All of my work is intended for readers above 18+. MINORS DNI. Please read the warnings before starting the story. I take no responsibility if you skip the warnings.
All my stories are organized from oldest to newest in each category.
You can find all my work also on my ao3 account.
š„Ā - Smut š - Angst šø - Fluff
Bucky Barnes x Reader
i wanna ruin our friendship š„Ā ššø
Celebrity!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
are you mine? š„Ā š
Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
just let me make you feel better š„šø
Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
unconventional methods [complete] š„š
Avengers!Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator!Reader
no one else matters š„
Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Steve Rogers x Female Reader (in the past)
you're my desire series [complete]- co-written with @notafunkiller š„šø
40s!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
love me like you paid me - co-written with @notafunkiller š„šøš
Dilf!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
not a study date - š„šøš
College!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
youāre stuck with me -Ā co-written withĀ @notafunkiller š„š
Revenge Sex!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
you were mine just yesterday - co-written with @notafunkiller š„š
Ex Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Lonely Night series [Complete] - š„
Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Like Someone I Know -š„ A Little Sequal šø
College!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Why Are You Doing This To Me? - š
Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Pretty Little ThingĀ - co-written withĀ @notafunkiller š„
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Iām Not Sure If I Can Do This - š„šø
Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
One More Night - š„ššø
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
I love that you used my gif for a bucklena fic, I'm honored ā¤ļø And our brains are quite aligned too, cause I also wrote a drunk bucky fic where he gets drunk on Asgardian Alcohol, LOL idk if our stories are more similar cause I have yet to read it, but what a fun coincidence hehehe (I love drunk bucklena so much, thank you for writing them ā¤ļø)
Summary: Bucky was supposed to watch Yelena and Bob, to make sure their dynamic worked but more he watched, more he got jealous of Bob. It was becoming unbearable and his solution was simple: Asgardian Ale. What he did not know was only Yelena knew where it was and the affects of it.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Yelena Belova
Warnings: +18, yearning, jealousy, mentions of Bob, Bucky being a dense idiot, alcohol consumption, Asgardian ale, no one is drunk, vaginal fingering, tit sucking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, Yelena and Bucky speak Russian
Word Count: 4.9K
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
A/N: Hello! I know this ship isn't everybody's cup of tea but it's mine. And I watched Thunderbolts a little late, okay? So this is what I came up with after finishing the movie. If you like it great, thank you very much for reading it, if you don't I don't need to hear your opinion about this ship and/or Yelena's sexuality in your pov. Just scroll down and read something else please. Thank you.
+ I don't speak Russian. I tried my best to make it realistic with my nonexisting knowledge. I'm sorry if I butchered Russian. I'm open to any suggestion to make it sound better.
Everything felt a lot harder than it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be an easy task. He was just supposed to keep an eye on Bob and Yelena, to make sure their dynamic is working. So Bob wouldnāt lose control again. Yet, watching them being this close was hurting Bucky. He had no idea when it started. Probably little by little. Just like a boiling frog. He didnāt notice how much it hurt before it was too late.Ā
The feeling was brand new. Being jealous of someone who had no idea. They are living in their own bubble, being close, sharing and balancing each other. He had no idea how much he wanted that. How much he actually needed that. To open up to someone, to be himself unapologetically. Not hiding anything. Not holding back. And the other person still wanting you after seeing every part of your darkness. He knew that was too much to ask for. Yet, there was something about Yelena that made him feel like it was possible. She made him feel seen without saying much. She looked at him like she understood. She wasnāt much of a talker but she knew exactly what to say. Even when she was sassy. She made him feel things he didnāt think he was capable of. At least not anymore.
Bucky sighed, putting his drink back. He was pretending to look at his phone while casually watching Bob and Yelena talk. He wished he could hear what they were talking about. It would be a huge breach of their privacy but he just wanted to hear what made Yelena laugh like that. Or maybe hearing them actually flirt would help him to get over this feeling. He didnāt know what to call it. Jealousy seemed too extensive. Envy? Yeah, he envied what they have and not knowing the nature of their relationship was just driving him crazy.
āI need something stronger.ā He murmured to no one. He stood up and walked towards the booze cabinet without glancing over Yelena and Bob. He vaguely remembered Steve talking about the Asgardian ale Thor brought once. It was so strong that Steve actually felt buzzed after years of not being affected by alcohol. Bucky was hoping that bottle was hidden somewhere because thatās exactly what he needed. He needed to numb himself so he could sleep without overthinking once. Just once.Ā
He opened the cabinet, looking at the bottles and trying to identify them under the dim light. He didnāt notice how much noise he was making. He didnāt have much patience and the bottles were rattling continuously. Suddenly he felt the presence of someone right next to him. He was so focused on finding that bottle that he didnāt realize Yelena was standing next to him. Her smell suddenly filled all his senses.
āWhat are you doing?āĀ Oh, how much he loved the way she spoke English.Ā
āJust looking for something.ā
āI can see that.ā She didnāt say anything else but the question was hanging in the air and for some reason, Bucky couldnāt ignore it like he normally does. He looked up from the place he bent over.
āSteve mentioned a bottle of ale.ā
āThe Asgardian one?ā It surprised Bucky that she knew about it but then, it must be something people talked about a lot. An alien liquor that got you drunk with one sip. It would take him more than that butā¦ He could see why it would be a huge topic of conversation. So, of course she knew about it.
āYep, that one.ā
āRough night?ā She sounded genuinely curious. The way she was so caring always made him want to open up to her but he didnāt want to burden her. She was already carrying a lot herself. Yet, in moments like this, he found it so hard to not be honest with her.
āLetās just say, rough patch.ā He kept looking for the bottle while answering
āItās not there.ā She sounded so casual. Bucky stopped going through the bottles and stood up.Ā
āWhere is it, then?ā One eyebrow raised without intending.Ā
āLetās just say, somewhere Bob canāt reach.ā That made sense. A lot of sense actually. He cursed himself internally for not thinking about it before. Of course they hid it. It wasnāt a normal bottle of alcohol. In the hands of Bob, it would be so much more dangerous. They had no idea how it would affect him and of course, of course Yelena thought about it. She knew it would be bad for Bob and she made sure it was somewhere safe. He felt that burning sensation in his chest again. The one he didnāt want to call jealousy. Someone thinking of you like thisā¦ He never had that. He would likely never have it and he had to make peace with that fact. He just breathed out like he was running out of patience.
āGood thinking.ā He didnāt know what else to say.
āIf you want a shot or two, I can help you with that.ā That truly surprised him. He wasn't sure if it was because of the offer or thatĀ it was still in the tower.
*
Bucky decided to be cautious. He had no idea how strong the liquor was so he just took a sip and waited. Nearly five minutes passed, nothing happened.
āYou need more than that.ā Yelena finally broke the silence. She had been waiting for him to realize that on his own and take at least another sip but it didnāt happen.Ā
They were sitting in a room together. He had no idea what this room was exactly for but Yelena explained it was designed for stronger individuals when they might get out of control. Someone like Thor, Hulk or Bobā¦Ā Stronger than any other room. Sound proofed. Equiped with so much shit that made Buckyās mind spin. So they hid the bottle here. In a safe. And thatās how they ended up in an extra secure bedroom together. Bucky stopped his mind from wandering elsewhere.Ā
āHow do you know that?ā
āBecause you are a super soldier.ā There was something in her voice when she said super soldier but he couldnāt put his finger on it. āEven Alexei would need more than that and you are definitely stronger than him.āĀ
Bucky raised his eyebrows. He didnāt expect her to notice or comment on that difference. He noticed it on the first day but didnāt say anything about it. It was probably because of the different serums. That was the only explanation he could come up with.Ā
āWhat about John?ā He couldnāt help but fish for more.Ā
āOh, one sip is more than enough for him.ā That made him chuckle. āIf I knew this would make you smile, I wouldāve roasted him waaay before.āĀ
āWhy is that?ā He sounded confused for some reason.Ā
āBecause you donāt smile enough.ā Bucky didnāt know what to say. It was definitely true but he wouldnāt in a million years think that Yelena would notice it or at least comment on it. He reached for the shot glass and took another sip. A big one this time. Hoping he would finally feel the buzz. āJust drink it all, will you?āĀ
āI donāt knowā¦ā Before Bucky couldnāt finish his sentence, Yelena stopped him.
āYou donāt know how much it would effect you and you are trying to be cautious, I get it. One shot wouldnāt kill you. We both know that. Just let yourself enjoy things without overthinking, will you?āĀ
āThatāsā¦ā Bucky didnāt know how to continue but Yelena did.
āThatās something you havenāt done in a long time and you deserve it.ā
He looked into Yelenaās eyes, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.Ā
āI see how much you try every day. How deliberate you are. You donāt let yourself slip. You are too hard on yourself. Just take the shot and I promise, I wonāt let anything bad happen to you.ā After the look in Buckyās eyes changed she added: āOr anyone else.āĀ
āYou might need Bob to stop me.ā He said before taking the shot. He was trying to lighten the mood because what the hell was supposed to say? She was right and he was still shocked she paid that much attention.Ā
āHe seems to be the only one who can stop you.āĀ
āHeās super strong.ā Bucky admitted without much hesitation.
āScary strong.ā That made Bucky look back at her.
āYou think so?ā Everybody thought so but Yelenaā¦Ā
āYes.ā She hesitated for a second. āYours, on the other hand, seems to be on the perfect level.āĀ Ā
Buckyās eyes opened with surprise. Did she really say that?Ā
āAre you flirting with me, Yelena?ā The words shot out of his mouth. It was supposed to be private question. He was supposed to keep that to imself. Oh, the Asgardian aleā¦Ā
āFinally you are catching on.ā Bucky froze for a second. Yeah, he didnāt expect to say those words out loud but he definitely didnāt think he would hear this response in return.Ā
āBut what about Bob?ā The question slipped out of his lips while his face move closer to hers.Ā
āWhat about him?ā She sounded almost dismissive.
āWonāt heā¦ā
She completed his question. āBe hurt? Why would he?āĀ
āYou two are close.ā He didnāt want to say the actual words. Not out loud.Ā
āYeah we are.ā their gazes met and as if she finally understood what he actually meant she added: āNot like that.āĀ
āOh.ā Something passed Buckyās eyes. Like he was trying to consider the possibilities and all the outcomes while feeling the buzz. Like he was afraid to make a mistake and Yelena noticed that. Before Bucky could say anything, Yelena closed the distance between their faces and their lips met for the first time.Ā
Bucky closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment he dreamed so many times. The softness of her lips wrapped him up like a warm blanket. That was something he hadnāt felt for ages. That lit something inside him. His lips started to move with purpose, with passion and he finally took the lead. He moved his hands on her face, fingers grazed over her cheeks. One of his hands moved behind her head, pushing her closer to him and Yelena moaned in return. She moved away from her seat, drawn to him like a magnet without breaking the kiss. In seconds, she was sitting on his lap and that made him moan loudly. His hands quickly moved to her ass, pulling her closer to him. They were already close and somehow it wasnāt enough. That made Yelena finally feel his boner through his pants and she moaned inside his mouth. Suddenly, Bucky grabbed her by her ass and stood up. It looked like she weighed nothing to him. He carried her to the bed without any effort but it didnāt sound like it. They were both breathing pretty heavily after that kiss. Bucky carefully put her on the bed. They were looking at each other with millions of questions in their eyes.
āAre you sure?ā Bucky finally broke the silence.Ā
āYes, of course I am. Are you?ā Yelena raised her upper body on her elbows.
āWhy wouldnāt I be?ā
āBecause you might be drunk and I donāt wanna take advantage of you.ā
That made Bucky laugh but Yelena looked pretty serious. He gave her a look and then clarified.
āIām not drunk. A little tipsy.ā Then he realized that Yelena had been drinking too. He felt so stupid not thinking thatĀ maybe she was drunk. He shouldāve thought about it before things got heated. āAre you?ā
āNope. Maybe a little tipsy.ā She echoed his response. Bucky smiled in return, feeling relieved.
āA little tipsy and for some reason, feeling relaxed. Like a bit too relaxed maybe.ā He was saying things he normally would think twice before uttering.Ā
āSteve didnāt tell you that?ā Yelena smiled back while asking.
āNope.ā It took him a second to realize Yelena already knew that. āWaitā¦ Is that why you offered it to me?ā
āI thought you already knew.ā She sounded a little defensive. Like she was caught doing something wrong. Then she admitted. āI was hoping to figure out if you are into me or not.āĀ
A warm smile spread on Buckyās lips. This wasnāt some random thing that happened. Not a drunk decision either.Ā She wanted to see if he was interested in her. And the word interest wasnāt even covering how much he actually wanted her.
āI wasnāt sure if I was doing a good job hiding it.ā He moved closer to her, feeling more confident now.
āMaybe. Maybe not.ā She looked so small under him.Ā
āHmmā¦ā Bucky was already lost in thought. He was trying to decide what to do first. There were so many choices. So many possibilities.
āBob was sure you were jealous of him though.ā Hearing his name brought him back to reality.Ā
āLetās not talk about him right now.ā He leaned in slowly for a kiss.
āI guess he was right.ā Before Bucky captured her lips, he saw the grin on her face.Ā
āYelenaā¦ā he murmured between kisses. It was the softest warning she has ever received.
āI guess you really are the jealous type.ā She knew what she was doing. She just wanted to see him break. He was so guarded all the time. Reserved. Precise. It made him so much hotter but Yelena needed to see what was behind those walls. She wanted to see him open up a little. Witness a side of him no one has seen.
āI am. I also donāt like hearing the name of other men in the bedroom.ā Of. The way he said those words made Yelena even wetter. Thatās when she knew she was on the right track.
āYou were fine when we were talking about Steve.ā She acted coy while Bucky moved just a little bit back, to look at her eyes. āWhat?ā Yelena asked when he didnāt say a word.
āI know what you are trying to do.ā His voice was almost rough. He could see through her act but that didnāt mean she wasnāt succeeding.
āIs it working yet?ā Her voice was cute yet impatient. She said it with the tiniest smile on her face. So charming and irresistible.
āWhat do you think?ā Yelena looked at him for another second before answering.
āIt seems like I might need to push you just a little bit more.ā She looked directly into his eyes before daringly saying: āBob.ā Buckyās jaw clenched and thatās all she needed to see. āJust a bit more?ā.Ā
āDonāt do something you might regret later.ā She knew he wasnāt threatening her. It was a genuine warning. He thought she wouldnāt be able to handle him. He was planning to take it slow. Now, he wasnāt so sure if he could do that.
āI am not that fragile. I know I can take it.ā She sounded more serious than before, just wanting to let him know that this wasnāt just a game. She knew what she wanted.
āYou donāt know that.ā Yelena could hear a hint of fear, hidden behind his stern voice and she just wanted to reassure him.
āI do. I have been watching you. I know what you are capable of. I also know you overthink. All the time. So I want you to let go with me.ā All that sounded great. Heād love to do that ifā¦
āLetās notā¦ā Yelena understood that he wasnāt going to accept it willingly. So she pushed one more time, hoping it would be enough.
āWell, Bob saidā¦ā She didnāt get to finish her sentence. Bucky suddenly grabbed her hands and pushed them together on top of her head.Ā
āFine!ā She could see that that was his last straw. Then before letting her say a word, his lips captured hers.Ā
His hands were all over her body, trying to discover every corner but her clothes were not letting him actually feel her. Suddenly, Bucky stopped kissing her and just tugged her top out of the way. He looked surprised just for a second because she wasnāt wearing a bra but then he just smiled lazily because it was just one less layer to remove. One less layer between his lips and her breasts. Without waiting any longer, his lips moved to her right nipple. Capturing it with his lips, tongue wrapping around it and swirling over and over again until he finally heard Yelena moan. One of his hands grabbed her left breast and massaged it roughly. His continued tongue movement finally made her back ache, making her moan even louder. That reaction encouraged him to take the next step. His flesh hand moved down on her body and slipped into her pants. His middle finger slided between her folds, gently at first but when he felt how wet she was, he dragged his finger into her core. When his middle finger entered her, her body jolted like it was electrified. He started to move his finger in and out steadily while he kept licking her right nipple. The sounds she made got louder and louder but when he finally added the second finger, she started to shake unexpectedly. That made him pause, just for a second. Just as he was about to continue what he was doing, Yelena cursed him in Russian.
āSvoloch'! Pochemu by tebe ne perestat' vyyebyvat'sya?ā Bastard! Why donāt you stop fucking around? That made Bucky smile.
āNe kapriznichay, davay-ka naberis' terpeniya!ā Donāt be a brat, come on, be patient! Yelena looked surprised.
"Nu togda perestan' uzhe menya draznit'!" Well then stop teasing me already! She nearly yelled but it was rather cute.Ā
āKhorosho.ā Fine. Ā
Bucky just continued what he was doing before. Two fingers in and out of her in a steady rhythm while his mouth went back to her nipple, teasing her. It didnāt take her long to go back to shaking uncontrollably. She moaned loudly while Bucky let her ride every last drop of her first orgasm but as she continued to make the most delicious sounds he had ever heard, Bucky realized he couldnāt wait any longer. He wanted to be inside her, as soon as possible. When she was done, he removed his fingers and licked them impatiently while she breathed heavily. Then without waiting he hastily removed her pants in one quick movement. It took her by surprise but she didnāt seem bothered by it. Then Bucky unzipped his pants while Yelena watched the gorgeous view from the bed. He threw the pants without care and came close to her without taking his shirt off.
āYou forgot something.ā She pointed with her eyes.
āDidnāt forget it.ā
āTake it off, Bucky.ā She sounded so firm all of a sudden. She knew why he wanted to keep it on and she wasnāt going to have it.
Bucky didnāt feel like fighting. So he obeyed without making her repeat herself. The t-shirt was on the floor in a second and Bucky was back being on top of her in another.
āNow, thatās better.ā She said while she threw her head back a little to be able to kiss Bucky. Her hands lightly roamed on his chest and shoulder. He moved his head just a little back to prevent her from kissing him.
āCondom or no condom?ā
āIf you are clean, no need for a condom.ā
āGood.ā It was like he was holding himself back until this green light. After he got the answer he was hoping to get, his hard dick was already pressed against her entrance.Ā
Yelena opened her legs a little more and that was enough of an invitation for Bucky. He rubbed the tip of his cock on her wetness, teasing her a little and getting ready before he made a move to fully enter her.
āFuck!ā Yelena wriggled under him. He was thinking exactly the same thing. His eyes were closed, trying to contain himself. God, it became even harder when she wrapped her legs around his torso. The wetness, the warmth and her eagernessā¦ Everything was so overwhelming. He took a deep breath and hoped he wouldnāt embarrass himself. Then he opened his eyes and started to move.
Yelena pulled him for another kiss and he dived in. It was messier this time. Raw, wet, tongue and teethā¦ It was so easy to lose himself in this sensation. Feeling wanted and needed. His lips moved onto her neck, kissing, nibbing and licking while he kept moving.Ā
āYou feel so good.ā He whispered into her ear. Then he kissed her earlobe, jaw and neck.
āIām close.ā Yelena whispered back. āBut I needā¦ā She paused because of a moan she couldnāt stop.Ā
āWhat do you need, doll?ā
āI need it harder.ā Oh, he would gladly go harder but this position wasnāt allowing him.Ā
Bucky suddenly moved back and he could read the disappointment on Yelenaās face. Maybe she thought he was edging her or showing off but that expression was soon erased on her face when Bucky flipped her over.
āOn your hands and knees.ā Sounded a lot like when he would give orders.
āFinally we are getting somewhere.ā Yelena teased him while getting into the position.Ā
āLower your upper body.ā
āI know how this position works, smart-ass.āĀ
Bucky didnāt say anything, instead he grabbed her feet and pulled her closer to the edge of the bed so heād be able to enter her easily. That seemed to impress Yelena. He moved his flesh hand onto her pussy, feeling her wetness and stimulating her clit at the same time. Then he grabbed himself and quickly reentered her.
āAkh ty..." Oh youā¦ She couldn't finish her sentence when he started to move the way she wanted. āO Bozheā¦ daā¦ā Oh, godā¦ Yesā¦
Yelena speaking Russian was definitely doing something to Bucky. He didnāt know why it felt like this. Maybe it felt more raw or autenticā¦ Like she was reverting back to her mother tongue because she couldnāt think straight anymore. He didnāt know if that was the case but it just felt like that.
Bucky continued moving fast and added force little by little. That turned Yelena into a moaning mess. Her face was buried into the sheets, hands were spread and gripping onto the sheets. Then Bucky noticed she was also moving her body with him and trying to amplify the pleasure.Ā
āShitā¦ā He murmured. It really wasnāt enough for her. He grabbed onto her hips and added more force.
