M*A*S*H Q*U*O*T*E*S

Best Care Anywhere Alt. Blog: themikestand.tumblr.com

[mashquotes]

Tweeted

"That's all you do? Bird imitations?"

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) Mar 3, 2022

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Tweeted

Cowboy: Shoot, I been hurt worse rollin' a cigarette.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) Mar 2, 2022

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Tweeted

Frank: Oh, traction helps. Usually a day or two in traction and I... Trapper: Now wait a minute, Frank. I'm the doctor here. Hawkeye: I thought I was the doctor here. Trapper: Actually, we're all doctors here. Even the patient's a doctor here. Hawkeye: Here, here.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) Feb 17, 2022

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RT @hscott61: All profits from my prescription kickbacks? These are recorded in my red ledger, not the blue one that I show to th… https://t.co/Q5456cXC2R

All profits from my prescription kickbacks? These are recorded in my red ledger, not the blue one that I show to the government.@MASHquotes http://pic.twitter.com/abgF3FFb1F

— hscott61 (@hscott61) May 29, 2017

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes May 29, 2017 at 12:19PM

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Margaret (to nurses during physical exam):Further, they can do nothing, nothing,when you are alone with them but give you a good going-over.

Margaret (to nurses during physical exam):Further, they can do nothing, nothing,when you are alone with them but give you a good going-over.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) August 22, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes August 22, 2016 at 11:48AM

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Winchester (into recorder):I have even contemplated shooting myself in the foot. But you know how much I enjoy the annual Debs' Cotillion.

Winchester (into recorder):I have even contemplated shooting myself in the foot. But you know how much I enjoy the annual Debs' Cotillion.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) August 12, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes August 12, 2016 at 12:14PM

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Blake (to Radar): This will be a real test of my leadershipmanship. [drinks a shot] So no booze.

Blake (to Radar): This will be a real test of my leadershipmanship. [drinks a shot] So no booze.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) August 11, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes August 11, 2016 at 11:15AM

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Radar: Sir, you wanna sign this? Blake:I don't wanna sign anything. You sign it. R: Sir, would you sign that I signed? B: I'll sign that.

Radar: Sir, you wanna sign this? Blake:I don't wanna sign anything. You sign it. R: Sir, would you sign that I signed? B: I'll sign that.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) August 8, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes August 08, 2016 at 10:16AM

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Radar (giving milk to pets): Sorry it’s powdered. WWII surplus. Just think about all the guys in the next war that’ll have to eat this one.

Radar (giving milk to pets): Sorry it’s powdered. WWII surplus. Just think about all the guys in the next war that’ll have to eat this one.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) May 6, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes May 06, 2016 at 06:07PM

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Radar (during Col Blake's confusing VD talk): Sir, I just have one question. Do you suppose that someday you could give us a talk on V.D.

Radar (during Col Blake's confusing VD talk): Sir, I just have one question. Do you suppose that someday you could give us a talk on V.D.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) April 25, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes April 25, 2016 at 09:25AM

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Hawkeye (stuffing a Volskwagen): Let's have no groping please. All gropers will report to my tent and right after that the "gropees.

Hawkeye (stuffing a Volskwagen): Let's have no groping, please. All gropers will report to my tent, and right after that, the "gropees.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) April 20, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes April 20, 2016 at 10:57AM

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Hawkeye (reading) And then she came close& I could smell her perfume. It made me want to leave my wife & children and I'm not even married

Hawkeye (reading) And then she came close,& I could smell her perfume. It made me want to leave my wife & children, and I'm not even married

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) April 19, 2016

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes April 19, 2016 at 08:54PM

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M*A*S*H

6x22 Potter’s Retirement

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Col Ditka: You see, you don't notice it because you're here every day. But to a visiting dignitary, this place looks terrible.

Col Ditka: You see, you don't notice it because you're here every day.But to a visiting dignitary, this place looks terrible.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) November 13, 2015

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes November 13, 2015 at 03:30PM

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Burns (trimming nose hairs):I never realized I had so much hair up there. Hawkeye:I did.I just thought it was an ingrown mustache.#Movember

Burns (trimming nose hairs):I never realized I had so much hair up there.Hawkeye:I did.I just thought it was an ingrown mustache.#Movember

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) November 10, 2015

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes November 10, 2015 at 09:40AM

[mashquotes]

Winchester: - Klinger, before you were born the word "stupidity" was without a definition.

Winchester: - Klinger, before you were born the word "stupidity" was without a definition.

— MASH quotes (@MASHquotes) November 9, 2015

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MASHquotes November 09, 2015 at 11:24AM