beach born, mountain made

elder emo who is way too into fantasy, birds, catholicism, and hating fascists

[zedtron774]

Kawanabe Kyosai, White Heron in the Rain, colour woodblock print, Japan, 1880

[kneatle]

I got the game and now I get to feed my miis cigarettes too. >:)

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[seabeck]

Dumdum may not be my smartest chicken, but she does know that humans can solve all her problems

1 minute old and don’t know how to eat or drink? Scream

Need to lay an egg but you’re crate bound while your leg heals? Try to jump on your human. When you can’t do that? Stare at them.

[seabeck]

Very important chicken

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[goth-queen]

I made a battle axe out of monster cans

[ruinedchildhood]

Pretty fun weapon to draw

[chongoblog]

The whole “protect the children” stuff makes a lot more sense when you realize that they treat their children like their possessions, so it’s less “let our children live their best lives” and more “don’t mess with my long term investment”

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[wizardarchetypes]

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

[carolinalaurel]

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

[lezbadeez]

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

[lastvalyrian]

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[nepofledgling]

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

[saint-ambrosef]

what "no sugar added" should mean: the natural sugars of the other ingredients like fruit are the only source of sweetness in this product

what is actually means: we added a fuckton of artificial sweeteners

[saint-ambrosef]

i see we are all angry about this

[only-cat-memes]

[theconcealedweapon]

[theconcealedweapon]

[theconcealedweapon]

[winonaparadise]

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

[winonaparadise]

I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.

(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)

[winonaparadise]

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!