𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.

she was up with the sun. she always is. it’s the fourth of july again and she doesn’t know how that’s possible. but god, is she tired of dreading this day. growing up this was the day she looked forward to. every single year. like clockwork. it was scientifically proven that the fourth of july is even more fun at summer camp, it just is. it makes her feel so sad. she just wants the magic back, she just wants to feel like her old herself again. not to feel like someone so completely broken. yeah, maybe all of this grief was just love and she needed to feel it, but it was so draining. an entire year of grief. it’s a miracle that she made it through the year. that they both made it because for awhile? everything was so touch and go. it still feels like it some days. hardest year of their lives. she didn’t know how people did it, moved forward, but if she learned anything is that even on the darkest night, the sun will always come up.

a sea of red, white, blue floods the camp grounds as it often does on this day. keira is keeping herself busy, just like any other day. she has to. it keeps her mind off things and genuinely makes her feel better. there’s face paint on her cheek as she makes her way through the camp. currently it was treats galore. s’mores, rocket pops, ice cream, snacks, and her in case? a circular red velvet cake in a white box, trying to pull off what she couldn’t two years ago and if she drops it, she’s gonna burst into tears. “you better not be full of s’mores, rosati,” the girl scolded as she made her way back to her husband. “because i’ve got something way better,” she grinned excitedly, excited to show him what was made for them. “oh, is that my first love shane gray?” her attention turned to the screen which was playing camp rock before shaking her head, “no, i’m just kidding, we all know troy bolton was my first love.”

#after the storm something was born on the fourth of july.

the fourth of july. an otherwise jovial holiday that extended to the very homeland of camp eagle ridge summers. for the last fateful two years, it had been nothing if not intense and melancholy. each time the day rolled and reared its ugly head, it was a stoke reminder of the day of the wedding, and similarly, the day that transpired a whole three hundred and sixty five days later in losing their little girl. there was a numb, dull ache that simmered in the bottom of his chest, his already malformed heart weakened by the disease that thrusted this entire holiday into infamous history. the depression had unfurled into a tumultuous divide in the relationship between husband and wife. each milestone was represented by the pain and suffering they had been dealt in such a reprieved time. the devastation of the thought of losing keira made the now young adult acrid with grief. now? it resembled a moment of the past, to push forward in improvement. streaks of satin blue and crimson red chalk lined under each chiseled cheek bone, bony knees tucked beneath his chest as he accrued a blanketed square inch of the camp that wasn’t covered with preteens.

tuffs of creme white fur tumbled around the forest green grass, panting frivolously before perching himself at the foot of one of his owners. “hey, little buddy. you having some fun? go say hi, all the kids love you, casp. you’re the talk of the camp, yes you are,” matteo melodically resounded, the samoyed puppy’s ears perking up at the gentle praise. almond hues observed as the puppy barked in response playfully, both hands now petting the long mane of the dog as he found his rightful spot nuzzled in beside matteo. as the movie that dazzled along the wide screen of the nearby pier dock, the catchy who will i be song rang into the ears of the entirety of the camp, camp rock. severing the trance he was seemingly in, the curly headed counselor’s cheeks blushed a soft tint of pink, an involuntary smile pursing from his lips, lining from ear to ear. his wife. the reason he was still alive. “you’re almost right; it was a rocket pop. casper helped me finish it, i swear. but i won’t say no to a s’more after dark, what do you say?” he chimed, orbs dilated with undulating adoration. “what is that you have here, my darling wife? here, let me help you,” offering his arms out for her, matty’s gaze fell from keira to the box at hand. a playful irl of his eyes at her words, sarcasm seeping through. “hm, i guess i have bad hearing as well as a bad heart because i’m sure you mean matteo, but i’ll let it slide because it’s a very special day,” the skater concluded, an index finger swiping across auburn haired beauty’s nose mischievously.

