CAN THE KILLER IN ME TAME THE FIRE IN YOU?

i am a sinner, who’s probably going to sin again.

[martyrmurdock]

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃

♡ percy. twenties. they/she.

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𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

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[martyrmurdock]

will expand on this thought at some point but thinking of being in an established relationship with jack abbot and somehow you get on the topic of robby and jack brings up how he's been more snappy and stressed as of late. you joke that maybe he needs to get laid, which gets jack thinking that that's not a bad idea. which somehow turns into you and jack inviting robby over to fuck the stress out of him

[martyrmurdock]

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒

♡ pairing: jack abbot x gn reader

♡ word count: .7k

♡ tags: focus is on jack's deceased wife, mentions of jack's involvement with swat/getting shot at

The cemetery is quiet save for the rustle of the leaves overhead as a gentle breeze rolls through the air. The sun is nowhere to be found, hidden behind the clouds looming in the sky far above. The soft damp of the Earth gives way beneath your shoes as you gingerly make your way through the graveyard. It is not your first time here nor will it be your last. There are not many visiting the cemetery at this hour of the morning, but those who are there paying their respects lift their heads and give you a polite nod as you pass by. You return their greetings with a small lift of the corners of your lips.

You come to a stop in front of a headstone that has now become as familiar to you as an old friend. You bend down into a crouch and dust off the debris that's collected on the surface of the smooth granite in the time you've been away. The fallen leaves and dust float in the air as they fall onto the ground.

"Good morning, Mrs. A."

You gather the wilting flowers in the stone vase attached to the headstone and lay them on the grass by your feet. You'll dispose of them properly when you leave later. You reach an arm into your bag and produce the bundle of fresh flowers that you purchased on your way to the cemetery this morning. Carefully, you place them inside of the vase and arrange them until you're satisfied with the way they sit. The splashes of yellow, orange, and red of the poppies add warmth to the otherwise grayness of the headstone.

"It's a bit dreary this morning as iIm sure you already know. I'm hoping that the sky will clear up by this afternoon, but I'm not hopeful. I'm just hoping that it won't up and start pouring, I didn't pack an umbrella or a raincoat when I left the house this morning."

You look up at the sky and squint. It's an overcast day with grey clouds filling up the entire sky in every direction you look. You cast your gaze back down at the headstone in front of you.

"Not much is going on in my life. It's the same old, same old," you brush away imaginary dust on top of the smooth surface of the cool granite. Almost affectionately, you rub your hand around the rounded edge of it. "Jack's doing good if you were wondering. Well, as good as a man like him can be doing." A small huff of laughter escapes you. You're sure she knows all too well what kind of man Jack Abbot is. "He's still going to therapy regularly. Does his best to keep active as well. He gets restless not doing anything, but I finally got him to take up something else rather than serving as a medic with SWAT. No more getting shot at for him," you say lightly before letting silence settle. The whistling of the wind and the hushed voices of others visiting their loved ones is all that can be heard.

Quieter, as if what you are to say is something just to be kept between you and her with no other privy to the matter, you say, "Doing my best to take care of our guy."

You don't get a response. You didn't expect to.

You chance a glance at your watch. It's time for you to get going soon. You look back up, your eyes tracing over the words engraved into the solid granite. Forever in our hearts. Loving daughter and wife.

"I have to get going, but it was nice chatting with you today, Mrs. A."

You grab the bundle of wilted flowers off the ground to toss on your way out and push yourself up onto your feet. You wince at the ache that's settled in your knees from being in a crouched position for far too long before looking down again.

"I'll come by again soon," you promise, "Probably with Jack whenever his next day off is."

You fluff up the fresh set of flowers you've placed in the vase once more before heading towards the exit of the cemetery. The clouds have begun to part and streams of sunlight make their way through the rustling leaves. There is a buzz in your pocket, and you snake your phone out. The smile that forms on your lips is unbidden when you see the notification you've received.

