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I really like everything going on for second best so far!! I also want an angsty part but idk if this will go with the person who had an angsty request. Maybe while y/n is in the rain waiting for Wanda and Natasha, she actually gets kidnapped by Agatha. Natasha and Wanda arenât able to find her for several weeks. But Agatha turns out to be a better mother than Wanda and y/n calls Agatha âmommyâ. If Natasha and Wanda end up finding y/n, maybe y/n even tells Wanda that Agatha was better?
Second Best: Agatha All Along Edition
Mom!ScarletWidow & Agatha Harkness & Child!Fem!Reader
Link to Part One [x], Part Two [x], Alt Part Two [x], Multiverse Ending [x] and Found Runaway Ending [x]
[A/N] Thank you so much for the request sweetie, hope you enjoy this one đ
Agatha knows that sheâs not a good person. Good people donât murder others to steal their powers. Her Nicky had been good though. How a child born to Agatha could be so good she had no idea. Whenever Agatha did something bad she couldnât help thinking about how Nicky would be disappointed in her. It didnât stop her completely but it did make her feel guilty, something she dragged around like the chains Jacob Marley wore in âA Christmas Carolâ. Stupid book.
Agatha had made a point of never harming children. If any pregnant woman or one with a young child tried to join her âcovensâ she would always turn them away. Even someone like Agatha had a moral code to an extent. Thatâs why she does pause when she finds out when she realises she can use you to get to Wanda Maximoff. Agatha wouldnât have even known what you looked like if that paparazzi hadnât snapped a photo of Wanda whilst she was pregnant, holding onto your hand as you walked alongside her. Tony was usually on it with keeping photos of Avengers kids out of the papers, but that was one that had slipped through the cracks apparently.
It surprises Agatha how much the sight of you crying in the rain, calling out pitifully for your Momsâ affects her. Youâve taken shelter in a bus stop but the rain has already plastered your hair and clothes to your skin, and youâre shivering, your thin cardigan not providing you any warmth. The teddy bear youâre clutching in your arms is also sodden but youâre still clinging to it like your life depends on it. Something about it makes Agatha pause and for a moment she just watches you. Time begins to slip by but no one comes, and your cries grow more distressed as the wind howls through the bus shelter.
Eventually she pulls her hood up and crosses the street, squatting down in front of you. Youâre sat on the floor now, clutching your bear tightly in your arms, your heavy backpack on the ground next to you. âAre you lost?â Agatha asks softly.
You look at her with wide, fearful eyes and nod, holding your bear even tighter. Agatha clears her throat. Itâs been a while since sheâs interacted with a child, especially one as young as you. You look about Nickyâs age when heâd- She tries her best to smile, gesturing to the bear in your arms, âWhatâs his name?â
For a moment you just stare at her with wide eyes before finally replying in a tiny voice, âHer. Rosie.â
âWell, thatâs a pretty name,â Agatha says. âLooks like sheâs pretty cold and wet. Maybe sheâd like to come home with me. We could have a hot chocolate.â
You hesitate, clearly tempted by her offer. Your stomach rumbles and youâre shivering, desperate to not be lost in the rain anymore. Eventually you pipe up in that same tiny voice, âIâm not supposed to talk to strangers.â
âWell, Iâm not a stranger. I know your Mom. In fact, she sent me to pick you up.â
You peer at her, your eyes wide and still hesitant. âReally?â
âSure. Look, me and your Mom are practically sisters.â Your eyes are wide as Agatha shows you her powers, the purple energy shifting between her fingers, just the way Wandaâs does. âSee, weâre one in the same. Come on, you donât wanna stay out here, do you? Youâll catch a cold and your Mom will be furious with me.â
Seemingly satisfied that she must be who she says she is you stand up. Agatha picks you up, glancing at your bag before deciding to leave that behind. You donât ask for it and you seem happy enough with just your teddy bear. As she carries you away you donât protest though you do ask quietly, âWhatâs your name?â
âItâs Agatha,â She tells you. âAgatha Harkness. Letâs get you somewhere warm and dry, huh? Youâre safe now. I promise.â
Agatha watches as you sit at her table, a blanket draped around your shoulders, your wet hair now wrapped in a towel, whilst you sip hot chocolate from her least favourite mug. Well, Agatha doesnât know you well â what if you break it? Youâre a strangely careful child though, holding the mug with both of your hands, taking small, slow sips. Rosie is perched in front of the fireplace, and Agathaâs reassured you sheâs a safe enough distance away to dry off whilst not catching fire.
âWhen is Mommy coming to get me?â
âNot sure,â Agatha replies. âYou might have to spend the night here.â You look a little nervous and she leans over to tickle under your chin, âDonât look like that, itâll be fun.â
âBut I donât have my pyjamas or my toothbrush-â
âI have spares. Youâll have everything you need.â Agatha gives you a small smile, âAnd Rosie too, donât worry.â
You canât help giggling at that, taking a bite out of the cookie Agatha had put out for you. Although Agatha hadnât intended to hurt you at any point, she had intended to send a photo to Wanda, to let her know you were here, that she now had the upper hand. As she gazes at you, Agatha begins to wonder what she even wants from Wanda. It had been years since sheâd had a run in with Wanda Maximoff. When was the last time Agatha was truly happy?
When she was with Nicky, Agatha supposes. Everyone says those early years go by quickly but Agatha feels like she blinked and Nicky was suddenly stolen from her. It wasnât fair. Why did Maximoff get two children? One of which she apparently couldnât even be bothered to keep an eye on. Youâd gone home with Agatha easily enough; anyone else couldâve taken advantage of you. Her heart hurts as you take another small sip of your hot chocolate, apparently accepting quietly that your Momsâ arenât coming for you tonight.
âWhat were you doing today?â Agatha asks. âYou were running away?â
You look at her with big, worried eyes, âI wanted to go to the compound to see Uncle Tony.â
âWhy didnât you ask your Momsâ to take you?â
âTheyâre too busy with Scarlett,â You mumble grumpily. âThey love her more than me because she grew in Mommyâs belly.â
Agatha raises her eye-brows. It had never been mentioned in the press that you were adopted, and sheâd always assumed youâd been the creation of sperm donor as Scarlett had been. It hadnât even crossed Agathaâs mind that Wanda hadnât carried you herself. âI see. So what, you were going to go and live at the compound?â
âI donât know,â You say, taking another bite of your cookie. âI just wanted to see Uncle Tony.â
âYou know, I had a little boy once,â Agatha suddenly says. âHe was about your age.â
âDo you have a photo of him?â
âOh⊠No, he- He was a little boy in a time before photos.â
You nod thoughtfully â your Mama doesnât have any photos of herself as a little girl either. She says Grandma Melina has some but youâve never seen them. âWhat happened to him?â
âHe- Heâs not with me anymore.â
You finish your cookie and ponder her words for a moment, âIâm not with my birth Mommy anymore either. She couldnât look after me so I got adopted.â
Agatha nods, watching as you take the final sip of your hot chocolate. âItâs getting late,â She says. âAre you hungry for anything else?â You shake your head and Agatha nods. âI guess I should set you up somewhere to sleep.â
Thereâs a room in Agathaâs house that sheâd set aside as âNickyâs room. Stupid really, given Nickyâs never set foot in the house but she hadnât been able to help herself. For a moment she considers setting up the couch for you but then she sees the way youâre looking up at her with those big, sleepy eyes and she realises that you need a proper bed. Before she has chance to over think, she bends down and lifts you up, cradling you in her arms. You yawn and point wordlessly to your teddy bear so she bends down again, placing the still slightly damp bear into your arms. You lean your head against her shoulder, holding Rosie in one arm and putting your thumb in your mouth.
For a long moment Agatha just holds you in her arms and you let her. Itâs been weeks since your Momsâ held you like this and itâs nice to feel cared for. Thereâs something familiar and comforting about her and Agatha brushes her lips gently against your forehead as you yawn. Agatha rocks you gently in her arms, feeling comforted herself. She hasnât held a child like this since Nicky. She hasnât held a child at all in fact since Nicky. It feels⊠Nice. Familiar.
As the weeks go by Agatha notices that with each day you ask less and less about your Momsâ. On the first morning Agatha had made you pancakes, and youâd asked her over breakfast when you were going home. Youâd asked her whilst you were both doing a jigsaw puzzle, whilst you had lunch, whilst you were drawing, whilst you were playing hide and seek, during dinner and as she was tucking you into bed. By the end of the first week you only asked her a couple of times, then once a day. For the past week, you hadnât asked at all. Not once had you asked if you could speak to your Momsâ on the phone or question why they werenât there.
Perhaps it was because the two of you were too busy having fun. Agatha had cut your hair in the hopes less people would recognise you and sheâd thrown herself into being a Mom. This wasnât supposed to happen but it just⊠Had. Agatha lost interest in Wanda and focused all her attention on you. For the first time in hundreds of years, life felt worth living again.
When youâd been there for three months Agatha finally suggested that you redecorate your room, a subtle way of letting you know that you were here to stay. It was a decision sheâd struggled with, not wanting to feel like she was replacing Nicky but⊠Well, you were here. It had never been Nickyâs room, not really. Youâd met her suggestion with complete enthusiasm, and you and Agatha laughed together as you repainted your room in your favourite colour. Sheâd taken you to Bed, Bath & Beyond, letting you pick out new curtains and bed sheets. Agatha had even offered to get you a new teddy bear but youâd shaken your head, clearly loyal to Rosie.
With every day that passed, Agatha realised she was starting to love you. Being a Mom was her purpose, she was realising. And you⊠Well, you were wonderful. The sweetest, most interesting little girl that Agatha had ever met. It wasnât just being a Mom that Agatha loved; it was being your Mom. If you were crying and begging to go home, Agatha is fairly sure she would take you back but you werenât. You seemed settled, you seemed⊠Like you loved her too.
Agatha had gotten into the habit of teaching you at home, and was helping you to learn how to write the alphabet. You wouldâve started school in the Fall but itâs not like Agatha can register you anywhere. âShow me how you write an âAâ,â Agatha prompts.