keiraportcr:

july eighth. keira’s beating heart was ripped out from her chest four days ago. maybe it was a miracle that she survived in the first place. but it didn’t feel like one. there was just a gaping hole in the middle of her chest. they could stop the physical bleeding, but what about her heart? the heart that for the past four days that had felt so bloodied and bruised she didn’t know how it was still functioning. she didn’t know how people did it. astoria. the prettiest girl in the universe who wasn’t meant for an earth side life, as fate would have it. it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t her fault. was all she had been told, but how could she believe that? it was her job to keep their daughter safe. logically there was a part of her that knew it was out of her control. that things happen and no one knows why. yet, it still wasn’t good enough. it would never be good enough. it wasn’t enough to stop this pain. so now all she could do was sit. sit there in this hurt, try to push past the worst pain she’s ever been in. until up until four days ago, she would’ve said last year was the worst pain she’s ever dealt with. yet, if life didn’t have a cruel way of upstaging itself. keira rosati: ever the optimist, a sunny disposition, that just felt… dimmed. like all the light that had ever been in her was suddenly turned off, drained if anything, and keira didn’t know how to turn it back on. not for lack of trying either. a fluffy cream dog rested his head on her lap softly, not wanting to leave her side since they got home, therefore taking a break from his very important job running around camp eagle ridge. furthering the fact that animals just know. “oh, come on, sweet boy, you don’t wanna play with the kids?” the auburn haired girl managed a small smile as she petted his soft fur, puppy dog eyes looking up at her in response. “they just love you,”

there was a dulling ache that settled into matteo’s bone like a disease. and then what was once a debilitating hurt became a solitude of numbness. distance. the sickening pull of grief had sunk into his every bone like a sliding buzzsaw, gliding effortlessly until it met the ground. he was sliced and wounded with every emotion possible. the valleys he had attempted to keep covered from any outward influence. the four days that the couple had left without their child were the worst he had ever experienced. matteo would call himself an openly sensitive being, until that day. it had all come to a briefing halt. at least in front of his wife. his helplessness in making the situation resolved was inevitably failing him. there was simply no words of comfort or silver lining to create a pseudo reassurance. a heavy sigh fell from parted lips as the curly headed boy leaned himself forward on the living room couch, both hands detaching from the fabric. slender, nimble fingers coiled together in a soft clap to get the pet full of crisp, snow white fur’s attention. “hey, buddy, what is it? what’s wrong with my baby,” the words escaped like oxygen covering the boundary that was set between husband and wife. offering an outstretched arm into his direction, matteo’s solemn expression with his sunken eyes emitting empathy with his actions. it wasn’t a difficult answer as he already knew of the puppy’s innate intuition. there was simply no strategy in asserting otherwise. “i’ll go tell the campers their favourite mascot’s just doesn’t have the energy to roam around camp today. i’ll be back,” he confirmed, exiting out of the front door of their home and along his path to make the announcement, while fighting the collapsing brigade of tears to keep from streaming down stung apple-red eyes.

keiraportcr:

keira had never given much thought of how she would die. but does anyone ever? she always assumed she’d be old. old and peacefully after living the best life. yet, with the sharpest pain shooting through out her body and her literally bleeding out on the cabin floor, she couldn’t help but think that maybe that day was coming sooner than anticipated. was this some kind of sick joke ? a year to the day that held so much pain? they used to have fun fourth of julys. no worries, no pain, just careless summer fun. she’d give anything to go back to those days. they were too young for this shit. the girl felt herself go in and out of consciousness as the people she loved around her rushed. her body fighting with itself in the process. keira was so tired, just so, so tired. maybe so much that she wondered if she was going into shock. “ it — hurts so much,” she winced, burying her head into her husband’s chest. “god, it hurts.”

