She/Her |20| Just a bi, really random girl Marvel fan | love to interact with people!!!! ☆ Asks/Dm's opened ☆ Cis/het men DNI- ♡everyone else is welcomed♡
☆ Welcome to my chaotic, really random, little corner of the internet ☆
☆ I love talking and meeting new people, so feel free to send asks or dms so we can chat and have a little fun ☆
☆ Please do not flirt or send me sexual asks/dms. Even if it is in a platonic or playful way, i want to set and keep the boundaries clear that i do not feel comfortable with such and won't be interacting ☆
☆ Compliments or cute asks like "hope you have a good day" or "i like your blog/it's cute" are totally welcomed and appreciated ☆
☆ I won't be sharing any personal pictures, besides maybe occasional outfits or so ☆
☆ Keep in mind that I am taken and in a long-term, commited relationship- so every interaction is solely platonic and innocent ☆
☆ But PLEASE SEND ASKS, even if you rather it be anon. I absolutely love talking with people and it makes me happyy- (please keep it appropriate) ☆
☆ If you want to be added to the anon list, just send your age, pronouns and an emogi i can identify you with ☆
☆ You can call me: Nena. sweetheart, sweetie, honey or darling- (unless you are someone that i trust, like a moot, whom i have established smth with before) ☆
☆ You can find my posts under #nena yapping, reblogs- #nena reblogs, and bit of both under #nena thoughts ☆
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
☆ DNI list- Men. Racists. homophobes transphobes, pedophiles, zionists, Pro-ICE etc. Pretty basic DNI's. Just don't be weird or a creep. Be a good person and we good ☆
Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
I don't know if I can ask but if you don't want to answer you can just delete this message but do you know what happened to @windowofchaosx?
He deleted his acc at certain point and then created a new one, that one got put down and now he has a new one. If you want to know what it is you can dm me or he'll just reply to this post xx
could you write a oneshot about avenger reader, who always wears those tactical suits that covers up their neck, and then the one time they take it off (its damaged/dirty/bloody/they thought they were alone/etc) the avengers find out reader has a massive scar on their neck, revealing that someone slit their throat (in the past, the scar is healed)?
tragic backstory ensues. I'll let you choose what it is. Teehee.
fluff+angst, g/n reader, nobody dies au, happy ending? thanks a million! >–<
Gentle Touch
Warning: mention of past abuse, mention of past sexual assault, kind of cheating (Maria is fine with it), kissing, drinking, angst with a happy ending
Relationships: Maria x Natasha x reader
Word Count: 3.8K
The drink from the bartender stayed untouched as you played with the condensation rolling down the glass. Honestly, you weren’t sure why you were still here. There was a tiredness that seeped deep into your bones. After returning from a 3-day solo mission, all you wanted to do was climb under the blankets in your bed. But there was a party, and you had to make sure you showed your face. In another 10 minutes, you would excuse yourself. “Well, there you are,” the usually sultry tone of Natasha would make you smile. It could pull you out of any funk, but not tonight. “I thought you were ignoring us.”
Us. Her and Maria. The couple had been together since their early SHIELD days, and for some reason, they wanted you to join. You kept them at arm’s length away. Sure, you flirted with them, thrived under the attention, but you never gave them more. “I could never ignore you, Red.” Without a thought, your hand went to her hip and brought her close. You loved the way she willingly came to you and the goosebumps that appeared on her skin.
“Mission went well?” Maria questioned.
“Yes, Deputy Director,” you smirked. “My report is already on your desk.” The brunette smiled.
“Now this is why you’re my favorite.”
“Really?” You questioned. “It wasn’t my good looks and charming personality.” Maria rolled her eyes.
“Timely reports just do it for me.” You chuckled and shook your head.
“You seem tired, Detka,” Natasha said. Her right hand left her drink on the bar and traced the bags underneath your eyes. Her fingers were cold from the ice, and that sent a shiver down your spine.
“Mission was long,” you mumbled. “Might call it early.”
“Are you okay?” Maria asked. Her hand rested on your upper back. This was how it always was. The three of you are touching in some way or another. Natasha’s feet were thrown over you while her head was in Maria’s lap. During meetings, you’d play with the ring on Maria’s hand, tracing each line and scar. It was normal. But tonight it felt wrong. The second Natasha’s fingers touched your face, and Maria’s hand on your back, it felt like it burned. The turtle neck you wore and the closeness of their bodies made you feel claustrophobic.
Natasha was right. You were avoiding them because they were the ones to see through your fake smiles and jokes. “I’m okay,” you said as you stood up from the bar stool, and they stepped back. “Don’t make too many bad choices tonight.”
It was easy to sneak out of the party and venture to your room. Once the door was closed, you shed the turtle neck, and it felt easier to breathe. Sighing, you went to the bathroom and turned on the lights. You kept your eyes down as you brushed your teeth and cleaned your face. Then you had to do the worst part of your routine. You made quick work of it, opening the medicated lotion on your fingers and rubbing it on the scar on your neck.
This wasn’t a small scar, something that was easy to cover up. It ran from one side of your throat to the other. The doctor who saved your life told you the scar would never fully go away. It would serve as a constant reminder of what happened to you.
Once you were satisfied, you washed your hands and crawled into your bed. The scar was always covered, whether it be a turtle neck, a ribbon, or a bandana. No one could see it because no one knew who you were before the Avengers.
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“Something was off with her.” Natasha pulled back the covers to climb into bed next to Maria. “I didn’t get one compliment on my skirt, and I wore it for her.” Maria raised an eyebrow at her.
“I thought you wore it for me.”
“I wore it for both of you.” Maria chuckled and went back to reading the file in her hands. “Is that her mission report?” Natasha asked, then rolled onto her side. Maria hummed. “Well, what does it say?” The brunette sighed.
“Easy in and out. They got the intel and came back.” Maria closed the file and tossed it onto the nightstand.
“Then they omitted something,” the redhead said. Maria brought her into her arms. “Ria, they weren’t themselves tonight.”
“I know,” Maria kissed the top of her head. “But we can’t do anything until they come to us, and when they do, we’ll be ready.”
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Gods, you were exhausted. Nightmares plagued your mind and kept you up. You were a zombie when you woke up. You stared at the bowl of cereal that rested on the counter. “Hey, sweetheart,” Natasha walked behind you with a gentle touch to your back. The sleepless night was getting to you, and you flinched from her touch. “How did you sleep?”
“Fine,” you answered. “Kept waking up.” Natasha poured the coffee into a mug.
“You know you can always come to us if you are having trouble sleeping.”
“You and Maria are gonna tire me out,” you heard Natasha scuff. In a quick motion, Natasha spun you around. Her hands are on either side of you to cage you in. “Damn, Red, I didn’t think this look would do it for you.” You were standing in a hoodie that was 2 sizes too big for you (you were 90% sure it belonged to Thor) and sleep shorts. Like always, a piece of fabric wrapped around your neck like a scarf.
“Something is wrong,” she said. “I know there is.” You frowned.
“Nothing is wrong,” you said simply. “Tasha,” you spoke softly, hand coming up to cup her cheek. It seemed second nature for her to lean into it. “I’m fine. I’d tell you if I wasn’t.”
She snapped out of her haze when you removed your hand. “You omitted something from your report.” She accused you.
“How did you-” you stopped yourself, lips snapped shut. “Don’t do this, Natasha.” Her name felt so foreign on your lips that it sounded like you spoke a different language. She was always Tasha, Red, or Nat. Never Natasha. Her face crumbled slightly. It was a small change that no one would notice besides you, Maria, and maybe her sister. She acted as if you slapped her. You ducked underneath her arm.