āFuck, yes!ā She cried out. Her moans got louder while she started to tremble. She tried to keep it down by pressing her mouth onto the bed.
āWe are in a safe room, Lena, you can scream.ā
āIdi v zhĆ³pu!ā Screw you! Bucky laughed in response. Despite her reaction, Yelena actually stopped muffling her moans. Now he could hear her pleasure fully. āYeshchĆ³ā¦ā Moreā¦
āJesus Christā¦ā Bucky breathed out. She wasnāt making it easy for him to hold back but what did he expect? āSil'neye... ili bystreye?ā Harder or faster?
āBoth.ā Yelena responded in English but then added: āNe ostanavlivaysyaā¦ govori po-russki.ā Donāt stopā¦ keep speaking Russian.Ā
āPochemu? Tebya eto vozbuzhdaet?ā Why? Does it arouse you? He knew the answer was yes when she moaned in a way that sounded like a cry.
āŠŠ³Š°.ā Uh-huh. Thatās all Yelena managed to say out loud. She was too busy riding out her orgasm. When she finally breathed out loudly, Bucky knew she was done coming.
āAre you okay?ā He wanted to make sure he didnāt go too hard on her.
āI amā¦ great.ā She was still trying to catch her breath.Ā
āNu chto, gotova k sleduyushchemu raundu?ā So, ready for the next round?
āLet me breathe for a second.ā She said then added: āKakoy khvastun!ā What a show-off! Bucky wanted to laugh but held back. Only a big smile formed on his face. āOh, thatās what makes you smile nowZ. Why am I even surprised?ā
Bucky pulled her by the ankles, again and since she was still on her hands and knees, it wasnāt hard to bring her back to the same position.Ā
āNo, no, no.ā Yelena said in a tone that screamed she had other plans.
āYes, yes, yes.ā Bucky objected. āI want to try something.ā
āI thought we already tried this one.ā Even though she just refused his plans verbally, she wasnāt moving away or changing the position she was in.
āI thought you said you could take more.ā That did it. It convinced Yelena because damnā¦ she was curious.Ā
āPosmotrim.ā Letās seeā¦
They quickly fell back to the previous rhythm. Just as Yelena was about to protest, Buckyās flesh hand moved from behind and started to massage Yelenaās clit.
āOh, blin!ā Oh, shit! She gasped while clinging on the sheets harder. She wanted to say something but it was so hard to speak while the pleasure spread throughout her whole body. She could feel it from her head to toe. She never felt pleasure this intense in her life. The noises she made were nonsense and outright embarrassing.Ā
āTak priyatno, tak bezuprechno.ā So good. so perfect. That made Yelena moan louder. āDavai, ya ryadom.ā Go on, I'm right here.
The sound that came from Yelena would be concerning in any other context but there was no sign on her face that showed discomfort. She dropped on the bed with a scream. Thatās when Bucky finally stopped. Yelenaās hand moved to her face, like she was trying to hide herself. She kept taking deep breaths while Bucky just sat on the bed, waiting for her to collect herself.
āOkay, that was not the same.ā It took Bucky a second to understand that she meant the last two positions didnāt feel the same like she suspected in the beginning.
āWanna take a break?ā He asked while he leaned back on his elbows but Yelena had other plans. She quickly seated herself on his lap and looked directly into his eyes.
āTy uzhe ustal?ā Tired already? He simply looked gorgeous. His hair was a total mess, eyes were still fiery and lips were swollen.
āYa? Nikogda ne ustayu.ā Me? I never get tired. And him speaking Russian really did something to her.Ā
āOtlichno!ā Great! She raised her whole body on her knees and created space between their bodies just to grab his still-very-hard cock and align him to her entrance.
āDollā¦ā He tried to object.Ā
āProsto day mne.ā Just let me. Bucky just nodded and Yelena responded with a smile. Then in a second, he was back inside her. āI want us to come together.ā
āNe nuzhno toropit'sya.ā There is no need to rush.Ā
āU nas yestā vsyo vremya v mire. Ne nuzhno sderzhivatāsya.ā We have all the time in the world. No need to hold back. She said while moving back and forth in a steady rhythm. Her tits were bouncing with every movement and it was mesmerizing Bucky. He instinctively grabbed both of them. A lot harsher than he originally intended but Yelena just moaned and that encouraged him further. He squeezed them without holding himself back. Then brought the left one into his mouth and started sucking, so hard that Yelena yelped.
āShit, sorry.āĀ
āKeep going.ā She didnāt sound bothered but Bucky was worried.
āButā¦ā
āIām close to coming, James, stop holding back.ā Oh, that was unexpected. Yelena calling him Jamesā¦ That was a first. And it just pushed him closer to the edge.
āSay that again.ā He sounded so hoarse.
āSay what?ā Yelena tried to understand what was working.
āMy name.āĀ
āJames?āĀ
All of a sudden his hands were on her hips, helping her move faster. āYes.ā He managed to say.Ā
āCome on, James, come with me.ā Yelenaās voice clearly showing she was on the edge of the orgasm.
āLet go.ā Bucky commanded.
āOnly if you let go with me.ā
āLet go and I promise to follow.āĀ
āIf youā¦ā Yelena wanted to threaten him. If he was lying to her, that wasnāt going to end well for him but she didnāt need to say that. Bucky already knew it but instead of convincing her, he just started to fuck her back. Yelena couldnāt hold it back anymore. She moaned out loud while seeing the stars and that was the undoing of Bucky. He kept fucking her back. His eyelids fluttered and his fingers dug harder into her hips. That was definitely
going to leave a mark on her but neither of them cared. Raw moans spilled from his lips while he started to see white spots because of the intense pleasure. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his orgasm ended. Bucky tried to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. That was probably the longest orgasm he ever experienced in his life. He took a couple more breaths. Yelena was still on top of him, Bucky was still inside her and they were just looking at each other, feeling pure bliss.
āNow I believe you.ā Bucky was the one speaking first.
āHuh?ā Yelena had no idea what he was talking about.
āYou really can take it.ā He said with a huge smile on his face. Yelena slapped his shoulder, hard.Ā
Summary: You and Bucky Barnes are fuck buddies for a while. The problem is you have feelings for him but you don't think he reciprocates and it just makes it impossible to continue your relationship. Little did you know how much he wants you and how hard he's trying to keep it casual.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: +18, friends with benefits, idiots in love, unspoken feelings, miscommunication/misunderstandings, angst with happy ending, unprotected sex, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 3.4K
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
It is one of those days when you feel absolutely worthless. It wasnāt something you felt often before but nowā¦. It is starting to feel like your new normal. You know itās your fault, and it just makes you feel even worse. You let this happen when you let Bucky Barnes walk into your life without any consequences. Now he just has a free pass to destroy you anytime he wants.Ā
It was supposed to be just fun. Something casual because you know he has no intention of settling down. Especially not with you. Not that he said any of those words but he doesnāt need to. You just know it.Ā
Heās one of the popular guys in your college. Itās not surprising considering how handsome and charming he is. Heās also talented and hard-working. He takes school seriously unlike a lot of people around you. So when it comes to his free time, he just wants to have some fun, no strings attached and you were fine with this arrangement. You wanted to be close to him and this is the price: Your heart breaks every time.Ā
You donāt blame him but you definitely blame yourself because you put yourself in this position. If you werenāt so pathetic, you could simply say no and this regularly hooking-up arrangement of yours would have ended. Yet you never said no and he never stopped coming back to you. Probably because itās convenient, you canāt come up with any other reason. Like who says no to an easy fuck, right? That is what you are. An easy fuck. Still, itās breaking your heart every time he leaves your bed. You say to yourself āThis is gonna be the last timeā but when the next text or call comes, you fold once again.Ā
Thatās how you ended up here. Your face is buried in the pillow while Bucky is pounding you from behind. It feels good. Actually, it feels pretty amazing. It always does but this time your emotions are overshadowing the physical pleasure. Tears are streaming down your face and you are grateful that he canāt see it thanks to this position. Then a sob escapes your mouth and you feel betrayed by your own body.
āDoes it feel that good, doll?ā He sounds smug but you canāt answer him. Not while trying to hold the rest of your sobs back. That seems to worry him. He suddenly stops and when he takes a closer look sees that your eyes are filled with tears.
āHey, hey, hey! Are you alright?ā He sounds genuinely worried. You try to say something but instead, more sobs come out. āWhat happened? Did I hurt you?ā
He didnāt physically hurt you, yet you are hurt. You donāt know how to explain this to him. You feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. You pride yourself on how good you are at hiding your emotions. You donāt want anyone to see you cry. You donāt want anyoneās pity. Yet here you are. Eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping your lips and your heart is shattered.
āPlease talk to me!ā His desperate tone snaps you out of your thoughts. You try to turn on your back and quickly dry your tears.Ā
āItās fine. Sorry for killing the mood. I justā¦ā You hesitate for a second but no, you wonāt back down this time. āI just canāt do this anymore.ā
āThatās fine.ā That wasnāt the response you were expecting. āYou know itās okay right?ā His worry is so apparent in his voice. āYou can always tell me to stop.ā What is he talking about? āIf you donāt like something or you donāt feel like it anymoreā¦ Just tell me next time and I will just stop.ā
āThereās no next time Bucky.ā The words come out of your mouth before you can process them. You didnāt intend to be so harsh but it came out so definite.
āWhat?ā
āIām telling you that I canāt do thisā¦ā You wave your hand between you two. ā...anymore. Iām done. We are done.āĀ
āWhatā¦ā He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time. You try to avoid looking at his eyes while he struggles to find the right words. āWhat are you talking about? Did I do something?ā
āYou didnāt do anything. Itās all my fault.ā You have no intention to blame him. You know itās on you. He never promised you anything.
āI donāt understand.ā He sounds so lost. āJust help me understand what happened, okay? I thought everything was okay.ā
āThey were, for you. It was never okay for me.āĀ
You watch how his expression changes into something that breaks your heart even more. You never thought he would care this much butā¦ apparently, he does. Maybe heās not used to being rejected. Especially in the middle of sex.
āIā¦ I donāt know what to say.ā He looks at your face and then around. āI thought this is what you wanted.ā
āWhat I wanted?ā You repeat his words without missing a beat. āI never wanted this. This is what you wanted and thatās why we kept doing it. I was justā¦ā You hesitate for a second because you hate to admit it. āweak.ā
āWeak? You are never weak.ā
āOh, I am weak. This is why I kept saying āone more nightā to myself whenever you called or texted me. Iām weak as fuck and it makes me angry, okay? I shouldnāt be like this.ā
āDoll, what are you talking about?ā
His confusion confuses you as well. Canāt he see how much heās hurting you? Is he really that blind or maybe he just doesnāt care.
āThis arrangement might be working for you but itās not working for me, okay?ā
āButā¦ this is what you wanted.ā
āI never wanted this.ā
āYou said we canāt get emotions involved!ā He sounds somewhat angry this time.
āBecause you didnāt want emotions involved!ā Your answer comes instantly.
āWhen did I ever say that?ā
His question makes you stop for a second. He never said that but did he really have to? You know how popular he is. Everybody loves him. He has the prettiest face you have ever seen. You desperately wanted to be with him. You didnāt care how.
āJust look at you.ā
āWhat does that even mean?ā Is he doing this on purpose? He surely knows everybody wants him. Why does he have to hear it from you?
āIt means you didnāt have to say it.ā
āHow doesā¦ I really donāt understand you.ā His confusion is written all over his face. The way he hesitates makes you realize you have to say it out loud to make him understand.
āYou are handsome. You are talented. Everybody loves you.ā He keeps looking at you with confusion. He really doesnāt get it, does he? āYou can have anybody you want!ā
āApparently not.ā Why does he sound broken?
āOh, come on!ā Your reaction is instant. āYou know you can. Donāt act humble. Iām just easier.ā
āEasier?ā You donāt miss the disbelief in his voice. āEasier?ā This time it comes out more angry. āYou were never easy!ā
āYou know what I mean. An easy fu-ā
āDonāt you fucking dare!ā The tone of his voice startles you. You never heard him talk like this. āI never wanted just an easy fuck. Especially not with you but that was all I could get!ā Your head flinches back slightly. What is he talking about?Ā
āBuckyā¦ā He doesnāt let you continue.Ā
āI donāt know what has gotten into you because thisā¦ what you called it? Arrangement, yes, was never my idea! You were the one who didnāt want to involve emotions. You were the one who said anything more than this would affect our friendship. I never said that!ā
āI was trying to protect myself!ā
āYou never showed any interest to me!ā
You blink a couple of times, trying to process that information. What did he think you were doing with him?
āWhat the fuck are you talking about?ā
āYou never showed any interest in staying over. You never wanted to do anything outside the bedroom or wherever the fuck we were fucking. Whenever I tried to take you on a date, you came up with a lazy excuse.ā
āUhā¦ what?ā
āI tried so many times, sweetheart. You never let me in. You were only interested in sex and now you are blaming me for it. No. Be honest. If you wanna end this thing, itās fine. You donāt need any lies. I get it. I knew it would happen eventually.ā Heās speaking so fast, you canāt even find any opportunity to interrupt him until he stops.
āYou tried to take me on dates?ā He squishes his eyebrows together like he canāt believe you are focusing on that part.
āMany times. I suggested study dates, tried to take you on that concert, then that one comedy club thingā¦ā
āI thoughtā¦ā You donāt know how to finish that sentence.
āYou thought what? You knew what I was trying to do and you werenāt interested, so I finally gave up.ā
āNo, no, no.ā You jump from your awkward position on the bed. āI never realized.ā
āWhat did you think I was doing?ā
āI thoughtā¦ they were activities with otherā¦ people. Not dates.ā
āWhy would I take other people to a concert with us?ā Oh, he really doesnāt get it.
āI thoughtā¦ you had plans with your friends andā¦ you wereā¦ inviting me as well. Just to showā¦ we are nothing more than friends.ā
āOh, dear god.ā He covers his face with both of his hands. āSeriously? Why would you even think that?ā
You mimic him and cover your face with embarrassment. You donāt want to say it. Especially not to him.
āIā¦ just never thoughtā¦ā You donāt know how to say it without making him realize how low you think of yourself. āYou were interested in anything more than sex.ā
āIām handsome. Iām popular. Everybody loves me. Is that why?ā He repeats your words with that god-awful mocking tone and it hurts to hear. What you donāt realize is that heās making fun of himself.
āYeah.ā Your response comes out so weakly but he hears it.
He starts to laugh all of a sudden and all you can do is give him a confused look.Ā
āGod you are so blind.ā
āHey!ā You instantly respond.
āHave you ever looked in the mirror?ā You make a face but it just spurs him. āYou are gorgeous and smart. I always thought you were way out of my league.ā
āWhat?ā
āYou heard me. You are out of my league.ā
āCome onā¦ Thatās-ā He interrupts you again.
āPlease.ā The way he says it makes you stop talking. āI have been struggling to come to terms with you not liking me. I just told myself, you have done everything you can. You tried so many times. Itās a miracle she still wants to fuck you. I convinced myself this was all I could get so I tried to make peace with it. Now you are telling me you donāt want to keep doing this. What did you think I was gonna think?ā
He just baffles you with every word coming out of his mouth. You look at him, not knowing what to say or what to think, even.
āAnd you thought you were just an easy fuck? Jesus, doll. Do you have any idea how many times I prepared myself for rejection? Every time I called you, I thought you werenāt gonna pick up. Every time I texted you, I prepared myself to hear ānoā, and every time it did not come, I was the happiest man on earth because I had one more night with you!ā
You donāt know when it started but you start to feel tears filling your eyes.
āPlease donāt cry anymore.ā He moves his hand on your face and catches a tear before it drops on your cheeks.
āIā¦ā Itās so hard to speak normally. āI never thoughtā¦ā
āWhat?ā This time it comes out softer. You know he wants to hear it because he needs that assurance as much as you do.
āYou would actually like me.ā
āLike you? Oh, dollā¦ I donāt like you. The word like doesnāt even cover it.ā The smile he gives you ignites something inside you. Something you tried to push down for a long time. Suddenly you push him back a little bit and his mouth falls open but he doesnāt get the chance to say anything. You just sit on his lap, taking him back inside you and it slips right back in so easily. It makes you want to moan out loud but instead, you wrap your legs around his torso and trap him there.
āOh fuckā¦ā His moan is like music to your ears. Itās so raw and unfiltered.
You donāt say anything. Your hand wraps around his neck before you start to move. His hand quickly finds your breasts, squeezing them a lot harder than he ever did before.Ā
āYou are so fucking gorgeous.ā He says right next to your ear. You feel his breath on your neck and his lips attach to your neck as if he knows what you want. He starts gently. First, he sucks the skin and makes you whimper. Then his teeth graze the sore skin. When he finally bites the same spot, you realize he was just giving you some time to protest but it never came. His bite pulls a groan out of you and the way it hurts falters your rhythm.
āSorry, I couldnāt resist.ā He licks the same spot, trying to soothe the pain. āThereās a part of meā¦ā He tries to find the right word. ā...that wants to mark you. Show the world that youāre mine.ā Fuck, is he serious? He stops for another second to ask āAre you mine, doll?ā He sounds so nervous yet possessive.
āI am.ā You move a little back and look into his eyes while saying that. āI have been for a long time.ā
He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and pulls you in for a long, passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, making you burn with passion.
āIām yours, too. I think I always have been.āĀ
Itās your turn to show how much those words mean to you. You start to move again on his lap. This time itās faster than before and it just makes both of you moan loudly. He wraps his arms around your body while he supports your movement by grabbing your ass and moving you a bit faster than before.
āShit!ā It feels good but it also restricts your range of movement and he realizes it quickly.
āSorry. I just want to feel you all over me.ā
You want to say itās alright but heās a lot faster than you. Suddenly you find yourself on your back. Buckyās still between your legs. He never left inside you while changing the position.Ā
āWrap your legs around me, baby.āĀ
God, the way he says it sounds like a soft order. You can practically feel the desire running through your veins. Your legs are automatically wrapped around his ass while he starts to move but he doesnāt put any distance between you. His whole body is pressed against yours while heās kissing and licking all over your neck.
Sex with Bucky never felt like this. It was always good. You donāt remember any occasion you didnāt enjoy it or reach orgasm. Yet this feels like real intimacy. The way heās making you feel is indescribable. You can feel everything he said before while he moves inside you. How much he wants you, how much he adores youā¦ The way he clings to you fills you with love. All of it enhances the physical pleasure. Loud moans escape your lips.
āSoā¦ All this timeā¦ā Bucky starts to talk. āYou thought I was here because this is easy.ā
Ah, fuck. He isnāt gonna let that go, is he? You shouldāve known that. You roll your eyes in response but he doesnāt see it. His head is still buried in the crook of your neck.
āAll this timeā¦ I was where I wanted to be.ā Your annoyance quickly fades away as he keeps talking. āUnderneath your body.ā
āYou werenāt always underneath me.ā You answer him with a playful tone.
āAs long as Iām inside you, the position doesnāt matter.ā
āSoā¦ā You try to ask as quickly as possible before your sudden courage disappears. āYou havenāt been sleeping around with anyone else.ā
He raises his head just to look into your eyes.Ā
āAll this time, you thought I was fucking other people?ā
āI meanā¦ā You were just friends with benefits. What else you were supposed to assume?
āWere you?ā
āWas I what?ā
āFucking other people?ā His question is a lot more blunt than yours.
āI asked first!ā You sound so defensive all of a sudden.
āI canāt live without touching you, smelling you, feeling youā¦ I have been craving you non-stop, only stopping myself from calling you every day, just so I wouldnāt scare you away and you are asking me if I have been fucking other people. Jesus Christ, doll. How blind are you?ā
You are questioning the same thing yourself, to be honest. How blind were you? While trying to surpass your feelings, you were overlooking his, as well. Itās just unbelievable.
āDoll?ā You didnāt realize you were lost in thoughts. āItās fine if you have been.ā It doesnāt sound fine at all. It sounds like heās trying to rationalize it so it would hurt less. āIām not saying I wonāt be jealous but itās not like we were actually together.ā
You start to laugh and he gives you a strange look.
āYou are such an idiot and you call me blind.ā
āWhat?ā
āI only ever wanted you, you moron.āĀ
His smile is so big and bright, itās worth everything you two went through. His happiness is practically radiating. Suddenly, his lips are on yours, kissing you like a madman.
āYouāre only mine.ā He starts to move inside you again and you can feel how close you are to coming.