You carefully write the letter, looking up for her approval, âA for Agatha!â
âThatâs right, A for Agatha, well done. Youâre so clever.â Agatha ruffles your hair. âMy clever girl.â
You giggle, âCan I have a cookie please?â
âIf you can write down as much of the alphabet as you can remember for me then maybe Iâll consider it.â Agatha looks up at the sound of a knock on the door and she leans over to press a kiss to your forehead. âWait here.â
Agatha has barely opened the door when sheâs suddenly thrown across the room in a whirl of red, crashing to the floor with a groan. You scream, jumping up from the table, âAgatha-â
âY/N!â
A familiar voice calls your name and in storm Natasha and Wanda, along with Nick Fury and Steve Rogers. Natasha lifts you up into her arms, pressing kiss after kiss to your face, âOh Y/N, youâre okay, youâre okay, thank God, my baby-â
You squirm in her hold, trying to get down. Agatha is still crumpled on the floor and you sob loudly, reaching your arms out for her. Wanda crosses the room, blocking your view of Agatha as she cups your cheek with her hand, âOh Sweetie, thank God youâre okay-â
âPut me down!â
âHey, hey,â Natasha says, holding you tighter. âBaby, itâs us; itâs your Momâs-â
âAgathaâs my Mommy!â You sob loudly, trying to reach around Wanda for Agatha. âI want Mommy!â
âHey, Iâm your Mommy,â Wanda says desperately. âDo you have any idea how worried weâve been? Youâve been missing for months, we thought- God, baby, we thought-â
Agatha stands up slowly from the floor, feeling her heart plummet to her stomach. Theyâd thought you were dead. Regardless of Agathaâs anger towards the two women for how theyâd treated you, how theyâd neglected you, it hits her that sheâd let two Motherâs think their daughter was dead. Both of them look⊠Awful. Theyâve lost weight and there are dark circles beneath their eyes from lack of sleep. Their faces are drawn and pale, both of them almost weak with relief to have you back.
But all you can do is sob and scream for Agatha.
âWeâre going to get you home,â Natasha says, holding you firmly in her arms. âEverythingâs going to be okay, we promise, we promiseâŠâ
âPlease, let me at least say goodbye,â Agatha says desperately, taking a step forward.
Wanda turns around, her eyes absolutely blazing, her powers flaring angrily between her fingers, âYou stay away from our daughter. What did you do to her?â
Agatha opens and closes her mouth as Nick Fury comes forward, handcuffing her. It would be easy to resist. To use the remaining power she has to try and escape but what would be the point? Where would she go and what would she even do? Youâd been her entire world for the past few months and without you, wellâŠ
What had she done to you? Sheâd loved you. Loved you almost as much as sheâd loved her Nicky all those years ago. Loved you like you were her own. And now she was losing you. It wasnât fair â she couldnât even argue. Natasha and Wanda were your Momâs, the oneâs with the paperwork, the oneâs with the legal rights. Agatha had been a temporary fill-in.
âMommy!â You sob loudly as Natasha tries her best to rock you in her arms, to reassure you, to comfort you. Tears are streaming down Natashaâs cheeks, joy and relief to be reunited with her beloved little girl. But four months is a long time in a childâs life and youâd accepted Agatha as your Mom. Natashaâs arms felt foreign and strange now, and you reach out for Agatha again, whining desperately.
âIâm your Mommy,â Wanda says tearfully as she turns back to you, running her fingers gently over your cheek. âIâm your Mommy, and Iâm here now. We never stopped searching for you our precious baby-â
You scream as Agatha is lead out of the house and shoved into the back of a car. Agatha just stares forward, trying her best not to listen to your cries, her heart shattering. She closes her eyes, trying her best to keep her own tears at bay.
âAgathaâs my Mommy!â You cry as Wanda takes you into her own arms. âWant Agatha!â
âBaby, please-â
âShe was a better Mommy than you!â You shout at the top of your voice. âI want my Mommy!â
âListen, listen, please baby,â Wanda says. âI know things got crazy with Scarlett, we know we messed up, we know we did. We donât blame you for running away but we thought- Weâve missed you like crazy, youâre so precious to us. Youâre our little girl. Ours. Itâs time to take you home.â
You sob harder and Wanda and Natasha exchange a helpless glance, Wanda pressing a reassuring kiss to your forehead as you continue to cry. âLetâs just get her home,â Natasha says quietly. âThe sooner we get her settled again, the better.â
They carry you out to their car, Wandaâs heart cracking every time you cry out and struggle in her arms. You were supposed to be her little girl. Her special big girl. Where had it gone so wrong? How could you be calling Agatha your Mommy? Wandaâs not sure but sheâs going to do everything she can to get you settled back home. Youâre her little girl. Her baby.
Hi! Just wanna say Iâm very proud of how far you are getting in your backlog of story requests. Youâre doing a great job. Remember, if you feel burnt out just take your time. Stay hydrated and rest your brain.
(also it amuses me when Iâm reading your fics and something like âcrossâ or âinnitâ is said cause I then remember your British lol)
have a good today and tomorrow đ
Omg thank you so much đâ€ïž You're so sweet! It's really satisfying to see the request number going down but I am looking forward to seeing fresh ideas roll in when I reopen đ„°
LOL have I said innit in one of my fics? I'm ngl it never occurred to me until this message that the Americans don't say 'cross' to mean angry so I Googled it and wow you really don't đ I grew up on Jacqueline Wilson books so I've definitely used 'cross', that's so funny đđ Writing these fics has me Googling the weirdest things about what American's would or wouldn't say đ
Have a good today and tomorrow too đ
Genuinely loved Relationships, it was so interesting, I am a sucker for hurt/comfort but i do sympathize with the thought that there should've been more groveling cause wdym just like that they are forgiven. Maybe I'm just a grudge holder đ Anyways forgive me for my ramble but it was great you are such a talented writer!
That's so sweet, I'm so glad you enjoyed it đ LOL, it seems everyone this page is a grudge holder but it is valid, they weren't the best girlfriends in that fic đ
Thanks so much for your kind message, you're a sweetie â€ïž
Hi! I saw ur submission Q&A and saw that ur submissions are closed but it says march 2026, are they still closed as of june?? Also im kinda new to tumblr does submissions mean like sending these messages in to you?? đŁ im sorry
Hey my sweetie! Please don't be sorry, your questions are totally valid đ
Submissions are fic requests and as of June 2026 they are still closed because the backlog has been so massive to get through. I am hoping to get through them by July or August at the latest so I can start accepting requests again â€ïž
Sending asks is totally fine in the meantime, I do love a yap and to talk to y'all so feel free to message! đ„°
Hiii. Could you make a fic featuring Natasha Romanoff X fem!reader in which they are happily married and one night Natasha has a terrible nightmare: she comes back home and finds Dreykov, Madame B and some widows torturing and then painfully killing reader with her not being able to do anything and being forced to watch everything unfold. Natasha wakes up startled, absolutely terrified and in a complete emotional breakdown (tears, shaking, breathing erratically...) and wakes up reader to make sure she is NOT really dead. Reader comforts, reassures, and loves her (LOTS of fluff) and in the meantime they remember again why they're truly each other's soulmate (reader is aware that Natasha is not that vulnerable with anyone else and she is honoured Nat lets her and Natasha is thankful that someone loves and chooses her despite her past and trauma). Thanks in advance and sorry for making the request this long xoxo.
Trauma
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
TW's: Blood, violence, death
[A/N] Been suffering a little with writer's block and last time I said that on this blog it went away almost immediately so I'm saying it again in case it happens again â€ïž Happy Pride month everyone, I'll be sure to keep the lesbian fics coming this month đ Thanks for the request my lovely anon, compared to some requests I get it wasn't actually that long đ Hope you enjoy this one đ
Natasha unlocks the front door to the apartment sheâd moved into with you five years ago. Your relationship had been going well at the time and youâd hinted more than once that youâd like to take things a step further. Eventually Natasha had relented, agreeing to move out of the Avengers compound into an apartment with you. It was small, none of the windows closed properly so there was always a draught, and every so often the shower randomly leaked with no rhythm or reason, but it had quickly become home. Natasha loved looking around and seeing pieces of you everywhere. Books strewn across the floor, the necklace you always wore left absentmindedly by the kitchen sink, your cardigan thrown over the back of a chair.
Youâd gotten married two years ago, and Natasha couldnât be happier. Marriage had always been something Natasha thought she wouldnât experience. Even when she escaped the Red Room sheâd figured, who could love someone as broken as her? You could, apparently. You were Natashaâs everything, and she was so glad sheâd found you.
Maybe itâs because sheâs been feeling so safe lately but Natasha doesnât immediately notice anything out of place. Itâs only when sheâs kicked off her shoes that she notices the overturned coffee table, your plant pot broken with the soil spilt across the floor. You werenât always the tidiest person around but Natasha knows if youâd bumped into it, you wouldnât have just left it like that. This looked almost like-
âBaby?â Natasha calls out. âAre you home?â
Thereâs music playing in the living room and Natasha recognises it as Tchaikovsky, the âSwan Lakeâ soundtrack. Why would you be listening to that? Itâs playing loudly and it gets quieter as she creeps slowly down the corridor, and as the music quietens she begins to hear the sound of panicked sobs, and a voice calling her name. Your voice.
The moment Natasha steps into the living room someone kicks her in the leg, knocking her off her feet. Before she can react a series of punches get thrown on her, several to her face, and several to her stomach, disorienting her completely. Natasha tries to scramble to her feet, to reach for her weapon but two women grab her arms, pulling them behind her back. She squirms weakly in their grip, her alarmed gaze searching the room, finally landing on you.
Youâre tied to one of the dining chairs, tears streaming down your cheeks, blood everywhere, your face battered and bruised as you let out pained pants through your tears. On either side of you stand two people Natasha remembers well, no matter how hard she wants to forget them. Madame B, her supervisor from the Red Room, and Dreykov, the man whoâd put her there. Holding her back are presumably two Widowâs, and on either side of Madame B and Dreykov are four more Widowâs, each of them expressionless.
