“does your mother know you’re here”
it is my second day at my new job position at a substantially well-known bookstore
part of my job is to help coordinate events
tonight’s event: a semi-major political figure, hosted/interviewed by a man known for promoting equal rights
a man who has spent the past 17 years working to promote black excellence
literacy, community, social justice, tolerance, equality
i spend the day between corporate work and manual labor
i am so excited that my first event involves these two men
men who i know fight for justice and equality and fairness and intersectionality
fight for what i fight for
and i introduce myself to the interviewer --
star struck and inspired and impressed at myself for being articulate --
and i state my name and position --
and he takes one look at me and says
“does your mother know you’re here?”
and he smiles and laughs and grabs my now slack hand to shake
and my boss comes over and chides him
gently, teasingly, because that’s what professionalism is apparently
and i stand there wordless because
i didn’t even understand at first
“does your mother know you’re here” why?
because i support this political figure and so does she?
because my job is awesome and she’s proud of me?
and this older man in a position of power
decided the most appropriate thing to say
to a young woman who just introduced herself professionally
was to “tease” her about not fitting in
“does your mother know you're here” because someone should be taking care of you
“does your mother know you’re here” because you don’t look mature enough to be here on your own, on your own merit and skills and credibility
“does your mother know you’re here” because this is no place for little girls
“does your mother know you’re here” and i’m supposed to take that as a compliment
because professionalism is laughing it off and teasing back even though nothing i can say to a man in a position of power is going to hit the same way
because it would be unprofessional apparently to call him out on it
because we exist in a system that normalizes the humiliation of young women, the dismissal of their talents, the sexualization of inexperience and naivete, and the bottom line idea that a young woman is out of her element in a professional setting
not nebulous rhetoric or something you know happens to other people, but right in front of me shaking my hand
out of the mouth of a man
fights the same fights i do
does your mother know you’re here, sir?
does she know you think about young women this way?
better yet, let’s take mothers out of the conversation
and how about you treat me
and i know what i’m doing
and let’s fight these fights together
