I hate my brother

26/ An official goffard / He/him (so don't call me she) Derek's younger brother / RP ACCOUNT FOR HEADCANONS!

[mattgoffardofficial]

You probably entered here on purpose right? I created this account to spite my older brother Derek and to make your dreams come true if you’ve been obsessing over me

[lucifers16ducks]

I have news.

So I’m going to take a break from Tumblr meaning I’m gonna log out

meaning I’m not gonna come back including from the fandom

KPDH

TPOF

BTE

etc.

after the thing with my friend/role model @ligmaballsbaby

I’m having a break from three of my accounts so I’m sorry if your asks don’t get asked from either @celialede18 and @mattgoffardofficial

I’m too busy..

and after seeing my friend’s post I too have something to confess..

(not being a copycat or an attention seeker)

When I said I was uncomfortable about my age? Yeah no I’m not 19 I’m a minor

I learned from my mistakes and will not be coming back

Sorry to those who I looked up to such as birdie and Shypinkflower

I’m too busy with school since it’s been acting up and yeah

Also I’m just dumb of what to do when replying to asks including in my Matt account

@theshypinkflower @horriblengrossstories

I know I don’t know you guys or you guys don’t know me so report me, block me, stop interacting me is okay really

If my friend goes, I go too so it’s fair

goodbye.

🦆 out

[mattgoffardofficial]

Saw your brother making out with a dude

I KNEW HE WAS GAY!

[mattgoffardofficial]

I married your brother.

He is not yet aware, but he signed what he THOUGHT was a package but really it was a marriage license. Hes mine now. Hello brother in law

Uh..Well fuck that I’m outta here

[mattgoffardofficial]

I see... Well.. hmph.. NOW WE'RE MARRIED HAH!

*pulls out a marriage license* Congrats Matt

NOO!

[mattgoffardofficial]

yes yes of course, you know, but I'm his ardent fan. Do you think you know more?

Yes.

[mattgoffardofficial]

YOURE MARRIED!?

Yeah it was in my blog..

[mattgoffardofficial]

OLD? IDC HE'S HOT! Now be a goodboy and let me be your stepmother💖 I'll pamper and treat you well

NO! I’M 25! I CAN TREAT MYSELF BETTER!

[mattgoffardofficial]

*walks in with complete swagger,* Guess who survived and escaped the hospital this guy! now would you be so kind as to hold your brother down, i have a forever weed brownie laced with the crushing memories of everything embarrassing a person could do

(imagine is probably unrelated to this situation.)

Uh..No

that’s a you problem

[mattgoffardofficial]

Stealing Derek's bike was a success. I hope I dont die

Great sell it on Ebay

[mattgoffardofficial]

End up pregnant by your father huh, then you wouldn't mind having a stepmother?

I WOULD MIND HE’S OLD!

[mattgoffardofficial]

I miss Derek🥀 I hope he comes back to Tumblr soon.

Wait he left? That’s why people kept on asking me about Derek..

[mattgoffardofficial]

You dating anyone?

Married yes.

[mattgoffardofficial]

ok... ok i'll trade.. how about i tell you derek's secret? i know him as a diehard fan)

I know all of Derek’s secrets so there’s no point

[mattgoffardofficial]

I can't because I'm shy... For 10 dollars, will you say? 😭

I’m rich why would I need 10 dollars

[mattgoffardofficial]

Can you tell your brother that I am his biggest fan? I have his earrings, necklace and statue (just to name a few) and yes, I love him madly! (I have a lot of thoughts about him)

Tell him yourself

@dereks-kennel @derekgoffard666

[mattgoffardofficial]

Listen, does Derek sometimes snore at night?

yes.

Once I snuck into his room once because I realized he stole my phone he snored.

worst part, our walls are thin af