“Why did you leave something out of the report?” She questioned.
“Because it didn’t affect the mission or was relevant to it.” Or because you desperately wanted to forget the feeling of their hands on you. It reminded you so much of that night.
“Helen reported no injuries.” She continued.
“I wasn’t injured.” You snapped. No, you weren’t injured. You came damn near close, but you weren’t hurt. The men who grabbed you were a different story. Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose. “I’m fine.” Even the lie wasn’t convincing because it was Natasha who was tearing down the walls you were desperately trying to keep up. The redhead had seen you after nightmares and brutal missions that had left you drained. She and Maria had been there for you like you’ve been there for them.
“I’m not gonna let this go.” And you knew she wouldn’t.
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This time you wore shorts and tight-fitted long sleeves. Instead of the loose fabric around your neck, you traded it for a neck gaiter. The black fabric was pulled up to below your nose. You had this cover-up in a million different colors, wearing it with your tactical suit and during training. The scarves, bandana, and ribbons were a part of you; no one on the team questioned it anymore. Sure, they asked when you first joined the team, and you gave them the same answer you gave everyone - ‘I just like having it covered.’ Yelena said you looked badass.
Over the sound of your fist hitting the sandbags, you heard her footsteps. Maria. You figured you had a good hour before she came to find you after your couple argument with Natasha. She leaned against the wall, hair in a neat bun, and her usual uniform on. She must have had a few meetings this morning. “Like what you see, Director?” You questioned as you caught the sandbag and pulled the gaiter below your mouth.
“You know I do.” You chuckled, pulled the boxing gloves off your hand, and picked up your water bottle.
“Are you here to write me up?” You questioned.
“Withholding information on a mission report is grounds for immediate removal,” you watched as she closed the distance between you and her. Your eyes stayed locked on hers. “It’s important we know everything that occurs during the mission, regardless of whether you feel like it was necessary.”
“Okay,” you simply said, choosing not to elaborate more. Maria sighed your name and went to grab your forearm. Her fingers barely touched you before you flinched away. The brunette’s eyes narrowed her. Her eyes cataloged your movements. You’ve seen this look during meetings as she tried to figure out the missing piece.
“You flinched,” she stated. “You flinched last night and this morning with Natasha.” So she noticed it but chose not to say anything to you. “Who hurt you, baby?”
“Ria,” you whimpered. “Please just let it this go.”
“Okay,” she gave in. “You can come to me with anything. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” you nodded. “Just - just not with this. I’m not ready for that.” You turned on your heels and left the gym, ignoring the heartbroken expression on Maria’s face.
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You had no idea how you found yourself here - sandwiched between Yelena and Wanda at some bar in New York City that the blonde Russian swore by. It was a decent place. Management allowed you to enter through the back and to the right of the VIP area. You were pretty sure Kate was the one to declare a girl’s night out, and she gave you her best puppy dog eyes that seemed impossible to say no to.
The alcohol from the two shots Yelena forced into your hand and the Long Island you were nursing was making you feel warm and a little loose. It was a dangerous combination, especially with Natasha wearing the black dress and Maria the white button-up. You were only human.
The couple came back with another round of shots that you skipped on. “Are you tapping out early?” Yelena yelled in your ear. You winced at the noise.
“Pacing myself.” You replied.
“Are you worried you’ll end up in bed with my sister and Hill?” You slapped the blonde underneath the table.
“You are disgusting.”
“She’s not wrong, though,” you turned your attention to the witch. “You’ve been avoiding them since you got back from Nigeria.” That solo mission was two weeks ago. You’ve done everything to avoid them. Frankly, it was killing you. You missed them so much, and it was your dumb fault. You looked at the other end of the table. Natasha was talking with Carol. Maria had her arm around the redhead’s shoulder, but she was looking at you. She gave you a smile, and you returned it.
Sighing, you fixed the scarf around your neck. “You should just get out of your head and kiss them.” Yelena flicked the center of your forehead. “Simple.”
“Simple,” you repeated, rubbing the spot she flicked. “How’s that advice working for you with Kate? You’re just going to start making out with her.” Even in the low light of the bar, you saw the blush appear on her cheeks. Wanda laughed, trying to hide it behind a drink.
“Shut it, Maximoff,” the blonde snapped. “Maybe we are both idiots.” You tilted your head back as you laughed. That was the most accurate statement you’ve heard in weeks.
“Let me out, Wands,” you said to the witch after you downed half your drink. “I gotta pee.” You squeezed out of the table and maneuvered around the sea of bodies to the bathroom. You locked the door behind you, quickly peed, and went to the sink to wash your hands. When you looked into the mirror, Natasha was standing behind you. “I locked that,” you said. She hummed. “Your girlfriend knows you’re following other people into the bathroom.”
“Figured it was the only place I could talk to you without you running away.”
“I haven’t been running,” you said, drying your hands with the paper towel and throwing it in the trash. You grabbed the door handle as Natasha grabbed your wrist. You stared into her green eyes.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, barely long enough over the bass of the music on the other side. “We’ve missed you.” And gods, you’ve missed them too. You crumpled at how sad she looked.
“Fuck it,” you mumbled. Before she could question it, you pushed her against the door and kissed her. Her body went tense. Then her brain caught up, she relaxed into you, and her arms wrapped around your shoulders. The number of times you’ve thought about kissing the Black Widow was unhealthy. You moved your hands down her sides, squeezed her ass through the dress, and picked her up by her thighs.
Her legs wrapped tightly around your waist as you moved her to the sink to set her down. You moved your lips to her cheek and down her neck. Natasha’s head hit the mirror, giving you more space to work. “We will need to talk,” Natasha said, moaning slightly as you bite down on her neck and soothed it over with her tongue.
“Talk later,” you mumbled against her skin. “Let me have this, baby, please.” You whispered against her lips. “I promise we’ll talk.” Before she could respond, you brought your lips back to hers. You wasted no time deepening the kiss, and you groaned as you felt her tongue meet yours. Natasha was addicted - her natural taste mixed with the alcohol she had. And maybe if you concentrated hard enough, you could taste Maria lingering on her lips. Shit. You were so down bad for these two. The world could end, and you couldn’t care as long as you had them.
Then you were pulled out of a feeling of bliss when you felt the usual tight fabric around your neck come loose and fall between you two. You jumped back, immediately rubbing at your neck that was fully exposed, and panic raced through your body. Natasha narrowed her eyes at the scar on your neck. “How old is that?” She went to touch the skin, but you recoiled away. The redhead whispered your name, but you were already leaving the bathroom.
There was no stopping you. You ignored the call of your name and grabbed your jacket from the back of the booth. “Whoa,” Yelena said. “Where is the -” the blonde stopped herself. “That is a wicked scar.” Again, your hand went to your bare skin. All of their eyes were on you. You had to get the fuck out of here.
You left the bar through the back and disappeared into the night.
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“Where did they go?” Natasha appeared suddenly. Maria looked at her girlfriend, who was a little disheveled, holding the fabric you always wore. Maria wasn’t stupid. In fact, she was quick to put the pieces together. Natasha followed you to the bathroom. It was taking longer than she expected, but Maria trusted you and Natasha. So she stared at her girlfriend, who no doubt was returning from a steamy make-out session that resulted in your scarf falling and revealing a rather gruesome scar.
