… as a newbie dom I approve this message

[thehypnobunny]

[h-sleepingirl]

“9 Persisting Misconceptions About Hypnosis”

A zine by sleepingirl and GleefulAbandon

(Access the downloadable and nicely formatted Google Doc here!)

Hey, there! Have you been turned on to the wonders of hypnokink? Do you feel like you’ve just had a bucket of shibboleths and tips and bits of wisdom dumped over your head, and they are now slowly dripping down your back? Are you thinking to yourself, “OK, I am finally getting the hang of this erotic hypnosis thing?”

Not so fast! Odds are a lot of the information you’ve received is, while given in good faith, mired in assumptions about the nature of hypnosis and the human mind that are not empirically true! And the kicker about a practice that takes advantage of suggestibility is that buying into these can make them more true! How’s that for a mental rut?

Here are 9 myths about hypnosis you are likely to encounter in your freaky journey!

(Full disclosure: We are experienced hypnotic players who are constantly exploring and growing, and we recognize that not everyone may share our perspective on all of these. But when we accept the oft-repeated principles we hear as incontrovertible truth without questioning them, we risk building a wall between us and further learning about the amazing, weird things we can do with our brains! This is not meant to disparage any person for their beliefs or experiences, and we welcome feedback and discussion!)

Keep reading

[marnathas]

Perfectly said!

[marnathas]

A nice reminder to people that when you’re messing with someone and have them subby and halfway to trance, THEY DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO FUCKING CONSENT PROPERLY TO SEXUAL AND/OR BRAINWASHING STUFF. And if your response to seeing that situation as someone running the place it’s happening in is to ignore that and give excuses such as “she was clearly wanting it”, “well it’s already happened and over with”, or “oh maybe they’ve taken it private now so it’s fine”, then I hope you aren’t surprised when the concerned people watching decide that space isn’t safe for people to be in... Yes I’m fucking angrish and ranting. Deal with it.

[marnathas]

Alright, time to talk more hypnokink. It’s been a while. :P So in the past I’ve talked about some of the basic things you can do with hypnosis (here), and then using those to build some…