āOnly yours.ā Your words make him groan loudly.Ā
āFuck that mouth of yours. Youāre gonna make me come before you.ā
āYou can do that later.ā You tease him while moving your hips to meet him.
āIs that a promise?ā
āIt can be. Only if you fuck me just a little harder so I can finally come!ā
That makes him move away from you. He stands up and without losing any time, pulls you on the edge of the bed. You know whatās coming and it makes you smile like a fool. He positions himself between your legs while pushing your knees on your chest. In a couple of seconds, heās back inside you but the position feels so much better this time. A loud moan leaves your lips every time he hits that sweet spot inside you.
āHarder, huh?ā
āYeah. Just like that.ā Itās so hard to not roll your eyes with the pleasure heās giving you. Itās familiar yet it feels so different this time.
āMy girl wants it rough. Why didnāt you just say so?ā He sounds cocky thereās also a hint of eagerness in his voice. You can tell heās close.
āDo I have to tell you everything?āĀ
āFrom now on, yes. You have to tell me everything.ā That authoritative tone pushes you over the edge. āEvery fucking thing you feel, okay? Every fucking thing you want. I wanna know everything!ā
āYes!ā You practically scream. You donāt know if you are answering him or just screaming because of the way he makes you feel. Your legs are shaking violently while your whole body tightens up. āFuck yes. Please, please, please, donāt stop!ā Your eyes are closed while you are riding your high.
That makes him groan so loudly. Even though you canāt directly look at his face anymore, you just know heās about to come. He starts to pound on you so forcefully, it just unlocks another level of orgasm for you. Both of your moans fill the room and he keeps going until he empties himself inside you. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out of you and lays right next to you.
āFuck, that wasā¦ā The struggles to find the right word.
āOn another level?ā You offer to end the sentence for him. Thatās exactly how you feel.
āYeah.ā He doesnāt miss a beat. āWe shouldāve talked to each other before.ā
āWe were busy doing other stuff.ā You smile and he smiles back, knowing exactly what you mean.
āI guess we did everything other than talking things through, huh?ā
Summary: During your family getaway, things get a little messy when you meet Bucky's old friend.
Pairing:Ā (fake) boyfriendās brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings:Ā age gap (r is 26, Bucky is 38/39),Ā teasing, pet names, language, alcohol, mentions of sex, jealousy, no mention of y/n
Word Count:Ā 4.5K
story masterlist
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N:Ā This story will have around 4 parts, this is the 2nd part.
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
You keep coming across each other in the morning and during dinner for the next couple of days. Heād refused the offer, you heard from Jessica. You noticed he doesnāt enjoy talking about business in general, so you never open the conversation about it.
His family is really lying to him without shame, and you can sense how cold their bond is, but what can you do? You wish he knew... you wish you could talk about it with him. If only...
Thatās why you are surprised when both of your families decide to organize a getaway in Austria for the weekend, and Bucky is coming along.
Thankfully, the cabin youāre staying at has more than enough rooms even with Bucky and Williamās sister there.
Rebecca is a physiotherapist, sheās thirty and she lives in France. She seems very close to Bucky. Theyāve been hanging around a lot since you arrived.
You wish you could say you are close to your family. Youāve been barely speaking to your mom since this whole arrangement became a real thing. But you didnāt say even a single word to your dad. And Bucky noticed, but he didnāt comment on it even as he helped you get your luggage to your room.
āYou know I could have done that myself, right?ā You smile.
āNo need to. Your boyfriend should have, but heās a punk.ā He shakes his head disapprovingly. āNo wonder why you wonāt...ā
You immediately puff, anticipating what he wanted to say. Why does he want to bring that up? āWhat, fuck him?ā
āI was gonna say share the room with him. My little brotherās sex life is none of my concern.ā
You nod, all flushed. āGood. Iāll go take a shower and be right back.ā
You donāt know why you tell him this because itās not like itās his job to inform anyone. That should be Williamās, but heās not here. And even if he were, you know you wouldnāt ask him to.
āAlright. Uhm, see you later.ā
Bucky didnāt anticipate Rebecca waiting for him in the doorway of his room. She has a āI know everythingā look, making him blush even though he did nothing wrong.
āHow old is she?ā She asks soon as Bucky closes the door.
āWho?ā
āYou know who, Bucky.ā She jumps on his bed amused. āYour little crush.ā
He puffs in response as if thatās a real answer.
āCome on, donāt be mad. Itās okay. Maybe sheāll realize she is into older guys.ā
āRebecca!ā
āWhat?ā
Bucky groans. āYou are talking about our brotherās girlfriend.ā
Rebeccaās eyes glow, and he has no idea what heās just started.
āThey havenāt been together long though. I doubt two people who live in different rooms-ā
For some reason, he gets defensive immediately and interrupts her. āThat is their choice and you should respect it.ā
So itās hers, Rebecca puts two and two together.
āYou think he is that bad?ā Rebecca changes the subject a bit to get more out of him, and Bucky realizes, but he canāt help but ask.
āWhat?ā
āIn bed. She seems angry all the time.ā
She doesnāt remember the last time she saw her brother looking like this. This is more than a crush at this point. Heās annoyed, angry and livid, all at once.
āWhat? You never thought about it? Never heard them?ā
āCan you go to your room now?ā He snaps, trying to brush the images of you with William off his mind. It makes him sick to his stomach. āI donāt wanna talk about my little brotherās sex life!ā
Rebecca laughs, walking to the door.
āYou didnāt deny sheās your crush! And I didnāt even say her name, by the way.ā
Shit... He didnāt even realize.Ā Things are going too far, he needs to snap out of it.
āYour room, Rebecca.ā
āSuch a bad man, mid-life crisis hitting you for two years..ā She stops for a few seconds before she corrects herself with a wink. āOne earlier.ā
Bucky groans. āRebecca!ā
āSheās into you anyways, Buck. Youāll save him from dating or even marrying someone who doesnāt love him.ā
Somehow, her words set him on fire and cool him at the same time. Rebecca is good at reading people, and he sensed something is off about you and William, too, but how can he hope... how can he think about kissing his brotherās girlfriend even after a break up?
āShe was checking your ass on the stairs.ā She adds with a smirk. āAnd it was not subtle.ā
And then heās left alone with his confusing thoughts and feelings.
*
Somethingās wrong with him. Heās been completely āand obviouslyā avoiding you ever since he helped you with the luggage, and you wonder what you did wrong. As soon as you get inside any room he is in, he finds excuses to leave. Was your tone too rude earlier? You didnāt intend to get mad, but you couldnāt help it.
You know he is an adult, and he should be able to face you even if it bothers him, yet you canāt help but feel bad when you see him outside, in the cold.
You take the nearest blanket without thinking twice and open the door.
His head snaps in your direction, and you smile shyly, wrapping the blanket around his back.
āDonāt worry, I wonāt bother you, I just came to give you this.ā
His shoulders relax, and he reaches out to take your hand. āThank you! Youāre not bothering me at all. You can sit with me if you want.ā
Neither of you has any idea where this came from. You thought he didnāt want to be around you, but how can you say no to this?
You sit on the chair next to him and smile when he covers you with the blanket.
āNo, no. This is for you.ā
āIām not gonna let you catch a cold, love.ā His voice sounds authoritative but not distant.
āThen letās share.ā You grab the end of the blanket and adjust it until you are both covered. āSee? Perfect!ā
After that, youāre quiet for a few seconds, trying to find the right thing to say or ask him.
āAre you alright?ā
Bucky smiles. āIām alright.ā
āWell, you look alright.ā
He blushes and laughs at the same time, making you giggle. He looks so adorable like this.
āThen why did you ask that?ā
āTo make you smile. You were quite tense.ā
āWhen?ā He tilts his head, and your shoulders touch under the blanket.
āEver since we arrived, to be honest. Did I do anything to upset you?ā
āNo, love, you didnāt upset me.ā He immediately assures you, but youāre not certain heās being honest, and he senses it. āI mean it, Iām sorry if I gave you that impression and made you uncomfortable.ā
Itās easy to notice when he is lying at least. He surely didnāt intend to make you feel bad, but heās been avoiding you.
āDonāt worry about me.ā You sigh. āYou can just tell me next time, though. So I wonāt be in your way.ā
āWhat does that mean?ā He can feel the panic rushing through his whole body.
āI mean, itās your family, and they decided to have this random vacation. I could have stayed home.ā
Not entirely true because you were asked to come along.
āWell, your family is here too, plus your boyfriend. But itās irrelevant, anyway. I am sorry for ignoring you, I was justā¦ consumed by my thoughts,ā he says honestly, and you smile.
āItās okay. It happens to me too.ā
Especially when it comes to him.
āWhy are you not with William?ā
You try not to look disappointed as you answer. He has a point to ask you that. After all, William is your official boyfriend, and you two didnāt spend much time together. But you hate it anyway.
āYou want me to leave, huh?ā
You try to take off the blanket, but he doesnāt let you.
āNo, no. Donāt go, I mean... I just expected you two to spend more time together.ā
āWell, I wasnāt too keen on coming here. I have a lot of work to do on Monday, and I wanted to prepare some docs beforehand, but my parents forced me indirectly to...ā Bucky snorts, amused for some reason, so you stop talking.
āYou donāt like spending time with old people much, do you?ā
Old people? Does he mean your parents?
āBy old people you mean you?ā You ask jokingly and turn to him just to see him smirking. The little beard he grew over the last few days makes him somehow even more gorgeous. Heās probably, truth be told, the most attractive man youāve ever met.
āYep. Iām turning thirty-nine after all.ā
Holy fuck... The question is why you find this so sexy.
āThatās a very nice age,ā you comment amused, playing with the edge of the blanket. āYou make thirty-eight look very good.ā
You donāt have to look at him to know he is smiling again. Good, he should know, and itās not wrong to compliment someone.
āThanks.ā
You start to talk about random things shortly after: jobs, projects, random hobbies. He is shocked you enjoy origami, and you canāt believe he was in a band during high school. Well, you can imagine it, but it still surprises you. Itās comfortable and nice, but every time he calls you love, you feel yourself shivering more and more. And he senses it, immediately starting to brush your arms with his hands under the blanket.
āMaybe you should go inside.ā
āNo, no, Iām fine,ā you protest, melting under his touch. It feels so good. āCan I ask you something?ā
āI donāt know, can you?ā
āHa, funny!ā You playfully roll your eyes. āIs it your parentsā anniversary or something?ā
Bucky lets out a chuckle. āNo, no special occasion for them. Why?ā
āSaw a birthday cake...ā
āItās not for them.ā
Fuck, is it Williamās birthday? No way. Your parents would have told youā¦ you wish you checked the calendar with everyoneās birthday before starting this conversation.
āIs it Rebeccaās?ā
āNope.
āThen...ā You think for a little and when it hits you, you gasp. āYours?ā
āYep.ā He pauses, turning his head just enough so he can look into your eyes. āMy daddification era is starting.ā
Your immediate reaction is a burst of laughter as the lightheartedness of the moment caught you off guard, followed by a flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. It feels like your face is on fire.
āBut youāre not turning forty...ā You mumble, your words barely audible. āI mean, I had no idea. Iām so, so sorry, itās so embarrassing!ā
āSo no gift for me, huh?ā He teases, utterly unfazed. He hadnāt expected anything at all, and seeing you blush so furiously is endearing. āI feel deeply hurt.ā
Without thinking, you lightly slap his chest. āShut up!ā
āThatās not how you talk to your elders, maāam.ā
āOkay, dad,ā you snort in response, but thereās a momentary pause from Bucky. He holds his breath, a flicker of different emotions crossing his face.
*
The knock on the door doesnāt wake him up, but it surprises him. He slowly drops his phone on the bed and puts on the nearest T-shirt before opening the door.
Thereās no one there waiting, instead, he finds a tall cocktail glass made of paper with a note inside it. Confused, he carefully picks it up from the floor before getting back inside again.
If you donāt drink anything today, Iām gonna punish you... with my presence.
So think twice before refusing :)
Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes
*
What Bucky doesnāt expect when he gets downstairs in a great, great mood is to see you, Rebecca, and Cherry talking on the couch.
He freezes, shocked, but he doesnāt have time to recover before everyone starts to hug and wish him a happy birthday. Cherry kisses both of his cheeks and hands him a small gift, which he assumes itās a watch based on the size.
āSurprise!ā
Bucky smiles. āItās actually a surprise, I really didnāt expect to see you here.ā
āBecca said we should keep it a secret. When did I ever miss your birthday?ā
He instantly looks in your direction, worried for some reason you might misunderstand this situation, but you donāt seem mad at all. And why would you? You are with his brother. Youāre not his. Not even a little. Because if you were...
Rebecca smirks satisfied and hugs him too. āHappy birthday, grandpa!ā
He hears you laugh, and before he can think twice about it, he sticks out his tongue playfully toward you.
āKeep it low with the flirting, will you? Your little brother is in the room,ā Rebecca whispers, amused, in Buckyās ear before letting you wish him a happy birthday.
You stop awkwardly in front of him, wondering if you should hug or kiss his cheeks.
He makes the decision for you, grabbing you by your waist and getting you closer. You open your arms and wrap them around his back, shocked, knowing how intimate the way heās holding you might look. But you donāt care. You let yourself enjoy this as you rest your chin on top of his shoulder.
āHappy birthday, Mr. Barnes.ā
āThanks for the drink, love. The best gift I received.ā
You hide your smile in his shirt.
āYou havenāt even opened others yet.ā
āI donāt have to.ā
You bite your lip, breaking the hug before it gets too suspicious, and give him space so your mom can wish him a happy birthday.
Rebecca winks at you, which makes you even more confused, but you donāt think much about it, focusing on Bucky.
The breakfast goes well, with Bucky in the center of attention despite his obvious attempts to shift the focus to anyone else. Your parents decide to get some shopping done around lunch and get some food for all of you, so you donāt have to worry about much. William tries to do some affectionate gestures from time to time, but you ignore them as much as you can, without making it obvious. You still have to play your part.
Cherry seems like a nice girl. Sheās Rebeccaās age and they met during university. They all have been friends for a couple of years, and itās easy to see that by how comfortable they act around each other.
As they talk about some fancy place in Spain youāve never been to, you scroll randomly on Instagram.
You decide to search Rebecca and Cherry up so you can follow them, and as you look at Rebeccaās photos, one post in particular catches your eye.
You canāt hold back your gasp, which immediately draws Buckyās attention.
āYou good?ā
āYes,ā you answer absently and zoom in on the first pic. There are around ten people there, including Bucky, Rebecca, and Cherry. Itās clear they are all close, but you didnāt realize how close Bucky and Cherry are. They are sitting next to each other in almost every photo. In the second to last one, he is holding her by the waist in a very boyfriend way, which makes you close your eyes.
Of course they were a thing. Of course! And now sheās here... You feel close to crying and you donāt remember the last time you felt so stupid.
Why do you care so much? You are officially dating his brother and youāve been just friends.
You close the app quickly and stand up, ignoring Buckyās eyes on your back as you announce, for the sake of appearances, that youāre gonna take a nap.
You donāt let yourself tear up until you close the door.
What if they hook up again here? What if youāll hear them?
Jesus, anything but that! You couldnāt bear it... Youād be sick for real.
*
You donāt go down for lunch. Your mom comes a few times to check on you, then William, then your mom again with lunch.
You feel hurt and annoyed with yourself. You canāt act like a kid all the time, so when Rebecca comes to check on you, you decide to go downstairs with her.
Bucky looks at you immediately, concerned and confused, but you donāt let your eyes linger too much on him, especially since he is sitting next to Cherry. You drop onto the couch, next to William, and he smiles.
āFeeling better?ā
āMuch!ā You lie, but you do it well enough not to get questioned.
āSo now that weāre all here, can we see the surprise, Buck?ā Rebecca asks excitedly.
You watch Bucky get up without saying anything, and everyone stays quiet until he returns with a tray full of drinks. He keeps one to himself and takes another one that looks like a cherry mocktail while everyone else hurries up to take one of the drinks. Bucky heads toward you with a smile. āI guess I am not as rusty as I told you last night.ā
You know exactly what he means: his first job was as a bartender. He shared stories with you about glasses he broke in the first month, but how he learned, yet itās been years since heās made a drink.
You canāt deny the drink looks tempting, especially with your penchant for cherries, but the mere thought of sipping it turns your stomach. āThanks, but I canāt drink this.ā
Bucky raises his eyebrows, the wrinkles on his forehead becoming more pronounced. āWhatās wrong? Still feeling sick?ā
āNo, I just hate cherries. I canāt drink it,ā you lie in a disgusted tone, keeping your eyes on the table.
āDo you want me to make you another one?ā He asks immediately, surprised because he saw you eating cherries before. Why would you hate them all of a sudden?
Cherry herself is walking toward you with Rebecca, so in a moment of madness, you extend your hand. āCan I taste yours?ā
Bucky nods, and you immediately take the glass from his hand and take a sip.
It tastes okay, but itās not your favorite, for sure.
āThanks, but Iām okay.ā
āIs it bad? Should I-ā
āIām fine, enjoy your drinks, Bucky. Itās your birthday.ā You try to sound as casual as possible. āGonna get some wine.ā
āWine?ā Your mom's surprise is evident in her voice. āSince when do you drink wine?ā
āSpecial occasion. My brother-in-law,ā You have to force the words out of your mouth without choking. āIs turning thirty-nine.ā
You haven't even gotten tipsy until now, so the half glass of wine, combined with the lack of a proper lunch, makes you feel a bit dizzy. Rebecca immediately catches on and nudges Bucky, whoās been on the edge all night, to help you. William and your parents have already gone to their rooms.
Youāre half asleep when you feel Buckyās arms wrapping around your waist, causing you to open your eyes in shock.
āWhat are you doing? Let me down.ā Your face makes contact with his chest as you speak.
āIām taking you to bed.ā
You snort immediately, letting him climb the stairs with you in his arms. āYou canāt take me to bed, silly. Go back to your p-pretty... friend.ā
āIām carrying my pretty friend right now.ā
āSmooth talker.ā You sigh when he opens the door. āNot me.ā
āWho do you mean then, love?ā He helps you sit on the bed, and you instinctively reach for his hand, running your fingers along it. His skin feels remarkably soft and warm. You donāt remember the last time you found hands attractive. Or veins. At least, not like thisā¦
Deep down, you know you never stood a chance anyway. Even if you werenāt officially with William, youāre far from Buckyās type. Cherry, from what you've observed, is an amazing woman, and you can admit that he has great taste.
He probably sees you as too young for him, perhaps even as a little girl.Ā
You scrunch your nose, and Bucky sits on the bed too since you wonāt let go of his hand. He allows himself to enjoy this fleeting moment for a few seconds, aware that it wonāt last. This won't hurt anyone, right?
āSheās so pretty and nice, I get it.ā
āGet what, love? And who is pretty?ā He lets you take his other hand too as he gently asks.
āCherry.ā You sigh, tapping his palms with yours lightly. āI guess she came here to win you back. And I understand. But like... youād be wasted,ā you complain, grabbing his face all of a sudden.
Bucky leans in instantly, closing his eyes.
āIf something didnāt work once, why would it work now?ā You stroke his beard gently, taking your time. āI mean, sometimes it does, but I canāt see it happening for you. Youāre old,ā you laugh, making him laugh too.
āIām old?ā
āIhm, you are. The daddification era looks good on you.ā
Buckyās mind is racing now. From your touch to your words... he feels weak.
āThank you, love. But how do you know about Cherry?ā
āSaw some photos on Instagram this afternoon. You looked gorgeous and all over each other,ā you bite your lip, unable to stop touching him. Even if he doesnāt belong to you...
āIt wasnāt like that. It wasnāt serious, love.ā He brings his hand to your face too, caressing your cheeks, which only makes you giggle.
āHmm?ā
āWeāve been friends for ages and we just had some... fun for a little while, but it wasnāt a relationship.ā
You puff. āThat is a form of relationship too! And maybe she wants you now.ā
āI doubt that. But even if she did, I donāt want her like that, okay?ā
āBut sheās so pretty and funny,ā you add, surprised.
āMany women are. But I told you, there is nothing like that.ā His tone is serious, but you canāt understand.
āBut you had sex with her,ā you point out, visibly upset. You hate that even though itās silly.
āO-kay, you need to get some sleep.ā
You move your hand down to stroke his chin. āIām serious, youāre...ā You find yourself glancing down to his lap for a brief moment. Although you can't see anything, you just know itās big. āA whole package. Donāt waste yourself.ā
āYou think I want Cherry?ā
You donāt understand the surprise in his voice. Why wouldnāt he want her? If he wanted her once...
