Cat Potato @mashedcatato - Tumblr Blog

Cat potato, firmly mashed and mixed with garlic and milk.

Nothing beats finding some old obscure piece of art that your significant other made and I'm wanting to permanently adhere it to the fridge so they know they are loved and appreciated

I've been coming up with new conspiracy theories to tell my Uber drivers.

Birds aren't real???

No. Fish.

Fish are untrustworthy.

Moon landing?

Sure, but they never came back.

#conspiracy #conspiracy theories weren't weird enough

Tumblr asking if I want to get rid of ads

No

This is the only place where the ads are acceptable and interactive

It would be impossible for me to be a tik tok or whatever influencer because

One I'd get banned for something I said

Immediately

Two I don't think I could speak coherently enough to articulate what it is I'm trying to actually say

#it's not that I stutter #but sometimes #I forget the English word for things #english is my first language

Wish there was a way to recover old tumblr accounts

I shouldnt have made such rash decisions

It was breakup brain.

Bitch it's 5 am

What the fuck

I don't work today

Go back to sleep

#I should reorder these sentences to make it a haiku but I'm too lazy

My cats are loosing weight because their food is more boring

#tbh they're just having more fun now #not like they're on a diet

I turned my sound on for this thinking I'm missing something.

I'm not

Sometimes I like to miss my stop to switch things up for my bus driver

#not like I forgot it or anything #or try a new route #sometimes I just be like nah

Sitting on the bus with headphones in

No music

Raw dogging the ambience still

#what a dumbass

Where are the other end of Medusa's snakes

#like are they inside #are they just double ended snake #is her scalp also snake #is her bush just snake ass

Every time I get lost in a game with my fiance he now says

"the kiva(me) knows where it is because it knows where it is not"

And that is an accurate portrayal of me when gaming

#a mashed catato life

I'm screaming

WHO ARE YOU

WHY ARE YOU SO RELATABLE

WHO GAVE YOU THIS ADDRESS

#who the fuck is this #how did you get here

Ayo I'm back my dudes

Had toooo many stupid questions that I was told to say it somewhere else again

#just anxietied my social too hard

Do you think beavers would raise a baby platypus

#like if I had a baby platypus #and gave it to a beaver #would the beaver be like #damn that's an ugly beaver #and raise it #like an ugly duckling that just stays ugly #mashed catato

I think I'm my favorite comedian

#ngl that shit is funny as fuck #mashed catato

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