DRIVERS DNI

18+ // any pronouns // See pinned post 🚸🚶 I ♡ walking 🚶🚸

[marxist-pedestrian]

INTRO POST

Who am I?

My name is fucking Walker, okay? I made this blog to expose the fake pedestrians that DON'T walk among us. Be warned, I block sparingly. The real problem with liberals nowadays is that they're too scared to take a stance on pedestrianism. I AM THE SOLUTION!!!

DNI

DRIVERS: You "people" are the scum of the fucking Earth. You will never be redeemed in the pedestrian's paradise. Every day I see one of "you" fuckers tearing through the crosswalk with absolutely ZERO regard for my pedestrian siblings. Drivers and other car users will be blocked on sight.

New Yorkers: I don't CARE if your city is "walkable." Your way of life is inherently pedestrianphobic. Don't even get me started on New York Italians. "I'm walking here" is a microaggression.

Sailors: Don't think you're excused for traveling the sea. If you were REAL pedestrians, you would lobby for the construction of trans-continental walkways.

Pilots: Arguably worse than sailors. Why are you flying there? Just walk.

Electric scooter users: Get the fuck off my sidewalk. Your degenerate little machines belong in the road with the other metal pieces of shit. My weenus is STILL recovering from that one time I got hit.

Skateboarders: Almost as bad as electric scooter users. You have feet, why are you using wheels like a DRIVER 🤢

NASCAR/F1 fans: First of all, don't call your little activities a sport. Speedwalking is the only true sport. Secondly, your drivers normalize pedestrianphobia. Fuck you.

Superman: Why are you flying everywhere? If you're really as invested in "truth, justice, and a perambulator tomorrow" as you say, you would walk everywhere.

First responders: I don't want you to be a first responder if you're DRIVING. The most honorable thing you can do is be a last responder and walk to the scene. I refuse any medical help that arrives on wheels. To make for a more equitable pedestrian world, I am studying to become the world's first last responder.

Bus drivers, specifically YOU, SCOOTER WALKS: Your last name is an appropriation of pedestrian culture. Not only that, but last week you nearly hit me with your shithead barf-green bus. Why do you fucking hate pedestrians you self-centered piece of shit. I will NOT be using the phone number that you gave me.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Sorry for the inactivity guys, walking home for spring break took longer than I expected.

[marxist-pedestrian]

WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG

[marxist-pedestrian]

We as a fandom need to write more platonic Superman x reader. I don’t want to do anything with Superman that is my FATHER FIGURE.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Listened to Drunk Walk Home by Mitski today. What is this song even about?? I was excited when I saw walk in the title only to be severely disappointed by the lack of any pedestrian activities. This just goes to show you how normalized pedestrian appropriation has become in our culture. Smh this is what I get for trusting a mainstream artist

[marxist-pedestrian]

What do you think of roller skates? Is that assisted walking, or a car for your feet?

Roller skaters CANNOT claim the pedestrian microlabel. You cannot be a pedestrian and use wheels of any kind. Pedestrians are uninterested in vehicular transport by definition, so use of any machines that bear their likeness is inherently anti-pedestrian.

That being said, roller skaters have a documented history of violence towards pedestrians due to their innate inability to share the sidewalk. If you use roller skates, FUCK YOU

[marxist-pedestrian]

Can you add a page break to your pinned post? It's long as hell, I'm trying to read about pedestrianism not your DNI over and over again

Just added a page break! Thank you for pointing this out.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Nice name, Walker. Did you choose it yourself?