āYouāre so confusing,ā you murmur, and your eyes fall on his bottom lip the moment he licks it. Itād be nice to feel how soft it is. His mouth seems so soft and wet, and you bet he knows how to use his tongue. Ah... āYou wanted to have sex with her, but you wouldnāt want anything with her now?ā
Bucky smiles widely, surprised by your interest in his past. He knows itās silly, especially since you are with William for some reason and heās pushing forty, for fuckās sake, but he canāt help himself.
āIt was only for a summer.ā
āIs this what you do with everyone?ā He gasps when he feels the tips of your fingers on his lips as you speak.
āW-why?ā
āDonāt waste yourself, okay, pretty boy? They donāt deserve you.ā
Bucky literally chokes, completely taken aback.
āWhat?ā He gently grabs your chin. āWho doesnāt deserve me? Cherry?ā
āAll of them.ā You yawn, trying to keep your eyes open. āYou deserve a better family.ā
Youāre so sad for him. Theyāre lying to him, and heās so lonely.
Buckyās confused but also touched by your words. You probably noticed how tense his relationship is with his parents, and you paying attention to that gets him emotional.
āWe all do. But right now, you need to rest.ā
āDonāt go to her tonight, okay?ā
āJesus, princess.ā He strokes your cheek gently, and you giggle for a second.
āIām not a princess. But please donāt do it. I canāt hear itā¦ā
āHear what?ā
In response, you clap your hands together three times, mimicking the sound of skin slapping. āPlease.ā
āYou mean sex?ā
āDuh! At least...ā You shake your head, trying to fight tears. You donāt want to cry. āNot tonight. I donāt want to hear it.ā
Bucky sighs. Heās already told you he isnāt going to, but you mean sex now, and he wants to make that aspect clear too.
āI am not going to be with Cherry in any way, okay, princess? You wonāt hear a thing because there isnāt a thing going on, alright?ā
You nod happily and giggle. āYes, sir.ā You move your hand to your forehead, imitating a military gesture.
āWow, such a good girl,ā he snorts. āI expect this attitude from you tomorrow too, love.ā
You roll your eyes, still in a good mood. āIām sleepy, go away.ā
āAfter you made demands about my sex life?ā Bucky laughs. āShould I make demands about yours?ā
āGo away!ā
āOh wait, thereās no sex li-ā You hit him with the nearest pillow you find before he can finish his sentence.
āAugh! So aggressive.ā He leaves the room still giggling.
*
You wake up in the morning feeling well-rested, without any headache or stomach ache. You canāt believe how embarrassing you acted toward Bucky. Like who are you to ask him not to sleep with someone? You wonder how he hasnāt told you to fuck off already.
Heās so kind, and here you are, lying to him, just like the rest of the family. Just like William. Youāre deceiving himā¦Ā
Even if he was into you after all, you lying to him like this would ruin any potential relationship before it even begins.
You need to stay away from him.
Packing doesnāt take as long as you anticipated. William helps you get your bag in the car, and your family makes sure to remind you to be a good girl as if you are a naughty kid being left with a new nanny.
As much as you avoided Bucky until then, you canāt help but stare at him as Cherry hugs him. Indeed, there is nothing but friendliness all over his face, and you wonder if this is how itād be if you fucked him āin another universe. Youād still be his friend? You cannot understand this. Not even a little.
Unfortunately, you donāt notice Rebecca looking at you until itās too late. As she hugs you goodbye, her words make you freeze.
āTake care of yourself, and please donāt play with both of my brothersā hearts.ā
The shame floods your entire body, overwhelming you. You rush to the bathroom to splash water on your face, attempting to hide the tears staining your cheeks.
I don't know what Tumblr's problem with this story is. I swear to god, I don't understand. This is the second time I published For The First Time here on Tumblr and it got the same result.
I have had stories before that got mature content warnings. This story should have the same but no... Tumblr wants to hide it. I'm not even gonna try to publish it again.
If you wanna read this story, you can click here and find it on ao3.
Itās frustrating and feels so unfair but nothing I can do at this point. Iām just glad I have another platform to keep it published. Thank you so much for the support. Means a lot!
Summary:Ā Caught between playing the girlfriend of Bucky's younger brother and the unexpected allure of Bucky's genuine affection, you don't know what to do.
Pairing:Ā (fake) boyfriend's brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings:Ā teasing, pet names, language, no mention of y/n
Word Count:Ā 3.7K
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N:Ā This story will have around 4 parts, so this is just the beginning. And I also want to thankĀ @marvelouslizzie and @lavenderhaze967 for their support!
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
Itās hard to ignore how loudly he chews or how some water drips down his chin as he drinks between bites. For someone educated well, he has no manners.
āCome on, eat faster. Heās gonna come any second.ā
You drop your fork on the plate and give him a look. As if! āI am not gonna do anything like that.ā
He is his brother, not the devil. And he actually seemed pretty nice when you met earlier. The fact that William is so scared is funny.
āYou donāt ever listen to me.ā
āI wonder why.ā Your sarcastic answer gets a sigh out of him before he stands up, throwing a napkin on the plate.
āIāll take a walk.ā
āAnd? Do you want my approval?ā You literally couldnāt care less what he does or doesnāt. Heās annoying.
āNo, I told you in case he comes down...ā
You canāt imagine dealing with this version of him for days, or however long The Devil decides to stay. You snort. āGo ahead, take a walk. Take three walks, I can handle myself.ā
He leaves without saying anything else, and you smile, scrolling on your Instagram feed. Fucking finally!
You donāt know how your families considered this a good idea. You are close to hitting him every day, but it seems like things only become worse and worse. You just wish you could just run away and never come back.
āDo you mind if I sit here?ā
You look up, jumping. It must be ridiculous to be so shocked since heās the only one who could come here since William left. You let the phone down and wave to the chair in front of you.
āPlease, this is your house.ā
The Devil gives you a polite smile. Manners... at least one brother has them. āBut I donāt want to make you uncomfortable.ā
āYou wonāt eat me, right?ā
He gives you a look you canāt exactly decode, and that bothers you. You are good at reading people usually.
āNo, love, I wonāt eat you.ā He sits down amused, and you stare at his arms as he reaches for the chicken plate without realizing. Heās... big.
āBon appetit!ā You smile.
āI didnāt say I wonāt bite, though.ā
You freeze, thinking he is flirting with you for a second. But itās ridiculous, thereās no way. Everyone spoke so highly of him: how he is always serious, how heād be against this whole arrangement. No way heād flirt with his little brotherās girlfriend. āIs the chicken not enough for you?ā
He laughs softly, and you canāt help but stare at him a little more. He shaved and has a small cut right under his chin. Jesus, he is really hot! The little dimple, the eyes and that nose...
āDo what do you do?ā
āAs in for work?ā
āYep.ā He empathizes the p in a very childlike way, which makes you wonder even more how old he is. You should totally ask William later.
āI work for my parentsā company,ā you whisper ashamed. You always hate when you say that out loud, but, somehow, it feels even more embarrassing now. You can feel his eyes on you, but you donāt look at him.
āWhat do you do there?ā
āBasic HR work.ā
āIs the payment that low?ā
You snort. āWhat?ā
āYou sounded, so I assumed...ā
āIt is a little low, not gonna lie. But I mean, no nepo baby judgementā¦?ā You hesitate because you realize you donāt remember his name. Fuck! You and your bad memory.
āWhat? Why are you blushing?ā He leans in, placing his elbows on the table to get closer to you.
How horrible can this situation get?
āI just... can I ask something?ā
āI donāt know, love, can you?ā
You roll your eyes. You know what? He deserves it.
āWhat was your name again?ā
He doesnāt seem surprised or bothered by your question.
āFull name? James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. Should I write it down in case you forget?ā
He gently takes out a pen out of his front pocket and grabs your hand. You tremble a little as he starts to actually write his name on your wrist. The letters get a little smudged, but theyāre still clear.
Holy fuck...
Heās warm, but not too warm, so you wait for him to let you go.
āDo you always carry pens around?ā
āOnly on special occasions.ā He winks and gets back to eating, letting the pen on the table.
āHow old are you?ā You ask before you can change your mind as you keep staring at your wrist. He looks in his early 30s, and since heās the oldest one, it would make sense.
āDidnāt Will tell you?ā
You blush again. āYou can see my memory isnāt the best.ā
He sighs, suddenly shy and reserved, and you wonder if this is somehow a weak spot. But how would age be a weak spot for a man like this?
āOld.ā He smiles. āThirty-eight.ā
You try not to look affected as your eyes drop instantly on his left hand. No wedding band.
And he notices.
āHe didnāt tell you Iām single, either?ā
You take a few slices of cucumber and eat them fast. āWhy would he?ā
āIām his brother.ā
You throat feels dry as you nervously swallow. āAnd I am his girlfriend...ā
Bucky nods and immediately starts eating.
āThatās all?ā You ask. āNo threat not to hurt your brother? No background questions?ā
āHow old are you?ā
āTwenty-six.ā
āI would have guessed twenty-five.ā
You snort. āReally? I was told I look younger than that.ā
Bucky shrugs in response. āI assumed youāve been working for a while, and my brother likes them his age or older.ā He pours himself a glass of water, and you watch him drink without any shame, not even caring if he notices. Youāre already flushed, and heās a good view.
āI guess I fit the standard.ā
He bites his lip while placing the glass down and shakes his head. āNope, actually you donāt, this is why itās really interesting.ā He smiles. āHow did you two meet?ā
āThe office. He came with his... your dad and we met at an event,ā you answer instantly. Your parents have already made up the story for you, and you had to practice it a few times to make it sound genuine, which was a real struggle.
āWas it love at first sight?ā
You snort. āThat doesnāt exist.ā
āAttraction?ā
You try to subtly take a deep breath and pray youāll sound as convincing as you could. āLook, he seemed like a nice guy, good looking and smart. And he asked me out-ā
āHe asked you out?ā His eyes widen in sheer astonishment. āHe always waits for girls to ask him out.ā
This is when you snap. What is this? An interrogation?
āAnd? He asked me out. People make exceptions sometimes, Mr...ā you pretend you forgot his name again before you look at your wrist. āBucky.ā
āI understand. My bad, didnāt want to make you mad.ā
You puff because his tone in everything but apologetic. āI am not mad!ā
āNo, obviously. Just like you didnāt pretend you donāt remember my name a second ago.ā
You bite your cheek annoyed. āDo you not have something more important to do than this?ā You gesture between you two.
Not a smart move, but you are exposed anyway.
āBut this,ā he copies your hands moves. āis fun. And I am just getting to know my little brotherās girl. Since weāll live together and stuff.ā
What?
āYou plan on staying?ā
Bucky raises his eyebrows. āOf course.ā He smiles. āWhere is William? I want to know more about how he asked you out.ā
*
You canāt say youāve been avoiding William, but youāre not necessarily enjoying his company. Since Bucky came, heās been like a bomb, scared, annoyed, always suggesting you to move in his room because his brother will notice, but you brushed him off constantly.
Unfortunately, you canāt tell him to go away now, too, as he drinks coffee in his gazebo.
āDo you want to go out? For a walk or lunch,ā he asks, his voice carrying a hopeful noteĀ
āNo, thanks.ā You donāt intend to sound rude, but it comes out like this anyway.
His face falls, a subtle disappointment etched across his features, but he tries to hide it by taking a sip of his coffee. Instantly, a pang of guilt hits you.
āLook, Iām sorry, I just... I just donāt feel like going out.ā With you.
āWell, you should at least try to make an effort, we should be seen together, you know?ā he remarks, his tone slightly reproachful. You nod, realizing he must be also pressured by his family the same way yours pressures you.
āI understand. I assume they put pressure on you.ā
He sighs. āOf course they do, but like I think itās a good idea.ā
āWhatās a good idea?ā
You know itās Bucky not only by the way William stiffens, but you can also easily recognize his voice, and itās hard to ignore how attractive you find it.
āTo go out more often,ā you quickly say, avoiding his eyes. āI told him he should have fun since work has been stressful.ā
āWhat about you?ā He casually drops on the chair between you two and takes a bite from his sandwich.
āWhat about her?ā William asks, , his tension evident in his voice.
āDonāt you need some stress relief?ā
āIām alright.ā You finally look properly at him as you speak. Heās wearing a white tank top and his disheveled hair adds to the casual allure. Heās so well-proportioned...
āGood.ā He smiles and turns to William. āWhatās wrong, punk?ā
āJust work, you know? Business, you wouldnāt understand.ā
You and Bucky snort.
āSure, buddy, I wouldnāt understand.ā
āAre you having siblings time? Should I leave?ā you ask, hoping for a positive response.
āBabe, no need.ā
You try not to cringe at the way the word babe sounds coming from him and force yourself to give him a polite smile.
āPlease, babe, no problem.ā You stand up waving, toward Bucky. āBye.ā
Their brotherly time didnāt last long, though. You take a short shower, and as you finish dressing up, you hear a knock on your door.
āYou can come in.ā
You expect to see William's face when the door cracks, but no, it's not him at all.
āHi.ā
You freeze.
āH-hi.ā
Fuck, what will you tell him now?
āTrouble in paradise?ā
āWhat? No. Uhm...ā you look around. āWhat happened?ā
āYou sleep here, right?ā
āYep.ā
He leans his back against the wall, and you can't help but notice how good he looks in those shorts. Jesus, it's like you haven't seen a man in your life.
āInteresting.ā He laughs.
āWhatās so funny?ā You cross your arms, annoyed. He thinks heās superior or what?
āYou are telling me you two have been together for less than six months and you sleep here?ā
The judgement and amusement in his voice piss you off even more, as if the situation you are in isnāt bad enough.
āYes, and?ā
āAnd?ā Bucky comes suddenly closer to you. āAre you seriously asking that?ā
āYes! I donāt see whatās your fucking problem. How does where we sleep concern you?ā
āCanāt a man be curious?āĀ
Fuck your curiosity!
āWhat if we didnāt wanna sleep together now and wait... does that make us less of a couple?ā You let out your anger by screaming at him. You donāt think youāve said anything more ridiculous than that because, sure, you respect everyone who wants to wait, but thatās not you. There's no way you'd get engaged or marry a guy without knowing what your sex life would be like. No way!
āI didnāt say that, but I know my brother, and he is not this type of person.ā
You let a deep breath, finding it hard to take your eyes off his lips.
āWhat if I am?ā
He doesn't answer you, simply moving his right hand to his back pocket and taking out a small perfume, then handing it to you. "I think this belongs to you."
Shit!
āYes, thank you!ā
āSo you slept in my bed.ā
The way he says it makes it sound like you had sex with him or something. But it still leaves you breathless.
You take the perfume from his hand. āDonāt worry, I changed the sheets.ā
āSee you at dinner, love.ā He snorts, turning a little more toward you before opening the door. āYou got taste, though. It smells wonderful.ā
*
Maybe itās the hunger or the lack of sleep. Otherwise, why would this make you angry?
āYou look very well.ā You roll your eyes as you imitate him before taking a sip of your water. Fuck him for coming here and disturbing you. It was enough you see him every morning and after work.
You hear a knock, then the door opens as soon as you put your bottle down. He didnāt even wait.
āHi, love. How are you?ā A few heads turn toward him and then you, and you groan.
āIām well, thanks. Why are you here?ā
Bucky shakes his head. āThis is not a nice welcome.ā And then he notices everyone. āHello.ā
You hear a few āhiās, but he only focuses on you.
āWho are you waiting for?ā You ask, and your thoughts immediately dart to Dana. He complimented her earlier, after all.
āMy dad.ā
You roll your eyes. āFine, keep it a secret. I donāt care.ā
āIām serious.ā He snorts. āWhat has gotten you so worked up? Did you eat your chocolate bar today?ā
You puff, trying to keep your annoyance under control. āWhatās this question? Are you my mom?ā
You can't lie, though. The fact that he noticed your daily chocolate bar ritual makes you happy. Today, however, you didn't have time.
āI can be your dad.ā
That makes you gasp.
āBucky!ā you whisper, and he leans in. āWe are working here.ā
āAnd?ā
āAnd go away, you disturb us.ā
Bucky rolls his eyes and gets behind your back, dragging your chair away from the desk.
āBarnes!ā
Jessica laughs behind you. āSuch an older brother behavior.ā she says casually, and you frown. You donāt want people to consider him your older brother. Well, itās obvious why they do, but it still bothers you.
āI need you to come with me.ā
You sigh. āDonāt you see I am busy?ā
āCome onnn!ā
You tell Jessica youāll be right back and manage to take your phone with you before Bucky drags you by the arm to the hallway. Dana looks up, surprised, but this time he doesnāt even turn his head toward her, guiding you to his dadās office. Dana looks up, surprised, but this time he doesn't even turn his head toward her, guiding you to his dad's office.
āYou brought me here to be your babysitter? You are 38, not 8. I am sure you can wait patiently for your daddy.ā
He closes the door, and you try to control your breathing. Why does he make you blush so much? Itās been one month since you two met, and he still has this power over you.
āYou have a big sassy mouth, love, that is for sure.ā
You cross your hands. āAnd?ā
āAnd what?ā
āYou wonāt even deny you brought me here cause you were bored?ā
āNope. Why would I?ā
And there he is, getting closer to you little by little. You have to fight the urge to step back.
āInstead you talk about how big my mouth is...ā you murmur and he snorts.
āQuite a big mouth for someone with thin lips.ā
Well, that is a low blow. You donāt even have thin-thin lips.
āYouāre an asshole.ā You try to leave quickly, but he stops you instantly, realizing that made you mad.
āI didnāt mean it in a bad way at all. You have a spark.ā
āI am working. I do actually work, Bucky. It doesnāt matter this is my familyās company.ā You try not to yell, but itās hard. āI get youāre bored, but-ā
āI am sorry.ā
āFor what?ā You voice is a whisper, as youāre still trying to calm down. Youāre surprised he apologized so fast.
āFor being like a douche. Itās the opposite, I wanted your company because you are really nice and smart. I love our conversations. And you having a big mouth means to me you have an opinion and limits.ā He takes your hand and squeezes it.
As he speaks, you can't help but feel a mixture of warmth and confusion. His sincerity catches you off guard, and the tension between you begins to shift. Maybe, just maybe, there's more beneath the surface of his teasing and provocation.
You nod. Maybe you overreacted, he never said anything offensive to you. And you appreciate his company in that house.
āItās okay, I understand. I am surprised you are here, though.ā
He doesnāt let go of you hand, so you donāt either.
āHe said he has an offer for the office renovation.ā He shrugs. āI cannot refuse without talking first. It wouldnāt be fair.ā
You want to answer him, tease and maybe fish for more, but you hear the voices right outside the office and you let go of his hand immediately. As if it burned you, as if you were doing something forbidden.
William steps inside first, followed by his dad and your dad, surprisingly.
Bucky immediately gives you a look and takes a step back.
āYou came!ā His father welcomed him before turning to you. āThanks for bringing him to my office.ā
You realize this is your clue to go and you slowly walk to the door, intentionally ignoring your father. What shocks you is William grabbing your hand, the same hand Bucky touched before, and kissing your cheek.You realize this is your cue to go, and you slowly walk to the door, intentionally ignoring your father. What shocks you is William grabbing your hand, the same hand Bucky touched before, and then kissing your cheek.
āThanks, babe.ā
You have to clench both of your fists not to punch him in the face, refusing to answer him. You donāt know what bothers you more: the fact that he touched you so casually and called you babe again or that he did this shit in front of your families, and more important his brother.
You feel Buckyās eyes all over your back and face and you canāt help but turn to look at him. Heās expressionless.
You shake your head. What did you expect?
You get back to your office a little grumpy and upset. Jessica immediately asks you if youāre okay, and you brush it off. Fuck your family, fuck Bucky, and fuck his brother.
But the meeting is surprisingly short since you have Bucky back at your desk fifteen minutes later.
You just canāt take a break, can you?
āWhat?ā
āShouldnāt you have lunch?ā He looks around to emphasize his words, and you roll your eyes. You know everyone left but you.
āI have to finish a few tasks. Why?ā
āYour boyfriend left the meeting halfway through cause he was hungry.ā
You almost gag. Youāve never hated that word more in your life, but you canāt let him know that.
āAnd?ā
āWhat do you mean and? Why are you not having lunch with him?ā
āBecause I have tasks to do!ā You snap, irritate, while looking him in the eye. You obviously donāt want to talk about it, but he continues, seemingly unfazed.
āIs he gonna bring you some food?ā
āNo, we didnāt even talk about it. Can you leave me alone now?ā
You are so close to crying for no fucking reason. You canāt let anyone see you like this.
