She was a woman born into a man’s world. Literally, figuratively. Ironically. In her world, she was the only daughter of Alastor and Maria McKinnon. She was the youngest, the most fragile. Titles bestowed onto her head before she could’ve fought them, before she could’ve decided what she wanted to be called, what she wanted to be seen as. Marlene was not meant to be some soft flower, some rosebush you could trample across as you walked along a field. She was fire, she was light. She was rage and anger, and it spurned from the natural disaster that was being a McKinnon. When she’d told the girls, it felt like the burden was gone. But when it came back, in a mocking tone, so few words but enough to stick the knife within her heart and ask her to tell the world she could still breathe with blood pouring from her lips… she almost had to wonder if this was all worth it. If she was supposed to be something. If she was supposed to be someone. Maybe there wasn’t some legendary way she fit into her family name, too busy trying to make it uniquely her own, ignore the scatter of expectation from the six other siblings that bore it, made it their own before her.
It’d been all she could’ve done to sleep, even as Mary turned up beside her. She would’ve never pushed the girls away, not like this. But Mary, even more so. Cruelty had graced her friend, like a dark cloud. How could Marlene expose her own demons to her when Mary had danced with them? Jaw tightened in the tact to say nothing, do nothing as she kept her eyes trained on the dying fire before her. Something good had come from returning—if it hadn’t all turned to shit in a matter of mere seconds. Everyone gets lonely, Mar. But it wasn’t loneliness. Not this time. It was a quelled anger, something simmering below the surface, something she might’ve feared. Could she snap—finally break that last bond that held her and whatever fragmented relationship she had with her father? Did she want to risk it? He was where her anger came from. Where her privilege came from. Where her quick wit, sharp tongue, steel stare, darkened thoughts, it was all Alastor. Marlene was fighting all the time to not become the very man who crafted her into who she was. “It’s not loneliness, Mary.” She murmured, shaking her head. “M’not alone. I know that now.” As in she knew not to hide—wished she could, because it was easier to hide, succumb within herself. But she knew better now.
In a second, she could’ve dispersed it. Because she was a good friend to people who didn’t want her, and Sirius fancying Mary was just… she hated herself wanting to bite her tongue. But she told them she wouldn’t hide—wouldn’t lie anymore. And he said she was just like her father. “Yeah, and look at’cha now—up in the middle of the night, should’ve been listenin’ t’me sooner.” She commented, shaking her head. Instead of explaining, she flipped the text that sat on her lap, pulling out the folded note. “Rejection letter, again.” Like it should’ve not come as a surprise. “But there’s a note, see?—‘try harder.’ Yeah… from me Dad.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You’ll tell me somethin’?” She asked, raising her brows, grinning slightly. She settled with a soft sigh. She could’ve forced herself to sleep right there, if she closed her eyes, ignored the soft hum of Mary’s voice and made herself slip away. But it didn’t work in the dorms, it wouldn’t work now. “And then I got int’a fight with Sirius and everything’s a fuckin’ mess, and I’m pretty much this close,” She motioned with her index finger and thumb barely a hair’s space apart. “To either bein’ drunk all the time or properly losin’ my shit on someone.” She then recoiled her arms under the blanket to stay warm. “You want t’top that fascinatin’ information, love? I’m all ears.” Tell me something good. Marlene hoped.
This was their reality. A harsh, cruel world that had never handed favours to the fortunate, nor the lesser. Mary had known it the second she’d set gaze upon the likes of Marlene McKinnon, there’d been nothing but a drive in which little could ever dream to rival. Marlene McKinnon had a determination that others would’ve found intimidating, as they oft did, and Mary herself had found it inspiring. So, colour her absolutely barking mad at the sound of Alastor’s repetition. So focused on upholding a family legacy that he’d drown his own daughters ambitions in the process. To uphold traditions, to remain something that echoed the patriarchy from decades ago. It was enough to cause Mary’s tongue to press firmly against her cheek, allowing an all too familiar sense of agitation to wash over her as she’d found herself re-reading the words in which Marlene’s father surely wrote out with such care. “Your dad’s an absolute cock, Marlene.” Through gritted teeth, her lithe digits reach out for the note he’d left before tossin’ it in the fire with one swift motion. “I know he’s yer dad, and his opinion matters. But not nearly as much as yer own.” It’d do little to quell the demons that were surely running rampant in Marlene’s mind, the noises that wouldn’t cease with a mere suggestion. However, she arches a brow and finds her friends gaze in the light of the fire. “I’m not callin’ you a quitter, Mar. Bloody hell, y’know that’s the last thing ye are. But –– he’s not the end all, be all. I’d hate t’see you base yer own self worth off of what yer bloody miserable asshat of a father thinks.” She shrugs lightly, knowing that there’d surely be no coercing Marlene to do anything she hadn’t wanted. That, no matter what, she’d find herself accepted based on her own merits. Marlene’s father had only ever been an obstacle, a man who’d demanded greatness at the cost of his daughters self esteem, her sanity, her reflection.