âWhat are you doing?â Natasha asks, thrashing in the grip of the women holding her. âWhat are you doing to her?â
Nobody answers her. Madame B turns back to you and you whimper, trying to squirm away from her touch as she presses a knife to your throat. Natasha thrashes harder, reaching desperately for you, âDonât do this! Leave her alone, please, please, leave her alone-â
Natasha tries to scream but her words are coming out croaked, like her voice is slowly disappearing. Sheâs panicking now, so desperate to get to you. What are they doing here? How did they find her? Why are they targeting you? Questions fly through Natashaâs head but she tries to push them away, focusing on you, pulling desperately in the grip of the Widowâs but they hang on, and sheâs still disoriented from the punches. For a moment sheâs certain the Widow standing behind Dreykov is Yelena, when she blinks she turns into Melina, another blink and itâs Natasha herself. She shakes her head, mumbling desperately, âNo, no, no, this isnât happening, this isnât happeningâŠâ
Dreykov smiles, gesturing with his head, and Madame B drags the knife across your throat, blood beginning to pour out like a fountain. Your eyes are wide as you look towards Natasha, unable to speak as you cough and splutter, blood spilling out of your mouth. Natashaâs crying now, trying her best to scream over and over again, âNo! No, please! Please! Not her! Iâll do anything, please! Please-â
But itâs too late and Natasha knows it. Your horrified gaze remains on her until your eyes glaze over, your expression stuck in permanent terror as your body slumps awkwardly in the chair, held up now only by the ropes. Dreykov turns to Natasha and she shakes her head, stammering over her words and her tears. Youâre gone. Why did they do this to you? Natasha doesnât care what happens to her now, you were her only reason for waking up in the morning, and now youâre gone, youâre gone-
Natasha bolts awake, sitting upright in bed and panting heavily. The bedroom is dark and for a moment sheâs completely disoriented. Natasha reaches over to switch on the bedside lamp, her breathing coming out in erratic pants as she looks around the room. Finally her gaze lands on you and she chokes back a sob. Youâre lying next to her, fast asleep, and before Natasha can think about what sheâs doing she shakes your shoulder roughly, âY/N! Y/N!â
You wake up with a start, looking up at her with wide eyes, âWha- What?â
âOh- Y/NâŠâ
Natasha pulls you upright and into her arms, crying into your shoulder. For a moment youâre irritated by the sudden wakeup call but when you realise Natashaâs crying you instantly soften, wrapping your own arms around her. Â You know Natasha better than anyone but youâve only seen her cry twice, and both times sheâd left the room immediately so you wouldnât see. This is the very first time sheâs allowed herself to cry so openly. âI thought there was a house fire for a minute,â You tease softly, your own heart pounding in your chest. âBut I guess there mustâve been another reason that you woke me up.â
Natasha doesnât reply and thatâs when you feel her shaking, her hands digging into the fabric of the baggy t-shirt you wear to sleep in. You try to pull back to look at her but she hangs on, desperate to hold onto you, so you relent, letting her just hold you if thatâs what she wants. Her breathing is still coming out in erratic pants, so you rub your hand up and down her back, mumbling, âHey... Nat, baby, itâs okay⊠Everythingâs okayâŠâ
Natasha canât speak, letting out a gulping sob as she presses a shaky kiss to your forehead, letting herself feel that youâre safe and that more importantly, youâre alive. Eventually she pulls back to look at you, cupping your cheek in her hand, âAre you okay?â
âYeah⊠Yeah, I was just asleep. Are you okay?â
Natasha suddenly pulls away, grabbing her sidearm that she keeps in the bedside drawer and creeping into the hallway. You start to say her name but Natasha holds up a finger to silence you, so you quieten, letting her do whatever she feels she needs to do. Natasha checks every room of the small apartment, every possible hiding spot until sheâs satisfied that thereâs no one else there. She checks the front door is definitely locked before heading back to bed and pulling you into her arms again.
You reach up to gently wipe a tear on her cheek, âTell me whatâs wrong.â
âYou were dead.â Just saying the words out loud makes Natasha sob again, and your expression softens, kissing her tearstained cheek. âI couldnât do anything, I was- I couldnât save you, God, I couldnât save you-â
âIâm fine. Okay? Nothing happened, it was just a bad dream.â
âIt was worse than a bad dream, it was⊠Fuck, it was so real. You were-â Natasha lets out a shaky breath, leaning her forehead against yours. âI thought Iâd lost you. I thought Iâd fucking lost you.â
You tilt your head to press a slow, loving kiss to her lips, and mumble, âIâm right here. Nothingâs gonna happen to me-â
âYou donât know that,â Natasha says urgently. âI wasnât there to protect you and they got the upper hand and then I couldnât- I couldnât-â
âNat, baby, it wasnât real. I donât know what happened but it was just a bad dream.â
âWhat if it wasnât though?â Natasha sobs. âThis apartment isnât the most secure and I worry about you here all by yourself while Iâm away on missions. Anything could happen and if I- If I lost you, I donât know if I could- I wouldnât be able to-â
You consider her words for a moment, your fingers gently running over her cheek, wiping away a tear that slips down, âWhat would make you feel better?â
Natasha hesitates, swallowing down another sob as she tries to get a hold of her emotions. What would make her feel better? âI- I want to teach you basic self defence.â
âOkay.â
âWhat, youâre going to agree just like that?â
âIâd agree to anything if it made you feel better. Besides, Iâve wanted to learn for a while, Iâd rather get taught by you.â
âAnd I want to install a security system,â Natasha says. âIâm not even asking the landlord, Iâm just gonna do it.â
âWeâre not getting our deposit back, are we?â
âYouâre more important to me.â
You meet her gaze, seeing the way sheâs looking at you. Her eyes are red, her eyelashes glistening as another tear trickles down her flushed cheek. Itâs the most vulnerable youâve ever seen her and you know itâs rare. A sign that she trusts you. Itâs only taken her six years of being together, two of them in which youâve been married. You kiss her teary cheek again, âYouâre important to me too. Okay? And if I have to take all the self defence courses in New York, start carrying pepper spray, have the fanciest, most expensive security system that money can buy, then I will. Anything to make you feel better.â
Natasha sniffles, looking down at the bed, âI know Iâm being a lot right now-â
âNo, youâre being real, and I appreciate it. I love you.â
âI love you more,â Natasha replies without hesitation. âI still shouldnât have cried.â
âItâs okay to cry, you know?â You say gently, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear. âItâs not a weakness, itâs just⊠Having a good cry makes me feel better. Do you know how many times a day I sneak to the bathroom at work to have a little cry?â
âThat often? Do you like⊠Need help?â
âOkay, itâs not that often but sometimes things get on top of you and crying does help.â You cup her cheek with your hand again, your voice dropping quieter, âI know you didnât cry as a kid. I know what they said to you, what they did to you if you cried⊠But youâre not there anymore, youâre here with me. And if you need to cry then you can just cry.â
âYouâre my soulmate, you know that?â Natasha says with a small, tearful smile. âYouâre the only person I fully trust.â
âWhat about Clint?â
âI trust Clint with my life but I trust you with my emotions.â
You smile, unable to resist kissing her cheek again. Her breathing has calmed somewhat and you run your fingers through her hair, before pressing a kiss to her forehead this time, âDo you wanna stay up a bit longer? We could put a movie on, just for some background noise and cuddle for a bit.â
Natasha hadnât even realised that was what she needed until you suggested it. You know her even better than she knows herself sometimes. She nods mutely, cuddling into your side as you scroll through Netflix looking for something comforting to watch. Her arm snakes around your waist and she presses a kiss to your neck, âIâm sorry, I know you have work in the morning-â
âItâs one night of slightly broken sleep, Iâm sure Iâll survive. Besides, Iâd choose cuddles with you over sleep anytime.â
Natasha kisses you again as you finally settle on âMean Girlsâ, an old comfort film you both enjoy. Natasha relaxes as the familiar opening begins to play and you wrap your arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Sheâs still on edge from her nightmare but the movie combined with your comforting presence helps to soothe her. You run your fingers through her hair and she sighs, loving when you do that. If anyone else tried to touch her hair sheâd slap them, but youâre different. Your touch relaxes her and she feels a rush of love and gratitude for you.
Nothing will ever happen to you, Natasha will make sure of it. She knows Madame B and Dreykov canât come after you, that theyâre both dead now, that her dream was just her subconscious fucking with her. But there are other threats out there and if anyone tries to get near you, theyâll soon regret it. No one touches Natashaâs wife and gets away with it.
I got a new phone and old phone email which I no longer have access too is my tumblr email, So when I was trying to login into tumblr, I just couldnât. I thought I had lost your account because all I could remember about your username was marvel something, like jeez thatâs helpful đ.
But because Iâm so smart (sarcasm) I looked up posts I remember you writing about, and I found it!!. In celebration I thought I would out my account since I canât access it and I use a different account to post.
My user was âMarvelwizâïżŒ
Also Happy pride month !!
- đ
APPLE ANON! MARVELWIZ! I'm glad you found me again! â€ïž
Getting a new phone and having to download and log into EVERYTHING is such a ballache đ So happy that you made it back though đ
Happy Pride Month to you too! đâ€ïž I'm hopefully dropping a Natasha fic later after not updating yesterday... Keep an eye out đ
We need to make it legal by law for WandaNat to stop treating Reader like shit đ!!!!! #Justice4Reader
(I loved it btw <3 I can never get enough of angst, that's one of my biggest flaws đ)
Listen... Listen, listen, listen đ I did my best đ
Glad that you enjoyed it đ Even if no one liked the ending đ
Liking angst is not a flaw, when I was a teenager there were some videos that I knew would make me cry so every so often I just watched them to have a good cry đ I remember thinking that was normal at the time but I haven't had the urge to do it for years so I'm not sure what that says about my emotional state? đ Sometimes you just wanna feel something!! I get you đ«Ą
Tw- mention of death, mention of amputee, mention of getting shot, hospital, nightmares , drug usage (medically)
A/N: this is my first time writing a fic đł, I usually write sometimes but I've never really written something full-fledged đ. So if you have any advice, please throw it at my face đ„č. Even if you have criticism. English isn't my first language so please don't mind spelling errors and grammer mistakes (point them out if possible đ„č) . And HUGE thanks to my beta reader đđ <3
One of the earliest memories you remember was being carried out your room by your mum after you had a nightmare. She used to sit you down on the couch, bring you a big glass of warm milk and a cookie, and put on one of those silly cartoons to take your mind off the icky feeling of the nightmare.