No, I did not. You see, what you people cannot understand is that my mother was a pedestrian like me. When I came out she bestowed upon me the name shared by her father, his father, and his father before him. My mother has entrusted me with a very important legacy in the form of the name Walker. Don’t you DARE insult it

[inkmage13]

Me: *walks miles every day, climbs stairs, does vigorous exercise*

My disabled body that I've worked hard to make strong: Ok

Me: *stands in place for more than 5 seconds*

My piece of shit disabled body with horrible hips and knees: Not Allowed, Beam of Neuromuscular Pain

[marxist-pedestrian]

I really admire your commitment to walking even though your disability makes it difficult. Your use of stairs puts on thin ice though. Escalators are NOT welcome in the pedestrian's paradise

[inkmage13]

Stairs aren't escalators, though. Stairs are a static structure you walk up. Does walking up a hill count as taking an elevator because you're going up?

Or is it the man-made nature of stairs that perturbs you? What about the less offensive stone or wood stairs put in forests for hikers to use?

Are ramps also on thin ice because a conveyor belt can be a ramp??

Your sick and twisted psyche intrigues me.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Stairs are a deeply problematic modification that seek to destroy the pedestrian's stride. Strides are an integral part of the pedestrian identity because they are the foundation of perambulation; therefore, any attempt to interrupt a stride is inherently pedestrianphobic.

Changing the material of the stair does NOT negate the nature of this offense. Your assumption that using stone or wood is better demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of the pedestrian identity that, quite frankly, reads as a microaggression.

Hills and ramps are fine because they do not disrupt the natural stride.

Also, how dare you call me "sick" and "twisted." Demonization of pedestrians is a MASSIVE problem in our current political landscape and is part of why verbal and physical violence against pedestrians is so normalized. Shame on you.

[inkmage13]

How do you go to the upper floor of a building if stairs, escalators, and elevators are all unacceptable?

[marxist-pedestrian]

I don't.

[inkmage13]

Me: *walks miles every day, climbs stairs, does vigorous exercise*

My disabled body that I've worked hard to make strong: Ok

Me: *stands in place for more than 5 seconds*

My piece of shit disabled body with horrible hips and knees: Not Allowed, Beam of Neuromuscular Pain

[marxist-pedestrian]

I really admire your commitment to walking even though your disability makes it difficult. Your use of stairs puts on thin ice though. Escalators are NOT welcome in the pedestrian's paradise

[inkmage13]

Stairs aren't escalators, though. Stairs are a static structure you walk up. Does walking up a hill count as taking an elevator because you're going up?

Or is it the man-made nature of stairs that perturbs you? What about the less offensive stone or wood stairs put in forests for hikers to use?

Are ramps also on thin ice because a conveyor belt can be a ramp??

Your sick and twisted psyche intrigues me.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Stairs are a deeply problematic modification that seek to destroy the pedestrian's stride. Strides are an integral part of the pedestrian identity because they are the foundation of perambulation; therefore, any attempt to interrupt a stride is inherently pedestrianphobic.

Changing the material of the stair does NOT negate the nature of this offense. Your assumption that using stone or wood is better demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of the pedestrian identity that, quite frankly, reads as a microaggression.

Hills and ramps are fine because they do not disrupt the natural stride.

Also, how dare you call me "sick" and "twisted." Demonization of pedestrians is a MASSIVE problem in our current political landscape and is part of why verbal and physical violence against pedestrians is so normalized. Shame on you.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Saw another group of people running today. You’re NOT supposed to do that. It’s called a sideWALK not a sideRUN. Fucking scooters.

[marxist-pedestrian]

Saw your posts about disabled people. How do you feel about disabled people who cant walk. Wheelchair bound folk?

Wheelchair bound folk cannot claim the pedestrian microlabel. If you use wheels of any kind you are not a true perambulator.

[inkmage13]

Me: *walks miles every day, climbs stairs, does vigorous exercise*

My disabled body that I've worked hard to make strong: Ok

Me: *stands in place for more than 5 seconds*

My piece of shit disabled body with horrible hips and knees: Not Allowed, Beam of Neuromuscular Pain

[marxist-pedestrian]

I really admire your commitment to walking even though your disability makes it difficult. Your use of stairs puts on thin ice though. Escalators are NOT welcome in the pedestrian's paradise