shanncs:
“ah, that’s why i like you best, mami,” says shane. “you ain’t one to be afraid of speakin’ your mind.” that, and the fact that she was really the only one he could see who could whip the ‘hounds up in shape. without her, shane thinks that they’d have crumbled down years and years ago. joseph provided the dizzying heights, the big dreams, the pinnacles that they didn’t even think were possible to seize and take hold of—but mami? mami provided the stability, the security. there were many folk who probably didn’t like that much, who liked uncertainty and danger and risks, but in the end it was mami who kept them fed and ensured that there was still a camp to go to.
if only he could have the words to say his appreciation of her—but, really, shane’s a coward and a fool and he feels that saying anything would just make a mess of this nice little rhythm they have going now, so he stays quiet. he smiles a little at her replies but continues his work. “a rightful fool who’s still up and about on both legs, aye,” he says. sometimes simply being alive was reason enough to believe oneself lucky, especially when others were not so fortunate. “but this rightful fool could bring you enough food for you to cook up a feast, i mighty reckon,” he says. as he continues cutting the animal, he makes sure that his face betray none of what he’s thinking. “that’s good, then, ain’t it?” he asks, somewhat rhetorically. “the winter’s been tough, aye, but here we are, ain’t we? that’s about the only thing that matters.” unsaid was the fact that they numbered lesser than they did, but shane reckons he doesn’t need to go and voice any of that. as for her question, the only response he gives is a grunt and, after a second’s thinking, a quick shrug. shane wasn’t really one for voicing out much of anything, his tongue more used to barbs and teasing and the like but never one for heartfelt confessions. in the end, he gives her a small smile. “same as i always been, i guess,” he says at last, finally giving her as close to an answer as possible.
“you better like me best, i’m the one who feeds ya and sews up those bullet holes you come home with.” it was a bit of an odd word to use--- home. but she knew using it around shane was right. this was home, even if it traveled around the country, with different people coming in and out, by idiot choice or by a bullet, this was home. shane new that. he was a part of what made this home. she was confident that that went both ways. for them, this was the place that provided the more stability than they’d ever seen in their lives. more of a family than they were given. she could call everything about this home and he wouldn’t blink an eye.
“you bring me that food and i’ll cook the feast but i ain’t gonna start preppin’ until i see that meat roll in.” she waves her knife at hime again, still not confident in whatever luck he’ll draw up to gather them food. they’ve had just enough to get them by, no more, no less. it’s not lavish or as comfortable as they have been, but there aren’t hungry stomachs every day either, which there have been times when winters get that hard. though he had a point, they were a live, the world was still spinning, and the devil hadn’t come to take their names yet, so things were fine. but then again, “i’m always stressin’ about something. i gotta stress for the rest of y’all, that’s my job.” she doesn't let the worry show on her face, and she tries not to have it keep her up at night, but she has her concerns, and she never wants to see them fail. joseph’s got the grandiose plans that sometimes blow up in their face like a jammed pistol and mami’s never quite sure when it’s going to be one of those times.
shane doesn’t give her much response and that always strikes a chord with mami. she looks at him for a moment, eyes narrowing carefully before she reaches a hand forward for his shoulder, stopping onl inches away before realizing she’s coated with blood and she pulls back. “you can’t hide your shit from mami.” she clicks her tongue, wiping her hand on the rag beside her. her skin is stained pink but that doesn’t stop her now from grabbing onto his shoulder. “maybe it’s a bit too early now but if you wanna talk about it, i’m always around. lord knows i like to listen. lords knows i don’t like seein’ you suffer.” she presses her lips together and leans back. “tryin’ times these are and i know you might think it’s same as always, but just as easily might not be.”













