Once he was satisfied with everything he’d written he folded the piece of paper neatly. Writing a letter was certainly old fashioned these days but in his opinion it was far more touching than sending the same message via mobile.
He checked his watch for the third time within few minutes. The King was late. The former idol remembered well that the scheduled moment for the next order was supposed to be at 8 am. He started to clean away the dishes from the small desk in front of his couch to bring them back to the kitchen when the door opened and he turned his attention towards it as he held the plates with a glass on top of them. The folded letter was hidden in the pocket of his pants.
“What happened?” He asked with immediate concern at the obvious wrecked state of his remaining brother. “Oh God .. is Dara-chan alright? Please tell me she is alright,” he inquired cautiously after a painful silence. He started to curse the King violently in his mind, his heart sinking further as he helplessly watched Matsujun. He was oblivious to the sick and horrifying secret mission this poor guy had been cursed with.
The new order hit him like a brick in the face - and that still being nice about it. He had to either kill his best friend, or his fiance. Neither of those two were an option in his head, needless to say, but if he didn’t do something, he’d lose both of them. And at least Sho he had promised that, if it came down to it, Sho would die by his hand and no one else’s. But still..
Either way, he had to make a decision. And it took him a long time. But in the end, after a lot of inner turmoil, he decided that it would have to be Sho. Not because he cared and loved Dara more, or because it would be easier for him to kill his brother, rather than his fiance. But because he knew that Sho had lost nearly everything. He himself was the only thing Sho had left. And Sho had already decided himself he wouldn’t make it to the finale anyway. In a way, it would be cruel of Jun not to choose Sho. Because what if - hypothetically - Jun would choose Dara, would kill her and not Sho? Jun would be broken, and no longer any use whatsoever, he knew that much. Then who would be there to support and care for Sho? And what if worse came to worse, and Jun would be killed before Sho and Sho would win this cruel game, leaving him with literally nothing?
No, it had to be Sho. Even if the only way he could do it was by clinging to the excuse that he had made a promise to him to be the one to do it.
So, after contemplating for a long while which weapon to choose, Jun grabbed the knife. Using a gun would be.. Too impersonal. You used a gun to kill whenever you didn’t want to feel responsible. Jun wanted to feel responsible. He wanted to know and remember what he did. And besides, using a gun would be far more painful, far more brutal, could do far more damage. And given that he wasn’t allowed to instantly kill Sho, that wasn’t an option whatsoever. With a knife.. Of course it would still hurt, but it wouldn’t be as cruel.
Hiding the knife between the belt and pants in his back, Jun finally gathered all the strength he could muster, and made his way to Sho’s room. After Sho opened to door and greeted him with immediate concern, Jun felt like sinking to his knees and crying instead. How in the world was he supposed to do this? Pulling himself together somehow though, he just forced a sad smile and shook his head.
“Dara is fine. I mean.. As fine as you could be, I guess.” Sighing quietly, Jun stepped inside and closed the door behind himself, while resting his head against the door for a few seconds. Once again gathering strength, he turned around and avoided to even do as much as glance at Sho.
Clearing his throat, he finally looked up at Sho. “How are you holding up?”
prguitarman
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