“Yeah well, Sirius seems to be burnin’ his bridges faster than ever.” She’d allowed bitter taste of his name to linger, anger swelling. If it wasn’t Marlene’s father, it was Sirius, it was his own relentless self pity that stemmed from a place in which Mary surely could never understand. He’d made absolute sure of that. She shakes her head, reassuring Marlene all the same. “Whatever it was that the bloody arse said t’you, I wouldn’t take it t’heart.” Knowing that it was he who’d managed to strike a chord in Marlene so deep that it’d hurt, that she’d now added it to a list of things that’d surely pushed her over the edge. If there’d been a doubt in Mary’s mind that she’d lost respect for the likes of Sirius Black, this surely would’ve reassured her. “He’s hurt so he’s out to hurt the rest o’ us.” Quite cowardly, she thinks to herself as she hums the thought within her mind, allowing it to settle. Her own personal feelings aside, she’d found herself quite content with the idea of remaining apathetic towards his actions. If it wasn’t the fight with her, it was with Marlene, with Damon. Self destruction was something Mary couldn’t stomach, wouldn’t stomach. She’d crawled through hell and back, not once having placed herself in a position to believe it better to distance those who’d sought out to help. At least, not in the way Sirius had been. “Look, I ain’t blamin’ you, Mar. I really don’t at all. Life has been handin’ you a shite hand and yer dealin’ with it.” There’s empathy within her vocals, a shift in the times having made them all the more prepared for such. “But, promise me if yer plannin’ on losing yer shit on someone, that it’s the likes of Florence and not someone like –– Damon.” She pauses, allowing a beat to settle before allowing sigh to escape her. “It’s okay t’be angry. Merlin knows, I understand anger. But, I just don’t want t’see you riskin’ anything that’ll risk yer future. So don’t go chasin’ any brawls. Because if ye do, then I’ll have to jump in, and Dorcas and Merlin probably Lily at this point and well –– I know how much you’d just hate that.” Words are littered with nothing but good intentions as lips curl upwards, dimples creasing her cheeks as she smiles.
“Well, how in the hell am I to top that? I’ve nothing.” Her fight with Sirius remained water beneath a bridge, leading her straight back into the dangerous territory that was Damon Mulciber. However, it’d be foolish for Mary to harbour such strong feelings about Marlene keepin’ herself at a safe distance whilst Mary couldn’t even manage such. Hypocritical in fact. “I’ve been takin’ out my frustrations no thanks to Frank, he’s been helpin’ me with the whole –– “ Hands motion towards herself, up and down as if she were something different entirely. “Well, gettin’ back into the ring I ‘spose.” Because if there was one person she’d been comfortable confiding in with such a thing, it’d be Marlene. Because Marlene had never treated her with kid gloves, had never wanted her to hold back every ounce of –– whatever it was that was boilin’ over the edge, slowly but surely. “I was seein’ Sirius from time t’ time but –– well, with everythin’ that’s goin’ on it’s just better to stay away. Can’t really justify wantin’ to be in the company o’ someone who’d cause my best mate to drink much more than usual, now can I?” Her tone is laced with jest, light hearted as she nudges Marlene’s arm with that of her own. “It’s hard –– and I don’t like it –– keepin’ things from you lot, and I know there’s so much goin’ on through our heads but ––” She closes her eyes, breathes in a sigh as she rests head upon Marlene’s shoulders for comfort. “We can’t be afraid of one another, not now.”
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