āPrick! He should have waited for you.ā He strokes his chin as he speaks, clearly annoyed with his brother. āWant to come with-ā
āIām fine. Had my chocolate bar.ā You interrupt him, your voice steady despite the emotional storm within. Finally, he takes the hint.
āOkay, love, I understand. Iāll leave you alone. See you home.ā He smiles politely and leaves, giving you the space you need.
Alone in your office, you let out a shaky breath, your hands covering your face as you start sobbing. Itās really touching how understanding Bucky is, even if heās teasing you. Itās a precious reminder that, amidst the chaos, there's someone who actually cares about your well-being.
*
You wait for William to return from his lunch break, and as soon as you see him, you drag him to his office quickly
āEasy! It hurts.ā
āGood, itās supposed to hurt!ā
āWhat did I do?ā He genuinely asks.
āYou fucking touched me. You kissed my cheek. Did I allow you?ā
āWhat?ā He raises his eyebrows. He doesnāt remember seeing you so angry before.
āI asked you when I gave you permission to put your hands on me!ā
āIām supposed to be your boy-ā
āBut you are not my fucking boyfriend! You donāt have the option to touch me unless I let you by telling you that you can. And you donāt even have to display a shitty facade because guess what? He doesnāt care.ā
āLook, I didnāt mean to...ā
āYou didnāt mean to what? Get in my space? Take advantage of the situation?ā The bitterness in your tone echoes your frustration. āYouāre just a man, thatās what you do.ā
āNot all-ā
You laugh humorlessly, not even a little surprised. āNot all men, right? Well, I heard that one before. But you are officially in all-men category.ā
You leave like a storm, letting the door open, and before you can get back to your desk, Dana calls your name.
āHi, what happened?ā You try to sound calm.
āYou got a delivery and a note.ā She hands them both to you and you canāt help but ask:
āA note?ā
Who writes notes anymore?
āYes.ā
You take them from her desk, but you donāt enter your office. You want to read the note first, without Jessicaās eyes on you.
If you donāt eat, Iām gonna punish you... with my presence.
So think twice before refusing :)
You almost cry again right there in the middle of the hallway. Fuck him! Just fuck him!
How are you supposed to stop thinking about him when he does this?
Summary: You want to try something new and Bucky isn't sure if he can do it.
Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+, established relationship, teasing, dirty talk, pet names, edging, no protection, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 1.9K
A/N: I wrote this little filthy story because of my friend Andreea's prompt. I'm glad it turned out to be something decent.
You can also send me requests if you want. I can't guarantee I'll write it but I'll certainly try.
Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing ā¤ļø
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
You thought explaining why you wanted this or even convincing him to do it would be harder, but it was quite the opposite. Bucky Barnes is a guy who loves to give, especially when it comes to pleasure. Itās like heās thriving on your pleasure while heās delaying his own. He never made you wait or made you beg for release. Not once. And you really want to be desperate for some reason. And you have no intention to find out why. You just want to experience it. You want him to tease you relentlessly, deny your orgasm, and finally when he allows it, you want it to be explosive.
Itās easy to imagine him doing all those things to you, but the idea of explaining it is just dreadful. Thatās why you were so reluctant. You werenāt sure if he would like the idea or maybe he would misunderstand your intention. None of that happened, though. You just said you wanted to try it and as you started to explain why, you noticed how his eyes were shining mischievously. Thatās when you realized it was more than okay for him.
And thatās how you ended up all naked and frustrated on your bed. Bucky is a man of his word, so when he said he was going to enjoy this, he was not lying. He has been teasing you for a while now, and all you feel is frustration and of course, that undeniable anticipation.Ā
āBuckyā¦ā You whine as heās moving so damn slowly inside you. The touches, the kisses, his damn tongueā¦ It all feels good but not enough to make you come.
āYes?āĀ
The way he looks into your eyes makes you melt. You are so close to forgetting that he has been torturing you. He has been denying your orgasm every time you are getting close, yet the look in his eyesā¦ It shows his true feelings.
āWhat do you want, baby?ā
He sounds like he has no idea what you want. You wish you could hate him for this, but you canāt. Youāve been imagining how this would feel like for so long, and heās just turning your fantasy into reality while enjoying the ride.
āI wanna come.āĀ
You donāt care if you sound desperate because you are. You are desperate to come. You want that relief you took for granted for so long. All those times he never denied you, all those times he never even paused for a second before giving you all the pleasure in the world.
āBeg for it.ā
His response surprises you. You can see the desire in his eyes and how much heās actually enjoying this, but you never expected that he would be so into it. Maybe he didnāt know it either, but he definitely loves the state you are in. He even seems to enjoy edging himself because while torturing you, heās torturing himself as well.
āBeg?ā
āYes, baby. Beg. Isnāt that what you wanted?ā
āI-ā You canāt deny that, can you? You always imagined it this way, but you never actually begged before. Itās easier when you are just imagining things, but looking at his face and saying those wordsā¦ It feels incredibly hard.
āIf you are not ready to beg yet, you are not ready to come, sweetheart.ā
Oh, thatās awfully cruel of him yet so freaking hot. He knows you want to do this so badly, but your pride is standing in the way, and heās willing to take you to the point where you wouldnāt care about it anymore. Yet your mouth says something else.
āBut I am so closeā¦āĀ
āI know.ā He moves in and out of you. His pace is torturously slow, yet it still feels amazing.
Then his fingers move onto your clit, gently rubbing it, and you feel a jolt of electricity all through your body. Itās like a promise. The promise of blinding pleasure, but he stops after a couple of rubs and makes you whine.
āYou know what you have to say, donāt you?ā You nod in response, tears are beginning to well up. āYou can get what you want, any time you want.ā You know that, but itās like your mouth is having a hard time saying those words. āAnd you know we can stop this any time you want, right?ā
Heās trying to remind you of your safe word, but you donāt want to stop. You have no intention of using it.
āPleaseā¦ā Your voice comes out so pathetically, but it makes him smile. Why is it so hard to say?Ā
āPlease what?ā He combines his words with actions. He moves a little bit harder inside you, and it reminds you of what you need. All you need is to ask him, and you know he will give it to you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, bracing yourself to beg.
āPlease move harder.ā When you open your eyes back up, you see Bucky smirking. It just spurs something inside you. āPlease, pleaseā¦ā
āOh, babyā¦ā He sounds so condescending yet loving at the same time. You have no idea how thatās even possible. āYou really need it, donāt you?ā
āYes!ā Your answer comes out instantly. Fuck your pride, you need this.
āThen you will get what you want.ā You feel relieved but it doesnāt last long. āBut I have one condition.ā He completely stops while talking. āYou wonāt come before I say you can, got it?ā
āButā¦ā
āI will move faster and harder, like you asked me to, but you gotta hold it.ā He sounds like heās explaining edging to someone who has no idea what it is. āShow me what a good girl you can be, and I will give you what you want.ā
Fuckā¦ Heās making it so hard and hot at the same time. You really didnāt think he would take it this seriously. You thought just a please would be enough for him but itās not. Yet you canāt seem to find it in your heart to regret asking him to do this.
āCan you do that for me?ā
āIā¦ I donāt know. Iāve never tried it before.ā
āI know you can take it, sweetheart. Just show me how good you are.ā
Heās a menace. He knows praising you will help and heās using it damn well. So you find yourself nodding, and thatās when he finally starts to move again.Ā
His hands are grabbing your waist, while heās fucking you the way you imagined it. Itās rough, itās fast, but god damn, it feels amazing. You feel your orgasm is quickly approaching, especially after all that teasing, and you try not to focus on the pleasure. Itās so hard to move against your nature. Your body just wants to give into it and enjoy it to the fullest, but no, thatās not what your mind wants. So you close your eyes to fight it. Maybe that will help.
āNo, no, no.ā You hear Bucky saying. āYou gotta look me in the eyes, baby. No cheating.ā
āBut thatās notā¦ā He doesnāt let you finish.Ā
āBut it is.āĀ
āFine.ā You know you sound like a child when you open your eyes back to see his pretty ones. They are so full of love and desire. You could come just looking into his eyes but you wonāt. Not until he says so. You want to experience that crashingly intense orgasm.
āGood girl.āĀ
As if calling you a good girl with that deep voice of his isnāt enough, he starts to gently rub your clit and you can feel yourself clenching around him. Your pussy is begging for release. So are you.
āYou are doing so good for me, baby.ā His voice is full of adoration. āYou look so beautiful. All spread for me. Just waiting for my command to come around my cock.ā He slams so hard inside you that it makes you moan even though you were trying to hold back all this time. āLet me hear you. You make such pretty noises.ā
āPlease, Bucky.ā Itās so hard to hold back. You can feel tears running down your cheeks. You never wanted to come this badly in your life before. āPlease let me come.ā
Finally, those words come out of your mouth. It has been a tough journey, but finally, you can ignore your pride and just ask for what you really want.
āThatās all I needed to hear.ā He suddenly pushes your legs onto your chest, practically folding you into two. That allows him to move deeper inside you. āYou can come now,ā he says right before he starts to move again.
And just like that, you start coming on his command. Itās unbelievable how your body was just waiting for four words to come out of his mouth. All that teasing, all the build-up and anticipation pays off. Your whole body starts to shake while heās railing you like thereās no tomorrow. Your head is thrown back, your eyes are closed and your lips are parted with the most delicious moans coming out of them.Ā
āThatās it, baby. Take it all.ā He sounds like heās close himself, but you are too lost in the bubble of pleasure to do or say something about it.Ā
Itās nothing like you have ever felt before. Itās so intense that thereās no thought in your mind, other than Bucky and how good he makes you feel. Itās so long that you forget to breathe for a while. Your ears are buzzing, and your muscles are contracting. You never knew this was possible. You never knew it would be better than you imagined.
When you finally come down from your high, you open your eyes to see Bucky with the most pleased expression. He hasnāt come yet. You can feel how hard heās inside you, but you can see how accomplished he feels.
āGod, you are so fucking beautiful.ā He keeps moving with the same pace, chasing his high.
āCome for me, Bucky,ā you say while you reach out to touch his face. He has been working so hard to make your fantasy real. āCome inside me. Please.ā
āFuck.ā You can see heās about to come. The veins around his eyes get so visible when heās close. āYou want it, baby?ā His voice comes out like a groan.
āYes. I want it. Please, give it to me.ā
That does it. You just watch how he starts to come and damn, itās such a pretty sight. You have seen this many times before, but it never ceases to surprise you. Him losing himself in pleasure like thatā¦ Especially when you know you are the reason for it. You are the reason why heās so turned on. You are the reason why he comes so hard. You are the one doing this to him.Ā
When heās done, he gently moves out and rolls next to you. You whine a little because of how empty you suddenly feel. You feel his hot and deep breaths on your neck. As soon as you think you are feeling a little cold, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.
āThank you,ā you say quietly, as if youāre afraid someone else will hear you.
āItās my pleasure, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I enjoyed that.ā
āOh, I saw how much you enjoyed it, Mr. Iām Not Sure If I Can Do This.ā
He scoffs at you bringing up his first reaction. Oh, how wrong he was. It was a completely unexpected experience.
āMaybe we should try choking next time.ā You test the waters reluctantly, but the look heās giving you is nothing but promising.
Sorry your story is being hidden. Tumblr fucking sucks. Yet check the Sebastian stan smut tag and it's full of porn bots. Why doesn't Tumblr do anything about that?š
Thank you so much. It really sucks because I donāt understand the reason. I appealed when it happened for the first time and it got rejected in 15 minutes. Like what part of that story is against the guidelines? I guess I will never know.
And you are right about the porn bots. I get them as suggested posts on my timeline just because I follow Sebastianās tags and yet they are doing nothing about it.
I will add the story on my masterlist with ao3 link I guess.
I don't know what Tumblr's problem with this story is. I swear to god, I don't understand. This is the second time I published For The First Time here on Tumblr and it got the same result.
I have had stories before that got mature content warnings. This story should have the same but no... Tumblr wants to hide it. I'm not even gonna try to publish it again.
If you wanna read this story, you can click here and find it on ao3.
Summary: A year after your divorce, you and Bucky come face to face at your closest friends' wedding. Emotions run high, leading to a fiery confrontation that takes a detour to Bucky's hotel room, where the old flame might just reignite.
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
What an ass... He has no shame at all. And the worst part? Youāre still somehow surprised by it. As if you havenāt known him for years.
You look away, making sure to take a sip from your wine before focusing on the conversation again. Itās Natās big day, and youāre so happy for her, but listening to this story for the seventh time is exhausting. Same reactions, too: āWow, heās so well trained.ā or āThe wedding bands didnāt fall even once. Enzo is fantastic.ā Heās a trained dog, you donāt get why theyāre so fucking impressed.
You give Nat a smile before you excuse yourself to go to the bar. Maybe you should get a cocktail, the wine tastes terrible. On the way, you notice Steve talking to Miss Sunshine in the right corner, and you just nod toward him politely, trying to look unbothered. Itās his best friendās girlfriend after all. What did you expect? Plus, maybe itās just a polite conversation.
āA Sex on the Beach, please,ā you murmur to the bartender.
āVodka so early?ā
You turn your head with a sigh just to see a guy you recognize from Natās engagement party. A fresh haircut, a simple suit and wandering eyes.
āIs there a time limit for a cocktail?ā you respond, rolling your eyes when you notice he is still fixated on your chest.
He immediately raises his hands in defense as he takes a seat next to you.
God, if you hate one thing about being single besides the lack of sex is thisā¦ needing to deal with those men. It was perfect when Bucky used to take care of them.
āI didn't mean it like that, sweetheart.ā You scrunch your nose instantly. God no!
āHere you go!ā The bartender places the glass gently in front of you, and youāve never been more grateful to see her.
āThank you!ā You smile before taking a huge sip, hoping it will turn him off and make him get away.
āA vodka tonic for me.ā His tone is commanding, and you try not to roll your eyes again as he leans in closer. āWeāre matching.ā
āHuh?ā You choke.
āVodka lovers.ā
Alright, time to get out of here!
You quickly grab your glass and stand up, making sure to fix your dress just in case, but his eyes are already on your breasts again. For fuckās sake! How is he Steveās cousin?
And talking about Steve, you almost jump when you hear him saying your name.
āHey.ā Youāve never been happier to see him.
You canāt say the same thing about his friend, whoās right next to him, looking the creepy blondie up and down.
āIs everything alright?ā Steve asks with obvious concern.Ā āDo you feel okay?ā
āHey, man! The food is great and the company even better. Look at her, such an eye candy, am I right?ā He chuckles at his own disgusting comment. āI mean, youāre married. Donāt answer that, I donāt want Romanoff on my back.ā And after all of this, he has the audacity to wink at Steve. But before you can throw your cocktail over his shirt and make a scene, Buckyās already getting in front of you, blocking your view with his huge back.
āIf you want to keep your teeth, get the fuck out of here and never, ever get even within three feet of my wife. Am I fucking clear?ā
His tone is so cold, harsh, and arrogant at the same time, but also so possessive. It surprises both: you and Steve, because he immediately looks at you confused before dropping his eyes on your hand.
He must be looking for a ring.
God, you never hated Bucky more than when you see blondie standing up and going straight outside just like that. It makes you even angrier because itās always a man who has to explain the obvious signs to these assholes so they leave. You say no? You are playing hard to get. You are with a man? Then itās all off-limits.
You sip your cocktail with frustration, the taste of vodka lingering on your tongue.
Then, you take a step toward Bucky, grabbing his arm and turning him so he can face you. āListen and listen good, Iām not your wife and I donāt need you to play the macho hero! I can handle myself, so back off!ā You wanted to leave after saying this, but the way he looks at you makes you change your mind. His eyes softened, showing a trace of your old Bucky, and it only pisses you off more. He labeled you just like that... āI divorced you for a reason, Iām not your property or responsibility. Stay out of my fucking business or Iāll show you exactly how well I can take care of myself!ā
You hand him your half-full glass and storm out, seeing red. Or well, blue.
You anticipated that heād come after you, of course you did. You know him, as much as you hate to admit. You still know him well. Too well.
And when you hear his sigh behind you, you donāt jump.
āYou can handle yourself, but he was all over you. Sorry for being a gentleman.ā He apologizes sarcastically. āI guess old habits die hard.ā
āToo bad, Barnes! I am not your little wife. I am not your girlfriend. I am not even your friend.ā You turn your head to look at him as heās standing on the other side of the balcony. āAnd I am not that flavor of the month of yours, you have to kill these habits.ā
He raises his head. āFlavor of the month?ā
āYeah, your plus one. You know, you should take care of her instead of trying to play hero and calling me your wife.ā
āKeeping an eye on me? He smirks. āThought you divorced me for a reason.ā
Fuck him! He thinks he got you... āI did! You couldnāt open your mouth to say what bothers you, remember?ā
āWell, I opened my mouth to do something else, far more exciting.ā
You gasp, incredulous at his audacity.
āWhat the fuck is wrong with you?ā You scream, walking toward him. āSeriously!ā
āWhat is wrong with me? You tell me! You divorced me for a reason.ā
āDonāt you have someone else to bother? Fuck off already, Bucky!ā
āYou got angrier with me now than back there with him. Unbelievable!ā He shakes his head.
You take a deep breath, trying not to have a crisis. You are not gonna let him get to you. āLook, can you just pretend this didnāt happen?ā
He instantly looks at you shocked as he leans in. āThis as in,ā he waves between you two. āOur marriage? You think I can pretend our marriage never happened?ā His voice grew louder, his words punctuated by sharp, angry inflections. āYou think just because we divorced, you get to ask me that? How can you...ā
Youāre taken completely aback by his whole attitude, and itās like youāre back in time at your wedding as he made you sneak out so he can make you come on his tongue after saying all sorts of things.
You donāt know why you suddenly remembered that, but you need to snap out of it.
āI meant the whole interaction, you annoying man!ā
āHow was I supposed to know?ā He looks much more relaxed now, though, and before you can think about it, youāre poking his chest.
āWhy would I tell you to forget about our marriage, Bucky?ā You smile. āYou are more than free to think about me as you fuck your little flavor of the month. I am not gonna stop that.ā
You see his eyebrows raise instantly as his gaze drops to your finger. āMy little flavor of the month? How many times did you think about me fucking her?ā His hand finds your wrist. āDid you wonder if Iām fucking her from behind as I choke her? Did you imagine me coming all over her tits? Did you-ā
You grab his cheeks, just the way he likes it, to stop him.
āYou think I have nothing better to think about? I have my own dicks that occupy my thoughts,ā you lie through your teeth, and he knows it. God, he knows it as he chuckles right away.
āWhatās so funny, Barnes?ā You let go, expecting him to do the same, but heās still holding your other wrist.
āYou have no dick to think about. I know you broke up with your last flavor of the month, honey.ā
He knows how much you hate being mocked with the word honey, but you bite the inside of your cheeks. āItās funny really,ā you fake giggle, looking up at him. āYou assume I donāt have someone already. Maybe Iām just enjoying my life after our divorce... new dick every month since I am a free woman. I donāt even need something serious. You know how much I love sex.ā
His smile immediately drops, his face reddening.
āYou are absolutely infuriating!ā Even his tone carries a sense of irritation.
āAww, what happened?ā
Itās his turn to grab your face, making you gasp. You donāt remember the last time he touched you, and youāre shivering.
āYouāre playing a very dangerous game, and you know it!ā
āI donāt play games, Bucky, that is your specialty.ā You smile, trying to maintain your composure. āNow let me go and get back to your little girlfriend. You can be mad about how many dicks she thinks about.ā
āYou canāt do the whole non-attachment shit. I know you well, donāt forget that. Youāre my...ā He talks so fast youāre surprised he stopped. You know what he was gonna say, of course you know. The audacity!
āI am not your wife, Bucky. You literally have a woman with you here tonight. We divorced, we live in separate places, and we fuck different people.ā
āWho are you fucking, huh?ā He almost spits the last words. āTell me! Nat said youāre single.ā
āYouāve been asking Nat about my personal life?ā And she is spilling to him? No way.
āFuck...ā he frowns, dropping his hand from your face. āNo.ā
āSteve!ā You realize. āGod, this is pathetic! Why do you keep tabs on me, huh? Canāt you just mind your own business? Is your life goal to piss me off?ā
āIām not the one calling Jessica the flavor of the month.ā
āHa!ā You laugh in his face. āWell, you have no success in getting a girlfriend. And they all look pretty familiar.ā You canāt hide the venom in your voice. āThe differences are theyāre just taller and with less in the chest department. Quite interesting, donāt you think?ā
āSo youāre keeping tabs on me too!ā
āYou flatter yourself. Itās quite obvious, look at Jessica. Does she know you were married to me? Does she beg you to fuck her mouth? Does she...ā You take a deep breath. āDoes she call you daddy, James? Does she ride you until you lose control and turn her on her back so you can pound her?ā You donāt care anymore. Right or wrong, youāre gonna let it all out. āDo you praise her? Tell her how wet she is for you? How your cock is made for her? Do you... do you tell her you love her while sheās coming? Do you fucking call her your good girl?ā
āJesus-ā You donāt let him continue his sentence, interrupting him.
