Matsus with S/O who doesn’t want kids
Matsus with s/o who doesn’t want kids:
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Osomatsu: “Hn? –smirks- Were you really thinking so hard about that? Don’t sweat it, you can just take care of me. I’ll be your baby, y/n. –smoochy lips- Plus think of how much money we’ll save! Babies are hella expensive. Plus, I have five brothers, and I know we’re all NEETs but the odds have to be that one of them will give our parents grandchildren. Don’t worry, my brothers will take care of it for us! Now come on. Make me a sandwich <3”
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Karamatsu: “Eh? My serene dove! Are you sure? Don’t tell me you’ve been talking to my brothers. We NEETs may not have the best financial prospects, but money doesn’t equal happiness, non non. The true meaning of love is to share that love with your parents in the form of grandchildren. And not to worry my angel. I will be the most nurturing and protective and mature father that ever lived. I’ve not learned nothing from my father; I will make sure you and our baby have everything you could ever desire! My dazzling dragonfly! I promise! I will be the best father and our children will grow up to be governors! No, Prime Ministers! No, Hedgefund Managers! Yes! And they will be able to provide for us in our old age, and we shall live out the rest of our days in the countryside, where I will serenade you for eternity, dearest puppy…”*rambles on for 5k more years*
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Choromatsu: ‘Ehhhhhhh?!?? Wh-wh-what!?!?!? No! Shit! Okay, calm down Choromatsu! They said they don’t want to have kids now, but maybe they’ll change their mind. Maybe you can change their mind! Yeah, that’s it! Now, what have you been slacking on lately? I didn’t take the garbage out the other night….no, no, no. Something bigger. Did they get there last night…..SHIT! WAS THAT IT?!? OKAY! RELAX CHOROMATSU! All you have to do, is step it up in the bedroom. Yeah, that’s it. Okay. You have to answer them, you idiot! Okay deep breath and….FUCK WHAT ABOUT MOM!? I promised mom I would give her a grandchild! I mean, I’ve moved out now but what if she decides to disown me, or worse, won’t take me in if I mess it up with y/n? She’ll be so upset and there’s no way I’m staying with one of my brothers’ and their girlfriends. I can’t I can’t I can’t. Okay, panicking isn’t helping anything Chioromatsu. Breathe. Answer them…..’ Choromatsu took a deep breath, looking y/n right in the eyes. He’d broken into a cold sweat and was trembling a little bit. He looked like he was about to meet the grim reaper. After a few more dreadfully pregnant pauses, he said, “Come on, now, I think you’re overreacting. You should consult me first before making such a decision on your own. Think about my feelings! Come on, sit down, and let’s consider everything. Surely there must be something you haven’t considered…”
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Ichimatsu: -blank stare- “What? Why so serious? Relax, it’s not like I really care about something like children. They’re loud and greedy, and absolutely arrogant. Besides, cats are so much better.” He smiled, stroking the cat in his lap. “Besides, you woudn’t want to have a child with me. It would probably grow up to be a monster. With my terrible social skills, not to mention lack of parental instincts, we’d probably end up killing the poor creature before it even had a chance. I mean, really, what were you thinking? Seriously; raising a child with me? I thought you were smarter than that. Idiot. All we need is each other. And cats. Now, come here,” –smoochy lips-
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Jyushimatsu: “Ah….Hahaha! Kids?! No, no, we’re definitely not ready for that. The thought honestly….scares me, too, so I’m glad we agree in that area. Haha! What a relief.” Jyushimatsu beamed at y/n. He was very good at hiding how he was truly feeling, that was Jyushimatsu. Ever the enigma. But there was something about what he’d said and the look in his eyes now. It seemed a bit, melancholic. Y/n asked him if he was truly okay with their decision. Jyushimatsu stopped setting the table for dinner and stared at the table for a long while, before his mouth slowly closed and a frown began to appear. Y/n was startled to say the least, looking at their boyfriend’s usually sunshine and cheery face, now marred with a frown. He sighed softly and reached for y/n’s hand. The warm sweater sleeve pressed between them, y/n/ felt a little calmer. “I won’t….I can’t lie to you, y/n. I….I love you. And I want you to make the right decision for you. I support you, regardless of what you decide. The idea of kids scares me….but….it also makes me sad. The thought of, not having kids. That’s totally nonsense, those feelings don’t mix well!” He laughed at himself, his other sleeve rubbing the back of his head. “But the thought of you, raising our child; me helping to raise our child,” he self-corrected quickly, “that thought fills me with a lot of happiness, too! The kind of mega ultra high speed Home Run 5000 kind of happiness!” He shouted, and y/n relaxed with a smile, pressing his hand more firmly in theirs. “Maybe not now, but someday, we could try it. Maybe we should practice first! I’ll go get a baby crocodile, they’re almost like children! Be right back!” –bolts out of the house-
S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.
Totty: “Hm? Oh hoh, I’m glad you came to the same conclusion. I don’t want children either. There’s no way I would want to be a dad. Babies are expensive and terrible. Besides, I have five older brothers and one of them is bound to knock someone up or attempt a kidnapping. And Choromatsu-nii-san already promised mom a grandchild, so we’re saved. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because I’m all the baby you need, right, y/n? Take care of me forever, and I promise I’ll take care of you forever…” –suggestive look with wandering hands-
Hope you guys liked it! This was plus ultra fun to write :3