Strange enough, Maria was jealous. Not because you and Natasha kissed. No, she couldn’t give a fuck about that. She was jealous because Natasha got to kiss you first, or she couldn’t watch. “They just took off,” Kate said.
“I don’t know why,” Yelena mumbled. “That scar is so cool.” A scar you clearly did not find cool because you always had it covered. Natasha sighed, placing her hands behind her head.
“We’ll find her,” Maria said as she stood up. “I promise.”
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Despite the rain, you continued walking. Your jacket was zipped up and pulled to your chin. You had no destination in mind but continued to walk the streets of New York City. You were so stupid. It seemed the universe liked to play a cruel joke on you. Whenever you thought you were close to being happy, the rug got pulled out from underneath you. “You are going to get sick.” You heard Maria’s voice from the car that pulled up next to you.
“I hope I do.” You said. You heard Maria’s laugh over the rain; it almost made you smile.
“Get in the car, sweetheart. We are all worried about you.” You kept walking.
“I kissed your girlfriend,” you deflected for some reason. “She’s a good kisser.”
“Trust me, I know,” you could hear the smirk in her voice. “Get in the car.” You stopped and leaned against the car to look into the passenger window.
“Would you still want me when you learn how much of a monster I truly am?” You questioned. Maria looked you over, eyes on your neck, which was covered by your jacket.
“Yes,” she answered. “Now get your ass in the car.” You huffed but got into the passenger seat. Maria reached in the back and threw you a towel.
“Thanks,” you mumbled and dried off your hair. Maria pulled onto the street and headed back to the tower with a hand on your thigh like it was the most natural thing.
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Maria had something to do with it because you were able to walk into the tower and to your room without being surrounded. Maria walked you to your door, kissed your cheek, and told you to take your time. You promised Natasha that you would talk to her.
You smiled, went to your shower, and stayed under the water until it went cold. Then you got out, dried quickly, changed into baggy clothes, and wrapped a scarf around your neck. Everyone knew, but it felt second nature. Sighing, you grabbed the lotion and walked over to Natasha and Maria’s room. You only knocked once before the door swung open. “Hey, Red,” you whispered. She offered you her hand, and you took it. You stepped into their room and closed the door behind you. Maria was changed and sitting in their bed.
“Come sit,” Natasha led you to their bed. You sat down and crossed your legs. “Are you okay?” The redhead asked. You sighed.
“I’m tired,” you admitted. “I’ve carried this for so long?” Maria asked.
“16,” you answered. Slowly, you unwrapped the scarf. It felt weird having it exposed and under the gaze of the two people you cared for so deeply. You untwisted the cap of the lotion and took some on two of your fingers. “I know it’s ugly and hard to look at. I-”
“Stop.” “Enough.” They said at the same time.
“Stop putting words in our mouths,” Natasha added. You opened and closed your mouth to come up with something, but decided against it. You rubbed the lotion on your scar while they watched intensely.
“I was working with a group called The Liberty,” the slight hitch in Natasha’s breath told you she knew who they were. “I was a gun for hire. I wasn’t proud of the work, but it provided money, food, and a roof over my head.” You tried to justify some of the kills all the time. They were dirty politicians or drug lords. “I refused to kill one of my targets. She was just 6 years old.”
You would never forget her name: Alana Peterson, the daughter of Tina Peterson, who was married to David. David was the CEO of Zeus Enterprises. Tina had an affair with a competitor, which resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. For 6 years, David raised Alana as if she were his flesh and blood. Like always, the truth came to light, and as Tina’s punishment, Alana was going to be killed. You were hired to do it.
“This was my punishment. They left me to die on the concert floor. I could feel the blood pooling around me.” You were surprised when Natasha placed her hand on your arm. You were shaking. “I blacked out and woke up in a bed.”
“Why do you hide it?” Maria questioned.
“I don’t want pity when people see it,” you whispered. “And,” you sighed. Well, you’ve come this far. “It’s a constant reminder of when I was at my most vulnerable. The doctor who saved my life, the payment terms were not conventional.” He was 30 years your senior. You spent the next 4 years recovering under him more than living. Once you’ve gotten your strength back, you killed him to escape him. Fury found you when you were 25, so you had 5 years tracking down the group and killing them for leaving you to die. It took one comment from random people of disgust or strange fascination that made you cover your neck. People looked at you like a freak. A science experiment that they were trying to understand.
Carefully, Natasha grabbed the lotion you placed next to Maria. “Do you trust us?” You hesitated.
The simple answer was yes. Time and time again, they saved your life. You had no reason not to trust them, aside from fear. “Yes,” your voice shook as you tried to act confidently. Natasha smiled and opened the lotion. Your eyes followed her hands as they traveled closer to your neck.
Your back was taunt, and you tried to keep yourself from flinching. Her touch was soft and warm. You never allowed another person to touch your scar. The sensation was different but not unwelcome. Soon, you felt the tension leave your shoulders. It felt nice to have someone else hold the weight.
Natasha passed the lotion to Maria. You gave the agent a smile as she put lotion on her fingers and touched your skin. It was overkill, but the feeling was too nice to push them away. “You’re safe with us,” Maria whispered. “You will always be safe with us.” A shaky breath left your lips, and your throat burned as you kept back your tears.
“Yeah?” You questioned. Sometimes it was hard to believe even when they said it. Natasha put her hand on your shoulder and pulled you closer to her. You felt your body slump against her, and her lips brushed against the side of your head.
“Always,” Natasha promised.
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When you woke up in the morning between Maria and Natasha without a ribbon covering your neck, you never felt safer.
G!P Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Your friends with benefits situation with Natasha and Wanda becomes quite complicated
[A/N] This was a request off a sweet anon but it was quite long so I've posted separately then as always will post their request later. Hope you all enjoy this one! ❤️
Natasha rolls off you, and you curl up on your side, hoping she’ll stay a bit longer. That she’ll run her fingers through your hair, kiss your forehead, tell you it was good, that she likes you… She doesn’t do any of that. Without a word Natasha climbs out of bed, grabbing her robe and pulling it around her. You want to ask about her fight with Wanda, not that Nat had even told you she’d fought with Wanda but you knew she had. Natasha only ever came alone if she’d fought with Wanda, and vice versa. They seem to have been fighting more and more these days.
“Are you leaving?” You eventually ask, your voice hoarse, and almost desperate.
“Yeah, early start tomorrow. Promised Wanda I’d take her out for breakfast.”
Your stomach twists painfully. Breakfast with the two of them sounds perfect, and you wish they’d invite you to do things like that with them sometimes. They never did though; all they seemed to want was sex. After they’d asked if you wanted a friends with benefits situation, you’d agreed, having been attracted to both of them from the get go. It seemed that both of them had forgotten about the friend’s aspect of the relationship though, only focusing on their ‘benefit’.
As usual the sex had been rough, with Natasha practically using you as an outlet for her frustrations towards Wanda. The first time it had happened, you’d thought it was hot. Natasha was pretty hot at the best of times, but when she took control like that, it was even hotter. You’d assumed it was a one off, but you soon realised Natasha and Wanda would always turn up at your room separately if they were in a mood with each other. After a while it wasn’t hot anymore, it was… Almost scary.
When they weren’t in a mood, sometimes they’d invite you round to their room. The sex was amazing – slow, loving, it almost felt like they worshipped you. Afterwards they’d cuddle you in between them, pressing kisses to your skin, and whispering loving words. In moments like that you almost let yourself believe that you were truly part of their relationship. Not just friends with benefits, but an equal, their proper girlfriend. By morning though the two of them would get ready for the day together, talking about plans that you weren’t part of. You’d sneak out of the room, already forgotten about.
