Im Such A Baby Cause Cowboys Make Me Cry @masterhocuspocus - Tumblr Blog

Does anyone have a genuine reason why I shouldn’t just end it all?

Like for real is anyone even seeing this?

I’m just a loser and I have no one left to live for, so what’s the point?

I had a moment of weakness last night, a real mental health crisis. I usually talk to my therapist to voice my grievances but it’s only on Wednesdays and I couldn’t wait that long so I reached out to a suicide hotline. The person who talked with me was very kind and understanding. I still feel bad but not as much as last night.

#personal #suicide mention

I hate sleeping.

You’re always there in my dreams.

December 5.

11 years ago today I confessed my feelings to you after school. These feelings still burn within me just as much as they did day one. I think these feelings will eventually kill me.

We’ve been separated for almost 2 years now, going our own ways. But I’d be lying if I said you weren’t on my mind every day, and that you haunt me in my dreams every night.

I haven’t sat around moping the entire time however. I’ve rekindled old friendships, and started brand new ones. Slowly but steadily getting into the best shape of my life. Been on all sorts adventures, it’s been fun, it’s reminded me that life is still worth living. But there’s still that feeling that something’s missing. That you’re missing.

I still harbor zero hatred towards you. Despite what you may tell yourself, I’m not mad at you. Folks tell and whisper to me how furious you are at me, but that hatred is one-sided. I continue to only feel this love, this anxiety-ridden, butterfly feeling in my being, in my soul.

The phrase “one in a million” is used a lot but you genuinely are one in a lifetime. I don’t think I’m ever gonna meet an individual as captivating and unique as you. This feeling still burns within me. Despite everything, I’m still in love with you. Though we may never reconcile again, you’ll go on to bigger and better things. And me, I’ll be long dead and gone, but this love will continue to burn.

I want to die.

This arrived in the mail. Guess I’ll fiddle around with it while quarantined

SOMEONE SAVE ME

I’m somewhere around here, please hurry.

#I’m fading fast

Do jobs no longer take you off for 5-7 days for having Covid? That was the case the first time I had it. I got it again this week and when I call in work they just say “uh, okay we’ll take you off the schedule for today. Feel better.” And I’m just huh??? Today?? Like JUST today? Should I be calling in every day I continue to test positive??? Idk

#covid #someone send me a soup so I can heal faster

I keep subconsciously calling Homestuck “Undertale” idk why outside the fact I know Toby and Andrew worked together in the past. So I’m always just like “oh hey there’s not much work to do this is a great time to read some more Undertale”

Bored at work last night I finally started reading homestuck. So far all this John kid does is combine stuff. Combine this, combine that. How about you combine my foot with your ass?