Jack: Morning Sweetheart ❤️ My shift just finished, so I should be heading home soon. Want me to pick us up some breakfast?

[threadbare-sweater]

You always leave the porch light on for him.

It's been months now. Months without a text, a call; not even a chance encounter, though you can't say you haven't been hopeful for one.

It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" breakup, though if you're completely honest with yourself, it wasn't really a breakup because what existed between you and Robby wasn't really anything of substance.

Not to him, anyway. At least that's what he tells himself when he worries that he broke your heart.

You always leave the porch light on for him.

He drives by every night on his way home from the hospital. Slows down just a little. Contemplates stopping, but can't bring himself to reopen the wound. Pinches the bridge of his nose, rolls his shoulders, and hits the gas.

Inside, you go about your life as if he was never part of it. Folding towels or making dinner, curled up with a book on the couch or watering your plants. There are dozens of tasks to choose from at any given moment, and they all make you think of Robby. He may not have been a part of your every day life and all the mundane little things that you do to fill your time, but you often did those things to take your mind off of him when he wasn't around.

"I'll be late tonight." A voicemail, a text. There was always a difficult case, an emergency that needed his expertise. He wasn't yours, of course. You never should have felt entitled to his time, but somewhere along the way, you did. You made him food that didn't come from a vending machine. You did his laundry and made sure he got adequate sleep and coaxed him to cut back on caffeine.

Another text.

<- dont wait up. might just go home tonite

-> miss you. porch light is on. ♥️

How many times did you wait for him? How many times did you tell yourself this would be the last time?

A conversation over coffee, a few mornings later. We really can't do this anymore. I love you, but...

You believe him. You're angry with yourself that you didn't have the strength to tell him first. To cut him out of your life, even though he never really settled there fully in the first place. It's not fair. It's not you, it's him. So why does it feel like there's a hole in your chest that he made and never bothered to fill it in?

You always leave the porch light on for him.

[martyrmurdock]

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒

♡ pairing: jack abbot x gn reader

♡ word count: .7k

♡ tags: focus is on jack's deceased wife, mentions of jack's involvement with swat/getting shot at

The cemetery is quiet save for the rustle of the leaves overhead as a gentle breeze rolls through the air. The sun is nowhere to be found, hidden behind the clouds looming in the sky far above. The soft damp of the Earth gives way beneath your shoes as you gingerly make your way through the graveyard. It is not your first time here nor will it be your last. There are not many visiting the cemetery at this hour of the morning, but those who are there paying their respects lift their heads and give you a polite nod as you pass by. You return their greetings with a small lift of the corners of your lips.

You come to a stop in front of a headstone that has now become as familiar to you as an old friend. You bend down into a crouch and dust off the debris that's collected on the surface of the smooth granite in the time you've been away. The fallen leaves and dust float in the air as they fall onto the ground.

"Good morning, Mrs. A."

You gather the wilting flowers in the stone vase attached to the headstone and lay them on the grass by your feet. You'll dispose of them properly when you leave later. You reach an arm into your bag and produce the bundle of fresh flowers that you purchased on your way to the cemetery this morning. Carefully, you place them inside of the vase and arrange them until you're satisfied with the way they sit. The splashes of yellow, orange, and red of the poppies add warmth to the otherwise grayness of the headstone.

"It's a bit dreary this morning as iIm sure you already know. I'm hoping that the sky will clear up by this afternoon, but I'm not hopeful. I'm just hoping that it won't up and start pouring, I didn't pack an umbrella or a raincoat when I left the house this morning."

You look up at the sky and squint. It's an overcast day with grey clouds filling up the entire sky in every direction you look. You cast your gaze back down at the headstone in front of you.