calum’s speeding off began the tumultuous car ride of zero recognizance. soft, brown hues blurred into puddles of mud, the streamline of tears that continued to volcanically erupt down the red tone of his cheeks soon finding gravity to the shoulder of his wife. matteo’s head nestled deep into her neck, his breathing minimal and heavy, near hyperventilating as clammy hands clutched onto every part of her he could grab onto. his fingertips escaped from her back to her sides, though careful not to meet her midsection. her pleas of discomfort brought on another flood of emotion, his already mourning heart desperately panging against his thickly-chambered chest. nodding into her collarbone, matty lifted his swollen face up as he spoke up. “i know it does, key. just squeeze my hand, can you breathe for me?” he quipped quietly, attempting to mask his fear with as much reassurance as he could muster. offering the palm that was once reserved to support her legs, he momentarily parted it to clasp around one of keira’s smaller ones. inhaling a shaky breath, the teen began to initiate somewhat of an exercise, releasing the air trapped in his lungs to aid in keeping his wife’s psyche at bay. “when it hurts just squeeze the shit out of my hand, okay? i can take it,” he stated in a soft hushed tone, before long seeing the creme white building of the er come into view. when the car came to a stop at the emergency entrance, matty kept a secure hold onto the precious cargo in his arms, before being met with a gurney and individuals clattering at every angle to define what was wrong. “it’s my wife. i believe she passed out this morning and she’s bleeding…she’s bleeding pretty badly. she’s pregnant…” his words felt foreign as they emitted from his lips, a numb sensation overtaking him, as if he were departing from his own body and observing the interaction from above. to be on the opposing end of the situation as a year prior felt worse, helpless at the mercy of what would transpire beyond the sliding doors. his hand never left at least grazing a single square inch of her skin to his, until the chaos of the flurry of nurses began to slowly pry him away from her. “i love you, keira! key…i….” it was once the gurney had been pushed into the guarded area, that his lanky frame crumbled into a pile on the floor. he had melded into the reversion of the man he was just this morning. the cool sensation of the waxed linoleum floor was a greeted contrast to the excess heat that radiated from every orface of the boy’s body. “hey, m..” calum’s familiar voice filling through one ear and out the other as firm hands gripped onto the padding of each shoulder of his. “i just talked to the front desk and they’ll let us know when they know something. it could be awhile. do you want us to take you home?” without a second thought, dark curls shook atop of his head in response, sniffling what fear, anticipation, anxiety and altogether mixture was flowing through his veins. “i want to be here…she was here for me, i need to be here for her. i’m not leaving,” he urged, openly sobbing into the crook of the vacant shoulder that seemingly belonged to calum as he cradled the teen into an enveloped embrace, having no plans of moving from his molded position on the waiting room floor. as his feet grazed the legs of standing chairs, he couldn’t bring himself to sit up, let alone stand. if this was how it felt to be near to losing the reason for his heart to beat every single day, he would rather drown.

keiraportcr:

one year. three hundred and sixty five days since the last fourth of july. keira couldn’t fathom how fast and also slow time could have gone. a year of the rosati last name being at the end of hers. july had become such a hard month and truthfully, she couldn’t wait for it to be over. there was a certain amount of anxiousness, even more so when she found out she was pregnant. she had spent a summer so far hiding it underneath baggy shirts, her friends and husband constantly running around to make sure she was okay. but okay meant many things and baby rosati surely knew how to make keira sick. therefore it was a summer of water, gatorade, pedialyte and just wishing july would pass.

something’s wrong, something wrong. that was the only thought that was coursing through her brain. a sharp pain shot her abdomen as if someone had just stuck a knife right through her. “brooke,” the girl breathed out as she held onto the bathroom sink, trying to steady herself. she was fine, she was fine. she’s fine because she has to be. “key, i already told you everything’s gonna be okay, okay?” her best friend tried to reassure her from the other side of the room, not really looking at her directly as she stayed occupied. “everything’s gonna be fine. don’t worry,” keira wanted to believe that so badly, but as she felt something dripping, her life flashed right before her eyes. “n-no, b-brooke,” the auburn haired girl stuttered, her hand stained with blood as she removed it from her abdomen to show her best friend. immediately feeling her legs start to go numb from right under her. brooke’s smile quickly turned into widened eyes in complete horror, taking no time in rushing to catch her, phone in hand as she checked her pulse. “keira, oh my god, oh my god,” the dark haired girl struggled to breath, clicking the closest contact. c. calum. “keira passed out and there’s so much blood. there’s just so much blood,”

the weather that plagued the outside borders of the grassy knoll — that hadn’t witness a spit of rain all summer — was a combination of stuffy hazes of uncomfortable warmth and sticky wet condensation. a relatively normal pattern in the dog days of the tip of july, but a near fallible prediction into the holiday’s proceedings. the earlier strips of time spent on the summer camp ground were a fond time lapse of returnable memories, a walk of the lane that had guided the pair in the here and now. seemingly everything felt catastrophically differing, yet were a careful nod that at the heart of it all, this very destination held all familiarity of a bleak childhood. heavy hazel hues wore weighted as each passing thoughts that filtered through the teen’s mind was his wife. it had been a handful of minutes since his text had successfully delivered, leaving a questioning brow to arch onto his forehead as he waited a couple more seconds for a response that would never be received. after the frantic stint that caught hold of the nuptials the year before, it was now matty’s turn to heave the brunt of worry and concern when it came to keira’s health. as if the moment after she’d told him of the news of the baby, his shoulders casted an aura of anxiety and fear. to a point he almost felt silly of voicing audible mistrusts as to how the auburn haired beauty was handling the physicality of such a task.

