(2/2) Do you think I could be anorexic? It's just that I'm kind of fat and have always been the chubbier. People tell me I'm not fat and I know I'm a healthy weight, but I could weigh about 15 pounds less and still be healthy. That's my goal actually... To be right at the minimum. Then I'll still be healthy. So maybe that mind set isn't bad enough to be considered anorexic? Please help me.
I know this is a two part question thing but I'm going to answer it all here. The technical definition of anorexia is burning more calories than you are taking in. So if you are only eating a little and the exercising like crazy then yes, I would qualify you as anorexic. I don't glorify ED's (can't remember if that was in this part of the ask or the other) but no. I don't do any of that bullshit. I've had anorexia. I HAVE anorexia, it's an ongoing battle and one of my best friends is bulimic. Both are incredibly dangerous. The reason why I'm going to say you sound like you might have it is because you are doing what I did when it started and then I ended up in the hospital when it got worse. Trust me, you don't want that. Trust me, the weight you are losing is just going to come back when you get healthier. Anorexia is NOT the answer. When I had it, I started by only eating lunch, then only eating 150 calories per day, then I ate a cracker per day and then I stopped eating all together. And let me tell you, the 36 pounds I lost when I did it was not worth the 50 I gained back when I started eating 3 meals a day again. That being said, I wasn't really eating the healthiest meals and I stopped exercising. But that weight came pouring back. It's not like gaining a couple pounds a month type of coming back it was like 15 a month. I had gained everything back over the course of a year of eating the way I did before I stopped eating. So I'm going to go ahead and tell you if you think you can lose 15 more pounds by not eating, and then think it'll stay that way after when you get your appetite back.. It's not going to play out like that. And if you're anything like me, you'll hate yourself for it. The only healthy way to lose weight is the right way, whatever your right way may be. I had a relapse in 2014 when my ex told me I wasn't attractive enough for him and I stopped eating because I thought it was my body. I only did it to the point that I lost about 18 pounds, and then after help from my friends and family I started eating again and gained it all back again. Now, in 2016, I decided to lose weight the right way. I watch what I eat, and I only drink water, occasionally maybe some juice. I exercise when I can but sometimes I don't have time because of work (which is a workout it's self let's be real) and I've lost 25 pounds so far. The difference between anorexia and eating right and exercising? It stays off. I can go out to eat once a week and not have to worry about gaining 10 pounds back. I may bloat and gain like .5 but it's all water weight and with some exercise, water pill and B12 it disappears again. That's my way. I really try to eat healthy and not drink soda and exercise. Now that it's summer I'll be going to parks and kayaking at lakes. I don't think I've really ever gone into this much detail on my tumblr before about my ED but that's because I'm not proud of it. I am proud I'm losing weight the right way though and I know this is long but I really want to stress that if you think you can turn it around, you should. It's so dangerous and you do not want to end up in the hospital like me. You do not want to faint when you're out walking like I did. You don't want to wake up with needles and tubes in your arms or throat. You don't want nurses to give you sedatives so they can make sure they get into your system while you sleep. You don't want to get out of the hospital and go to the grocery store and have your mom tell you to get anything you want, only to be found crying alone on an aisle because you can't find anything worth eating to put on your body. You don't want to have it haunt you. You don't want to know that you can go back with a flip of a switch. It's not worth it. It's a life long battle. Just like depression. Once you have it, it's there. There is no cure. The thoughts will always be there, you just have to try and forget them but when you're 21, three years after you had to be in the hospital, looking at yourself and thinking, I could lose some weight. Trust me, I've thought about it. Trust me, I WANT to. It takes so much strength for me to not. I'm working on loving myself. That's where it starts in my opinion. I hate my body. But I've accepted it. And I'm working of fixing it. So my advice is that. You don't have to love yourself. I'm not going to tell you to do that because I know how hard it is. But try and accept yourself and work from there. And try to lose the weight in a healthier way. I can't make you do anything but I sure as hell try and persuade because I don't want anyone to go through what I went through. It's damaging and I wish I could take it back. I hope my experience has helped you in someway, my ask is always open. 💕
