A D/s relationship is not based on sex or kink; contrary to the myths often portrayed on Tumblr. It is based on a mutually agreed exchange of power, where the roles are more clearly agreed and defined than in many vanilla relationships.
It is about the connection between two people and the manner in which they communication and interact - outside of the bedroom as well as in.
Much time is spent nurturing and building on the different bond between the parties. A dominant has many responsibilities for the physical and mental wellbeing of a submissive, which involves probing deeply into their mind and gradually peeling away insecurities and building strength.
It requires levels of trust beyond more traditional relationships, and this trust is a delicate element. Yes, of course trust is a part of nearly all relationships, it is just D/s partnerships sometimes incorporate extra mental or physical risks. A submissive party must feel safe if they are to fully relax and release themselves. It often requires structure and routine, with tasks associated with evolution and self-discipline - not common in vanilla relationships.
The roles do not always follow modern political correctness, or socially defined rules, but this is a free choice for those involved.
It might well be that the depth of the bond between a D/s couple, and the nature in which they choose to live results in great sex, but it is not the cornerstone of the pairing. There may or may not be additional elements associated with rules, control, instruction, bondage, discipline, even degradation, humiliation or other activities some class as taboo, but these are not necessary to enjoy a D/s partnership.
Furthermore, any individuals or couples can freely enjoy kinks; they are not the sole domain of BDSM practitioners. BDSM, on the other hand includes Sadism and Masochism in the title, but the D/s element does not demand participation in painful activities. It is certain misrepresentations of a D/s lifestyle, sometimes implying cruelty or abuse with a perception of a dark, immoral side of BDSM that seems to confuse some people.
If it makes you happy have it all and enjoy the sin, but do not believe a D/s relationship is based on all the images on Tumblr. An active imagination is healthy and visual and written stimulation posted on blogs can feed fantasies as long as people recognise they always have choices and a D/s relationship does not have prescribed conditions or rules.
Sex and kinks are not at the heart of a D/s relationship, but both offer additional treats to many. Being safe, sane, with mutual consent is all that is required along with an imagination to brighten your world. it is not always dark behind the red door.
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