āDoes she take you like I did? Does she beg for you because she feels empty, James? Does she? Did any of them?ā
āStop. It.ā
āWhy? You didnāt stop!ā
He sighs, reaching out to grab your cheeks gently. āNo one does, are you happy? I donāt even fucking try. I donāt let anyone call me daddy, I donāt choke anyone and I definitely donāt fuck anyone like I fucked you. Are you happy? Seeing me miserable and pathetic? Are you enjoying it?ā
You canāt deny the satisfaction and relief you feel when you hear that. Dating post-him was a very bad experience overall, so him not upgrading, indeed, in any way, makes you feel victorious. At least, youāre both suffering.
āYeah, I actually enjoy that.ā
āWhat about you?ā He snaps. āDo you do all of that?ā
āI donāt want to be called daddy, James.ā
āYou know exactly what I meant! You call those losers daddy? You choke around their cocks? Do you beg for their small dicks to go deeper and finish yourself off after it?ā
āLike I begged for your small dick?ā You ask annoyed, knowing how dumb this lie is, but what else can you say? No one compares to him and never will.
His response shocks you as he reaches down to the zipper of his worn jeans and pulls it down.
āWhat the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?ā
āWanted to, you knowā¦ give you more mocking material in case you forgot how small it is.ā
You have to think twice about what to say because the first thought was: I have enough videos, thanks. But you canāt. You canāt expose yourself like that.
āJames, what the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me?ā
āWith my small dick?ā
You look away for a few seconds, not wanting him to read you. āWhy are you doing this? We divorced, youāre seeing someone, Iām good by myself... just let it go.ā
He smiles at that, and you realize you indirectly told him you are indeed not fucking anyone.
āWhy would I let go of my wife?ā
Youāre slapping his chest before you realize what youāre doing. āStop this, Bucky! Just fucking stop.ā
Heās hurting you, how can he not see that?
āYou said you divorced me for a reason. You said...ā he pauses. āYou ordered me to leave you alone. Well, what if I donāt want to?ā
āWhat are you, a fucking stalker?ā
āNo!ā He almost screams. āI am fucking in love with you, you infuriating woman!ā
āW-what?ā
He canāt be joking about this, can he? He is not cruel. He is not vile. This isnāt a game.
āIām in love with you. I love you. You own me... you fucking control me.ā
āHow?ā
He laughs hysterically, running his hands through his hair before pulling. āI am fucking obsessed with you: how you are, if youāre doing well, if you miss me, if youāre fucking someone else, if your date went great, if you regret being with me, if someone else makes you smile wider. I dream about you, I am so miserable I couldnāt be with anyone. With Mia it lasted a month. I wasnāt... I wasnāt okay. I am not okay.ā
You look at him, waiting for more. āGo on and zip your jeans, weāre in public.ā YouĀ watch him quickly do what you demand before you continue. āAnd what about Jessica tonight? Or Alexa a month ago? Why are you lying to me?ā
āItās not real. Jessica... I was just trying to make you jealous, okay? I was sneaking looks all night, have you not noticed at all?ā
You donāt smile, despite your huge instinct to. Instead, you cross your arms, watching him drop his gaze straight to your boobs.
āWhy would I notice, James?ā
āWell, how did you notice Jessica looking a little like you, that sheās with me here?ā
Fair point...
āJust...ā Youāre suddenly gripped by this crazy urge to just fuck him right here. You even regret telling him to zip back up. You could have just lifted your dress as he lowered his briefs and took out his cock. And just like that, you could have just fucked against the wall or something. You would have let him rip off your panties too. You just need his cock so badly! āShut the fuck up!ā You snap, grabbing him by his neck so he can lean in enough for you to be able to kiss him. And oh, you kiss him!
You donāt have to fight to dominate the kiss, surprisingly, because he lets you. He lets you bite his lip and almost draw blood, he lets you unzip his pants again and push down his unfit-for-a-wedding jacket, and most importantly, he lets you be his again, as pathetic as that might sound. You feel him emotionally, not just physically.
Without wasting more time, you drop to your knees, making sure only your dress and shoes touch the floor directly. You drag down his pants and briefs at the same time from your position, and he looks at you surprised.
āI thought weāre in public and you were fucking some-ā his words die as you bring your tongue to the head of his cock, tasting the precum, but not sucking even a little bit.
āWerenāt you saying something?ā You tuck your hair strands behind your ears as you mock him. You love being on your knees for Bucky. He has this dominant energy, but he always makes you feel in power even when he fuck your mouth. And you enjoy it, you feed on it. One of the reasons you missed him so much. And he can take mocking. āPlease go on. I am all ears.ā You breathe out on his dick. āAnd tongue.ā
āOh god,ā Buckyās voice is a moan at this point, and you laugh. So easy...
āIām your god now? Aww! Come on, do I have to do everything tonight?ā
He looks down at you confused. His blue eyes are almost grey, and you know heās on cloud nine already just because youāre there.
āWhat?ā
āOh, you need translation. Well,ā itās all you say before wrapping your lips around his dick and using both of your hands to push him as deep as he can go inside your mouth. He moans at the same time you gag, and his balls slap you in the face. He instinctively looks at you to ask if youāre okay, but you are more than okay. You are fucking alive. You encourage him to fuck your throat at this point by squeezing his ass cheeks and touching his balls.
āGod, look at you! That pretty black dressā¦ā He pulls out and back in not as forcefully as he can, but enough to make you start tearing up quickly. āOn your knees for you man. That mouth!ā
You find yourself moaning at the feel of his fingers grasping and tugging at your hair. Jesus, how you missed this...
āYou have the sweetest mouth.ā Does he even realize what heās mumbling? āI could die right here. Right now,ā he says and thrusts harder, which makes you close your eyes. You can barely see anything because of the tears, and heās already close. āMy pretty baby, my fucking girl.ā
Youāre getting wetter and wetter the more he talks, and itās crazy. Youāre cold and your jaw is hurting, yet you love this.
āNot caring if someone can catch us, just making sure you mark me again. God, I'm gonna come, baby. Gonna... should I p-pull-ā
You donāt let him finish his sentence as you grab his ass to make sure you keep him there, in your throat, as he comes while moaning your name.
When he finishes, he immediately helps you stand up, before he kisses you desperately, his tongue immediately licking your bottom lip to get access. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist tightly. You moan in the middle of the kiss because his semi-hard cock is right where you need it, and itās like torture...
āNeed to taste you, okay, baby?ā He asks with so much need in his voice. He sounds so whipped. āNeed my pussy. Can I take you to my room?ā
That is perfect, a dream at this point. But you need to make him a little more desperate.
āBut the weddingā¦ They would kill us.ā
āI am sure you care sooooo much about this wedding and Natās stories. More than about getting my tongue on that pretty clit of yours and making you come all over my face.ā
You canāt hold back your laughter.
āFair point, Mr. Barnes. I deserve my orgasms, especially after listening to you pathetically trying to seduce me by admitting how desperate you are.ā
āYou dropped to your knees on this balcony just to mark my cock as yours.ā
You pull his hair a little. āYou said it yourself, it's already mine. Now get that ugly jacket and carry me.ā
Bucky snorts, kissing your cheek. āYou bought me that ugly jacket.ā
āI know.ā
*
You donāt know where you left your phone and even though you should feel panicked, you donāt. All you can focus on is Bucky taking off your dress and groaning at the sight of your cups. You couldnāt wear a full bra, so you improvised. They could barely hold your breasts, but no nipples showing? Win.
āHurry up!ā
āJesus,ā he moans and reaches for your cups. Desperate man... you roll your eyes, but let him uncover your breasts and grab them into his hands eagerly. Heās not just holding them, he looks and touches them as if heās never seen boobs in his entire life, let alone yours.
āJames...ā You sigh, throwing your head back in pleasure when he finally gets your nipple into his mouth. Your hand finds his hair instantly, and you watch him suck happily while playing with your other nipple.
āYouāre quite hungry,ā you say with a smile, stroking his hair. You missed this so much. His need to always touch or sleep on your boobs, the way he grabs them while heās pounding you... You shiver in anticipation when he switches to the other tit.
āFucking shit, I missed them so much.ā
You snort. āMy boobs?ā
āMine.ā Heās not sucking anymore, heās eating them, shocking you.
āH-hold on a second, Bucky. Theyāre breasts, not my clit.ā
āItās been a year, love. Let me get my fill. I died without them. Died!ā
As much as you wanted to think only about the part he missed your boobs, you canāt help the jealousy that clouds your mind. You were divorced, yet the image of him sucking someone elseās tits makes you want to hit a wall. Mia all over him... You pull his hair angrily. āYou surely had other tits in your mouth, Bucky, for the past year. Donāt pretend this is any different.ā
He immediately stops sucking. āYou... you canāt believe this. Tell me you donāt believe this.ā
You look away, too proud to face him. āWhat am I supposed to believe, huh? Itās been one fucking year.ā
āIāve been yours this whole year. Iāve been thinking about you, fucking my fist while watching... our videos, as fucked up as it might be. I tried to date, but I failed, and trust me, it has nothing to do with the size of my dick and my age. No one is you. No one smells like you or talks like you. No one is my brat with the god complex.ā
āGod complex?ā You raise your eyebrow, keeping your face straight. āFuck you.ā
āI will fuck it out of you as I usually do, donāt worry.ā
āThen why does it keep coming back?ā
He chuckles. āBecause you want to get fucked all the goddamn time.ā
āLike you donāt!ā You puff. āCome on, I breathe in your direction and you get hard, Bucky.ā
āDid you see yourself? Did you have sex with yourself? You cannot judge me!ā He grabs your breasts again. āThere is no comparison, okay? You have no rival. Never did, never will.ā
āThatās all?ā You puff, amused. āMy looks?ā
āDo I even have to sayā¦ Your god complex exists for a fucking reason. Youāre the smartest, most sarcastic, and feistiest person Iāll ever meet. One mocking comment, and you know how I get.ā
āPathetic?ā You mock him on purpose just to get the reaction he is talking about. You love it when he compliments you.
āIs this why you divorced me? Cause I am a pathetic son of a bitch?ā
YouĀ take a deep breath. āI divorced you because you refused to communicate properly with me anymore, and you know it.ā
āSo not because of my small dick, either,ā he remarks, making you roll your eyes.
āNo, your small dick is one of the reasons I am here.ā
Bucky dramatically touches his heart. āSo youāre using me for my sex skills!ā
āAs if you donāt beg me to use you. Come on, put that mouth to good use before Nat comes after us.ā
He doesnāt disappoint as he finally rips your underwear off, just like you fantasized about, and you use this as the perfect opportunity to fish for more.
āWhat happened, Jamie? So eager. Arenāt you a little good-ā
The word boy comes out as a moan when you feel his index finger curled up inside you suddenly.
āWhat happened, honey? Too big for you?ā
āDick!ā
āYouāll get that. I just need to erase the memories of having little pencils in here. That must have been traumatic.ā
āYouāre such a jerk!ā You snort, but heās right. It was really bad.
Bucky shrugs, finally kneeling properly between your legs before lifting them on his shoulders. God, yes!
āGonna give my pussy some loving.ā
āD-didnāt know you have a pussy, James.ā
He smiles against your inner thigh. āI certainly keep what I lick.ā
āEww, what the fuck.ā
He snorts, kissing your slit. āI am joking, baby. Tried to imitate one of those dicks you thought you could replace me with.ā
Petty fucking bitch! You grab him by his hair and push him closer to your pussy.
āShut the fuck up and eat!ā
His tongue feels like heaven, indeed, on your clit. Youāve lost count of how many times you remembered him eating you out so you can come this year. He's just so good at eating your pussy.
You let out a satisfied sigh when he adds a second finger. You start to feel like beforeā¦ like you and Bucky are still married and with no problem. Like you're happy. He makes you so happy. Made.
So you stare at his hair and stroke it as he sucks on your clit, completely squashed between your thighs, and try to hold back your tears.
When he adds his third finger and starts tracing eight figures on your clit with his tongue before he flattens it, you know youāre about to come.
There is something about the way he always manages to make you vulnerable even if itās not intentional, to cut you open and get in... and you donāt want it to be over. You canāt let him go again after tonight. Youād suffocate.
Your efforts to delay your orgasm and not tear up are futile because when he sucks a little harder, you come and start sobbing somehow. The orgasm is strong and even though youād want to watch Bucky, you close your eyes, letting yourself go, and shut your mind down for a second. Everything feels so overwhelming. So amplifiedā¦
Youāre grateful he doesnāt stop fucking you with his fingers, either, even though you felt him hesitating when he heard you crying. You really needed this.
As soon as you finish, you drop your legs, furiously trying to wipe your face. He knows the difference between crying because of a crazy orgasm and you being emotional. He instantly gets back on the bed next to you and pulls you into the tightest hug youāve had in two years.
āGod, Iām...ā You donāt know how to continue this phrase. You should not feel sorry for crying and youāre not pathetic for it. āI m-missed you so much, Bucky. Why did you give up?ā
You feel his warm breath on your forehead. āI never gave up, baby, I swear.ā
āB-but you did. You didnāt even try for more than six months. When I told you...ā You take a deep breath. āThat I want a divorce, you didnāt even look at me. Once, Bucky! Not even onceā¦ā You show him your index finger. āYou simply agreed. You gave up on us. I was waiting for you to say: no, letās try. No, Iāll communicate. Your words...ā You sob. āYour words would have been enough for me. You should know that.ā
āOh my god, baby, please, breathe!ā He kisses your forehead over and over again. āI never gave up, I swear. I wanted to say no, I wanted to tell you all of that, but you asked me for divorce. It felt like you wanted out. You were tired of fighting... you were tired of me. And I didnāt want to tell you to stay just so you could either stay with me out of pity or reject me. I would have died... To look at you and beg, and to see you detached.ā
You shake your head into the crook of his neck. He cannot...
āHow would I be detached if I tried for six months? How would I get tired of you?ā
āExactly. You tried for six months. I thought you snapped out of it...ā
āOut of what?ā You whisper, scared to say it louder, but he hears you anyway.
āOut of love.ā
You immediately lift your head to look at him. Heās crying, too. āBucky...ā You bring your fingers to his cheeks and start to caress them.
āI just couldnāt remember us like this. I couldnāt look into your eyes and see you staring at me like Iām a stranger.ā
āJesus Christ, when did we fail to communicate this much?ā
He knows you donāt expect an actual answer, so instead of speaking, he holds you, and kisses you, and makes you giggle.
The more you move into his lap, the better you feel his erection pressing against your pussy. So close, yet so far.
He groans, placing his hands on your hips. āCareful.ā
āWell, I donāt want you to be careful. I want you to fuck me raw right now.ā
āRight now? He snorts, using his position to his advantage and moving. And just like that, youāre suddenly pressed with your back against the bed, and his mouth covers the valley between your breasts. That didnāt take a lot of convincing.
āDid you fuck anyone else without protection?ā You ask unsure how to formulate it without it sounding a little weird. Youāre not even sure you want to know the answer if itās positive, but still.
āNo. Only condoms and well... to be honest more my fist,ā he chuckles, helping you get on your back again by bringing a pillow under your head. āI tested myself, of course.ā
You nod, trying to hide your happiness. You selfishly wanted this: no one but you to feel him without any barrier.
āGood.ā
āWhat about you?ā
āNo one for me, either.ā
You would laugh at his proud face if you didnāt know he might use it to tease you later. You can use it too, though.
āCome on, baby, spread your legs for me. Daddyās home.ā
You laugh surprised, but you do what he says. You really missed having him between your legs.
Needy, you reach for his T-shirt, that for some reason is still on, and you tug it down, showing him you want it off.
He hesitates for a couple of seconds too long before grabbing his T-shirt by the neck.
āCome on, what did you do? Got a tattoo?ā
You get your answer as soon as heās finally naked.
āOh, God!ā You instantly lift your hand so you can grab his necklace. āWhat the fuck, James...ā
āI told you I never gave up on us.ā
āSo youāre telling me youāve been keeping it on since we divorced?ā
He blushes, looking away. āYeah.ā
āEven when you were with other girls?ā
Your heart is racing.
āNever took it off.ā
You giggle, touching the surface of the ring over and over again.
āNo wonder why nothing worked.ā
āI had no intention to make it work.ā
You say nothing, just looking into his eyes and letting him see how fucking much you love him, how he could never be a stranger, and you kiss him, wrapping your legs around his ass to show him what you need.
āI want you to pound me, okay? I want to feel you for days, do you hear me? I am so wet and ready. Please, just fuck me!ā
You shiver a little when you feel the back of his hand brushing against your clit while he brings his cock to your entrance.
āGonna make you mine again, alright? Gonna make you forget this year and everyone who,ā He finally thrusts inside you. āTried to get you.ā
Heās thick. Really thick, and you canāt believe how you managed to survive without this stretched-out feeling for a whole fucking year.
āI hate you so much!ā
He snorts. āI am pretty sure you love me. Otherwise, I wouldnāt have my cock inside you after one year.ā
āThis is the problem!ā You hiss when he pulls almost completely out. āOne year, Bucky!ā
āAww!ā He says a bit mockingly before thrusting all the way in again. Oh my God... you close your eyes. āIs this your bratty way of telling me you missed my small dick?ā
āBratty? You think this is bratty?ā You ask him sarcastically before bringing a hand to his ass. āHarder!ā
āHarder, huh?ā He quickly unwraps your legs and turns you on your belly before you can react.
You gasp, shocked by how fast he is and hating the emptiness, but he ignores it, bringing a pillow under your pussy.
āAss in the air, come on.ā
You comply immediately, staring at his face from the side. He looks like heās on a mission, with his hair already in all directions and the wedding band hanging around his neck.
The first thing you feel is his mouth on your ass cheek, licking on a spot before biting.
You hiss. āJames!ā It hurts, not more than a spanking, but you werenāt ready for that.
āMine.ā
You snort, wiggling your ass. āYeah, yeah. Now gimme my cock.ā
And he does. He so does, heās not slowly entering you, no. He pushes in almost fully with only one thrust, making you bite into your pillow.
āYou missed that, didnāt you? The way I fill you up is so good. The way...ā He slaps your ass. āNo one can make you feel so good. No one can fuck you like the desperate whore you are for my cock.ā
You moan loudly into the pillow. You love being called a whore like this. Because he is right and he is obsessed with it, anyway. āB-Bucky...ā
āTell me whose cock you love? Tell me.ā
Heās thrusting so fast at this point that you can barely even hear him.
āBucky.ā
āNo, no, no. That is not what you call me like this.ā
āJames...ā
He suddenly stops thrusting, and you whine, lifting your spinning head to look at him over your shoulder. No matter how much you try to tilt your hips to make him move, you fail.
āIf you want to get fucked, baby, you gotta call me the right-ā
āDaddy. Daddy, daddy. Happy now?ā
He rolls his eyes, obviously not that happy with your tone.
You smirk.
āI see you need a lot of battiness fucked out of you.ā
āThen why are you not fucking me, daddy?ā
āOh, goddamn it!ā Heās not holding back now, moving like he used to. āTell me, baby. Tell me you love me... that no one, fuck- no one is like me!ā
His voice tinges with a hint of neediness... maybe even urge. His vulnerability takes you a little aback because itās stronger than his mocking. Heās genuinely seeking for reassurance as he gazes at you with a mixture of desire, desperation and longing. Heās searching for validation in your eyes the way you were earlier, so you give it to him.
āYouāre the only one for me, J-James. I love you forever. I never... I n-never stopped!ā You canāt keep your head up a second longer as you drop it on your pillow, moaning.
āWeāre getting married tomorrow.ā
You half-snort, half-moan. āW-we canāt.ā
āWe can.ā The sound of his balls slapping against your pussy almost covers the sound of his voice.
āWe... we have to apply first.ā
He spanks your ass again, and you scream, the sudden pain making you feel so good.
āSo wet for me. They stood no chance. T-they donāt know how hard you want it.ā
āDaddy, please... Please!ā Youāre a moaning mess. You just need a little harder. Just a little.
Youāre not sure if youāre gonna have a voice after this. Heās pounding you so hard.