You also remember hugging her leg as she made your favourite speghetti, which's smell you still remember. You remember her kissing your cheek and praising you when you had drawn a picture of her and you under a rainbow.
And one of the last memories of your mom was her holding you, whispering reassurance in a pained tone while she bled to her death. You don't really remember much after that. You have a vague memory of being fed mashed potatoes in a police station.
What you don't remember was how HYDRA had captured you. You remember the first time in your cell, crying because it was scary and dark. you don't remember how that fear, turned into a unacknowledge discomfort. You don't remember what you were being given to eat everyday but you remember that you ate.
You remember one of the nurses pitying you when they first sat you in the chair. How she slipped you a tiny chocolate without anyone knowing. You remember the sweetness of the chocolate. you remember how they had show you her hanging body. How they had forced you to look despite the waves of nausea crashing over you. How they said that it was your fault. You remember how a slight numbness crept into your heart.
---
The first thing you register was the bone deep ache across every inch of your body. You tried to open your eyes, but they felt heavy. It was obvious you were under the influence of some drug, you could've figured out what it was it your head wasn't swimming all over the place.
Since you couldn't really see, you had to rely on your other senses. You could hear a steady beeping of a machine. A timer? You thought, but the beeps came with short intervals. It sounded more like a pulse. A heartbeat. A vital monitor.
You smelt the suffocating smell of some sort of medicine. You couldn't pinpoint what it was due to the combination of different types of them.
You could feel something press onto your chest. Something against your mouth. Something against you wrists and ankles. You tried to move them, but they were as motionless as your eyelids.
Panic set in slowly. You tried to make sense of what was happening. You knew that you were currently under the influence of a drug, and in some sort of health care setting. The weight on your face must be a oxygen mask, and the things on your limbs must be restraints. You tried to remember what had happened before you ended up like this, but it felt like something was pulling you in. Before you knew it, you had already fallen unconscious.
---
You don't realise that you were awake again until you heard some voices. "How is she holding up?" One asks. It seems to be a man. "She's healing fast, probably due to the serum." Said another, a female. It also seems that the drugs affects were wearing off as now your eyelids didn't feel like heavy weighted blanket. Slowly opening them, the first thing you register was the harsh white celing light above your face. Wincing, you close your eyes for a moment before blinking them open again.
You tug your arms and realised they were bound. looking down a bit, you could clearly see that you hands were cuffed to the bed-railing. When you look further down, you see one of your leg tied and another in a cast.
It was broken about a month ago after you had tried to escape. One of the HYDRA agents had twisted and broken your leg as a punishment. They waited for a week for it to heal and since it wasn't set right nor put in a cast, it obviously didn't heal. You remember sitting on the uncomfortable examination table as the doctor had informed you that they were going to amputate your leg and replace it with a metal one in two weeks. You remember giving a small nod, knowing no one cared if you were okay with it or not.
You're startled out your thoughts as two people walk in suddenly. One was wearing a white coat, short black hair, looked like a woman and the other was a tall white man. You'd recognise that face anywhere. It was the same face HYDRA had made you hate from a young age. Steve Rodgers. When you met his face, your forehead started to hurt, from both the bright lights and the sudden rush of memories.
You were sitting in your HYDRA cell, on the bed. Your feet barely touched the ground, even with the super- soldier serum, you were quiet short. You remember the alarm blaring, the locks on the cells being overdriven, other prisionors fighting the guards. You tired to throw a punch, but the guard had shot you straight in the stomach. You remember falling to the ground, everyone running past you. No one saved you. Then you remember someone coming, lifting you and carrying you in a fireman lift. You slowly lost consciousness soon after that.
The piece fall into place. The HYDRA base your were kept in was raided. You were shot, and someone had saved you. And that someone seemed to be Captain America himself according to your disoriented memory. And now you're tied to the hospital bed in a place which seems to be Avengers tower. You could tell by the car honking coming from the streets below.
Please can I request a Peter Parker fic where he's just started college and he meets reader and thinks shes really cool (maybe shes room mates with kate bishop and does archery đ) so he hides his nerdy side and tries to act cool to impress her, but eventually finds out shes a huge nerd too? Thank you!
- âšïž
Nerd
Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
[A/N] Y'ALL I totally jinxed myself when we were talking about spiders earlier this week and I said I didn't get many, there was a big one in my bathroom last night đđ After panicking for a while I ended up knocking on my neighbours door and they very kindly came over to remove the bloody thing for me đ Now I'm on edge in case he had friends! Anyway, thanks for the request my lovely đ Hope you enjoy this one â€ïž
Peter flicks his hair out of his eyes, scanning the room. Archery had never really been his forte but hey, given the entire world had forgotten about him, this was a chance to reinvent himself. Although there had been a karate society, Peter had decided to go for something new. He hadnât specifically been trained in karate but the radioactive spider bite had given him enhanced abilities so he knew heâd pick it up easily. Too easily. Archery would hopefully be more of a challenge.
Heâd also joined the film society and the Star Wars society, having been to both of the first meetings earlier in the week. Theyâd both been really interesting, the film society had watched âWhat We Do in the Shadowsâ and they were going to talk about it next week, whilst the Star Wars society had watched the first episode of âThe Mandalorianâ, something Peter had already watched but was more than happy to sit through again. Heâd spoken to a couple of people who looked like they could turn into friends, and he was feeling a lot brighter than he had a few months ago.
Empire State University had become Peterâs top choice of college. Heâd spent a long time considering going further afield but in the end had decided to stay in New York. This city was the only familiarity Peter had in his life anymore. Aunt May was gone. His friends had forgotten who he was. The world had forgotten who he was. New York was the only thing Peter had.
Admittedly, things hadnât initially gotten off to the best start. Heâd gone to his assigned dorm and found he was sharing a room with someone who reminded him greatly of Flash Thompson from High School. His roommates name was Gunner, and heâd clapped Peterâs shoulder in a way that definitely wouldâve hurt a few years ago. Gunnerâs side of the room was⊠Intense. There was a poster of a half naked girl that Peter didnât recognise above his bed, and the floor was littered with his various weights and other exercise equipment.
Peter had stuck up a Star Wars poster above his bed; something Gunner had thought was absolutely hilarious. Heâd decided not to unpack the lego Millennium Falcon that he and Ned had built together years ago, that had been a permanent fixture on his desk in Aunt Mayâs apartment. Even when heâd had to throw away a lot of his things because he had no where to put them, heâd kept that particular lego set. Instead, heâd kept it in its box, placing it in the wardrobe. He had lined his paperbacks along the back of his desk, ignoring Gunner loudly reading out the titles, and mocking them. It had crossed his mind to request a room transfer but he lived in hope that Gunner would mellow out. Besides, Gunner hadnât really spent all that much time in their shared room during orientation week. Perhaps they would find a way to muddle along until the end of the year, when Peter hopes heâll have friends he can rent some place with.
His thoughts turn to MJ and Ned over at MIT. Like he always does when they cross his mind, he tries to push them away. Instead, he scans the room again, looking for people he could potentially talk to. Thatâs when his eyes land on you.
Youâre standing a few feet away from him, chatting to a girl with dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Immediately he feels his palms turn sweaty and his cheeks turning pink. Itâs been a long time since he felt such a pull to anyone but there you are. You laugh with whoever youâre talking to but before he can decide whether heâs brave enough to approach you, the session begins.
There arenât loads of people in the archery society, so when you all line up to begin Peter moves quickly so that heâs stood next to you. This turns out to be a mistake. You and the girl with the dark hair are clearly seasoned archers, both of you hitting the bullseye immediately. Neither of you had to be shown what to do, youâd clearly done this a thousand times already. Peter stands awkwardly â despite the flyer saying this society was âbeginner friendlyâ, no one shows him what to do. Eventually you spot him and step closer, âHey. First time?â
âIâm Peter.â
He cringes at his response but you just smile and hold your hand out, âY/N. Nice to meet you.â
Peter quickly wipes his hand on his jeans before shaking yours, forcing a smile onto his face. He gestures to the targets on the other side of the room, âYeah, I uh⊠No, Iâve never done archery.â
âOkay well first of all, welcome, archery is so fun, hopefully youâll love it as much as Kate and I do. Do you want me to show you?â
Peterâs face burns as he nods mutely. He felt like he was back in High School talking to Liz. There was someone he hadnât thought of for a while. Wonder how she was doing-
He finds that itâs impossible to focus on anything else, including archery, when youâre stood so close to him. His hands fumble with the bow, and even though youâre patient heâs an absolute mess. Eventually the dark-haired girl gets involved too, introducing herself as Kate Bishop. It transpires that the two of you are roommates and had bonded over your shared love of archery. By the time the society is over Peter hasnât managed to hit the target even once, and it makes him want to crawl into a hole and die.
âYouâll get better over time, Iâm sure,â You say positively as you help pack everything away. âHave you joined any other societies?â
âOh yeah, film and St-â
Star Wars. He canât tell the coolest girl heâs ever met in his life that heâs part of the Star Wars society. Peterâs learnt not to take first impressions for granted so he schools a neutral expression on his face, âI uh, I was thinking of joining karate as well.â
âKarate and movies, huh? Sounds fun.â
âWhat about you?â
âWell-â
âY/N!â Kateâs voice calls out, âWeâre gonna be late, come on.â
You smile apologetically, âSorry, weâre meeting some girls for lunch. It was nice to meet you though. Please donât lose hope; archery is so fun once you get the hang of it. See you here next week?â
âHey uh, actually⊠Since youâre the expert maybe⊠Maybe you could show me again. Like⊠Tomorrow night or something?â
You hesitate for a moment and Peterâs heart plummets when you suddenly grin and nod, âYeah, sure. Iâll meet you here around eight?â
âAwesome! Yeah, I mean- Cool, yeah. See you tomorrow.â
You give Peter one last smile before following quickly after Kate. Peter has to resist the urge to punch the air in victory.