Once Natasha leaves, you climb slowly out of bed, wincing a little. Your thighs are now littered with bruises, and you shuffle awkwardly to the bathroom to inspect the damage. This isn’t too unusual these days – Wanda and Natasha have gotten so rough these past couple of months. Every time you try and slow it down, it’s like they get lost in their own worlds. You sit on the edge of the bath and bury your face in your hands as you begin to cry. This routine is usual too – Natasha or Wanda leaves you, you cry in the bathroom alone and then you return to bed where you cry some more before falling asleep.
Why can’t they stay for just ten minutes? To cuddle you, to reassure you… No doubt Natasha will return to her own bedroom where her and Wanda will make up, then spend the night cuddling each other whilst you curl up into a ball, holding onto your pillow as you try to soothe yourself.
What hurt the most was before they’d asked you to enter this arrangement; the three of you had been good friends. You’d been poached from SHIELD into the Avengers, and you’d recognised Natasha from her own SHIELD days. Already she was dating Wanda, and the two of them seemed to be together all the time. Not that you minded, you quickly formed a friendship with Wanda too. You both liked reading, and the two of you had gotten into the habit of cooking for the Avengers on a Thursday night. The three of you would spend most Sunday’s together, lazing in the yard or going out for coffee in the city.
So when they’d proposed the friends with benefits situation, you’d agreed. It could only bring you closer, surely, and it wasn’t exactly a secret that you were attracted to them. Everything that had made you friends seemed to have dropped off though, leaving you in this weird void where you no longer had your best friends. Everything about your relationship with Wanda and Natasha now felt so hollow, so empty. This wasn’t what you wanted. It wasn’t what you’d signed up for.
You climb back into bed, pulling one of your pillows into your arms and burying your face into it as you continue to cry. Something needs to change. You can’t go on like this night after night. It’ll be okay though – Natasha and Wanda will understand. They’re your friends after all.
“What?” Wanda exclaims.
“I just… I don’t think we should do the whole… Friends with benefits thing anymore.”
You’d gotten up early the next morning, hoping to speak to Natasha and Wanda first thing, forgetting that Natasha had said her and Wanda were going out for breakfast. They’d been gone the whole morning then had strolled back into the compound around lunchtime, hand in hand, their argument from last night apparently forgotten. You’d asked if you could have a word with them both, and they’d seemed reluctant, apparently not wanting to leave the little bubble the two of them had entered. They got like that lately, so focused on each other that it was like the rest of the world didn’t even exist.
“Why not?” Natasha demands, folding her arms.
“I just… I don’t want to anymore.”
“No, you can’t just drop this on us out of nowhere. You owe us an explanation.”
“I- I don’t think that I do-”
“Did we do something wrong?” Wanda asks. “Is that why you don’t wanna do it anymore?”
“It was just supposed to be fun,” Natasha says. “If something’s wrong then you can just tell us rather than pulling the plug out of the blue.”
“Maybe I’d just like to be your friend again. When was the last time we did anything as friends?”
“We do loads of things,” Natasha says, rolling her eyes.
“Like what? Name literally one thing we’ve done in the past week.”
“I was in your room just last night-”
“Yeah but not as my friend. You just wanted sex and honestly, I don’t… The sex isn’t fun for me anymore. Honestly, I’m starting to feel a little… Used.”
Natasha and Wanda exchange a glance, neither of them saying anything for a long moment. Just as you’re about to break the silence, Natasha gets there first, “You seemed to be enjoying it last night to me.”
“I mean… Yeah, okay, it… It’s not that the sex is bad, I didn’t say that-”
“No, you’re just saying that we’re taking advantage of you,” Natasha says.
“No! No I didn’t-”
“Because you consented too Y/N, you never told us to stop or give any indication that you weren’t-”
“I’m not saying it was like that! I just mean that…” You rub the back of your neck, feeling like this conversation is spiralling out of control. “You could reassure me though. Hold me, let me know that it’s about more than the sex-”
“We do!” Wanda says defensively. “You always sleep in our bed afterwards-”
“Yeah, when we’re all together. But you only come to me alone when you’re in a mood with the other one and then you-”
“What are you saying?” Natasha asks, her voice clipped and irritated.
“I’m saying that if we’re going to continue, I need you to stay behind and reassure me a little, rather than leaving me to just-”
“We do take care of you though-”
“Not when you’re alone with me! Why aren’t you listening?” You hear your own voice rising with irritation. “I’m just saying that you only come seek me out individually if you’re mad at the other and that results in you not treating me the way that I’d like.”
“And you’d rather just pull the plug than actually have a conversation about this?” Natasha asks.
“I’m trying to have one now and neither of you are actually listening to what I’m saying-”
“I don’t like what you’re implying,” Wanda says, folding her arms. “You never said anything about this before.”
“Yeah, we’re not mind readers,” Natasha snaps. “We said from the start this was about communication-”
“Okay and I’m trying to communicate right now but neither of you wants to hear it!”
“Yeah because you just came in here, accusing us of like… Taking advantage of you!” Wanda snaps. “I don’t know why you’re acting like this.”
“It wasn’t like you were thinking about who you had sex with before all of this!” Natasha says.
You pause for a moment, scoffing slightly, “So what, you’re saying that I’m a slut?”
“You kind of were and you know it.”
There had been a while when you’d first joined the Avengers, that you were making the most of the fact you were single. You’d come from a far quieter town, and had loved the amount of LGBT clubs that you’d found in New York City. Perhaps you had had a lot of sex during that time. Did it really matter? Natasha and Wanda had even encouraged you, coming along with you and pointing out pretty girls in the club. You can’t believe they’re throwing that back in your face, especially after that night when you’d had one too many drinks.
“No one’s ever gonna love me,” You’d sobbed, your head over the toilet in some random club as you were terrified you were being to be sick.
“Don’t be silly, don’t say that,” Natasha had said.
“Yeah, everyone loves you,” Wanda said, helping to brush your hair out of your face.
“No, they love having sex with me. That’s all I’m good for.”
“Don’t say that,” Natasha repeated. “Don’t say that, you’re an amazing girl, anyone would be lucky to have you.”
You’d sniffled, wiping at the tears on your face. “I’m just a slut-”
“Don’t call yourself that,” Wanda had said firmly. “You’re not. It’s a dumb, misogynistic word. You like having sex. Big fucking deal.”
“Yeah, you’re not a slut, honey…” Natasha said, rubbing her hand in slow circles over your back. “You’re not, we promise.”
They’d been lying, apparently.
“Don’t talk to me again,” You hiss. “I’m done. With both of you.”
Even as you’re walking away, you’re hoping that Natasha and Wanda will chase after you. They don’t. Neither of them moves, though Natasha does reach out to take Wanda’s hand. Tears spring to your eyes as you rush back to your room, your worst fears confirmed. You’re not their friend anymore – you haven’t been for a long time. If they’d just listened to you, had reassured you… They only care about each other though. You’d suspected that was the case but having it confirmed hurts more than you could’ve ever imagined. All they’d wanted was sex. And now they’d got it… What use did they have for you?
The next few weeks are difficult. Although you turn up to training and do what’s required of you, you avoid being left alone with Wanda and Natasha. In fact, you try to ignore them altogether. Steve pairs you with Natasha for training, and you beg Yelena to swap so you can spar with Kate instead. You eat meals in your room, or just go out, avoiding the kitchen altogether. Yelena asks if you want to join her and Kate for a night out, but when you discover she’s also invited her sister and Wanda, you decline, no matter how much Kate tries to persuade you.