"Not much is going on in my life. It's the same old, same old," you brush away imaginary dust on top of the smooth surface of the cool granite. Almost affectionately, you rub your hand around the rounded edge of it. "Jack's doing good if you were wondering. Well, as good as a man like him can be doing." A small huff of laughter escapes you. You're sure she knows all too well what kind of man Jack Abbot is. "He's still going to therapy regularly. Does his best to keep active as well. He gets restless not doing anything, but I finally got him to take up something else rather than serving as a medic with SWAT. No more getting shot at for him," you say lightly before letting silence settle. The whistling of the wind and the hushed voices of others visiting their loved ones is all that can be heard.

Quieter, as if what you are to say is something just to be kept between you and her with no other privy to the matter, you say, "Doing my best to take care of our guy."

You don't get a response. You didn't expect to.

You chance a glance at your watch. It's time for you to get going soon. You look back up, your eyes tracing over the words engraved into the solid granite. Forever in our hearts. Loving daughter and wife.

"I have to get going, but it was nice chatting with you today, Mrs. A."

You grab the bundle of wilted flowers off the ground to toss on your way out and push yourself up onto your feet. You wince at the ache that's settled in your knees from being in a crouched position for far too long before looking down again.

"I'll come by again soon," you promise, "Probably with Jack whenever his next day off is."

You fluff up the fresh set of flowers you've placed in the vase once more before heading towards the exit of the cemetery. The clouds have begun to part and streams of sunlight make their way through the rustling leaves. There is a buzz in your pocket, and you snake your phone out. The smile that forms on your lips is unbidden when you see the notification you've received.

Jack: Morning Sweetheart ❤️ My shift just finished, so I should be heading home soon. Want me to pick us up some breakfast?

[martyrmurdock]

part one

"if you'll excuse us for just a moment," dr. ellis says, holding up a finger. her smile is polite but flimsy and it quickly fades as she and jack disappear from view as swiftly as they appeared as the curtain to your room is drawn shut once more.

ellis waits until she’s confident that they’re out of your ear shot to turn towards abbot. she raises a questioning brow at her attending.

“i thought your wife passed away.”

“she did,” abbot confirms.

they come to a stop not far from your room.

ellis folds her arms over her chest and tilts her head. she’s not going to let this go that easily. she normally tries not to poke and prod too much into other people’s business (doesn’t need anybody doing it to her), but when her colleague’s drama is handed on a silver fucking platter to her? well, she has to know what’s going on.

“so, who is that then?”

“my first wife.”

ellis blinks before her eyes widen in surprise.

“your first wife?” she echoes. she was under the impression that abbot was married only once, he's only ever talked about his deceased wife, but that’s clearly not the case considering your presence at the pitt as her patient. what are the odds?

abbot looks off in the distance, lost in thought or memories of the past. his hands are shoved deep into the pockets of his pants.

“yep. haven’t seen her in," he shakes his head, contemplative, "almost thirty years give or take,” he estimates as he shifts his weight side to side.

“what happened?” ellis presses.

abbot’s mouth scrunches.

“we were high school sweethearts. got hitched right when we graduated. our folks weren’t too thrilled about that, but we were in love,” he sighs, reminiscing. “kids in love who didn’t know any better and didn’t know anything about what the real world entailed. we tried to make it work but shit happens. we divorced and went our separate ways."

ellis just keeps on learning more and more about her attending tonight. abbot's explanation doesn't really explain your negative reaction to seeing him, but she's not really keen on pushing her luck further.

"damn," she succinctly says. it draws a bark of laughter from abbot. once he settles, ellis' eyes flit down to her watch, noting the time. "well i should get back to her, been keeping her waiting for awhile now."

"i can do it," abbot offers.

ellis raises a brow at him.

"you sure?"

abbot nods.

"yeah, why don't you worry about your other cases? i can take this one."

ellis isn't sure if that's the best idea considering how receptive you were to seeing abbot in the first place, but she's not about to insert herself where she doesn't belong. besides, abbot's her attending. if he wants to take a case off her load, by all means, she'll let him.

"knock yourself out," she says, holding an arm up in the direction of your room. as she watches abbot walk away, all ellis can think is that she's looking forward to telling shen about this when she has a chance.