each day was a delve into uncharted territory of touch and go, which the boy could only have gathered it to be a fleshed out version of karma due to the incident that befell the couple on this exact same day. his features permanently etched with fine lines that were light paths of a roadmap, the onset guilt that he was consequently helpless in being of any aid to his wife in this time of need. every so often he was sure the girl had heard him utter the very same sentence every minute of the awoken day: how are you feeling? are you okay? it didn’t take a pristine 4.0 gpa to acknowledge that despite her constant batting of his worries only instilled the fear even deeper into the chambers of his malformed chest. suddenly, the mono-ringtone of his best man’s phone filled the four corners of the cabin, thus chiming matteo out of the trance he was unknowingly in. “hey, brooke..” a rotund arm clung to the cellular device pressed gently to his ear, an eerie beat of silence averting the boy’s attention as his irises flickered up to meet calum’s own pair. before the taller male could even formulate a cognizant response, cheekbones dropped into a near expressionless countenance of terror, directly resulting in matteo to arise from the edge of the plastic bed cover, a shaking hand fumbling through a head of distressed brown curls. “holy shit,” calum expelled, and it was in that moment that he knew. the gaping off beat of his heart began to excelerate at warped speed. leaving the foot of the messenger in front of him, matteo all but dashed out of the now opened wooden door frame and catapulted himself with as much speed as his slowed down body could carry him to where brooke and keira inhabited. leaving calum in his wake of an unfinished reliance of information that in his soul he was dreading would happen. something’s wrong, something’s definitely wrong, it wasn’t until he transported himself to the door, balled up fists of adrenaline rapping at every angle before he twisted the knob himself “where is she?” matty trudged inside, his words slurred as he paved a path into the bathroom as the couples screams belonging to brooke gave him access into finding her. each second that passed was a blur as he immediately kneeled to the lip of the floor in front of him, shaky hands unable to hold still as one of his palms carefully brushed over her forehead, the other hooked into the small of her back. “i’m right here, baby. it’s gonna be okay. okay? you can trust me,” eyes of muddy brown now flooded with a cool stream of tears that lined each cheek. a numb fell over the boy as if he couldn’t feel a single morsel of anything. his body was apparatused into a dreamlike state, where waking up felt like the only option to escape from a nightmare such as this.

blurry hues descended to the presence of red, his conscience milling through the possibilities that were already somehow a familiar blanket of suffocation, now with the air supply completely severed. “brooke, get your keys. we have to get her to a hospital, call 911 and tell them we’re on our way. we have to go, now,” though his words felt firm to any wondering ear, his tone was nothing if not scarcely calm. if there was one thing he couldn’t do was show fear in the eyes of crystalline ice that he’d fallen for in every single moment since they met. gathering her small frame into both hands, the guitarist feverishly made his careful journey to the backseat of the car, now with the company of their two friends joined in the front. “please stay with me, keira. please don’t let go, i need you,” he uttered all the while the running stream of tears continued to not hole up. if only he could wake up.

“get up, mr. porter. it’s do over day!” callum’s antagonizingly cheery, melodic tone reverberated through the confines of the four wooden walls of half moon cabin. a bushel of curly brown locks shuffled from one lukewarm side of the pillow to a steadily more cooler one as a groan fell from dry, chapped strawberry red lips. the lanky tanned giant peeled the folded thread of the thinly sliced faux cloth curtain that draped over the windowsills. sunlight spilled through the cracks like a knocked over glass of water. slowly seeping into the closed slits of matteo’s meshed forrest green and muddy brown orbs, they slowly resolved to the daybreak that the now nineteen year old had yet to anticipate. if the counselor were honest, the true constant concern ringing through his frontal cortex as he were conscious was his wife. his pregnant wife. it had only been a matter of eight hours, however a nagging worry was wedged in between his skull, faulting to which he could barely recollect that today was an annual occasion. how did she sleep? did she get sick? if she did get sick, was it often? was she drinking enough water? all surmounted subjects regarding keira’s wellbeing seemed to dominate his every waking moment. though his malformed heart beat on its own, each skipped beat was quickly excused as a deprecating memory that it had been three hundred and sixty five days. three hundred and sixty five days since the rosatis world had at once collided with elation paired with an underlay of fear.