āMy good, good girl.ā Heās squeezing your hips, and the sound of your skin slapping is echoing. āGod, gonna come for me? Jesus, wanna fill you up with my come too. Please, baby.ā
You donāt know when or how he manages to do it, but he sneaks one of his hands under your body and pinches your nipple. You gasp, the wave of pleasure hitting you as he keeps fucking you. You feel your body weakening when he says your name over andl over again, but you donāt open your eyes for a while, letting him fuck you desperately while playing with your breast.
āGonna- fuck, take my come, wife! Take me!ā
Heās coming so much... surprisingly much even for him. You can feel him dripping down your thighs even when he slows down, then stops his movements before he falls on top of you as soon as he finishes.
āJames...ā You groan. āYouāre heavy.ā
He places a small kiss on your back, and you giggle.
āI love you.ā
You melt, but he moves to the side before you can reach for his cheeks.
āI love you, too.ā You kiss him. āSo much that I let you drag me out of my best friendās wedding reception.ā
Bucky snorts, brushing his nose against your face. āPretend all you want, I know you were bored as fuck.ā You feel him slowly pulling out of you, and you whine. Itās a little uncomfortable. āSorry, wifey.ā
āIām not your wife yet.ā
āYet, but you were and you will be again this week.ā He takes your ring finger into his mouth.
āBucky!ā
āWhat? We need new rings.ā
You try to pull out your finger. āNo, we donāt. I have mine.ā
āWe need...ā
āHow about we use all that money for a vacation instead?ā
āNeah, honeymoon is honeymoon.ā
He finally lets your finger go. āWe are not buying other wedding bands.ā
āI am not debating a new engagement ring, though.ā
You roll your eyes, but you know itās the best deal you can get.
āFine, a new engagement ring,ā you agree while rolling ro his side and placing your head on his chest. āI donāt wanna move.ā
āDonāt want to or canāt?ā
You decide to surprise him by biting a spot right above his nipple. He groans while you simply laugh.
āYou just canāt be subtle, can you?ā
āIf youād wanted subtle youād have gone for someone like Steve.ā
āEww, Bucky. I have your come dripping out of me and you bring up Steve?ā
āYou literally talked about Nat a sec ago.ā
Then, as if a switch was flipped, your eyes widen. āOh shit, my phone!ā
āWhere did you forget it?ā Bucky asks casually, so used to gathering your things for you. You really missed that, too.
āTable. God... Do you think they know?ā
āKnow what?ā He giggles, raising both of you until your backs touch the headboard. āThat you dropped on your knees in the middle of the wedding to suck my cock? Or how I fucked you raw until you cried.ā A sudden realization crosses his face. āYou asked me to fuck you raw. Are you... still on the pills?ā
You roll your eyes. āYou think Iād let you fuck me like this for the first time we talked to each other properly since we divorced if there was a big chance to get pregnant?ā
āI assume you are still on the pills, donāt be patronizing!ā He kisses your nose, which he knows tickles you.
Ass...
āYou are asking a dumb question instead of getting your ass downstairs to bring me my phone.ā
āHow is that dumb? I wanted to know if I should get you a pill or something.ā
āSo you donāt want babies with me!ā You try not to laugh as you say it, biting your lip to keep your face serious.
āWhy do you act as if I told you I donāt want a baby with you?ā He chuckles when he sees you pouting. āWeāre just getting back together and no way youād want a baby now. But if I am wrong, letās go for it. I can give you a baby, just get off the pills.ā
āYou donāt give me a baby, James. We have a baby together!ā
He sighs, getting off the bed to get his clothes back on. āObviously, but I am the one coming inside you. This is what I meant. I am all in. But we need some adapting time at least.ā
You should stop this whole teasing-testing thing. You both have the same opinion after all. You might have a baby, and you know heād be involved one hundred percent, but not now. Absolutely not.
āI know. Thanks for asking.ā
āYouāre such a tease.ā He snorts, putting on his pants. āBefore I go, do you want me to run you a bath or should I bring you a towel?ā
āDo you plan on staying there?ā
He turns his head to you instantly. āYeah, sure. I am gonna eat some steak and brag about fucking my wife.ā
āAlright, alright. Bring me a snack and we can take a bath together. Actually,ā you think about it better. āIām gonna clean up and wait for you.ā
āYou want me to fuck you again, donāt you?ā He asks as he fixes his jacket.
āWhy? Is this all you could give me?ā
āOh, fuck you!ā
āSure.ā You spread your legs at the same time you grab your own breasts, making him groan. Itās so easy to get to him. And itās hilarious.
āJesus, youāre planning to kill me.ā
āNot you acting as if itās the first time this happened.ā
āIt is the first time in over a year, baby.ā
You feel yourself softening again. āTrue. Now, please, please, please, donāt give them any details and bring me a snack.ā
āWhat snack?ā
āAnything, make me a plate, I donāt care.ā He nods before reaching for the keys. āOh, and Bucky? Tell your flavor of the month you donāt need her anymore.ā
āI told you she is not-ā
āAnd tell Nat Iāll make it up to her!ā You interrupt him before he can finish his sentence. You donāt need him to defend a random girlās honor.
āYouāre so jealous.ā
āLock the door!ā
You giggle satisfied when he closes the door and let yourself scream out of happiness while staring at the bite he left on your ring finger. Mrs. Barnes never got out of style.
Pretty Little Thing - co-written with @notafunkiller
Summary: Your long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, is a regular at the bar where you work, and tonight, it's impossible to avoid serving him for the first time.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: +18, alcohol, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count:Ā 3.8K
A/N: @notafunkiller and I merged our separate ideas into one and this is the outcome. It was so much fun to write. We hope it'll me the same while reading too.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Donāt hesitate to message us. Unless itās hate. Thatās never welcome.
You thought this night would be calm and easy, that nothing significant would happen. All that changed when Bucky Barnes set foot in the bar. Itās not his first time here by any means, but until now you successfully managed to avoid him by asking the other bartender to serve his side. This time, unfortunately, you are working alone. Itās a slow night, so thereās no way you can really avoid him.
You watch him find an empty place and sit down, and you really donāt know what to do. You can feel yourself sweating already. You are so nervous. Not because you are afraid of him or anything. He doesnāt look scary. Not to you. You are afraid to embarrass yourself in front of him, but you should be able to ask for his order and serve it without messing it up. Thatās not so hard.Ā
Just keep it simple, you tell yourself.
āHey, what can I get you?ā
Bucky looks up from his phone straight into your eyes, and you freeze a little.
āHello, do you... a draft beer, please.ā
His answer confuses you. Thatās not his usual order.Ā
āYou sure you donāt want something stronger? We have that bourbon.ā You curse yourself internally for paying attention and not being able to hold your tongue.
He raises his eyebrow surprised. āHow do you know that? There is no way you served me any drinks cause I would remember you.ā
He frowns as soon as he finishes speaking. Maybe you helped your colleague or maybe you were informed about what he drinks just in case he showed up. Heās still the Winter Soldier after all.
āI never served you before.ā You say with a shy smile. You hope this is enough of an answer for him.
āDo I look like a bourbon man?ā He asks playfully before giving you a smile that transforms his face a little, softening his features.Ā
āYou look like you enjoy quality stuff, and between you and me, our draft beer is shitty.ā
That comment makes him chuckle. Youāre so distracted by his face that you donāt notice how his eyes fall straight to your breasts.
āThanks for the tip. Normal beer then?ā
āIf you insist.ā You smile and open the small fridge under the bar where you keep some of the beers. You quickly open it and put it right in front of him, not realizing that gesture shows off your bartender skills a little bit.
He doesnāt look away from you as he takes a big sip before placing the bottle on the table quickly.
āFor how long have you been working here?ā
āFor the past year.ā You avoid making eye contact while drying some of the freshly washed glasses.
āOh.ā He sounds kind of taken aback. āIām surprised you never served me. Iāve been coming here for what? Seven months?ā
āEight.ā You bite your bottom lip as soon as the word slips out, trying to shut yourself up so you wonāt mess up even more. What were you thinking? Well, you weren'tā¦
His eyes immediately glow, and you wonder if you fucked up for good.
āSo youāve been keeping an eye on me?ā He brings the bottle to his mouth and before you can say anything, you watch him finishing it in one go.
āI just noticed you.ā Of course, you kept an eye on him, but you played it down a little.
āWell, I didnāt notice you,ā he says regretfully. āAnd I wonder how. I am pretty aware of my surroundings... especially if they are full of beautiful people like you.ā
You canāt help but blush, yet you try to sound unaffected. You donāt know if you succeed or not, though.
āThis place is usually so crowded and full ofā¦ people. So itās normal.ā
āNeah,ā he denies immediately. āHave you been hiding or something?ā
āI was just on the other side of the bar.ā And you were trying to hide from him, saving yourself from this embarrassment because you knew if you talked to him you would fuck up. You were right.
āSo I was on the wrong side this whole time.ā He shakes his head. āAnother beer, please, doll.ā
āThe same?ā You ask while trying not to dwell on the pet name he uses.
āYes, please. And one drink for you. Whatever you want, if you are allowed to drink, of course.ā
The way he offers to buy you a drink surprises you. You feel quite nervous, but you try to maintain your calm. Heās probably just being nice, right?Ā
āI am allowed to drink, but thatās not necessary.ā
He pouts. āI didnāt mean you need to talk to me for it, doll. There are no conditions for this drink.ā
āOh.ā You didnāt even think he would take it this way. āThatās not why I said itās not necessary. I wasnāt worried about that.ā
āOkay. Whatever you want... I wonāt insist.ā
āItās justā¦ I am allowed to drink whatever I want. You donāt need to pay for it.ā You try to explain so he wonāt take it the wrong way.
āAlright,ā he says, a little distant, as you open up another bottle of beer and put it in front of him.Ā
āI just didnāt want you to pay extra when I can get it for free.ā You donāt know why you are explaining yourself like this. Itās normal not to accept drinks from customers.
āItās fine, I totally understand. Thank you!ā He reaches for the bottle immediately.
You take a fancy glass out of the rack and pour yourself one of the ready-to-serve cocktails that your colleague prepared, right in front of him. He doesnāt say anything as he keeps staring at your hands.
āThanks for the drink.ā You say while putting the bottle away.
āMe?ā He asks surprised. āThought this is on the bar.ā
āWell, you gave me the idea, and if you really insist on spending your money so unnecessarily, who am I to stop you?ā
āThatās a good attitude.ā He smiles again before bringing his bottle close to your glass. āCheers to a good Thursday in a lovely company.ā
You clink your glass with a smile on your face. It seems like he finally understood your intention, so you feel relieved.Ā
āHow does that taste?ā
āDonāt let the color fool you, it tastes really strong but delicious.ā You look at him for a second and notice that got his interest. āWanna taste it?ā You offer your own drink to him, and he contemplates for a few seconds before leaning in.
āYes, I am curious.ā
You hand the glass to him. Your fingers touch for a second, and you get so excited that you worry about dropping the glass. Itās like your heart is in your throat.
āYour hands are cold,ā he comments casually before taking a sip right from the spot covered by your lipstick. You gasp. You have no idea if he did it on purpose, but the way heās drinking itā¦ your body is responding to that so much. You clear your throat, trying to calm yourself down.Ā
āDelicious.ā He smiles, handing back your glass, and you notice a bit of lipstick in the corner of his mouth.
It creates this internal dilemma. Should you just let him know about it or act like nothing happened and let him walk around like this? The second one could cause him a lot of embarrassment, and you donāt wanna be the reason for that. Thatās why you suddenly find yourself leaning closer to him, just to wipe the lipstick off. He doesnāt move an inch, not jumping like you would expect, letting you touch him. When you realize what you are doing, you suddenly feel super self-conscious.Ā
āYouā¦ā You gulp down. āYou haveā¦ lipstick onā¦ just here.āĀ
You keep rubbing your finger against the corner of his mouth. You feel his stubble and how soft his lips are, but you try not to think about it. He chuckles, covering your hand with his. It surprises you so much that you freeze for a second. Then you look into his eyes, struggling to see if you made him feel uncomfortable or not.
āSo considerate of you. Thank you.ā
You move your hand away from his mouth but not away from his touch. Somehow you canāt find the strength to do that.Ā
What he does next, though, makes you completely breathless. He brings your hand to his mouth again, but this time he presses his lips gently against your skin, smiling right after. Your eyes open with surprise, feeling completely speechless, yet you donāt move away. You donāt even realize you are smiling slightly.
āYour hands are still so cold.ā
āYeahā¦ā You try to speak, but it feels like your words are stuck in your throat. āThey are always cold.ā
āWe need to change that.ā He places another kiss on your hand.
*
Heās surprisingly nervous as he leads you to the living room. Based on his confidence back in the bar, you didnāt expect him to become so shy all of a sudden.
āDo you want some coffee?ā
āNo.ā You answer quickly. The only thing you want is to feel his lips again but you keep that thought to yourself.
āWhat do you want then?āĀ
Itās obvious in his tone and the way he looks at you he doesnāt ask you about drinks.
āYou.ā You canāt believe you said this out loud, but itās the truth.
He doesnāt need another push as he comes closer, grabbing you by the chin. Your lips crash together with an almost desperate hunger. He takes the opportunity immediately, getting his tongue inside your mouth in a fervent exploration. The sensation is electrifying.
You let him explore your mouth while you focus on his taste. Itās so unique and tasty, you just canāt get enough of it. Your hands slowly move toward the back of his head, pulling him closer.
āFuck,ā he groans when he feels your touch, breaking the kiss just to move his lips to your neck.Ā
āMhmmā¦ James.ā His lips feel so good against your neck. It just sends a jolt of arousal through your body.
But then he freezes, with his mouth glued to your neck. You open your eyes confused wanting to ask him what happened, and thatās when you realize what youāve just said.
āYou know who I am?ā His voice is a warm whisper against your skin.
āOf course, I know who you are.ā You make it sound so natural as if thereās no way you wouldnāt know who he is. āYou think I go to the houses of men I donāt know?ā You say playfully.
āI didnāt mean that...ā He raises his head from the crook of your neck just to look you in the eye. āI didnāt mean it offensively, I just wasnāt sure. Iām just stupid, I didnāt expect it.ā
āI know who you are, James Bucky Barnes.ā
āFuck,ā he groans, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip. āSay it again.ā
āJames Bucky Barnes or just James?ā
He kisses you more desperately than before, his hands finding your hips as he gently grabs them, pulling you so close that you can feel his erection. You gasp so softly, but he hears it anyway, and you settle on his hard cock so itās right against where you want it to be.
He moans. āLetās go to the bedroom, doll.ā
āWhy?ā You ask innocently as if you donāt know what he means. āIsnāt your couch comfortable enough?ā
For him? Sure. But for you?
āThe bed is better.ā
āOkay.ā You sound so obedient suddenly as you wrap your legs around his torso.
He immediately lifts you up without effort, and you smile, letting him carry you toward his room. Heās a super soldier after all. He closes the door with his foot as soon as youāre inside, then he gently puts you on the bed, like heās afraid you might break. The way heās acting is so endearing, but you want him to let go really badly. Even the manner he starts to take off your pants is too gentle.
You let him undress you the way he wants, though. Then you move closer to him, taking his clothes off, your movements not as gentle as his. You are impatient and needy. You see him holding his breath when you reach to touch his chest, close to where his metal arm begins, so you lean in to leave a kiss right there. You donāt know if you are crossing a line, but you have to. He should know that this is not something that would bother you, on the contrary, it turns you on even more. When he doesnāt move away from you, you keep kissing around his scars and his chest. Your hand is on his shoulder, gently caressing.
Ā āThat feels so good, doll,ā he says with a sigh before he grabs your waist. ābut it's time for me to eat.ā
You find yourself on your back so suddenly that you donāt even have time to react. He quickly settles between your legs and you understand exactly what he meant. He lifts them enough so you can rest them on his shoulders as he gets more comfortable on his tummy. You feel a hole in your stomach immediately. You canāt believe Bucky is between your thighs, about to eat you out.
Heās taking his sweet time at first, kissing down your thighs and even smelling you before he finally brings his tongue to your entrance.
āCome on, James. Donāt tease me.ā You look down just to see him smiling.
āWhy not? You seem to enjoy it.ā
āI would enjoy it more if you stopped teasing and started eating.ā
Surprisingly, Bucky doesnāt waste more time and properly starts to fuck you with his tongue. Heās not too quick, nor too slow with his moves, and youāre shocked when he brings his fingers to your mouth.Ā
āNeed you to make them wet for me, please.ā Even while saying that, he sounded a little too polite.
āOn one condition,ā you say, looking directly into his eyes. āStop acting like I am made of glass.ā
āBut you kinda are.ā
āI am not. Believe me.ā
He says nothing, making sure to lick your slit before getting his tongue inside you again, his fingers, glued to your lips. You take it as a silent agreement and you open your mouth, suck his fingers, and let him wet them. When he thinks itās enough, he gently takes them out and brings them right to your clit. He doesnāt touch it directly at first, teasing around it until you move your hips a little, needing to feel your clit stimulated.
āPlease.ā The way heās taking his sweet time is so frustrating.
He lets his hand drop and instead of feeling his fingers on your clit, you feel his tongue at the same time he gets a finger inside you. You moan loudly, finally getting what you wanted from the start.
His other hand reaches for yours when he hears you grabbing the sheet, and you immediately hold it, enjoying how his cold metal feels. When you feel the second finger and he scissors both of them inside you, youāre shocked by how close you suddenly are. You canāt help but arch your back and move your hips, needing it faster.
He reads the signals pretty quickly and lets you use his mouth while he keeps pumping his fingers. It doesnāt take long for you to gasp, moan, and start to shake because of the pleasure heās giving you.Ā
āJames! Shit. Iām- gonnaā¦ ahhā¦ come.ā
You moan louder than you expected, dropping your head against his sheets, possessed by a great wave of pleasure. You want to tell him not to stop anything, but you canāt. And you donāt need to as he keeps licking and fingering you while you ride your orgasm out, prolonging it as much as possible.
When itās done, you are feeling so good yet you are hungry for more. You raise your head a little and see Bucky still between your legs, but this time his beard is covered with your slick. He looks so handsome. His blue eyes are shining and his hair is all messy. It makes you wanna kiss him and thatās exactly what you do. You reach down to him, and he meets you in the middle, kissing you the way he was just eating you out: with passion and hunger.
Heās less gentle than before as you feel his hands grabbing your breasts, but itās still not enough. You cover his hands with yours and push him to grab them harder than before. You let out a muffled moan while kissing him.
āYouāre so fucking beautiful.ā
You find yourself blushing like you two arenāt having sex. To mask your reaction, you reach out to his hard cock, gently grabbing it.
āOh god,ā he groans as he instinctively squeeze your breasts harder.
āMhmm, yes.ā You lean into his touch. āJust like that.ā
Bucky looks at you as if you said something shocking. Is he not used to communicating during sex?
āWhat? Did I do something wrong?ā
āYouāre surprising me for someone so delicate.ā
āI told you, I am not.ā
He smiles. āDo you wanna help me put on a condom then?ā
āI would love to, butā¦ā You smile. āWhat if I told you I am clean and on the pill?ā
āFuck, I need you.ā He kisses you suddenly. āNow.ā
āI am right here.ā It sounds so calming. āYou can take me however you want.ā
Youāre not only on your back in the next second, but you also have his cock lined up at your entrance.
āJesus, doll! For a pretty little thing, youāre quite nasty.ā
āI just know what I want.ā And this is it.
He nods, wrapping your legs around his ass at the same time he pushes inside you. In a second, your head is thrown back while you moan loudly. The way he fills you is so delicious. It makes you feel so full but not uncomfortable.
āYouāre taking me so well already.ā
āPleaseā¦ā You raise your hips to create more friction. āPlease, move.ā
He brings his mouth to your breast a little before he starts thrusting, making sure to leave a small hickey right on top of it. It hurts so good, and you moan without holding back. It is music to Buckyās ears. He just wants to hear it again, so he does it again.
āYou want it rough, donāt you?ā He thrusts harder than before. āYouāre so needy.ā
āYeah.ā Your voice is so shaky already. āI told you already.ā
āTold me what?ā He teases. āI donāt remember.ā
āThat I am not made of glass.ā
āNo, you are made for me.ā He brings his hand to your face to move the hair strands that cover your eyes. āFor my cock.ā
āIn that caseā¦ā You donāt know where the sudden rush of confidence comes from. āYou are made for me. To fill me up.ā You move your hips again, trying to fuck yourself on him.