Itâs almost embarrassing how long Peter takes to get ready the next day. Why is it that the majority of t-shirts he owns contain something nerd related on them? He has way more Star Wars t-shirts than he ever realised, and a handful of various movie t-shirts. Thereâs a couple of checkered shirts but even those suddenly feel lame. It hadnât been this complicated when heâd liked Liz or MJ, had it? Heâd known them both a while though, heâd known they were both at least a little nerdy whereas you⊠You were cool. Peter wants to be cool too. Or at least, he wants you to think that heâs cool.
Eventually he settles on a plain blue t-shirt with a pair of black jeans. By the time he makes it back to the gym youâre already there and he sighs at how effortlessly good you look. He approaches you, holding up a hand and announcing in a slightly too loud voice, âWay!â His cheeks immediately burn and he stammers quickly, âI mean, âheyâ. I went to say âwhatâs upâ then changed my mind and decided to say âheyâ and it- Yeah.â
You grin, âWay to you too. I was just getting in a few practice shots before you got here.â
âLike you need any practice, youâre like⊠Amazing.â
âIâm not quite as good as Kate though so Iâm getting in as much practice as I can to catch up. Sheâs been doing it since she was little whereas I only started in my late teens. Iâm pretty competitive and I want to get to competition level.â
âWhat made you go for archery?â Peter asks, relieved he was able to actually answer you a sane question.
You think for a moment, shooting another arrow â a perfect bullseye. âIf thereâs ever a zombie apocalypse,â You eventually say, âIâm going to need a weapon where I can keep my distance that also doesnât make an awful lot of noise.â
Peterâs eye-brows rise at the mention of zombie apocalypses. For a moment heâs not sure whether youâre being serious when you turn to look at him and continue, âI did a few things. Got into throwing knives for a bit. There was just something about archery that I really enjoyed though. Coming to college and ending up with an archery nut as a roommate has definitely helped.â
âThrowing knives were also zombie apocalypse contenders?â
âOf course,â You grin. âItâs all about stealth in a zombie apocalypse. Youâve gotta be prepared for anything.â
Peter hesitates, wanting to ask if youâd watched âThe Walking Deadâ or whether your thoughts of zombie apocalypses had come from some other media, but he drops it. Instead, he picks up his bow and tries to keep calmer as you talk him through what to do all over again. After a few attempts he finally manages to hit the very edge of the target but you cheer and clap as if he got a bullseye. âHopefully I wonât make a complete fool of myself at the next society meet,â Peter says.
âYou didnât make a fool of yourself last time! You were just new. By the end of the semester, youâll be an expert.â
He smiles, looking down at the ground at your words before meeting your gaze again, âHey so um⊠What are you doing now?â
âIâm meeting Kate,â You say vaguely. âYou?â
Peter simply shrugs his shoulders and mumbles something about meeting up with some friends, not wanting to admit that a group of people from the Star Wars society had invited him along to watch âThe Mandalorian and Groguâ at the movie theatre. Heâd already seen the movie of course, heâd been there on release day, but he was still looking to make new friends so heâd readily accepted the invite. Besides, he wouldnât mind seeing the movie again. He watches you sling your arrows over your shoulder and leave, wishing he could ask what youâre doing with Kate, and tell you the truth about where heâs going.
A few days go by and Peter is disappointed that he doesnât see you around campus. He shouldâve suggested another night for you to practice archery with him, shouldâve asked for your number⊠Now heâs practically counting down the days until the next archery society meet just so he can see you.
He goes to the next film society and joins in an interesting discussion about the movie theyâd watched the week beforehand. Itâs a lot of fun and he ends up getting into a long discussion with a girl called Cassie who has a lot of opinions about feminism in movies. He takes her number afterwards but he still canât help thinking about you. Cassieâs a friend. Whereas you⊠Heâs not sure what you are but he knows what heâd like you to be.
Peter does perk up when the next Star Wars society meet-up comes around. This week theyâre taking it in turns to play âStar Wars Jedi: Survivorâ, someoneâs set up their PlayStation on the big screen. Heâd never owned his own console so he hadnât been able to play it. Ned had a PlayStation; theyâd planned to play it together⊠Until⊠Well.
He takes a seat next to someone heâd been to the movie theatre with the other night, starting up a friendly conversation when a voice rings out about the others, âSorry, is this the Star Wars society? I wouldâve come last week but I got lost.â
Peterâs head snaps up when he hears your voice. You stand in the doorway with a self-conscious smile, looking a little out of your depth which surprises Peter. Youâve always seemed so confident, so sure of yourself. One of the society chairs confirms that it is in act that Star Wars society, and your eyes light up when you spot Peter, a familiar face, and you move to sit on his other side.
For a moment he remembers where he is and he almost feels like heâs been caught somewhere that he shouldnât be before it clicks. You like Star Wars too. In fact, youâre wearing a âThe Mandalorianâ t-shirt.
âYou didnât say you were part of this society,â You say. âWe couldâve walked here together. I felt like such an idiot last week, I actually had no idea where I was going. Kate had to help me scope it out yesterday just so I wouldnât get lost again.â
âI uh⊠I didnât realise you liked Star Wars.â
âOh yeah, I love it, all the films including the sequels and the standalones. Iâm a bit of a geek, Iâm into all sorts. I couldnât believe it when I went on about the zombie apocalypses the other night, I was like, heâs gonna think Iâm such a nerd-â
âNo, thatâs awesome because I am too! Are you into âThe Walking Deadâ?â
âItâs like my favourite show, though itâs tied with âThe Mandalorianâ. Did you play the video game?â
âFor âThe Walking Deadâ? No, I didnât get chance-â
âOkay, itâs literally one of my favourites, you need to come over and play it sometime so I can see what decisions you make. Oh, and you know what else is great zombie media? âThe Last of Us.ââ
âRight! Itâs so good, even though Season Two wasnât-â
â- Wasnât as good, right!? Donât get me wrong, I loved the first season but-â
Everyone else begins the game but you and Peter are caught up in your own conversation as you go through all the ânerdâ things that you both enjoy, things that Peter had thought heâd have to hide from you. Realising that you were into the same things as him only made him like you even more. The chemistry is flying between the two of you and by the time the session is up, neither of you has seen even one minute of the game you were meant to be playing. When he asks for your number you agree immediately, âKate goes to fencing on Thursday nights. Come round and start playing âThe Walking Deadâ. I frickinâ love that game.â
Peter grins and nods, realising that when heâs with you, itâs the only time his mind is quiet. That he isnât replaying all his old memories of MJ, Ned, May⊠Heâs finally in the moment. And thatâs where he wants to stay â in the moment with you.
ahhahahah im the one who requested the relationships one with wanda and nat and i loved the ending btw, you such a good writer and put everything i wanted into it so tyyy also how many request do u have left just curious sorry if thats rude.
your so talented i hope you have a good day and remember to be kind to yourself( goodnight im going to bed cause its currently 2:03 am and i have school)
Thank you so much for your request!! â€ïž And thank you for coming back to let me know what you think! It was a fun request to write though it might be one of my most controversial, literally every comment was unhappy with how I ended it đ
Not a rude question at all, I have about 50 đ„°
You're so sweet! Good night, get a good nights sleep and have fun at school! â€ïžâ€ïž
Hey my lovely, really glad to hear you enjoyed 'Pretty Girls' đ„°
Ahh that's so exciting! I've set up a new email to keep my anonymity, I'd rather not post as an ask reply if possible as don't want everyone to have access to it đ So you may need to come off anon and send me a message so we can exchange.
Alternatively if you wanna remain anonymous too you can inbox me your email and I won't post the response so as not to dox you! Then I'll email you so you can send me the chapter.
Let me know ^_^
Popping in to say hi. You are still writing lovely stories. I did crash out over 'Relationships' , but I hope you know I crash out with love. No matter fluff or heartbreaking angst I have the best times reading your work.
Hi my Sweetie, so lovely to hear off you! I do love seeing your username appear in my notifs đ
LOL I live for the crash outs, it's totally fine đ Don't worry, I never take it personally â€ïž I knew some of y'all wouldn't be happy, I didn't realise it would be pretty much all of you đđ
Thanks for messaging my lovely, you're actually the sweetest â€ïž
Fic inspired by the song 'Pretty Girls' by Renee Rapp
[A/N] Turns out I'm not working this weekend after all (which is just as well 'cos I had no fics queued...), I'm working next weekend instead now đ„° Been listening to a lot of lesbian songs lately (and if anyone has any recommendations for my playlist please hit me up) and yeah, this song inspired me to write this fic so... Hope you enjoy! â€ïž
Itâs late when the knock on your door comes. You hesitate, waiting for her to knock a second time before slowly opening the door, acting like you hadnât known she was going to come around. Of course youâd known. Wasnât that why youâd changed into your decent underwear? And had an âeverything showerâ earlier that evening? In fact only twenty minutes ago youâd brushed your teeth, and Yelena mumbles something about the minty taste in between kisses.
It doesnât take long for you to both end up in your bed, your sheets freshly changed that morning. That was one of the first things youâd done when youâd heard Yelena was going out that night. Her nights out tended to follow similar patterns, all of them ending up with her in your bed. Eventually your kisses head downward, down her torso, across her thighs and then between her legs. Soon Yelena is moaning, her head tilting back as she gasps. Yelena is always quieter than you so when she has to bite her lip to suppress a particularly load moan you take that as a victory.
Next itâs your turn and Yelenaâs head dips between your thighs, and now itâs you whoâs gripping the clean bed sheets, whoâs moaning and whimpering beneath her touch. You orgasm and it feels so good, it always does when itâs Yelena, and then her head is laying next to yours, looking sleepy and adorable. Her hand reaches out to take yours and you press a kiss to her knuckles, smiling when she giggles. You only ever hear Yelena giggle when sheâs in your bed like this.