a day that had lived to torment the now nineteen year old the more that time had passed. all it took was one slip of a frazzled mind, one forgetful dismissal and thus caused him to skip one day of medication that he was dependent on. in one fell swooped the lines blurred between reciting his wedding vows to collapsing onto the solar green grass as fireworks popped up into smoke in the oregon air. the backdrop of what was — at the time — a serene, secluded private affair where two souls became one. and the first few minutes, even days, as husband wife were spent in a sterile, Lysol-infested hospital. each day matteo clung on for dear life as he knew there was a reason for him to hold on. that reason was a five-foot-three, rosy-cheeked, raven-haired bundle of spunk who was waiting for him. it was his motivation to pull through the darkness. and now, twelve months later, they were about to add another reason of existence.

it would be a gross understatement to say that matteo often couldn’t go one hour in the day without worrying for his wife. the past few months had been a learning curve for the both of them. a puppy was one thing. in fact, it was a perceivable first step into the growing family tree. and as a head full of ringlets turned himself onto his back, a wide-stretched hand immediately palmed the miniature ultrasound picture that lay against the arched lamp by his bedside. a gentle thumb scrolled over the dark black overcast, a blip the size of a golfball in a grey tone. their baby. pressing the laminated photo to his lips, matty carefully placed the picture back onto the bedside, his free hand already reaching for his phone. despite the age old tradition of never seeing the significant other the day before the wedding, it caused more panic to settle in the ridges of his chest. like a disease aching to spread like wildfire. “good morning, my wife. i can’t wait to marry you today. again. in fact, i can’t wait to dance with you as if we are the only two people left in this world. how are you feeling? can i get you anything? please be careful. if you need me please let me know. screw tradition, i miss you. love, your matty.”

it was still a surreal conceivable notion, that they had a chance to do things over their way, at the same place as before. and maybe that was a superstitious idea, but if there was one thing about camp eagle ridge, it was that it felt like home, even more so than albuquerque. so what if the first time had gone awry? lightning rarely strikes twice, right?

#cause i know all i need is on the other side of the door.

keiraportcr:

everything stops as soon as she’s in her husband’s arms. the love she has for matteo rosati is out of this world and it somehow manges to grow stronger every single day. it wasn’t possible to be this in love with someone, it just simply wasn’t. the safest place was wherever he was. truthfully, she was scared. so utterly terrified in this moment. pregnancy was never not risky. so many things that could go wrong and after last year, keira was hyper aware of it all. sometimes she wasn’t, but…. it was something she couldn’t help. burying her face in his chest, the tears continued to fall. no matter how much she didn’t want them to. safety. security. things that could trump the overwhelming anxiety that made its home in her chest. “no, i’m… okay. just kind of nauseous, that’s all.” keira responded with a shake of her head. the migraine from crying so much already starting to form. “i want to be happy about it so bad, matty.” and there it was. all the anxiety that piled up was now slipping through the cracks of pink lips. well, no more secrets. “someone that’s half you, half me. everything i love about you in one tiny person, but last year was just so draining and i’m scared of something happening. to you, to me, me not being here.” everything being out in the open made her feel so exposed. keira porter rosati wanted to pride herself on being a rock. someone who people could come to in a time of need, but that meant she also needed to lean on people too. “and then i feel guilty for not being happy about it.”

