JVL
blake kathryn
Today's Document
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Andulka
tannertan36
No title available
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola
🪼
if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap
Kaledo Art
AnasAbdin
titsay
No title available
@theartofmadeline
Mike Driver
seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
seen from France
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from Jordan
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from United States
seen from United States
@mathwithoutnumbers
There's a movement to the way you make me feel
A gentle wind flitting across each endeavoring blade of grass
The armed flourish of clouds bracing for a summer storm
A push and pull so like the cresting waves of the beach we never visited
That I wanted to
That you might have
Before
Reach
They don’t know what it’s like to feel the sun crashing towards you
Fiery and unstoppable
Blinding and burning
With your arm reaching out hoping it gets to you sooner
DOHA, QATAR MARCH 15TH 20XX 1:32PM
The first thing that registers is the ringing. Dull, but achingly consistent as the edges of my consciousness overflow with light. It’s taking longer than I want it to. It’s not going to matter. I know what’s next. Swipe my arm across my chest. Wrench off the blanket and use the weight of my legs to swing off the bed. Turn off the latest Kpop favorite playing from my phone. It’s the same routine, and then…it isn’t. Expecting the plush “periwinkle-ish” fabric, the tips of my fingers are met raw with the scraping of gravel. On my chest? The floor—dust? Concrete. And then the world is rushing back. The ringing’s louder as my eyes shoot open from the pain that’s been reintroduced. Checklist ready: Arms, legs, head. Okay, of course the head. Burning feeling. Scrapes. My elbow is off. Don’t worry about it now. A sudden induction of breath. It’s fast. Too fast. I’m hyperventilating. Get up. Move. Move! My body won’t stop shaking as I try to shift what seems to weigh six times the usual amount. Sit up. Lean forward. Crouch. Pick a direction and run. There’s some part of me that knows what to do. It’s not providing exposition. My vision’s back. Shit. My breath is hoarse as I push up onto my feet. What hellscape is this? It’s all spinning but I’m getting my bearings. That way’s fire; there’s some people running. Don’t look too close at the people in the fire. Turn around. Run where they do. People run away from danger. Normally towards this embassy. Not today. The ringing stops only to be replaced with screams. Don’t look back. Don’t look. Keep running. I can barely feel the ground under my feet as I forge ahead. Sneakers. Oh. I changed. I can’t see my elbow under this blazer. Does it still work? Work! I changed for lunch. I was walking back with…No. Please no. Don’t think about it. Don’t look back. Smoke and debris fill the space. I’ve walked this same route for three years. I can make it. It’s not over yet. I’m still alive so it can’t be. I have to survive.
1:33PM
Fixation
The painting came with the house. Ornate oak framing and unfinished back upon the mantle. A simple spattering of shape to gaze upon whilst claiming the rocking chair, fire stirring satiety and vitriol alike.
A woman with straw-colored hair and a youthful flush wearing the boxiest white linen dress possible—Sal liked to imagine it was the first image in an artist’s 10-year progress series. Still, it was not bad, and each day he stood to appreciate it just a little more.
One day he took note of the texture of the ringlets which barely grazed her shoulders. It looked like hundreds of strands were independently illustrated with delicacy rivaling fine silk. Another time he almost laughed as he noticed that it did not show the woman’s eyes closed at all but had eyes so clear blue they glowed with the depth of our galaxies.
The smile was not quaint as he once thought but displayed lips gently upturned and sparkling white teeth in a coquettish invite. The cheeks once defined by their cherubic reflections were in fact hollowed and angled like the very representation of a Hollywood beauty.
Each night he stared, waiting for his newest revelation, and she stared back almost thanking him for his acknowledgement. Cordelia, he named her, having habituated himself into talking to her as many hours his life would allow. He would repeat it as a mantra so it would be the last thing to grace his lips each gasp before sleep.
From the forward tilt of her shoulders and the nervous swallow that followed, he just knew she would have loved that. The night he fell asleep on the rocking chair was her favorite as she reached out a clawed hand and pushed off with her legs—determined to steal his last breath.
Missed
I know what it’s like to meet a meteor shower
Trying to learn the phases of the moon
Where the shootings stars eventually land
With my gaze never once leaving the ground
And a heart blown apart by a supernova
Value
Let me tell you a story about learning to value myself
I didn’t let myself realize how bad I was treated until I was too sick to pretend it didn’t have any impact
Too stressed and broken to pretend I didn’t need to rely on anyone else like they relied on me
When I couldn’t be your friend when it was convenient for you and actually needed you to be mine
And when I stopped putting that effort in for you, all of our friends with you were pushed away too
They were more your friends than mine, I justified as if I didn’t know how little of a connection I had with them at all
I was always that friend from afar who just wanted them to be happy, even when it had nothing to do with me.