In the morning sheâs gone. Sheâs always gone before you. No matter what time you wake up, Yelena is always awake first and sneaks out, leaving you alone in the now cold bed. At first youâd wondered if she was waiting for you to fall asleep before heading back to her own room, so youâd waited until youâd heard the evening of her breath, signalling sheâd fallen asleep. Youâd tried to stay awake, to savour having her here with you, but inevitably youâd drifted off too. And then she was gone again. Like she had some kind of superpower.
At breakfast with the other New Avengers, Yelena always avoids your gaze, pretending it didnât happen. It had upset you the first time. For you it had been beautiful. Youâd known you preferred girls pretty much your entire life, but youâd never had a girlfriend. Your first kiss had been with a boy, back when all your friends were having their first kisses, and youâd wanted to fit in with them. It still made you cringe to remember the taste of his tongue in your mouth.
With Yelena, it was different. Every kiss and touch left you wanting more. Youâd been more open about your sexuality now you were older and if it were up to you, youâd make it official. Yelena would be your girlfriend. But the two of you never talk about your nights together. For a while youâd wondered if Yelena even remembered those nights, whether she was really too drunk until one day in training when youâd grabbed her wrist and her cheeks had immediately flushed. Sheâd yanked her arm out of your grip and quickly turned away, grumbling about wanting to work the punching bag now instead. Yelena remembered. She felt the chemistry too. Her denial just ran deep.
âI invited Kate round tonight,â Ava says. âI thought we could all play drinking games or something.â
âCount me out,â Bucky says.
âI figured as much. Everyone else will come though, right?â
John and Bob nod their easy agreement, and your eyes swivel to Yelena. Alexeiâs away visiting Melina for the next few days, so the only two left are you and Yelena. You havenât really drank that much with the rest of them. Itâs not that you dislike alcohol; you just donât really see the point. Sure, you donât mind a few drinks on a night out but theyâre few and far between in your line of work. Besides, itâs not like Yelena is going to-
âSure,â Yelena says. âSounds like fun.â
Ava turns to you and you find yourself nodding mutely. âPerfect. Iâll see you all in the common room at seven then?â
Everyone goes about their daily tasks, most heading towards training. As Yelena stands up you open your mouth to speak to her but she brushes past you, not even acknowledging you. Yelena always gets like this the morning after. After a few days she goes back to normal and starts talking to you again, but for a while she simply pretends that you donât exist. As if that will somehow push her feelings away.
One night youâd worked up the courage to ask her why she came to your room whenever she was drunk. Her response had been simple, âI wanted to kiss a pretty girl.â
Every time you remembered her words, it made your heart beat faster and your cheeks burn. You were her pretty girl. The one that she truly trusted with her sexuality. Everyone in the compound knew that you were gay but Yelena had never-
âWill you two please get it over with and just kiss already?â
Johnâs words jolt you out of your thoughts and your head snaps up. âWhat?â
He studies your expression for a moment before nodding thoughtfully, âOh I see. You already have, huh?â
âI- What? What are you talking about?â
âYou and Yelena. I mean, itâs kind of obvious.â
Sometimes it was easy to just think of John as the grumpy one in the group. It was only when you were out in the field, or moments like this, that you remembered he was chosen to be Captain America for a reason. He was more observant than you gave him credit for. You clear your throat, âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
John stares at you for a long moment before standing up from the table and nodding, âMy mistake then.â
As he leaves the room you realise heâs also more tactful than you give him credit for too. It makes you wonder though â if Johnâs caught on, how many of the others have? Are you the one giving away the secret? Are you making it obvious? You know Yelena would be so embarrassed if you outed her before she was ready, and you decide to try and be a bit more subtle. For her sake. Youâll both make it official when sheâs feeling more secure, when sheâs ready to tell everyone.
For the rest of the day you avoid the others, deciding that youâve earned a day off. You tidy up the common room ready for later, then retreat to your favourite spot by the window to read. The day passes peacefully though the closer seven oâclock comes, the more anxious you get.
Last time youâd drank with the others you and Yelena had barely made it back to your room. Youâd gone out to use the bathroom, and the moment you came out youâd found Yelena waiting for you. Before you could open your mouth, her lips had been against yours, her hand in yours, and youâd just about made it back to your room before she began to unbutton your pants. It had been lucky that no one had walked in on you. When the others had questioned your whereabouts the next day, Yelena had told everyone youâd had one too many and sheâd had to help you back to bed, which they seemed to accept.
At five you start getting ready, taking another long shower before dressing in something nicer than your day clothes. Itâs almost embarrassing how much you want to impress Yelena but she has such awesome taste in clothes. She always looks so good and well put together. You want her to think the same about you.
It takes you so long to pick an outfit that you end up in the common room thirty minutes late. Youâd taken out every item of your clothing, throwing them on your bed, debating the merits of all of them. Theyâd suddenly all seemed so babyish, so unlike the image you wanted to project. Finally youâd settled on something comfortable but that you thought Yelena might like. Everyone else is already seated, and the only spot left is in between John and Ava. Yelena sits opposite you, very close to Kate, you canât help but notice.
Kate isnât part of the New Avengers. Controversially, sheâs actually part of the Young Avengers, put together by Kamala Khan with the approval of Sam Wilson, and they acted alongside the Avengers. It was something youâd overheard Yelena teasing Kate about constantly, âThey count you as young? Seriously? Me and Y/N should swap too in that case.â
Kate is cool though and despite the copyright issues, and the whole âwho are the real Avengersâ issue; there have never been any hard feelings. Itâs just that your stomach flips over whenever you see her near Yelena in a way that it never does when Yelena is hanging out with Ava. Itâs just you being paranoid though. Because whose bed does Yelena end up in? Thereâs nothing to worry about.
Everyone pours a drink and you all clink glasses, cheering before Ava announces the first game. âTruth or dare,â She grins.
âIâm nowhere near drunk enough for that,â John complains. âWe should start with something easier like ânever have I everâ.â
âI didnât think you could even get drunk with the super soldier serum,â Bob says.
âHeâs right though, ânever have I everâ is a starting game,â Yelena says. âIâll go first. Never have I ever⊠Had a one-night stand.â
John, Ava and Bob all take a drink, and your heart feels lighter for the first time since you saw Yelena sitting next to Kate. If she doesnât consider what you guys do to be one-night stands then there must be feelings involved. It must be something deeper.
Kateâs up next and she thinks for a long moment before announcing, âNever have I ever used a fake ID.â
Yelena and Bob take a drink. Bob goes next, âNever have I ever⊠Been married.â
âThat feels targeted but okay,â John says, taking a drink.
The game continues for a few rounds until Ava announces that everyone should now be sufficiently drunk, therefore they can all start playing Truth or Dare. John rolls his eyes but doesnât complain this time, and the game begins with you. âTruth,â You answer without hesitation. No way are you risking a dare.
âWho was your first kiss with?â John asks.
âBoy named Henry in Middle School. It was disgusting and confirmed that I am, in fact, a lesbian.â
Everyone laughs and the game quickly moves on to Ava, who chooses dare and you dare her to recreate any TikTok dance. It turns out that Ava doesnât know any so after spending a full ten minutes looking through her phone she just rolls her eyes and says sheâll take a drink instead. Next up is Yelena who immediately chooses dare â youâre not surprised.
âOkay,â Ava says with a wicked smile. âI dare you⊠To kiss the prettiest girl in the room.â
You raise your eye-brows, giving a nervous laugh as you glance at Yelena, âGive her a different one, thatâs not fair.â
âItâs fine, Iâll do it,â Yelena says in a breezy voice.
Yelena reaches over slowly, brushing her fingers over Avaâs cheek and then tucking a strand of Avaâs hair behind her ear. Your heart pounds fast in your chest as Yelena leans closer, her lips almost touching Avaâs when she suddenly pulls back with a cocky grin. Of course she wouldnât pick Ava, not when you were sat right there. Youâd been paranoid to think otherwise.
Yelena moves to sit in front of you and you try to keep your expression neutral though your heart starts pounding again, your hands turn sweaty and you canât meet anyoneâs gaze. Yelenaâs hand cups your cheek and her face moves in front of yours, and itâs really going to happen, sheâs finally going to kiss you in front of everyone-
You hear her laugh and when you look up her hand has already moved away from your cheek as she turns to face Kate this time. What is she doing? Why is she dragging this out so much? Yelenaâs hand cups Kateâs cheek now, her thumb tracing over Kateâs bottom lip before Yelena suddenly leans forward and kisses her.
Yelena kisses Kate. Right in front of everybody.
Itâs not even a light peck that lasts less than a second; itâs a proper kiss that to you seems to go on for a lifetime before eventually Yelena pulls away, grinning as she moves to sit back in her spot. She doesnât even glance in your direction as she announces, âOkay Kate itâs your turn. Truth or Dare?â
âUh I pick-â
Youâre on your feet before Kate can even answer, tears streaming down your cheeks. Alcohol always makes you feel everything so intensely. Youâre pretty emotional anyway, always wearing your heart on your sleeve, but alcohol makes it so much worse. You bite your knuckles to try and suppress your sobs, not wanting the others to see. If you can just get to your room-
âY/N!â
A voice calls out to you but itâs not Yelenaâs. Of course itâs not Yelenaâs; youâre not even her pretty girl, just one pretty girl amongst many, nothing special-
âY/N.â Itâs John and he puts his hand on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you when you turn to cry into his chest.
âDid you know she was going to do that?â
âNo, I donât think anybody did. Maybe even Yelena didnât.â
âHow could she do that to me?â You sob. âAfter everything-â
âI donât know everything that went down between you and Yelena, and you donât have to tell me, but letâs not think about that right now. Letâs go sit somewhere, just you and me, okay?â
âY/N.â
Itâs a female voice that you recognise immediately but you bury your face in Johnâs chest, not wanting to look at her smug face. Kate isnât deterred, âHey, is everything okay?â
âI think she needs some space right now,â John says.
âDo you want me to get Yelena?â
âNo!â You cry.
