Oh, My! @handheldfireflies - Tumblr Blog

“And just like that. I cracked.”

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

“It’s too much of a chore”....

Do you ever just... need a stranger ?

moxis

job interview: we need HAPPY, MOTIVATED people!!

my depressed ass:

thaibrator

ok im done talking about lady gaga………….for now…………..

6937529469274696869-deactivated

me while my best friend gives birth

pussysestra

great opportunity to sing born this way

cagaderamental

megheadmed

You need.. you need to unmute…

cobaltdays-deactivated20210208

I’ve waited too long to find this gem again!

colombian-jacob-49

This is perfection 😂

did-you-know

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belovedsheith

I am American and I have never seen photos like this. I had no idea there are borders like this. Even though I LOVE the idea of open borders, I am staring at these pictures like “wait…people can just…walk across some stones or grass and BE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY??? and nobody stops them?? how does that WORK?!” So you can tell that my country’s propaganda has gotten to me by convincing me that this CAN’T work even though…it…obviously can. These pics just seem unreal to me. I’ve been taught my whole life that this can’t exist. In 27 years no one has ever sat me down and gone, look, here’s how it is elsewhere. It isn’t impossible at all.