homemade dynamite @matcofernandez-blog - Tumblr Blog

if u wld like a personal starter from mateo jst like this and i’ll get to it asap!! n if we haven’t plotted yet i’ll come sliding into ur im’s

#vpustart #blows u all a kiss

brvdleymilligvn:

“What the fuck, Kenny?” Bradley wrinkled her nose in a grimace, wiggling her cigarette away from the homeless man perched besides her attempting to lean over and suck on it. “Jesus Christ. That’s unhygienic. I just saw you eat a peanut off the floor.” Tossing a glance backwards to a figure passing along the sidewalk she was perched on the corner of, she shook her head in address. “Can you believe this guy? Slurping up menthols like he’s Henry the Hoover on crack.”

Lighting his own cigarette during a much needed break from the crowded confines of the bar, Mateo glanced around for Bradley who said she’d be doing the same thing just moments earlier. Hearing her voice just around the corner, Mateo ambled casually in her direction, brows furrowing in mild confusion at the sight he approached, although he couldn’t say he was particularly surprised. “Nice to see you’re branching out,” he mumbled sarcastically, lips wrapped around his cigarette itching upwards at the corners, “Y’know maybe you should lower your expectations of friends, don’t think he can help that he’s homeless.”

#bradley.

@lana_jameson: @mateo_fern omg kinky... is this the part where u order me back inside to change into something mre conservative

@mateo_fern: @lana_jameson i told u ur tweet was bad...... acting like i personally requested u to slice ur tits off so i can brandish them as a medal

#oihgoisdig Wrow.#lana.#tweet.

@lana_jameson:

me, grinding in a red feather boa at 6pm on a tuesday, titties out: elvis is my daddy.... marilyn's my mother... j-

them: ma'am.

me: -esus is my bestest friend... we don't need nobody.. cause we got each other... or at least i pre-

them: ma'am. ma'am i am begging you. ma'am please leave the walmart if you aren't going to buy anything.

@mateo_fern: @lana_jameson this is your worst one yet

#oishdgoidg #lana.#tweet.

adrianaserrano:

“ let’s just pose for a picture and let the paps talk, ” she recomposed herself, “ can you at least pretend we’re having fun ? these valentino’s shine brighter than your fake smile, sweetheart… ” she muttered, quietly. “ if you’re going to fool the media then you might as well try your best. ”

“I find it hard to smile around people I actually like,” Mateo mumbled back, dropping his fake smile altogether to shoot Adriana a glance, completely indifferent to the cameras around. “I’m doing this for you, so I’d watch the tone.” Throwing on what looked like a far more natural smile instead of the killer clown beam slapped on his face earlier, Mateo reached over and wrapped an arm around Adriana’s waist, pulling her in close to him, move performed with ease from the amount of times they’d done it. “Better? Or should we just go at it like rabbits to really emphasize the show?”

#adriana.

maxdecotes:

“A comedian! You hear that folks? A real Seth Rogen type if I do say so myself,” he said quickly, slapping the other on the shoulder with distinct force. Glancing over the heads of the individuals in front of him, he caught a glimpse of the bouncer who seemed to be arguing with one of the students attempting to get on. Underage. Max laughed, scoffing at the poor technique of the individual to get into the bar. “Pathetic,” he mumbled, relieved when the line finally started to move again. “Really? Amazing. Best words I’ve heard all day.”

“Keep your filthy paws off me, cretin. Some of us have a reputation we have to keep up,” he sniffed, donning a pathetically fake British accent. While he enjoyed being odd for the sake of mocking people, it was rare that he actually took a step back and allowed himself to be vulnerably goofy unless it was with someone he enjoyed the company of as much as he did Max. “Yeah, well, what’re friends for, all that jazz. You’ll just have to owe me a favour of my choosing at any given time. Expect something degrading.”

#max.

maxdecotes:

“Happy Saturday,” Max said, standing in the queue of the campus pub. The wait to get in seemed to be longer and longer with every passing week, likely due to the campus edging closer to exam season. People needed to let off steam. Max wasn’t one to judge such things. “Got any games to play in a line-up?” he asked. “I spy with my little eye, someone that probably smells like egg,” he said glancing down the line of people.

“You can’t pick yourself, that’s cheating,” Mateo mumbled, waggling his brows at the other to show that he was merely teasing. Even though he could easily see over most of the people in line, it didn’t stop him from arching onto his tiptoes momentarily to see the bouncer more properly, “What the fuck is the hold up here? Don’t these idiots have exams to study for or something? It’s not like this place can only hold 12 people, let in the sober!” his shouting earned him a nasty look from a few people in line, causing him to frown back at them and return to his proper posture, heaving a sigh all too dramatic for the situation, “Whatever. First round’s on me.”

#max.#here bitch!

pick two people here to have a threesome with

“Ms. Frizzle and Sandy from Grease. Talk about ladies in the streets but freak in the sheets. But if we’re talking about people here, I think everyone’s expecting it to go down with AJ and Sloane at this point so might as well give the people what they want.”