leading his wife to the edge of the bed they both shared, he carefully balled his free hand into a fist to fluff the pillow that swam in the ocean of covers that haphazardly were tossed to each corner of the mattress. gesturing for her to lay down, he delicately propped both feet up, before his free hand stroked her perfectly porcelain forehead that reflected a more pale countenance than he was used to. of course, casper followed in behind them, his tiny feet bouncing up to meet the foot of the bed. breaking contact for a brief minute, matty tended to the puppy as he lifted his small body into the seeming abyss of blankets as he sniffed his way closer to keira. nudging his body into her side, he kept his head above as crystal blue eyes met with the nineteen year olds. the boy’s features remained etched with worry, a metaphorical and gravitational pull weighing down like a heavy brick in his chest. “do you think you can keep down some saltines? maybe ginger ale? i’ll make you some soup,” he offered quite frantically, hues scanning continuously over his wife as he assessed her needs. health had now been an impending concern in the rosati household. being born with a broken heart that he hadn’t yet realized until just two years before this moment, it was him quietly chastising himself with even the idea of burdening her with this disease for as long as they lived. there was no cure, only a tedious management of it that he obvious couldn’t succeed in a year ago. though he has matured, if only slightly as he realized that his life was not his own anymore, but keira’s as well. “hey,” he mused, the pad of his thumb caressing the apple of her cheek to hopefully reassure her. “this is a lot to take in. it’s a big step. don’t stress yourself out about it, babe. you’ve been doing a lot of that on my behalf. it’s my turn now,” matty hushed, his thumb trailing to dust over her bottom lip, brushing every crease in her border as if he were counting them one by one. “in my heart, there is no one else i can imagine will be as fitted with any label that you will be as a mom. i know that. you’ve always been so nurturing, and caring, and kind. man, you have the kindest heart i’ve ever known. nothing will happen to you, i will fight until my last breath for you. it’s okay to feel scared. it’s a scary thing. but what i know is, is as long as i’m doing this life with you, nothing can be that scary. we can take one step at a time, okay? this is life changing, and i don’t blame you. you’re allowed to feel that way, just know you’re not alone, you’re never alone,” he emphasized, folding his fingers underneath her palm as he brought her knuckles up to his lips, feathering them over the ridge of his cupid’s bow. “i’m going to go get some supplies, i’ll be right back,”

keiraportcr·:

very few moments in her life had her heart racing so fast she thought she might pass out on the spot. confessing how much she loved her best friend over the phone that september night, seeing her boyfriend in person for the first time in nine months, that last july fourth. and now… this. it should’ve been a no. she wasn’t expecting a positive. yes they talked about it before, but it was under the impression that it’d be years before anything like that would happen. that right now the two of them were content with just their dog. then a sudden wave of guilt washed over her. so strong that it felt like it could drown. so many people waited years for this type of answer and here she was feeling like this. the sound of her husband’s voice coming through the door set off a certain calmness in a sea of pure anxiety. just like it often did. taking another a deep breath, the auburn haired girl rose from her spot on the floor. making a note to wipe her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt, even though it’d be obvious to anyone, especially him, that she’d been crying. opening up the door, exhausted blue eyes met her husband’s mocha ones and the ones of their pup right next to him. “matty….” keira’s voice was soft, yet cracked at every inch as seeing him made her want to start crying even more. her sleeves once again going up to wipe any more that happen to fall. “ i’m sorry. i just…” no words.

balls of creamy white fur padded at the lip of the door frame, a soft bark escaping casper’s wagging tongue followed by a sharp wince. the samoyed being capable of picking up on the wavering of tension that rippled through the air like an electric current. with the test now laid on the floor beside him, it wasn’t the answer that caused immediate intimidation as the commanding emotion that simmered inside of him. it was the prompt turn of a heel of concern that etched into the features of matty’s face. the boy was in a limbo of conflict when it came to taking this news in stride. upon the door now opening to reveal the auburn haired beauty from behind it, the counselor required the upmost will power to keep himself from attacking her with an impromptu embrace, clinging to her as if his life depended on it. the sound of her faint voice perked at his ears, a sinking sensation weighing down every pulse of his heart that passed him by. shaking a head full of curls, soft hands threaded up to cup both her cheeks into his grasp. a thumb stroked the paleness of her face as his dark hues made contact with her cerulean ones. witnessing the love of his life in disarray lead to an onset of uncontrollable tears the steam at the corners of his eyes. sniffing the urge to allow the tears to fall down his own cheek, he finally pulled himself in closer proximity to her, evaporating the distance between them. long arms coiled around her middle, covering her sides as his palms rustled up her sides up and down at an attempt to bring her safety. “don’t apologize, it’s okay to cry. it’s okay to feel. its overwhelming, i know. i love you more than life itself, and we can get through this, i promise you,” he mused, hands now locked up to meet to her shoulders so his grip circulated around her arms. all the while with an emittance of puppy whines sprinkled into the background noise that melted into reality. “how are you feeling? can i get anything for you?” pulling away hesitantly, matty released his grasp on her, before the palm of his hand pressed against her forehead, to assess keira’s temperature. the other grazing over her stomach in a swift, fluid motion before meeting back to her side. “everything’s okay, i’ve got you,”