âNo, I think thatâs a bad idea,â John says. âYou head back, Iâll look after Y/N.â
âAre you sure?â
âYeah, sheâs in good hands, I promise.â
You finally lift your head from Johnâs chest to meet Kateâs gaze. Thereâs no smugness there, just sympathy. âYouâre not special,â you want to snap, but whatâs the point? It was Kate whoâd been chosen as the prettiest girl in the room. You werenât the one Yelena had kissed.
Kate heads back to the common room whilst John takes you through to the small meeting room with the large windows, another one of your favourite spots in the Tower for looking at the city. New York is still bustling and you look outside, wondering how many other girls are as heartbroken as you right now.
John is a gentleman, sitting quietly with you as you cry, listening patiently as you go over the same questions again and again, his hand running steadily up and down your back. Youâre not sure how long you both sit there but it mustâve been hours. John doesnât rush you or give any indication that he has somewhere else to be. âIâm sorry,â You sniffle.
âDonât be,â John says. âI have a younger sister, sheâs called- Never mind. Anyway, you remind me of her. Iâd want someone to sit with her if she was this upset.â
âI donât want to be a burden.â
âYouâre not, youâre my Avengers sister,â John says. âIâll always look out for you.â
âWhy did she do that, John?â You ask even though youâve already asked it a dozen times already. âWhy wouldnât she just kiss me?â
âI donât know,â He repeats. âI think Yelena is amazing but I get the feeling you never really get beneath the surface with her.â
âI thought I had,â You mumble. âI thought I was special.â
âY/N⊠You are special. And really pretty. Yelena was crazy not to kiss you.â
âKateâs pretty too though.â
âOf course she is. And so is Ava. Any one of you couldâve been kissed but given everything going on between you and Yelena, she either shouldâve kissed you or not completed the dare.â
âMaybe she didnât want to be outed in front of everyone,â You suggest tearfully.
âMaybe,â John says gently. âI guess the only person who truly knows is Yelena.â
Eventually exhaustion catches up with you and John walks you back to your room, ruffling your hair and reminding you that his room is just down the hall if you need him. For the first time youâre seeing him in a completely different light and youâre grateful that if anything came out of this itâs your âAvengers big brotherâ.
Youâve just changed into your pyjamas and wiped off your now ruined make-up when the door knocks. For a moment you think itâs John, come back to check on you one more time or bring you some water or something. Youâre almost gobsmacked to find Yelena waiting there, propped up against the doorframe, just like any other night when sheâs had a few drinks.
âYelena-â
Before you know it her arms are around your waist and she presses a kiss to your lips. âThose pyjamas are so cute,â She mumbles between kisses. âYou look so pretty.â
It wouldâve been so easy to melt into the kisses. To forget about the hurt, the betrayal, to let her love you, to let her make you feel good. But that comment shattered any spell she couldâve placed you under and you pull yourself out of her embrace, âNot pretty enough apparently.â
Yelena grins and reaches out for you again, her expression faltering when you take another step back, âWhat do you mean?â
âAre you serious? You actually donât know why Iâm upset?â
Yelena hesitates, her eyes searching yours, looking genuinely confused. Finally she sighs, âNo⊠No, donât tell me this is about the game-â
âAre you kidding me? You embarrassed me, in front of everyone-â
âHow did I embarrass you?â
âYou didnât kiss me!â
âI didnât kiss Ava either but she didnât storm off in a flood of tears.â
âAvaâs not the one youâre paying late night visits to!â
Yelena groans, âI knew youâd get like this.â
âGet like what?â
âItâs not⊠This isnât serious, Y/N. I thought you knew that. Why do you think I sneak out before you wake up? I just want some fun when- I mean, itâs fun, right? We have fun, donât we?â
âEven if weâre just friends with benefits, you still shouldâve kissed me. Itâs not like you do this with Kate so you shouldâve-â You pause. Yelena doesnât say anything and thatâs when the penny drops. âYou⊠Youâve been messing around with Kate.â
âY/N-â
âBehind my back.â
âIt was not behind your back, it just wasnât something I really advertised. God, I mean⊠Itâs not like weâre dating.â
âI just assumed that was because you werenât so open about the fact you were gay, Yelena. It⊠I always thought it meant something more than just sex. I always thought-â
That it was just you. That you were special. That Yelena loved you.
âLetâs not do this,â Yelena says. âLetâs just⊠Come on, I just wanted to kiss you.â
âWhy? Has Kate gone home for the night?â
âDonât be like this, please donât be like this. Iâm sorry I kissed Kate, okay? It didnât mean anything, it was just a dumb game.â
âYou think sheâs prettier than me, you prefer her to me, youâve been messing around with her and I had to find out from a stupid game of Truth or Dare!â
âI donât- For Godâs- Youâre both just as pretty as each other, okay? But I wanted to wind up Ava and so I decided to carry on down the line to really sell it. It doesnât mean that I like Kate more. One of you had to be left out.â
âAre you even sorry, Yelena?â You ask. âBecause Iâm hearing a lot of excuses and not a lot of apologies.â
âIâm sorry that youâre upset, yes, but I donât think I did anything wrong! If you created some fantasy in your head that this is more than just sex then I donât know what to say.â
âSo you just⊠Donât care about me? At all?â
âI never- For Godâs- Obviously I care about you! I care about everyone in this tower, all of you.â
âForgive me for thinking that those late nights actually meant something. That I meant something to you.â
Yelena shakes her head, and then shrugs. Usually sheâs pretty drunk when sheâs in your room but you get the impression now that sheâs more alert than sheâs letting on. Eventually she holds her hands up, âYou knew I was drunk when I came here. What does that say about you?â
You open and close your mouth several times before hissing, âDonât you dare try and imply I was taking advantage of you, Lena.â
âStop acting like I owe you something Y/N. You knew what this was.â Yelena rolls her shoulders back, stretches and then groans. âIâm going to bed.â
âJust like that?â You ask quietly.
âIâm tired and honestly Iâm getting a headache.â
Yelena doesnât move and you wonder what sheâs waiting for. Your heart pounds as you meet her gaze, neither of you moving or saying anything. Seconds go by, maybe even minutes, as you both just stare at each other. Itâs Yelena who caves first as she nods, silently leaving your room and closing the door quietly behind her.
You climb into your bed, pulling the duvet over your head and you start crying again. Had Yelena really been in this bed with you just twenty-four hours beforehand? If only you had known it would be the last time. Your tears are those of hurt and grief â you will never share another intimate moment with Yelena again. Part of you knows sheâs right. That sheâd never implied this was anything more than sex. Youâd let yourself believe you were special, that you meant something more to her. Either way, you canât forgive her for not telling you about Kate. For kissing Kate instead of you in that stupid game.
The next morning Yelena acts as if nothing happened. Despite the awkward atmosphere in the kitchen, Yelena eats her breakfast in her usual nonchalant manner. Ava gives you glances across the table, trying to figure out what upset you so much last night whilst Bucky seems none the wiser, having not been clued in to your tears or the games that took place last night. Youâre not sure what to do with yourself once youâve finished eating when John taps your shoulder, âHey. Wanna train with me today?â
You nod, grateful for his discretion. Youâre slightly less grateful when you begin the military workout he puts together for you, but you know heâs only trying to keep you distracted. And it works wonders. Once youâre both done for the day he suggests the two of you go out for dinner, and you readily agree, especially when you overhear that Yelenaâs going out for a few drinks.
John takes you to a sports bar across town. Not really your scene but he does pay for the food which is a bonus. Afterwards instead of going straight home he suggests that the two of you go bowling, another perfect distraction. Itâs difficult to bowl with how much your limbs are aching but again, he pays and you nudge his arm on the way home, âI could get used to having a big brother.â He grins back at you.
That night you change into your pyjamas and climb into bed. Youâve just settled down when you hear a knock at your bedroom door. For a moment you sit in silence before reaching over, flicking your bedside lamp off and pulling the covers up to your chin. Thereâs another knock at the door, quieter this time. You hold your breath and listen. After a long moments silence you eventually hear footsteps disappearing down the hallway.
You take a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling before closing your eyes and going to sleep.
i will patiently wait until you open your requests again so i can send an alternative ending for this.
NO WAY I'LL ACCEPT THAT MOTHERFUCKING APOLOGY?!?!?!?
â đ€
I HAVE SEEN THE FEEDBACK, I GET IT, Y'ALL DIDN'T LIKE THE ENDING, I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOORRY đđ
I'm very much looking forward to hearing your ideas my lovely đ I have already considered an alt 'reader doesn't forgive them' ending based on the feedback already but we'll see! If I don't get round to it, I'm looking forward to receiving your request đ„°
I did wonder at the time whether to make reader not forgive them but decided to put them together, I'm soooooooorry everyone! đ
its about stucky& teen reader where reader is struggling with a smoking addiction and they dont tell steve or bucky and they just find out on their own? (with a little bit of angst and fluff, but its up to you! thank you if u see thisđ€)
Addict
Dad!Stucky & Teen!Reader
[A/N] Happy Friday everyone, this week seems to have gone much quicker with Bank Holiday Monday â€ïž I am working this weekend đ Does anyone else have any fun plans? Thanks for this request my sweetie, hope you enjoy đ
You reach into your backpack, pulling out a can of deodorant and quickly spray it all over your body. Youâre a little sweaty from the walk home but thatâs not the main reason you need so much deodorant - you want to try and keep the stench of cigarettes from your clothes. It was advice that your best friend had given you but it wasnât like they had super soldiers for parents. You needed an even more generous amount of deodorant if you wanted to have a chance in Hell of hiding the stench from your Dadsâ.
Evenings and weekends are always long now. Itâs easier to find a quiet place at school to smoke but at home, thereâs no chance of you getting away with smoking a cigarette in the tiny apartment your Dadsâ rent, theyâd sniff you out like bloodhounds. Sometimes you can get away with saying you want to stretch your legs, and you can sneak one whilst walking around the block. If your Dadsâ realise that they need anything from the store youâll quickly volunteer to go fetch it, just so you can sneak a cigarette on the walk over. Itâs a lot of mental gymnastics for something you didnât really want to do in the first place.