Eventually Wanda takes matters into her own hands and comes to your bedroom – when you ignore her knocks, she uses her powers to unlock your door. You look up from your bed, “Hey!”
“Well why didn’t you answer?”
“Because I don’t really feel like talking after- I don’t have to answer! That’s why you knock-” You close your mouth, not sure who you’re more annoyed with, Wanda or yourself.
“Look, I know things got out of hand,” Wanda says. “Natasha didn’t mean what she said.”
“Really? Felt like she meant it at the time.”
“You know what Natasha’s like-”
“She hasn’t apologised.”
“Well, no, but that’s Natasha. We both talked about it and we’ve realised that maybe we weren’t being entirely fair.” Wanda sits down on the bed next to you. “I guess I never realised Natasha was going to you when she was angry. I knew I was… I should’ve thought about your feelings afterwards though. It was selfish of us.”
“It made me feel cheap,” You mumble. “Sometimes you guys would leave bruises and I’d just lie there, hurting and feeling lonely…”
“Oh Y/N…”
Wanda wraps her arms around you, leaning against your headboard and pulling you into her lap. You want to resist, to climb off, still feeling hurt by what they called you but you find your head tucking beneath her chin as you settle into her arms. Wanda kisses the top of your head, running her fingers up and down your arm. It feels so good – Natasha and Wanda seem to have a way of making you weak in the knees. You’re just as addicted to their attention as you are to their touch. Avoiding them had been easier than facing them because you knew one look would have you running back to their arms.
“Come to our room,” Wanda mumbles. “Let me and Natasha make it up to you.”
And that’s how you find yourself tangled up in their bed sheets, your naked body nestled in between them both as you all fall asleep. At first Natasha had been a little standoffish, still not apologising for what she’d called you, but when she’d started rubbing her hand up and down your back, pressing kisses to your face, you’d known that was her way of apologising. At first the touches had been innocent enough, gentle and loving, but eventually they’d become hotter and heavier. Soon you were all naked, and you were gasping as they both reined attention down on you. It was slow, sweet and loving, and all about you.
When you were done, gasping and panting, they’d both given you lots of kisses, their touch still affectionate and loving. Neither of them had asked you to sleep in their bedroom, clearly there had just been an assumption that you would. You’d felt awkward at first, feeling like you couldn’t move a muscle, but now you’ve relaxed, finding yourself drifting off.
Natasha is stirred awake by your restless squirming. One of her eyes opens as she hears you whimper, her assumption that you were just getting comfortable now squashed. Just as she’s about to shake your shoulder you whine loudly, waking up Wanda in the process. “Y/N,” Natasha mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.
Wanda props herself onto one elbow, her eyes widening as you begin to scream in terror, thrashing around in your sleep. Natasha grabs your arms and Wanda strokes your hair, “Hey, hey Sweetheart, wake up. You’re safe, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re here with us.”
Your eyes finally blink open, wide and terrified. Natasha sits up, pulling you into her lap and rocking you gently, “Shh… Shh, we’re right here… We’ve got you…”
“What happened, baby?” Wanda asks, stroking her fingers over your cheek, wiping at a stray tear. “You had a bad dream?”
“I’m so sorry,” You sniffle, “I didn’t mean to wake you up-”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Natasha says. “You know how many times we’ve woken each other up with nightmares? I think it’s part of the job description to be honest.”
“Do you have them often?” Wanda asks.
You don’t answer, not wanting to confess that you have nightmares most nights. You’re sure Natasha’s right, that the two of them have bad dreams just as often as you but you’re still embarrassed. It’s different for them, they’re dating – you’re just… You’re not even sure what you are. You love them both but you don’t know how they feel, not really.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Wanda asks.
You shake your head, not wanting to relive the memories that plague you every night. Natasha nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You don’t have to, we can just sit here for a while if you want.”
“I don’t wanna keep you up, I know you’re probably both tired-”
“Not too tired to make sure you’re okay,” Wanda says. “We were both bad friends before. We’re not going to let you feel like that again.”
The word ‘friend’ hurts you, but you don’t point that out. Just lean further into Natasha’s embrace, letting her comfort you. You’re exhausted but your nightmare is still fresh in your mind, so you do want to stay up with them for a little while. Their patient words and touch feels so good – it makes you feel wanted. That’s all you’ve wanted from them, you realise. To feel like they actually want you around.
Natasha begins speaking in a low, quiet voice, telling you about the first time she’d woken up Wanda with a nightmare. How embarrassed she’d felt, how kind Wanda had been. All the while, Wanda’s fingers stroke over your skin, sometimes your cheek, sometimes your arm, sometimes your hands. You want to stay up with them for the rest of the night but Natasha’s soft voice combined with Wanda’s loving touch soothes you back into sleep.
Over the next week you spend every night sleeping in Natasha and Wanda’s bed, most nights without even having sex beforehand. None of you even acknowledges it, it’s almost as if there’s no question of where you’ll be sleeping. Somehow by default, you’ve ended up earning a spot in their bed – not that you mind. It’s preferable to sleeping all alone in your big bed, and you find that you sleep better when you’re in between them both. They’re always there to soothe you if you have a nightmare.
They’re also there the night that you’re sick. It had come on so suddenly. One minute you’d been asleep and then the next you’d had to scramble out of bed, only just making it to Natasha and Wanda’s en suite. Natasha had been out of bed like a shot, keeping your hair out of your face, whilst Wanda had stumbled in after her to rub your back. “Oh dear…” Wanda mumbles sympathetically. “Was it something that you ate?”
“I don’t know,” You reply quietly, taking your toothbrush out of Natasha’s hand to wash the horrible taste out of your mouth. “Maybe that burrito I had at lunch?”
Natasha had suggested the three of you get lunch and you’d all gone out for Mexican food. The burrito had tasted just fine, delicious in fact, but it’s the only thing you can think that may have caused it. Natasha leads you back to bed, tucking you back in between her and Wanda, pressing a reassuring kiss to your cheek. “Just take it easy. Let us know if you need anything.”
The following day you feel back to normal, and you assume it was just something a little dodgy that you ate. Training goes absolutely fine, you have dinner with Natasha and Wanda, then crawl into their bed. Only to wake up again in the middle of the night to be sick. After that you don’t feel so great in the days anymore, feeling constantly tired and nauseous.
Natasha and Wanda keep you in their bed, both of them taking it in turns to skip training and take care of you. It makes you feel like you’re truly part of their relationship now, and it’s almost worth being unwell. Wanda dabs your forehead with a damp cloth, watching old movies with you, whilst Natasha rubs her hand over your aching stomach, even rubbing your shoulders when you complain they hurt from lying in bed so much. After a week of feeling so awful, Wanda suggests that you go to the medbay, “They can do a full check-up and make sure you’re not sickening for something worse. I can come with you if you want.”
You shake your head, “No, no, you’ve missed enough training for me. I’ll go, maybe they can give me some antibiotics and then I’ll come back to bed.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Wanda kisses your cheek and then reluctantly leaves you to it. You climb out of bed with a groan, pulling yourself into some presentable clothes. You’ll be surprised if Natasha and Wanda ever want to touch you again; you’ve slobbed around in comfies for the past week while you’ve felt so lousy. Your hair needs a good wash but you decide to just go to the medbay, and get it out of the way. The sooner they can give you some antibiotics, the sooner you can get back to normal.