#cause i know all i need is on the other side of the door.

pace. all she can do is pace up and down the bathroom. this cannot be happening. no, they’re nineteen. they’re nineteen and they’re too young for this. nineteen and coming off the longest year of their lives. they haven’t even been married a whole year yet. camp was starting in a few weeks, this cannot be happening. this summer was supposed to be better than the last. last summer was… traumatic. camp eagle ridge was supposed to be a safe place. everything was okay now but their safe place would always be tainted. as the one year anniversary of everything approached, keira found herself becoming sick. certain smells triggering a nauseating headache. maybe it was nothing, maybe it was just the ptsd from the looming one year. stress. it was unlikely that it was anything else, right? well…. the pregnancy tests on the counter beg to differ. it’s fine, it’s fine. they’ll be negative and that’ll be the end of that. they have to be negative. she watches as the timer on her phone hits zero. one word. one word is all it takes to change the aspect of their lives forever. all she has to do is look over at the tests. yet, the auburn haired girl can’t bring herself to do just that. her husband on the other side of the door. maybe she could get him to look at them for her. yeah, maybe… maybe she just has to rip off the band-aid. taking a deep breath, her eyes shut for second as she took the capped test in her hands. pregnant. the words on the test were as clear as day. keira hurried to grab the other test. pregnant. the word enough to bring her to her knees. who says the bathroom floor wasn’t a suitable place to sit? tears prick at her eyes as she brings her knees up to her chest. there’s that nauseating, sinking feeling in her chest again. hands slid the positive test underneath the door where she knew her matty was waiting. now all she could do was wait.

#cause i know all i need is on the other side of the door.

sweat coated the unusually soft palms of the counselor as the thrust of his heartbeat intensified within each second that passed. less than three hundred days lapsed between the eerie milestone of what could be dully described as the most joyous and petrifying day of the young couple’s lives. welcoming in a new season, a clean slated chapter that begun with a bang. fireworks were set off that day, along sith the calamity of wedding bells and a cluster of ambulance sirens blaring in the camp eagle ridge distance. the very day matty repeated the words i do to his wife, was the same day he nearly lost his life. ever since the curly headed boy was introduced to the side of life that included astoria, oregon summer camps, his heart had been clutched into the small grasp of one keira porter. it was almost comical of how hare he truly fell, with no control or permission to do so. as he retorted those vows on their wedding day, he had never been more serious or more adamant to keep the promises that he made known to not only the public, but his wife herself. as she had done from the jump of their marriage, when the emphasized line in sickness and in health, with an everlasting meaning. since that fourth of july, the simple concept of being married, a husband, a partner — it all became a notion of disbelief. disbelief that matteo had come to this point in life where he had found his person. he could never imagine a second of living without her again. no more distance stood between them. no more space divided them. no more time split between the three briskly passing months to cram every second awake with one another. that very night he awoke from his a coma, it was almost as if the skater had a refurbished lease on life. they shared a home now, with a dog, who at this very moment was laid at an attentive perch across the boy’s high top converse covered feet. his icy blue hues blinking back and forth with his tongue lolling in a pant at the ready for any movement matty was anticipated to make. one of his warm, clammy digits combed through his lawn of white fur, the long tuffs of creamy white blading through his fingers like a sharpened knife. a goofily small smile crested upon chapped, cherry red lips as he leaned over to spot the top of casper’s head with a kiss. “who’s a sweet boy?” a small nugget of praise falling from opened borders, allowing matteo to relax even if slightly at that. it was a welcomed distraction as his back grew taut against the bulk of the beige bathroom door. knees crept up to meet his chin as the assortment of possibility stormed and dominated every single thought that crossed the nineteen year old’s mind. and within an instant more, there was a clacking slide that echoed through the bridge of silence in the cabin walls. mocha brown hues hesitated over the object that was now in full view, only twirled downward as the result was facing the hard wooded floor. “key?” crept from the bottom of his chest, the one word cracking in tone from sheer nervous apprehension as to what the answer could be. but his first priority was his wife. was she okay? was she upset? as he sat there frozen in place, it took several seconds before shaking hands rattled against the safe end of the test. soft eyes soon etched themselves into a knitted furrow, teeth clamped onto the flesh of the inside of his lip. after staring down at the test for what felt like a millennium and yet a nanosecond all at once, matty pressed his free hand to the door frame that severed himself from keira altogether. “baby, may i please open the door?” he inquired softly, though his tone was desperate, he didn’t want to beg for imposed inclusion if the current distance was what she needed in that moment.