Your Dadsâ, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, have always been strict â soldiers raised in the 1930âs do tend to be like that. Since youâd started High School youâd struggled with their strict code though. You loved them both but they werenât willing to let you take any risks or figure things out for yourself. Your curfew was way earlier than the rest of your friends, and it was an absolute no to any parties. Which is why youâd told them a little fib a few months ago, and had asked if you could stop at a friendâs house. And you had spent the night there â when youâd both got back from a party.
One of your classmatesâ parents were away so theyâd thrown a teen party, and youâd told yourself youâd be sensible. It hadnât exactly gone the way youâd thought though, and you and your best friend had drank far more than youâd intended. When someone had offered you a cigarette youâd initially said no, but then someone had sneered, âY/N? No way, theyâre a goodie two shoes.â
That wasnât the reputation you wanted to leave school with. So youâd accepted, joining in with the laughter when youâd coughed and spluttered after your first drag. By the time youâd finished it though it was far easier. Youâd accepted another one, and then another one. After the party, youâd assumed that was that - you wouldnât smoke again. Until youâd found you were struggling to concentrate because all you wanted was another nicotine hit. Youâd thought youâd need to smoke far more to get an addiction but three cigarettes at a dumb party was all it had taken.
Someone at school with a fake ID gets you the cigarettes, selling them on to you for a higher price. It takes up all of your allowance but you donât have much of a choice. Smoking wasnât something youâd wanted to start up but giving them up now felt impossible. One of the worst parts was sneaking around and hiding it from your Dadsâ. Every time you snuck a cigarette you felt like youâd proved them right. Youâd gone to just one party and now you were addicted to the stupid things.
âHey kid,â Steve calls out when he hears you let yourself in. âHow was school?â
âFine,â You call back, kicking off your shoes, hoping to head straight to your room.
âGot any homework?â
âSome.â
You hear him getting up from the couch and groan internally. Shouldnât have kept it so vague, your parents are not put off by lack of details, they always want to know more. Sure enough, Steve appears in the hallway, his arms folded, âWhatâs âsomeâ?â
âI got a History paper due on Friday then just some simple Maths equations for tomorrow. Iâll get it done.â
Steve doesnât say anything for a long moment and you avoid his gaze, hoping that you used enough deodorant. Youâre worried youâve already grown ânose blindâ to the cigarette smoke, and with your Dadâs super soldier senses⊠Eventually Steve nods, âDonât leave that paper to the last minute. Get a head start on it.â
âYeah, Iâve got my opening paragraph and most of the source references, I just need to⊠Actually put it together.â
âDo you want any help?â
âIâll be okay. Thanks though.â
Steve nods, looking you up and down for a moment, âIs everything okay kiddo?â
You swallow hard, wiping your hands on your jeans, âYeah. Everythingâs fine.â
âYou sure? You seem a little distant lately. Your Dad and I are getting a bit worried-â
âThereâs really nothing to worry about-â
âItâs just⊠You know weâd help you, right? If you needed it.â Steve unfolds his arms to run his fingers through his hair, fixing you with that look. The look that makes you feel like he can see right through you and knows all of your secrets. âI know youâre growing up but you donât have to fix everything on your own.â
After a momentâs hesitation you wipe your hands on your jeans again and nod, âEverythingâs fine Papa. Really.â
Steve looks at you again for a long moment before sighing, âOkay. Dinner will be ready at six.â
Now youâve been officially dismissed, you dart to your room and try to focus on your homework. Your Dadsâ had raised you to work on your homework the night it was set so that it didnât all get on top of you, something that you still took seriously now. Trying to focus on your History paper turns out to be harder than you thought, and you find your fingers tapping agitatedly against your desk. You havenât had a cigarette since lunch. You only have a couple left in the pack, and you need to make them last but youâre desperate for another one. Eventually you close your laptop and try to focus on your equations instead but itâs hard to concentrate.
Your eye prickle with frustrated tears. You canât honestly say that you like smoking and now it feels like itâs taking over your life. Eventually you canât even focus on the equations or the paper or anything else so you get up, pacing restlessly back and forth, rubbing your hands against your jeans. By the time Bucky calls you through for dinner youâre feeling wound up and stressed, unable to stop your agitated fidgeting.
Itâs spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread for dinner, one of your favourites, but youâre too wound up to enjoy it. Your Dadsâ insist that the three of you eat at the table to eat, even though the kitchen in your apartment is tiny, and barely fits the small table and chairs. Youâd told them it would be a better use of space to just get trays and all of you sit on the couches in front of the TV to eat, but theyâd told you in no uncertain terms that dinnertime was family time. Every meal was to be had at the table, except for Sunday mornings when they let you eat your breakfast in the living room whilst you watched cartoons.
âHow are you getting on with your History paper, Y/N?â Steve asks.
âFine.â
âHistory paper, huh?â Bucky asks. âWhat have they got you writing about?â
âFrench Revolution.â
âAh, âlet them eat cakeâ and all that,â Bucky says. âDo you want any help?â
âPapa already offered. Iâm fine.â
âHow was school today?â Steve asks. âHave they posted volleyball tryouts yet?â
âI donât think Iâm gonna go for volleyball this year.â
âOh?â Bucky asks. âWhy not?â
âJust not feeling it.â
âYou gonna pick something else then?â Steve asks you. âYou know we like you to do at least one sport-â
âI donât know!â You snap loudly. âWill you get off my back? Iâm just trying to eat!â
Steve and Bucky glance at each other and you wait for the inevitable lecture on being rude. Neither of them says anything as they continue eating but you see the look on their faces which makes you feel even worse than if theyâd just yelled at you. Maybe your Dadâs are a little strict, but youâve always been close to them and you donât want to hurt their feelings. Now youâre snapping at them just because youâre craving a stupid cigarette?
You tap your fingers against the table and whisper, âIâm sorry.â
Bucky reaches over to put his hand on your shoulder, âKid, is there anything you wanna tell us?â
Your throat dries up and you look down the table, torn between wanting to be honest with them and not wanting to be grounded for the rest of your life. Steve glances at Bucky again before looking back at you, âMaybe it would help if we gave you this.â
You wait at the table as Steve heads out of the room, Buckyâs gaze boring into you. It takes a couple of minutes whilst you and Bucky sit in silence until Steve returns, placing a pack of nicotine gum in front of you. Oh. Theyâd figured it out - of course they had. Youâd been stupid to think you could get anything past your military Dadsâ.
You open and close your mouth a few times before eventually mumbling, âI⊠Iâm sorry.â
âWhy didnât you tell us?â Steve asks.
âBecause I didnât want to get into trouble and I- Please stop looking at me like that, itâs making me feel awful.â
You burst into tears and Bucky sighs, unable to help pulling you into his lap and wrapping his strong arms around you. He might be disappointed but youâre still his kid, and he kisses the top of your head. âYou really thought that some deodorant would cover up the stench of the cigarettes?â
You sniffle, burying your face in his shoulder, âIâm really sorry. I hate them, I want to quit but itâs so hard and now Iâm being mean to you both and it- It-â
âWhat made you even start in the first place?â
You tell them about the party and the comment that the other kid had made, and how youâd had so much to drink that youâd kept accepting the cigarettes that had been handed to you. Steve looks so disappointed that it makes you cry harder. âIâm really sorry!â
âOkay,â Steve says in that commanding voice, the one that you know means itâs time to shut up and listen. âTell us where youâve been getting the cigarettes.â
âGuy at school sells them to me. It takes up all my allowance.â
âOkay.â Steve sighs, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. âFrom now on, youâre not taking your allowance to school. Or any money actually, it stays home with us. If you donât have any money on you then you canât buy the cigarettes. How many do you have left?â
âOnly two.â
âWeâre gonna get rid of them.â
âBut-â
âNo âbutâ Y/N, you know we donât mess around when it comes to your health,â Steve says firmly whilst Bucky tucks your head beneath his chin, his hand rubbing comfortingly up and down your back. âIf you need anything⊠The gum, patches, whatever, me and Dad will buy them for you.â
âYou should try out for the volleyball team again,â Bucky says. âYou need an outlet. Something to keep your mind off the cravings.â
âIf youâre struggling with it then tell us,â Steve says. âAnd weâll do what we can to help you.â
âAm I grounded?â You sob.
Steve sighs, âWeâre not thrilled about the party. But no, youâre not grounded.â
âYou can do the dishes every night for the next two weeks though,â Bucky says. âConsider it an outlet until the cravings pass.â
âAnd no using the dishwasher,â Steve says. âGotta keep those hands busy.â
Despite how disappointed they are in you, you canât help feeling relieved that the burden is finally lifted from your shoulders. If your Dadsâ take the cigarettes away from you, thereâs nothing you can do. The decision has finally been taken away from you, the burden shared⊠You slump in Buckyâs arms with an almost relieved sigh. âI really am sorry.â
âWe know youâre getting older and you want to try new things,â Bucky says, âBut we need you to do that reasonably.â
âNo more hiding things from us,â Steve says. âIf youâre struggling with something then we want you to tell us. Not bottle it up because youâre worried youâre going to get into trouble.â
âWe love you,â Bucky says, âAlways have, always will. No matter what.â
You relax a little, relieved that they donât seem too angry with you. Their disappointed expressions have morphed into loving ones and Bucky presses another kiss to the top of our head. You feel hopeful too â with their help, you know youâll be able to shift the addiction. Maybe it will take time - you still crave a cigarette but now you at least have the gum. And two Dadsâ whoâll be there for you every step of the way.
Honestly I think the best thing to do is have a break for a little while if you're feeling burnt out â€ïž Writing is fun until it literally isn't, and like I said, there's no point in staring at that blank screen.
Take time to recover and do other things that you enjoy, I'm sure you'll soon find that creative spark again đ
Sorry to hear you're so burnt out though, that honestly sucks đ My only advice is to focus on other things that you enjoy that help you relax and destress. For example last night I played 'Tiny Bookshop' on my Switch for the first time, I loved it so much â€ïž It's one of those cozy games I know I'll binge for like a month straight and then suddenly get bored of but I'm enjoying it right now đ
Push the writing aside and focus on something else - it will come back!