Dr Cho is on duty today, and none of the other Avengers are around so she has time to give you a complete medical, asking about your symptoms and doing all sorts of tests. You sit patiently throughout all of this, even though all you want to do is crawl back to bed and go back to sleep. Helen gives you a look, and you feel your heart race in your chest, “What? Is everything okay? Is it something serious?”
“Y/N… Are you on birth control?”
Your eye-brows furrow, “I- No, I was on the pill for a bit. Sometimes I use a condom I guess-”
Helen nods, looking down at her notes, then looking back up at you, “I’m gonna need you to take a test for me.”
You snort, “What? Why? There’s literally no way-”
Helen doesn’t say anything further, just holds out the stick for you to take. You hesitate before sighing, figuring that the sooner you take the test the sooner you can prove that you’re definitely not pregnant. You disappear into the medbay’s bathroom, reappearing a few moments later and holding the stick out for Helen, “I’ll be really surprised if I’m pregnant.”
“We’ll wait to see what it says.”
You pull yourself back onto the medbay cot and try to make small talk with Helen whilst you wait for the pregnancy test to work its magic. After a few minutes Helen picks up the test and then looks at you, “Y/N, the test is positive. You’re pregnant.”
You feel your stomach flip over and you’re surprised that you don’t throw up. Pregnant? How on Earth could you be pregnant? You put your hand over your stomach, trying to form words but they’re all stuck in your mouth.
Helen hesitates, “It doesn’t say how far along you are but I’d guess about one month. I’d recommend making an appointment at an antenatal clinic, they’ll assign you a midwife, it’s not really my expertise-”
“Pregnant?” You repeat quietly.
Helen nods, her voice quiet, “Yes Y/N, that’s what’s causing your sickness and making you feel so sluggish. You’re pregnant.”
One month? That would be… The night you’d had sex with Natasha, she’d bruised you then left you alone- That must’ve been the night. “What if I don’t want it?” You blurt.
“The antenatal clinic will be able to help you with that, talk you through your options,” Helen says calmly. “Best to make an appointment with them as soon as possible. In the meantime try eating bland foods to help with the morning sickness. Some women find ginger tea helps too.”
You nod numbly, heading back to your own bedroom rather than Natasha and Wanda’s whilst you try to wrap your head around all of this. After you’ve changed out of your clothes, you get back into something comfortable and crawl into bed, pulling the pillow over your head.
Pregnant. You’re pregnant.
Fuck.
What would make sense is to tell Natasha and Wanda. Especially Natasha, given it’s her child; you’re in doubt of that. Things have been so good with them both though, that you don’t want to ruin that. Which is why you make a secret appointment with the closest antenatal clinic and go there alone. You’re assigned to a lovely midwife who confirms that you are indeed pregnant, and then is tactful enough to ask if it’s good news. When you shrug your shoulders she talks you through your options but before she’s gotten to the end you already know you won’t be getting rid of it.
You’re not sure why – it’s not like you’d ever had a longing to be a mother. Even when you were a teenager you hadn’t been keen on babies, wrinkling your nose whenever you’d been asked if you ‘wanted to hold the baby’, then groaning internally when it had been placed in your lap despite you protesting that you didn’t want to. There was no reason to think that you could be a good Mom, especially considering you hadn’t even told the other parent this baby even existed. Still though… You were keeping the baby.
Today you’re finally going to tell Natasha and Wanda. They’ve invited you out for lunch again and it’s been about three months since your morning sickness. You’re starting to show so you’ve been wearing baggy clothes and avoiding any intense training. Despite the fact you’re still sleeping in their bed every night, they don’t seem to have noticed. Your morning sickness had halted after a month or so, and you’d managed to fob Natasha and Wanda off with excuses. Neither of them seemed to suspect a thing.
You’d hoped they’d pick somewhere quiet for lunch but you all end up in a mall food court because Wanda fancies noodles whilst Natasha wants a salad. You look around at all the options, feeling a sudden intense craving for fried chicken. You’re so hungry that at first you just focus on eating, letting their conversation wash over you. You’ll tell them once you’ve eaten-
All three of you glance over at the table next to you as a Dad struggles to tame his three kids whilst their Mom queues for food. The baby is screaming loudly whilst the older two run around, shrieking and generally causing havoc. Natasha scoffs, “See, this is why I don’t want kids.”
“Oh come on,” Wanda says. “Some kids are cute.”
Natasha shakes her head, wrinkling her nose, “Not for me. I look at that and just think it looks like a nightmare. Late nights, no more freedom, and for what? A little brat who ignores me, screams at the top of their lungs, demands things-”
“Yeah but like, your own kid would be different, surely?” You say quietly. “You’d raise them how you want so they’d be respectful.”
Natasha shrugs, “I’m sure he thought the same thing and now look at him.”
You glance at the man again, seeing the dark circles beneath his eyes, the visible stress on his face as he manages to grab one of the older children in one arm, and the way the child immediately starts kicking his chest. He meets your eye and you quickly look away. “So you never want kids?”
“Nope,” Natasha says firmly, taking another bite of her food. “Being a Mom just isn’t for me. I can’t think of anything worse.”
Both women are surprised when you burst into tears. Before either of them can ask what’s wrong you jump out of your seat, abandoning your food, and rushing to the bathroom. Wanda glances at Natasha, “What is up with her? She’s been acting so weird lately.”
By the time you get back to the table you’ve composed yourself somewhat. When they inevitably ask what was wrong, you just mumble something about the man with his unruly children bringing back old memories. Neither of them questions you any further thought you’re pretty sure they didn’t buy it. How could you tell them you were pregnant now though? After everything Natasha had said?
Natasha and Wanda are definitely not buying your act. They’d noticed how withdrawn you’d become over the past couple of months, how you’d started hiding behind baggy clothes. They were both worried about you, and wanted to get to the bottom of the problem but they were struggling to get you to open up.
It’s Natasha’s idea to sneak into your room whilst you’re in your one to one with Maria. Everyone has a one to one with a SHIELD agent every couple of months or so just to make sure they’re doing okay with the work, their physical health, and their mental health. These one to one’s can take a few hours to thoroughly go through everything so Natasha and Wanda feel pretty safe about having a snoop in your room.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” Wanda says when they step inside. “We should just ask her-”
“We already have but she’s being cagey,” Natasha says. “And I want to know why. Once we’ve found out, at least we can just deal with it.”
Natasha goes to your bedside table and begins looking through the drawers whilst Wanda stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching her. “Are you going to help me?” Natasha eventually snaps as she lifts your bed sheets.
Wanda sighs and heads half-heartedly towards the desk in the corner of your bedroom by the window. It’s a mess, with a plate on top of your laptop, and several books scattered haphazardly. Wanda picks up the novel at the top of the pile, to reveal a photo underneath. She flips it over and raises her eye-brows when she finds a baby scan.
“Uh, Nat…”
Natasha stops what she’s doing to stand by Wanda, her mouth falling open when she looks at the baby scan picture in Wanda’s hand, “Is this… Is she…”
“Oh my God, she was really sick for like a month straight! And I thought her story never really added up, the medbay never prescribed her anything-”
“She’s pregnant?”
“Whose do you think it is? Yours?”
Natasha shakes her head, “No, she would’ve told us. Right?”
Wanda gasps, “You think she didn’t tell us because it’s somebody else’s?”
“She never even told us she was seeing anyone- How could she keep this a secret? She was sick months ago, she must’ve known for a while.”