[martyrmurdock]

it takes longer than a beat for it to truly register. the thin blue curtain to the room you’ve been occupying for the past twenty minutes or so opens with a swoosh, and the doctor that came by earlier, doctor ellis if you recall correctly, along with a face that borders on vaguely familiar enter view. it’s not until dr. ellis introduces the man with her, the night shift attending, that it clicks.

“well, i’ll be damned,” you scoff. the bite in your tone catches both doctors off guard. you were much more agreeable when ellis stopped by to speak to you not too long ago. “if it isn’t jack abbot in the flesh.”

ellis blinks.

“i’m sorry, do you two know each other?” her attention remains on you, but her eyes dart to her attending as she gestures to the space between you.

jack stares at your face for a long while, his gaze heavy and scrutinizing as he tries and piece together who you are and how you know him. you fold your arms over your chest as pinpricks of irritation flare up within you when it takes him longer than you think it should for a glimmer of recognition to spark in his eyes.

“this is my—”

“i’m his ex-wife.”

[martyrmurdock]

part one

"if you'll excuse us for just a moment," dr. ellis says, holding up a finger. her smile is polite but flimsy and it quickly fades as she and jack disappear from view as swiftly as they appeared as the curtain to your room is drawn shut once more.

ellis waits until she’s confident that they’re out of your ear shot to turn towards abbot. she raises a questioning brow at her attending.

“i thought your wife passed away.”

“she did,” abbot confirms.

they come to a stop not far from your room.

ellis folds her arms over her chest and tilts her head. she’s not going to let this go that easily. she normally tries not to poke and prod too much into other people’s business (doesn’t need anybody doing it to her), but when her colleague’s drama is handed on a silver fucking platter to her? well, she has to know what’s going on.

“so, who is that then?”

“my first wife.”

ellis blinks before her eyes widen in surprise.

“your first wife?” she echoes. she was under the impression that abbot was married only once, he's only ever talked about his deceased wife, but that’s clearly not the case considering your presence at the pitt as her patient. what are the odds?

abbot looks off in the distance, lost in thought or memories of the past. his hands are shoved deep into the pockets of his pants.

“yep. haven’t seen her in," he shakes his head, contemplative, "almost thirty years give or take,” he estimates as he shifts his weight side to side.

“what happened?” ellis presses.

abbot’s mouth scrunches.

“we were high school sweethearts. got hitched right when we graduated. our folks weren’t too thrilled about that, but we were in love,” he sighs, reminiscing. “kids in love who didn’t know any better and didn’t know anything about what the real world entailed. we tried to make it work but shit happens. we divorced and went our separate ways."

ellis just keeps on learning more and more about her attending tonight. abbot's explanation doesn't really explain your negative reaction to seeing him, but she's not really keen on pushing her luck further.

"damn," she succinctly says. it draws a bark of laughter from abbot. once he settles, ellis' eyes flit down to her watch, noting the time. "well i should get back to her, been keeping her waiting for awhile now."

"i can do it," abbot offers.

ellis raises a brow at him.

"you sure?"

abbot nods.

"yeah, why don't you worry about your other cases? i can take this one."

ellis isn't sure if that's the best idea considering how receptive you were to seeing abbot in the first place, but she's not about to insert herself where she doesn't belong. besides, abbot's her attending. if he wants to take a case off her load, by all means, she'll let him.

"knock yourself out," she says, holding an arm up in the direction of your room. as she watches abbot walk away, all ellis can think is that she's looking forward to telling shen about this when she has a chance.

[martyrmurdock]

it takes longer than a beat for it to truly register. the thin blue curtain to the room you’ve been occupying for the past twenty minutes or so opens with a swoosh, and the doctor that came by earlier, doctor ellis if you recall correctly, along with a face that borders on vaguely familiar enter view. it’s not until dr. ellis introduces the man with her, the night shift attending, that it clicks.