And then I was alone.
Congratulating myself for demanding more by not tripping over myself for everyone else.
And yet I was alone.
Completely alone.
Because now I can think the world of my value in a friendship
And have it hit me in the face in the end that it was my grasping on what wasn’t really there that was solidifying it
Giving me some semblance of people I loved.
Still love.
Even though I haven’t crossed their mind in an eternity.
And now I am so, so lonely.
I don’t know how to be a friend.
How to have friends.
How I’m still sick in a way that can’t be cured.
Thinking back to the fact that I didn’t ever have a friend like I tried to be even when I was happy.
But I’m alone.
And I’m going to be alone.
And life isn’t magic and I wish I just didn’t
Because being treated like I was worthless but surrounded by people was still better somehow.
Than this.
All of this.
Just...loneliness...
Toxicity is Taught
I'm not like other girls with their painted wings and shimmery dresses I just never got their constant need for attention
I'm not like other girls with their curly letters and colorful pens I don't take notes on things that'll never matter anyway
I'm not like other girls with their skinned knees and full ride scholarships It's like, who needs teamwork when you like yourself?
I'm not like other girls with their broken hearts and crocodile tears It's such a cliche way to fish for compliments
I read books.
I listen to Good music.
I'm better than them in every way.
Cause I'm not like other girls.
That's me:
Not like other girls.
That's all that matters
Have you ever met someone so happy? Those lacey designs across her arms are so beautiful.
What does my name mean? Define me as a person Tell me it's pre-determined Say it isn't my fault
Maybe I'm an optimist, who's run out of words for nice Maybe I'm a realist, who's sick of saying quite Maybe I'm a pessimist, who wants to avoid a scene Or maybe I'm a person, who just wants time to breathe
She waltzed into the room, as delicate as one could amble Touched her hand to his cheek, with the gentleness of a bat Whispered in his ear, like glass meeting metal "I'm ready." He wasn't.
How can you be the one that always warms my heart Stolen kisses, laughs, and knee touches that tear me clear apart How can you be the one that sees me clear as day When every moment I'm still waiting for you to turn my way
Cyclical
I don't want to know about how hard life is I don't want to hear about paying bills or making rent on time I don't want to feel the stretch from paycheck to paycheck I just want to be a kid
I just want to know what to do next I just want something to show me what path won't leave me as broken I just want someone to tell me what I should do to make it I only need to be better
I only need to survive I only need another dollar I only need to find the right person at the right time Please, listen this one time
Notice me this one moment Mind me this one instant Hear the words I say this one second I can't do this by myself
The Long Way
I want to stretch it out
The time we spend
Avoiding the oh so obvious
A little wave
Extra clumsy jingling of keys
Awkward laughs to hide our faces
Maybe a bit more time
A lot more courage
And we'll kiss
But for now
Slow steps and blushing cheeks
We'll make it somehow
Even taking the long way home
Growth
I had a dream last night
As if I jumped right into our past
I felt the time already shifting
I had a lot to say
About how I'm miserable but also okay
And how it's sad but
We aren't friends anymore
You just got married
You smiled so much
She could be a little crazy
But I know you'd love that
Because, really
I don't know
Her or you
Or me whose just a memory
I know it's hard to understand
We love each other like family
A family we choose is what we say
But none of us actually even crossed your mind.
It started with the lack of calls and messages
Like you've always been bad
One day you just didn't even want to respond
And I felt guilty to interrupt your new life
It's new
All new
I guess from the time we've been apart
It's only been 4 years since I saw you
I guess that's a lot to the you in front of me
It just seems short to build a whole future without us
Without me
I mean, I can't even ask anymore
I wonder if you remember that fake date day
The one where I knew you didn't want to cry
And I wanted to show you what it was like to be valued
Because you somehow never saw yourself as worth it
You were the only one who ever said it so blatantly
That you were going to miss me
And to be honest,
It was my only real goodbye
Or what about the hours on the phone
From the few and far between
Pretending to be mature
When we were always both so lost and reaching
It's weird how much value I put
In our always far away friendship
And how much it hurts
To know it didn't survive
Not a fight
Not circumstance
Not even the distance
Just proof
Picture perfect proof
That the things that impacted me so deeply
Are already packed away
In a past I didn't even know was over
So, finally, I can achieve my childhood dream. I’m a princess.
Except, I’m Rapunzel. Locked in my tower built by others but blocked by my unwillingness to leave without hope of something new.
My relationship status, complicated. Career and education, non-existent. Social life, null.
Like this tower protects the secret that I even exist.
Iridescent
I live in a world of my very own shadows
The sun has already left us
To fall into the darkness
I still see them so clearly