Wanda looks back down at the scan, her hands trembling. If you’re pregnant with someone else’s baby, if you really have slept with someone else… Wanda can’t help but feel like you cheated. She’s not sure why, given you’d never made your relationship official but surely you were beyond friends with benefits by now. That was how Wanda felt anyway. Maybe you felt differently. But why wouldn’t you say anything?
“She’s been spending more time in her room lately,” Wanda says numbly. “And wearing those baggy clothes… She didn’t want us to realise she was pregnant.”
Natasha puts her arm around Wanda’s shoulders, leaning her head against her shoulder, “We need to talk to her.”
By the time you’re done with your one to one, Natasha and Wanda have put everything back exactly as they found it, and they’re waiting for you when you arrive. You look between them both, “Hey… Is everything okay?”
“That’s what we’re wondering,” Natasha says. “Is there something you wanna tell us?”
You swallow hard, feeling your palms turn sweaty as you clench and unclench your fists. This is the time to admit the truth. “I was going to tell you sooner, I swear-”
“Did you not think about how unfair it was to us?” Wanda bursts. “We might not have said we were exclusive but I thought it was just implied, one of those unspoken things.”
Your eye-brows furrow, “What? What are you-”
“You’re pregnant!” Natasha says. “You’re pregnant and you didn’t fucking think to tell us?”
“I- Well- I was going to, I swear but then you said all that stuff in the food court-”
“Don’t you dare turn this around and blame it on me,” Natasha hisses. “How long have you known?”
“I- It-”
“How long have you fucking known, Y/N?”
“About three months,” You admit quietly. “I was going to tell you-”
“You’ve known for three months and you didn’t tell us once during that time?” Wanda asks. “What, were you going to tell us in the delivery suite? When the kid was celebrating its first birthday?”
“No, of course not, I-”
“We can’t do this anymore, Y/N,” Natasha says. “You’ve been too dishonest. We can’t trust you anymore.”
“You- You can’t do what anymore?”
“We can’t be friends with benefits. Or anything actually. You lied to us-”
“What? No I didn’t!”
“Lying by omission is still lying,” Natasha says. “So I hope he was worth it whoever he was. We didn’t even realise you liked guys-”
“What are you talking about?”
“Save it, Y/N,” Wanda says, wrapping an arm around Natasha’s waist. She can see how wound up Natasha is getting, and given that you’re pregnant that isn’t a good combination. “Even if we weren’t official, we’re still supposed to be your friends and you should’ve told us.”
Seeing Wanda be so protective of Natasha, and realising that they’re dumping you, causes you to burst into noisy tears. Partly from the pregnancy hormones and partly because you’re heartbroken. How can they turn their back on you? Do they not realise…? “You can’t just- I thought- I thought we-”
“Yeah, we thought so too,” Natasha says bitterly. “But I guess not.”
Wanda murmurs something reassuring to Natasha, and the two of them leave you alone in your bedroom. You call out their names through your sobs, hoping that they’ll come back, they’ll hold you, reassure you that they understood why you hadn’t told them straight away. Of course they don’t come back though. You climb onto your bed, your safe space, your sanctuary, and cry into your pillow. How have you ended up here again? Things were going so well and you’d ruined it. Not just for you but for the baby you were supposed to be protecting. They hadn’t even been born yet and you were already ruining everything for them. You were going to be an awful Mother – and a single one too by the looks of it.
"I'm sorry," You whisper tearfully, rubbing your hand over your stomach. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I'm sorry you're stuck with me. I'm so sorry."
You gear yourself up for another few weeks of the silent treatment from Natasha and Wanda so you’re surprised when Natasha comes to find you just a couple of days later. In your one to one you’d confessed to Maria that you were pregnant and she’d moved you onto administrative tasks so that you wouldn’t hurt yourself in physical training. She was going to put together a lighter workout plan for you so that you wouldn’t lose all of your skills completely whilst you were pregnant. In the meantime, you were looking through old files and making sure they were logged in the relevant online systems.
You’re finding the work therapeutic actually – you’d always shied away from the administrative side of the Avengers work, especially since everyone else seemed to describe it as ‘dull’ but you found it kept your mind so occupied you couldn’t over think everything that was going on. In fact you’re so absorbed in your work that eventually Natasha has to clear her throat after silently watching you work for several minutes.
“Hey,” You mumble when your eyes land on her.
“Hey,” She replies evenly. “Look, I… I don’t want to fight. It’s just… You gotta understand how much you hurt our feelings.”
“I really didn’t mean to keep it a secret.”
“I know, it just… Came as a bit of a shock.” Natasha runs her hand up and down her arm, “We love you. You must know that. Maybe it was selfish to never ask you if you wanted to be exclusive, to officially invite you into the relationship but… You must’ve known.”
“You keep saying exclusive and I don’t really know what you mean by that.”
“As in you, me and Wanda would be faithful to each other. I know it was never mentioned-”
“No, I mean- Nat, I was faithful. Why did you assume the baby was someone else’s?”
Natasha’s face pales and she takes a step back, “What are you saying?”
“It’s yours, Nat. Of course it’s yours. I never- Only you and Wanda, and Wanda can’t- It’s yours.”
Natasha puts her hand over her mouth, looking like she might throw up at any second. You remember feeling the exact same way when you’d found out and you give her a small smile, “I know it’s a lot to take in. I’ve decided to keep it. I guess you already figured that out but yeah… I’m having another scan next week if you and Wanda want to come-”
Natasha abruptly turns on her heel and walks out of the room, leaving you alone with your work once again. Your eyes water, the pages before you blurring as you turn back to your paperwork. Part of you had suspected that would be the case. For all Natasha had banged on about you potentially joining their relationship, in being exclusive, in you being loyal to them, you hadn’t expected that loyalty in return. You would always come second place to Wanda for Natasha. You and the baby.
That evening Natasha and Wanda are absent when the rest of the Avengers meet in the kitchen for dinner. You make the announcement that you’re pregnant – it was already fairly obvious given you hadn’t been in the gym for a while, and you were starting to show. You don’t tell anyone that Natasha is the other parent, figuring that she can do that if and when she feels comfortable to do so, and the Avengers are too polite to ask about the baby’s conception. Their positive reactions do cheer you up though, making you feel less alone. Steve says he’s looking forward to having a baby getting into mischief around the compound, whilst Kate offers to help when you need it. Tony even offers to begin baby-proofing, and you smile when he and the other men get into an argument about what’s safe for a baby.
“You’re not in this alone,” Clint says to you quietly when the fuss has died down. “There’s a lot of people here looking out for you. And the baby too.”
You glance at him, not sure whether Natasha’s told him anything or whether he’s just being kind. Either way, you smile, “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“Do you know what you’re having?”
You shake your head, “I decided to keep it as a surprise.”
“That’s going to make clothes shopping a little difficult.”
“Honestly I haven’t even started to think of everything that I need yet. It feels so overwhelming-”
“We’ve probably got some old stuff lying around from when Nate was a baby. I’ll ask Laura if she can dig it out.”
“Clint, I couldn’t-”
“That junk is expensive, you’re going to want as many handouts as possible, I promise. I’m sure we’ve still got his old crib, a high chair maybe… I’ll let you know.”
“Well… If you’re sure, it would be a big help. Thank you.”
“No bother at all. Don’t be afraid to shout if you need anything.”
What you really need is Natasha and Wanda. Being pregnant has left you feeling particularly vulnerable, and you wish they would take care of you the way they had before you’d realised you were pregnant. Already your ankles were starting to hurt and you know it’s only going to get worse the bigger that you get. It would be nice to have someone you trust to help you with simple tasks like getting dressed, who could fetch you foods if you were having a craving… They don’t want to be involved though. And you can’t control their decisions, only your own.
