Fornication @marxten - Tumblr Blog

Got tagged by @katsuricata some time ago

Rules: We’re snooping on your playlist. Set your entire music library on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up, then choose 10 victims.

(Victims? Sounds nasty....)

1. Tell Me Why - Three Days Grace

2. Rebecca - Against Me!

3. Higher On Fire - Dream Evil

4. Burn It Down - AWOLNATION

5. Jaw Knee Music - NOFX

6. Deuxième Vie - Sidilarsen (y’all who are still here should check out this band)

7. How Does It Feel - Avril Lavigne

8. You Not Me - Dream Theater

9. Move Your Body - Blessed By A Broken Heart

10. 6 Ft Of Anger - Corroded (Although 5,6 feet of anger would be more accurate)

captainlordauditor

da2 is what happens when you get a bunch of dnd characters and then don’t really give them a campaign you just toss them into a city to live there and have Shenanigans.

“I’m playing a elven blood mage.” “yeah, okay, what’s she doing in a human city?” “research.”

“I’m playing a dwarven bard.” “….and?” “just a dwarven bard.” “is he, like, a spy, a wandering adventure, what? why’s he away from the mountain?” “fuck if i know.”

captainlordauditor

“My character is a cleric to the god of justice who’s become disillusioned with the established orders of priests and wants to destroy them and start again. His name is Anders.” “Is he from the anderfels?” “No, of course not. He’s Ferelden.”

you-need-a-ladder

“My character is an elf. His name is Fenris.” “Okay… is he a mage? Does he like… transform into a wolf?” “No, he’s a warrior! He USED to be a slave to a mage, and as a result hates all magic.” “Fine. Roll for strength.” “He can use magic to rip people’s hearts out.” “What.” “His owner put magic ore in his veins and now he can use a magic punch.” “…” “…” “Why would he-” “Also he’s in love with a mage.”

captainlordauditor

“Is hawke hot?”

“Oh, Hawke is super hot.”

[rolls a charisma saving throw against the hot mage and fails] “SHIT”

mikkeneko

Meanwhile Aveline’s just over here gritting her teeth because she spent three hours on her backstory carefully crafted to intertwine with the recent game lore (Ostagar) and her tragic dead husband (Wesley) and nobody else even seems interested

gotouda

orcs are sexy, big and theyll hold me through the night. elves are selfish materialistic twinks who eat dirt.

I've decided to take a little break from tumblr the coming weeks. Of course I'll still be available at twitter, discord, Skype or Facebook

seihar

Blood Lotus.

diary-of-a-chinese-kid

I think I’m Wendy’s

johtopride

Dis bitch taco bell as fuck

whatthehellgoinon

i’m taco bell as fuck and @mrosegirl you’re mcdonald’s, yes i did just call you out, i love you

technically-tori-archive

Wendys

#Denny's/McDonalds

finland-is-cooler-than-you-blog

Reason 55 why FInland is cooler than you: We accidentally built a lighthouse on Sweden’s side of an island, so we just changed the border.

homunculus-argument

I’m actually really curious about the discussion that went down when this happened. Like, imagine a phone ringing:

“Hello? This is Sweden.”

“Uhh… Well, this is Finland. We’ve kind of got a problem.”

“What kind of a problem?”

“Well, there’s this lighthouse. We bult it on this island we thought was 100% ours, but it turns out that, like, half of it is on your side. And it’s the half that we built the lighthouse on.”

“Oh, dear, that sounds terribly unfortunate! (internally wondering whether literally every single finn involved with the entire building project was drunk when it happened) How would you think we can resolve this issue?”

“Can we, like, keep it? There’s good money in building a lighthouse. It’s sorta important.”

“Uhh (taking a glance at the guidelines) how about we trade the plot of land for an equal plot of land on the swedish side? Like, maybe on the same island.”

“Oh, ok, that sounds good. A great option.”

“So we have an agreement? That’s wonderful.”

“Well,, have a good day, I guess.”

“Good day! Pleasure doing business with you.”

finland-is-cooler-than-you-blog

So I some more reading on this and it turns out the whole thing is the Russians fault.

https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/one-island-two-countries/?_r=0

“And yet the name and function of Market Island is intimately interwoven with the Swedish-Finnish border (perhaps because the island isn’t much older than that border: Market probably only emerged from the waves in the 16th century. The 1809 Treaty of Frederikshamn, which confirmed Sweden’s loss of Finland to Russia in the so-called Finnish War, also granted Moscow the strategic Aland archipelago, between Stockholm and the Finnish mainland. By sheer coincidence, as drawn by the treaty’s authors the border, halfway between the coasts of Aland and Sweden, ran straight through Market. Which is when and how it got its name.

In 1885, the Russians erected a lighthouse on the island to aid shipping in the surrounding, treacherously shallow waters. Whether by design or accident, the structure was built on the western, Swedish side of the island. But if the Swedes knew, they kept shtum about it, probably still reeling from what happened the previous time they tangoed with the Russian bear.

The de facto border violation continued after Finland’s independence in 1917, and was only resolved in 1981. The solution was ingenious: rather than transfer sovereignty over the lighthouse to Sweden, or physically move it to the Finnish side, the island’s border itself was modified.

Two conditions needed to be met. The sea border was not to change, so as to safeguard existing fishing rights; and each country should retain a similar-sized share of the island. The result was a complicated land swap, leaving the formerly straight border Z-shaped. The lighthouse is now on the Finnish side, in a new bit of Finland west of the former border. Next to it is a companion chunk of Sweden, east of the original line.

Strangely, no border markers actually mark the border on Market: a series of 10 holes drilled into the rock are all that indicate its twists and turns. That’s because anything less sturdy would soon be eaten up by the frequent storms and inclement winter weather. The weather and sea are so powerful that the island’s very shape is subject to significant change. Every 25 years, a bi-national commission will survey the island and effect any border changes that might prove necessary.

The lighthouse has been automated since 1977, and in its uninhabited state had degraded quite severely, until the Finnish Lighthouse Society invaded the island in 2006. It has since been carrying out restoration work (and guided visits) every summer.”

finland-is-cooler-than-you-blog

And here’s a nice picture of the lighthouse in question.

silentmania-deactivated20191108

The lighthouse Finns invaded

finland-is-cooler-than-you-blog

antidevelopment

This is, without a doubt, the most perfect badger photo I have ever seen.

bob-belcher

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major

culturenlifestyle

Mayor Cuts Down Man’s 30-Year-Old Majestic Tree, His Revenge Is Awesome

This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.

His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.

Credits: GoblinsStoleMyHouse

monstergirlsexamination

This is druidic as fuck

sifu-kisu

dateamonster

original theory: succubi are always women, incubi are always men

facts: in fact succubus comes from the latin word “succubare” which means “to lie under” and incubus comes from the latin word “incubare” which means “to lie on”

new improved theory: incubi are always tops and succubi are always bottoms. gender doesn’t matter at all.