āOh, god. Youāre so fucking wet,ā he moans. āI am, Iām gonna fill you up so much.ā He kisses you suddenly, your teeth almost crashing together because of the thrusts, but you donāt care.
āCanāt wait.ā You tease him. āDonāt hold back, okay?ā
He says nothing, letting his head drop a little so he can suck on your neck properly. Heās definitely fucking you harder. He pulls until heās almost completely out of you before thrusting inside you again. And again. And again. It takes your breath away. The way it makes you feel is indescribable. You lose the little remaining control you had and just turn into a moaning mess.Ā
āSay my name, baby. C-come on.ā
āJames?ā You sound hesitant even if you donāt mean to because you donāt know which name he wants to hear.
āAgain,ā he begs, his metal arm on your leg pushing it right against his ass.
āJames!ā This one comes out so naturally. No questions, no hesitation. You just breathe out his name with a moan.
āGod, you look so beautiful. So pretty with my cock inside you.ā His thrusts get faster, and you have no idea how he can speak so well while youāre a mess.
āIām so close,ā you can barely say without taking a breath in the middle of the sentence.
āWhat do you want?ā
āJustā¦ harder.ā
āLike this?ā He asks, suddenly thrusting a little harder than before. āOr like this?ā
āThis! Yes! Just like this!ā
āYou just want it hard.ā He whispers against your ear. āWhat a dirty girl.ā
You hear him, but you canāt respond. You are too busy coming all over his cock, and it feels like you are in heaven. He continues to fuck you as the pleasure fades away, murmuring how pretty you are and how good you make him feel before he comes, too, grabbing the bedpost behind you with his metal arm. It makes a clicking sound, but you donāt care, opening your still foggy eyes just to watch him.
Thereās so much come. You can already feel it dripping out of you as he keeps fucking you. You expect it to end soon, but it doesnāt. It goes on and on. The way he loses control as he comes just triggers another orgasm out of you. You would be surprised how quickly you could come again if it didnāt feel overwhelmingly good. You canāt think about anything other than him and the way he makes you feel.
His come is getting all over your thighs and ass, and the bed, as he moans. āKakaya khoroshaya devochka.ā What a good girl.
You canāt help but laugh despite not understanding a word of what he says. āIs that Russian?ā
He opens his eyes, and the blue you love is almost completely grey. āYes.ā He sounds confused, too.Ā
āWhat does it mean?ā Your afterglow canāt overshadow your curiosity. āIf you donāt tell me, this isnāt happening again.ā You try to make it obvious you arenāt serious with your playful tone. Especially not after those orgasms.
āLook at you, little and feisty, blackmailing me.ā He chuckles before leaving a kiss on your lips. āI told you what a good girl you are. I didnāt realize I spoke in Russian.ā
You laugh a little. āSay it again.ā You give him the cutest look. āPlease?ā
āTy moya khoroshaya devochka.ā He repeats softly. Youāre my good girl.
You donāt even realize how content you look as you keep smiling.
āNow, I can get used to that.ā
āSay my name again, please.ā
You love the neediness in his voice. āJames?ā You tilt your head a little. āOr would you prefer Bucky?ā
āFuck, it doesnāt matter.ā His thumb is suddenly on your lips. āI can get used to that, too.ā
Summary: When Sam's girlfriend calls you clingy,Ā you decide to give Bucky some space. What you donāt know is that he doesnāt want any space. None at all.
Pairing:Ā tfatws!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings: 18+, angst, teasing, language, pet names, spanking, daddy kink, metal arm kink, no mention of y/n
Word Count:Ā 2.2K
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N:Ā I want to thank @marvelouslizzie for her help!
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
āOh, youāre alone?ā
You turn your head in the direction of the voice and smile politely. You donāt recognize this woman, but she looks at you like she does.
āUh, yes. Hello!ā
āYou donāt remember me, do you?ā
You instantly blush, ashamed, and search for Buckyās face in the crowd. Nowhere to be found. Damn it!
āNo, Iām sorry.ā
āItās okay,ā she says before coming next to you. āIām Misty.ā Brunette, tall and beautiful.
āWhere did we meet?ā
āSamās birthday, but Iām not surprised you donāt remember me. You were too busy clinging to Buckyās side all night.ā She sounds serious, and you freeze, having no idea where this came from. She simply laughs, grabbing your arm with some kind of bionic cold hand for a second before letting it go.
Itās not like Buckyās. Itās more... robotic.
āClinging?ā You ask confused.
āYeah, you know, always sitting with him, holding his arm, following him around.ā
You puff, already annoyed by this random woman. āFollowing him around? Iām not a dog!ā
āDidnāt say you are a dog, honey. Just pointing out the obvious.ā
You try to hold your tongue, pushing aside the impulse to start a fight. This is a night about Bucky. Not you or your discomfort. And she is his ex-co-worker-friendās girlfriend. Your anger can wait.
āAlright, but how does my clinging affect you, though?ā
āOh, donāt take it so personally! I just meant to be friendly. Itās a girlās advice. Let me free, live a little. Being insecure is not gonna save your relationship.ā
A piece of advice no one asked for. A take you never even considered. Youāre not insecure and youāre definitely not keeping Bucky to your side all the time. You donātā¦ He is free to do whatever the hell he wants.
āThank you.ā
She has the audacity to laugh. āDonāt be so defensive, honey! Gonna get a cocktail, want some?ā
You shake your head, feeling a hole in your stomach after she leaves you alone, and you basically run to the bathroom, trying to calm down. What if she is right, though? What if Sam heard or saw something? Maybe Bucky is extra grumpy or unhappy. Maybe he even complainedā¦
You never thought sitting with Bucky is a sign of clinginess. You thought itād help... he is not the most comfortable person at events. He gets stared at a lot, he hates small talk, and you really like being close to him. Gosh, you are clingy!
The rest of the night passes like a blur. When you come back, Buckyās waiting for you, and despite your instinct to wrap your arm around his back and let him hold you, you keep a little distance, giving Sam and his nosy girlfriend a fake smile, while Bucky keeps staring at you strangely.
You even manage to avoid touching him all week somehow, except for a few kisses now and then. Your period came, and as he tried to hold you, you had to fight tears while telling him not to. Youāre sick and tired and you miss him, but you want to give him some space. Youāve been suffocating him for so long... You make sure to cry only when heās out because he might hear you even in the shower. He has super hearing after all.
You thought it would become easier every day, but quite the opposite. Every time youāre close to giving up, you remember Samās comment that he made a week after you met him about how Bucky always likes his space and what Misty told you, so you fight against your wish.
Until Sunday afternoon.
Youāre in bed, scrolling down on Instagram as Bucky comes out of the shower. You try not to stare at him, but how can you not? He looks absolutely incredible.
What you donāt expect is him trying to get on top of you to tickle you with a huge smile on his face. Heās so adorable.
āB-Bucky, stop!ā You laugh as his hands get under your T-shirt. He loves making you laugh no matter how he does it. āN-no.ā
āOh, I will,ā he says playfully.
But what he failed to tell you is that stopping means sneaking his head under your T-shirt, which starts to rip a little because of the stretch, and resting it on your boobs.
āBucky!ā
He puffs, annoyed. āWhy the fuck are you wearing a bra in the house, bubba?ā
āCause itās a bra?ā You ask back sarcastically, but you know this is weird. You always complain about needing to wear it outside. But inside? Itās even worse.
āUnacceptable.ā He quickly rips your bra in half, not bothering to unhook it, and you feel his beard on your breast all of a sudden, making you shiver. Fuck, you really miss this.
āB-Bucky, come on, your hair is a little wet!ā
āBubba, please...ā
āBucky! Why did you do that?ā He immediately takes his head out of your T-shirt, and you almost cry. He looks do lost and scared.
āBaby, do you not want me anymore?ā
āWhat the fuck?ā You groan. This is the last thing you wanted him to think. All you tried to do was to make him happy and feel less pressured.
āYou donāt let me touch you. You donāt want to cuddle with me. You donāt wake me up with kisses. You donāt get on top of me You donāt hug me! What did I do?ā
Your heart aches for both of you. āWasnāt that better?ā
āBetter for who?ā He cries. āThis was the worst week of my life since Hydra.ā
āUnfortunately, that cannot be true, Bucky.ā You sigh, getting closer to him. āI thought you like space...ā
āI do, but not with my fucking baby!ā
You melt at his words, truth be told. He said it so passionately, but youāre so confused.
āI thought I was being too clingy, touching you too much, you know?ā
āWhat? Where did this come from?ā
You close your eyes. How are you supposed to answer this without sounding like a petty bitch?
āDoes it matter?ā
āOf course it does!ā You feel his hands grabbing your face so you can look at him. āIt means I did something wrong.ā
You frown, upset that he thinks that. Heās been nothing but kind, understanding, and loving to you, and you hate how he feels like he failed you or something.
āSamās girlfriend told me I am clingy... always with you, never leaving you alone to breathe basically. And it reminded me of Sam saying how much you love your space, and I just...ā You try not to cry, you really do, but you cannot hold back the tears this time, which Bucky immediately reaches to wipe with his flesh fingers.
āJesus, baby! I donāt give a goddamn shit about what they say, you arenāt allowed to listen to anyone! Just let me touch you.ā
You immediately wrap your arms around his neck, and Bucky lifts you a bit so you can sit on his lap. You can hear his heartbeat, and you find that so peaceful.
āI thought youāre gonna break up with me, honey.ā He whispers in your ear. āI was terrified when you didnāt let me cuddle with you.ā
āIām so fucking sorry, baby.ā You donāt know what else to say. You hurt both of you for days just because you let some woman get inside your head, but you had good intentions. āI just didnāt want to be a burden.ā
āI should be the one saying that, not you, bubba.ā He leaves a kiss on your shoulder. āGod, I missed you so much, it feels surreal to touch you.ā
āI love you, Iām sorry.ā
āPromise to never do this shit ever again!ā
āIāll try,ā you murmur. āI didnāt realize you want me to touch you so much.ā
Bucky lifts your head. āYou know I have to punish you for that, right?ā
āPunish me?ā You ask surprised.
āYeah, for believing some stranger over your man. For pulling away and giving me a heart attack. And for depriving yourself of my cuddling skills.ā
You giggle. āWhat if I let you suck my nipples for a whole week anytime you wanted?ā
āI already do that!ā Bucky lifts your T-shirt as he speaks, and you gasp.
āYou do not!ā
āYes, I do. Remember when I came home from the last mission and I made you come by-ā He lowers his head and licks your right breast, avoiding your nipple.
āFuck you, tease!ā
āI am the tease?!ā He snorts, continuing to lick.
āYouāre always the tease. Now kiss me and gimmie your cock.ā
āI wonāt give you anything until I punish you.ā
āJamie!ā You scream when he turns your around, ripping off your shorts in half, along with your underwear before placing you on his thighs. āWhat the fuck?ā
āWhat the fuck to you for keeping yourself away from me.ā You feel him caressing your ass for a few seconds before slapping your right cheek with his flesh hand. You squirm, gripping into his hip.
āF-fuck!ā
āCount.ā
You groan. āJamie...ā He spanks you again but harder, and this time you moan. āT-two.ā
āNope, we start over.ā
āO-one.ā
āGood girl!ā
The third and fourth arenāt as hard as you want and you find yourself wiggling your ass in the air.
āHarder.ā
āHarder?ā He snorts, amused, and before he can bring his flesh hand in the air, you grab his metal arm.
āPlease, daddy, use this one!ā
Daddy? It didnāt take too long for you to get back in the mood.
āCanāt use it, baby, Iām sorry.ā
āNo!ā You cry. āI need it, pleaseee. Iāll ride your face as many times as you w-want.ā
Bucky still doesnāt agree. āBaby, it would hurt.ā
āLet it hurt!ā
You want it to hurt because this pain is not unbearable, quite the opposite. It pushes you over the edge faster.
He sighs and listens to you, bringing his metal hand to your ass, but you barely even feel it when he slaps. You groan, upset.
āI said slap! Do you want me to hover?ā
āI can fucking hurt you.ā
āI told you to hurt me!ā You beg. āPlease, honey! Please, please, please.ā
He does it again, not hard enough for you, but you count anyway. Again and again.
āJesus, youāre making my thighs so wet. Youāre such a little whore for me.ā
āIām your whore. Always, daddy, please!ā
Buckyās moan comes somehow from the back of his throat, and the last spanks are perfect. He gently caresses your ass, cooling it off with his metal hand, and you smile. āYouāre so dirty sometimes, but also such a good girl taking your punishment perfectly.ā
āI am sorry,ā you whisper.
āFor what exactly?ā
You pout, grabbing his face. āFor all of it. But youāre you, Bucky. Youāre the greatest guy in the world, I just didnāt want to be annoying.ā
āYou were annoying when you didnāt let me even hug you.ā
You know that, but sometimes you canāt help but do dumb things, thinking about him. āI wanted you to be happy.ā
āWell, I wasnāt happy, obviously. And neither were you, bubba. Promise me youāll talk to me first next time.ā
āI was just stupidā¦ā
āNo.ā You feel his thumb all over your lips. āYou were worried. I love you and I really need your touch, okay?ā
āI noticed,ā you laugh.
āGood, now feed me my boobs, and then I wanna see you riding my face as you negotiated.ā
You fake sigh and grab your boob. āOpen up.ā
*
Youāre not sure how to react when Bucky drags you straight to Sam and his girlfriend as soon as you get inside the museum.
āHey, Buck-ā
āWho do you think you are?ā
Misty gasps while Sam and you freeze.
āWow, wow, wow, man. Hold on a sec, what is going on?ā
āWhat is going on, Samuel?ā Bucky asks rhetorically through his teeth. āAsk your little girlfriend where she got her audacity from to tell my girl she is clingy. That she basically spends too much time with me. Who the fuck gave her the permission to even speak to her? So she either apologizes and keeps her mouth shut, or weāll have a big problem.ā Bucky turns his head to look at Misty. āFrom one metal arm to another. Wanna try me?ā
āYou did what? What the hell?ā
Misty frowns, staring at you. āYou went to complain to him for giving you a friendly, harmless advice?ā
Bucky instantly grabs her metal arm wrist before you can answer.
āYou got three seconds to beg for her forgiveness before I snap your hand in half. And I am not bluffing.ā
Sam doesnāt even try to get between them, simply watching, and Misty immediately gets teary.
āIām... sorry.ā
Bucky shakes his head, squeezing her wrist. Holy shit! You havenāt seen him like this in ages. āDidnāt hear you.ā
āI am sorry. I should have minded my own business!ā
āYes, you shouldāve,ā you say without regret. āBut I forgive you.ā
Bucky lets go with a grunt before nodding to Sam and bringing his hand to your hips, leading you toward the exit.
As soon as you are outside, you donāt even care if someone can hear you as you speak. āFuck, I wanna suck your cock so badly!ā
Bucky laughs. āI see. In the carā¦ is that okay for you?ā
You get on your tiptoes to kiss him. āPerfect.ā
summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you donāt know what to do.
pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.
word count: 2.3K
A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.
This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.
>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.
Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ā¤ļø
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.
>> Hey! I know you donāt want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.
Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really donāt want to hear his voice. Not because you donāt like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?
You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. Itās not particularly Buckyās style. He sounds like heās in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.
He talks about how much he regrets the things he didnāt do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but heās afraid that you wonāt pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.
The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifullyā¦ You canāt believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and itās not even his style. Heās a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze.Ā
āYou are the love of my love.ā
Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and itās hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. Thatās when you notice the name of the song. Itās the Love of My Life.
Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didnāt matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didnāt matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.
Thatās when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didnāt care enough. He didnāt put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you werenāt just beating a dead horse.
You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. Thatās when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world.Ā
What a fucking asshole!
It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.
You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. Itās one of the nicknames he used often for you.Ā
He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he canāt help but imagine you in that guyās arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though heās not in your life anymore.
There are so many details throughout the song that indicate heās talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.
Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreakā¦ He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.
Selfish bastard!
He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if thatās what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.
The problem is, itās just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didnāt even think about calling someone else baby. You didnāt feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!
You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look.Ā
Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didnāt care if it would hurt him. Because he didnāt care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who donāt care who they are hurting. You didnāt get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.
Then it finally hits you. Heās talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.
You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. Thatās why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you.Ā
You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You canāt help but laugh. Heās so predictable. He just couldnāt bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?
You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasnāt on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasnāt enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?
It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. Itās maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and heās finally doing it. Through a song but still, heās doing it. It isnāt exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? Thatās what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now heās the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just donāt know what to do. How the tables have turned.
The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You canāt help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe thatās why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldnāt. Because you didnāt work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.
Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didnāt let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.
He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?
The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesnāt anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didnāt let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do itā¦ to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You canāt tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.
God, you hate him so much!
How could he do this to you after all this time?
Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?
You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isnāt it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the worldā¦
You repeat that last bit in your head. Heās declaring his love to the world.
Heās no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. Heās not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.
Heās doing his bit in communicating, but unless you donāt do something about it, it wonāt matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You arenāt sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. Itās your best friend again.
>> Did you listen?
<< Yeah.
>> How are you feeling?
<< Confused.
<< Are you still talking to him?
>> Yeah we all are.
<< Why didnāt you tell me that?
>> You said you didnāt wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.
Just like you thought. You canāt blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you canāt help but wonderā¦
<< How is he doing?
>> Not great. He misses you.
<< I miss him too.
>> Are you gonna call him?
You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? Thatās the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldnāt. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.
<< I donāt know what to do.
>> Just give him a call. Heās the love of your life.
You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour.Ā
Heās the love of your life.
Heās a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.
And you are the love of his life.
Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.
I'll add this to my reading list for later, but I couldn't stop commenting because you're learning Dutch?! Hi from the Netherlands š³š±! I feel a little honored you're learning my native language! š„¹
I'm living veeery close to the Netherlands where they also speak Dutch (wink wink) I might be butchering your language a bit but that's the only way to learn it š
Thank you so much for the support and I hope you enjoyed your read. ā¤ļø
summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you donāt know what to do.
pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.
word count: 2.3K
A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.
This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.
>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.
Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ā¤ļø
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.
>> Hey! I know you donāt want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.
Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really donāt want to hear his voice. Not because you donāt like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?
You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. Itās not particularly Buckyās style. He sounds like heās in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.
He talks about how much he regrets the things he didnāt do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but heās afraid that you wonāt pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.
The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifullyā¦ You canāt believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and itās not even his style. Heās a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze.Ā
āYou are the love of my love.ā
Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and itās hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. Thatās when you notice the name of the song. Itās the Love of My Life.
Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didnāt matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didnāt matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.
Thatās when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didnāt care enough. He didnāt put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you werenāt just beating a dead horse.
You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. Thatās when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world.Ā
What a fucking asshole!
It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.
You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. Itās one of the nicknames he used often for you.Ā
He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he canāt help but imagine you in that guyās arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though heās not in your life anymore.
There are so many details throughout the song that indicate heās talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.
Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreakā¦ He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.
Selfish bastard!
He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if thatās what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.
The problem is, itās just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didnāt even think about calling someone else baby. You didnāt feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!
You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look.Ā
Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didnāt care if it would hurt him. Because he didnāt care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who donāt care who they are hurting. You didnāt get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.
Then it finally hits you. Heās talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.
You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. Thatās why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you.Ā
You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You canāt help but laugh. Heās so predictable. He just couldnāt bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?
You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasnāt on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasnāt enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?
It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. Itās maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and heās finally doing it. Through a song but still, heās doing it. It isnāt exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? Thatās what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now heās the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just donāt know what to do. How the tables have turned.
The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You canāt help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe thatās why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldnāt. Because you didnāt work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.
Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didnāt let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.
He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?
The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesnāt anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didnāt let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do itā¦ to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You canāt tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.
God, you hate him so much!
How could he do this to you after all this time?
Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?
You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isnāt it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the worldā¦
You repeat that last bit in your head. Heās declaring his love to the world.
Heās no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. Heās not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.
Heās doing his bit in communicating, but unless you donāt do something about it, it wonāt matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You arenāt sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. Itās your best friend again.
>> Did you listen?
<< Yeah.
>> How are you feeling?
<< Confused.
<< Are you still talking to him?
>> Yeah we all are.
<< Why didnāt you tell me that?
>> You said you didnāt wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.
Just like you thought. You canāt blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you canāt help but wonderā¦
<< How is he doing?
>> Not great. He misses you.
<< I miss him too.
>> Are you gonna call him?
You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? Thatās the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldnāt. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.
<< I donāt know what to do.
>> Just give him a call. Heās the love of your life.
You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour.Ā
Heās the love of your life.
Heās a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.
And you are the love of his life.
Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.