“well, i’ll be damned,” you scoff. the bite in your tone catches both doctors off guard. you were much more agreeable when ellis stopped by to speak to you not too long ago. “if it isn’t jack abbot in the flesh.”

ellis blinks.

“i’m sorry, do you two know each other?” her attention remains on you, but her eyes dart to her attending as she gestures to the space between you.

jack stares at your face for a long while, his gaze heavy and scrutinizing as he tries and piece together who you are and how you know him. you fold your arms over your chest as pinpricks of irritation flare up within you when it takes him longer than you think it should for a glimmer of recognition to spark in his eyes.

“this is my—”

“i’m his ex-wife.”

[martyrmurdock]

instagram posts while you're in a relationship with jack abbot and samira mohan

♡ note: first instagram smau!

♡ pairing: jack abbot x gn reader x samira mohan

♡ tags: they/them pronouns used for reader, reader's @ is honey.beee, ellis and shen banter, robby being nosy

[martyrmurdock]

instagram posts while you're in a relationship with jack abbot and samira mohan

♡ note: first instagram smau!

♡ pairing: jack abbot x gn reader x samira mohan

♡ tags: they/them pronouns used for reader, reader's @ is honey.beee, ellis and shen banter, robby being nosy

[martyrmurdock]

The mohabbot x reader smau was sooooooo good!! If you ever get more brainworms for them I'm sat

oh thank you so much, nonnie! i'm glad you liked it ♡ i think you will see more of them in the future, but no promises hehe

[pagesfromthevoid]

Ryland is obsessed with touching you. Not even sexual touching. Just like touching —a hand on your back. Or holding your hand. Playing with your hair.

He’s so touch starved 😭

Oh absolutely

The moment you give him the okay (and he’s worked out the first initial awkwardness he feels in himself) that he can touch you whenever —that man doesn’t stop.

It starts because the ship is tiny. The Hail Mary is small, and cramped. And he doesn’t mean to brush against you, or touch your back like that when he tries to move around you. He really doesn’t mean to. But then he does mean to.

And you notice immediately because Ryland isn’t subtle. Even Rocky notices eventually.

“Why Grace touch so much?”

And Ryland gets so flustered and freaked out by the call out. But you just laugh, and tell him it’s okay! You don’t mind. You even like it.

But Ryland thinks, at first, you’re just being nice. So he’s still a little awkward about it. Until you start touching him back. Running a hand through his hair when you walk by. Touching his arm when you’re standing close. And that’s what really makes him realize he misses touching another person —you touching him.

So he doesn’t stop. He has his hand on your lower back when analyzing slides or working. Holding your hand in the mental health room. God, cuddling. He loves cuddling. Lay on his chest, let him hold you. Or reverse it —he loves laying on you. Loves being held.

[martyrmurdock]

hi my loves, with the influx of engagement (which i’m very appreciative for), i wanted to remind folks that i will block you if you’re a minor or don’t have an age indicator on your blog ♡

[martyrmurdock]

contact in case of emergencies

♡ what makes a home series ♡

♡ pairing: med student!jack abbot x grad student!gn reader x med student!michael “robby” robinavitch

♡ tags: roommate au!, younger jack abbot and michael “robby” robinavitch

[martyrmurdock]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄

♡ summary: vignettes of what life looks like as a graduate student living with medical students jack abbot and michael “robby” robinavitch

♡ pairing: med student!jack abbot x grad student!gn reader x med student!michael “robby” robinavitch

♡ tags: roommate!au, younger jack abbot and michael “robby” robinavitch, pre-canon, slice of life, will add more tags as time progresses

♡ SMAUS ♡

♡ contact in case of emergencies

♡ DRABBLES ♡

coming soon…

[martyrmurdock]

is there going to be more rabbot x reader smau? pretty plsssss

hi there nonnie! thank you so much for asking and for expressing interest!! there will be more rabbot x reader smau!! i don't have any wips rn but i def will get around to making more <3