A couple of months go by and you’re very visibly pregnant now. Pregnancy hasn’t been easy for you, morning sickness has plagued you on and off, some foods are delicious one day then make you nauseous the next, everything feels like it’s aching... Luckily Maria, Fury, and the Avengers have been understanding, and if you need a day to just lie on the couch then they give you the space to do so.
Natasha and Wanda continue to keep their distance.
You’d written them both a letter about a month ago, attaching a photo of your most recent ultrasound. You’d kept it non-confrontational just confirming that your pregnancy was progressing well even though you felt ill most days, but the baby was looking healthy, and you were still keeping their sex a surprise. You’d been brainstorming names but you were happy for them to be involved if they wanted to be.
It had crossed your mind that they wouldn’t be able to avoid you and the baby forever. You had no intention of moving out of the compound - knowing that you had the Avengers support was the only thing keeping you going. Some days you would just cry in your bedroom, wondering how you were going to do this all by yourself. Moving away wasn’t an option; you needed to be around people. You couldn’t imagine Natasha or Wanda moving either though so it wasn’t clear how things were going to look once the baby arrived.
Today had been difficult, another day where you’d crashed in front of the couch to watch TV all day. It was boiling hot and your head was hurting, so the thought of sitting in front of your paperwork was too daunting. Instead you switched the air conditioning on full blast and took naps on and off all day. The Avengers ask if you want to join them for dinner but you shake your head, telling them you’re going to have a snack in your bedroom and then you’ll have an early night with your book.
It comes as a surprise when you get to your bedroom and find Natasha and Wanda waiting for you. At the end of your bed is a crib with a mobile hung above it, with different Avengers symbols, clearly custom made. In the crib there’s a white bunny plushie along with a whale blanket. Your bed sheets have been changed, your floor hovered, and your trinkets dusted, all tasks that had desperately needed doing but you just hadn’t had the energy.
“Hey,” Natasha says quietly.
“What’s this?” You ask.
“An apology,” Wanda says. “For… Everything.”
“For assuming that you’d cheated even though we weren’t properly in a relationship,” Natasha says. “For using you for sex when we first entered the friends with benefits agreement. And for not supporting you throughout your pregnancy. Especially since it’s mine. But even if it wasn’t… We should’ve been there anyway.”
“Clint brought the crib around,” Wanda says. “There’s more furniture that we’ll set up elsewhere but we thought… It was in pieces so we put it together, gave it a good clean. It’s a new mattress, and we got the mobile online, made specially for the special baby. Natasha chose the blanket and I chose the plushie. I hope we haven’t overstepped-”
“These are really cute,” You say, running your hand over the crib. “I appreciate it, thank you.”
Natasha puts her hand on top of yours, “You can tell us we’re too late but… We want to be there for you. For you, and the baby.”
“We want to be in a real relationship with you,” Wanda says. “Like Natasha said, if we’re too late-”
“You’re not too late,” You say quietly. That spell they hold on you is still there, still making you want them, despite everything. “I want you both, of course I do. You’re both all I’ve ever wanted. But I need reassurances that this won’t happen again. You can’t keep jumping to assumptions, accusing me of things I didn’t really say-”
Natasha wraps her arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “We promise, baby. I guess we got so caught up in our own little bubble… But you’re part of it now.”
Wanda puts her hand on your round stomach, “You and the little one.”
Your eyes water and you nod, “I want to be part of the bubble.”
Natasha and Wanda pull you towards the bed, lying you down between them, and pressing loving kisses to your face, wiping your tears away with their lips. It feels so nice that you cry harder, and they wrap their arms around you, whispering reassurances to you. You’d known you were feeling lonely but you hadn’t realised just how much until this very moment. Natasha runs her hand over your stomach and then leans down to whisper, “Hey little squirt… You’re lucky. You got three Mama’s who are gonna be looking out for you.”
“And the Mama that’s carrying you is the best Mama you could ask for,” Wanda adds. “You’ll never want for anything. We’re all here to protect you now. We promise.”
Natasha kisses your cheek, “And we’ll protect you too. You’re carrying precious cargo after all.”
“And you’re our precious girl,” Wanda says. “Always have been, it just took us a while to realise that.”
That makes you sob harder, and they both fuss over you protectively. It feels so good to have someone comfort you when you cry, to hold you, to feel protected… The pregnancy hormones have been driving you crazy. It’s good to feel like finally, finally, the burden is shared. By two women that you love more than anything… And who might just love you too.
“Let us see!”
“I want to hold her first!”
“No, me!”
“Give her some space,” Natasha says, a protective arm around your shoulders.
You cradle the little bundle in your arms, then adjust so that the others can see the newborn baby in your arms. A quiet, awed coo spreads across the room as everyone takes her in - your baby girl. You’d given birth in the early hours of yesterday morning and had been discharged today. Your little girl had been born eight days after her due date, clearly comfortable and in no rush to make an appearance.
“What name did you settle on?” Clint asks.
“Isla,” Wanda confirms proudly. “Our little Isla.”
You smile – Wanda and Natasha had been smitten with the newborn Isla. Both of them had been there when you’d given birth. At first the midwife had tried to insist that only one of them could be present but Natasha had argued you were all the baby’s Mama’s, so you all had to be there for the moment she was born. It had been beautiful, both Natasha and Wanda crying as the newborn baby was placed into your arms and you’d had your first skin to skin contact with her.
“You look exhausted,” Steve says.
“Well, it turns out that giving birth wasn’t a picnic,” You joke with a tired smile. “Natasha and Wanda have been amazing though.”
“You should sit down baby,” Wanda says, leading you towards the living room.
“Do you want me to take Isla?” Natasha asks.
“Come on, I want to hold her,” Carol whines. “Please, please, please?”
“Yeah, yeah, everyone will get a cuddle, don’t overwhelm her though,” You warn, letting Natasha take your precious girl out of your arms.
Everyone flocks round Natasha to peer at Isla whilst Wanda leads you to the couch, fussing over you as she gets you settled. “Are you okay?” She asks you quietly.
You nod, glancing over at Natasha. She wouldn’t let anything happen to Isla, you know that, but you still feel protective. Your baby is just so little and cute… “Looks like everyone’s excited to meet the baby.”
“Of course they are, look at all the gifts you got at the baby shower. And now they know she’s a little girl, even more gifts are going to arrive. Just wait.” Wanda fluffs the pillow behind you, then pulls the footstool in front of you, “Do you need anything, baby?”
“Will you hold me?”
Wanda smiles, taking a seat next to you and wrapping her arms around you, letting you rest your head on her chest. You’re exhausted – you’d barely slept last night, having spent most of it wide awake and gazing at Isla as she’d slept relatively peacefully, only waking when she was hungry. You were breastfeeding and loved the moments of closeness with her in the middle of the night when the rest of the world was sleeping. Natasha and Wanda had gone home to rest up, and you found that you didn’t mind – you appreciated the alone time with your little girl.
Your eyes flutter but they open just one more time to see Natasha hand Isla over to Steve, seeing how tiny your baby looks in Steve’s massive arms. Despite your exhaustion, this is the happiest you’ve ever been. Wanda kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes, feeling safe and loved even if you do still feel sore. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off into a peaceful sleep, secure in the knowledge that your girlfriends will be there for you when you wake up.
Your girlfriends and your precious girl. Your little Isla. What a rollercoaster it had been but now she’s here… And you couldn’t be happier.