matteorosati·:

it merely went without saying that the first month of marriage — hell, the first day of marriage — hadn’t treated the rosatis kindly. despite the fact that there wasn’t a happier groom than matteo, it was a culmination of: the pure want to give his future wife a wedding they could share fond memories of, to revel in the fact that he was about to marry the girl that he had fallen in love with at the tender age of seven years, and to act as if he could handle the first adult task of managing his own medical mystery on his own. but in fact, it backfired. there wasn’t much matty could recall from the moment he collapsed to the second his eyes opened to seeing his flustered and watery eyed wife that at the time was confusing him more than ever before. he had damaged her, he knew that. it was a time the couple would never forget, so when the curly headed teen stumbled upon the idea of having a pet it was the only thing that circulated in his mind. and within the next day, he was following his way home with a bundle of creamy white fur tucked into his chest. coming upon the summer camp that was the married couple home away from home, the soft echoes of the puppy’s squeaks reverberated off of his torso. “oh my goodness, little bud. it’s okay, you’re alright, i know you’re scared. you’re in a new place you know nothing about, but i promise you’re about to meet a girl that’s gonna make it all better,” the boy hushed to the trembling pup before racking a gentle knock on the cabin door. “honey, i’m home,” the eighteen year old announced, twisting the doorknob open with a click, while his other hand’s thumb stroked the dog’s fur with a delicate touch. “babe? i’ve got someone you want to meet,”

one day at a time. when it felt like the auburn haired girl was completely in over her head, she just had to remind herself to take everything one day a time, hour by hour, even minute by minute. to take everything in stride and lean on the people she loved that loved her right back. it’s not like she expected marriage to be easy, but wow were they dealt a shitty hand fast. but it was okay. they had to make it okay. after all, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel, right? things could only go up from here. that’s what she was sticking to. the sound of her husband’s voice broke through the trail of her never ending thoughts as she rushed to meet him. the sight of the boy she loved and the fluffiest puppy she had ever seen made her heart simply melt. she was a puddle. “oh my god, he’s so perfect,” keira beamed, her excitement shooting through the roof. “look at you. oh, you’re just the cutest thing i ever did see,. hi, baby.”

a pair of mocha hues stayed glued to the small dog, brushing his cheek alongside his paws that cling for dear life on his arm. a few sputtered quiet barks fell from the puppy’s mouth when they passed through the cabin entrance, eyes now focused on the girl’s voice who was seemingly speaking directly to him. carefully, matty removed his paws from his arm and placed him in his wife’s hands. a soft hand petted down his fur, his fingers curling beneath the tuffs of white that peaked through his skin. “isn’t he? i couldn’t say no when we locked eyes. it was like he was made for us. and he came at just the right time,” he explained, before deciding to rifle through the appropriate paperwork that was attached to the dog. “it says here that he’s six weeks old, the runt of the litter and nine pounds. he’s completely healthy and has a majority of his shots,” he read aloud, skimming to the more important information. once finished, he brought his gaze up to keira, a glint of a smile curling at the corners of his lips. “what does momma think of you, pup? is she in love?” he inquired, his tone pitched an octave higher, nose crinkled to follow.

this was undoubtedly the longest summer of her life. she arrived in june dating her best friend, got engaged that same month, married in july, the rest of the fourth and a week after that spent in the hospital where she found out her husband kept a heart condition from her. but now the calendar flipped to august after the longest month of her life. the last few weeks of camp were finally winding down. keira wants to say she feels better, but more anything, she feels stressed. in a constant state of panic. no matter how much matteo reassures her, that yes he did take his meds and he feels fine, she can’t but always want to check on him. to make sure he’s breathing at night, so much that it feels impossible for herself to sleep, just to make sure he’s okay. the sight of him unconscious in her arms at their wedding was a sight that never strayed far from her mind. yes, this might’ve been the longest and most traumatic summer of her life, but there was some good moments too. the moments that made everything else seem small in comparison. matteo rosati was the person she loved most in the world. and he got her a dog. a dog. an addition to their little family. maybe this summer wasn’t a total bust after all.