I like music, food, sleep, and sexy people...

[mutuallyassuredseduction]

the calming sounds of rain (BASS BOOSTED)

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

ME AF

[zooweamama-deactivated20201024]

💪Shoplifting😫🛍 Protip 💵

Step 1: go to ur local Walmrt

Step 2: go to th sports + outdoors aisle

Step 3: locate the weights

Step 4: pick them all up one by one

Step 5: put them all back (one by one)

Step 6: leave the store

Step 7: never come back

💥CONFIGURATIONS‼️ u have SUCCessfully 💅 shop LIFTED💪💪💪 NEVER STOP THE GRIND BRO 🔥🥇

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

IM DONE

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

me: *doesnt sleep, is tired*

me: *sleeps a bit, is tired*

me: *sleeps average amount, is tired*

me: *sleeps a lot, is tired*

me: *is tired*

[thatsoneforamerica]

When Anyone Is Presenting “Alternative Facts”

[floorcorn-deactivated20171019]

chuck e cheese’s full name is charles entertainment cheese and he was born february 5, 1943 in new jersey

[floorcorn-deactivated20171019]

i know this sounds like a shitpost but you can google it. it’s on his wikipedia page.

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

I'm honored that he was born in my home state. If anyone wants to visit, I'll be taking souls in exchange for his autograph.

[yassmines]

anybody else a gay demon?

[zestyaardvarks]

I’m not gay but I will join your demon collective

[yassmines]

uhhh no you will Not

[musicwaffle77-deactivated201812]

IM AN ASEXUAL CAN I BE A DEMON. I COME WITH CAKE!!! 🍰

[yassmines]

no

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

I'm not gay or a demon, can I join? I just wanna hurt souls and make out with the same gender.

[hellooteapots-deactivated201905]

me as a journalist: HOLY SHIT Things Are Fuck

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

Me @ this presidency

[higgzorz]

the walking dad

[m86-deactivated20171116]

where’s he going

[higgzorz]

hardware store

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

What's he going to the hardware store for?

[macleod]

List of words containing “meow”: meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner

[tastetheraenbow]

This is literally destroying my life.

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

Meows meowing meow FUCK THE WORD DOESNT LOOK RIGHT ANYMORE.

[micdotcom]

[thabougieone]

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL!

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

[ilikedogs]

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

M&M

[kneelift]

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

And now on: distinctly unappealing.

[alfea]

[the-queen-of-thedas]

Fuck yeah I am

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

Space away from this horrifying world we reside in.

[onlytwitterpics]

[bandtshirt]

FUCKKKKKKK

[997]

@ me the next tyme

[djpaulyd]

That pink neutrogena is what really got me

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

"This moisturizing controlling cleansing serum for exfoliation of the inner pores."

[tastefullyoffensive]

Cactus Del Rey (via mossy_octopus)

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

Basically represents all those girls' personalities.

[nourrice]

sometimes you gotta: thank god that’s finished! and move on girl

[gaterade]

I’m the random punctuation

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

I'm the bad placement of words

[thepoisonroom]

i think one of the only real surprises about being a legal adult is that no one tells you about that particular kind of grossness you feel if you go for long enough without eating a plant of some kind

[maybeijustdontgiveaflyingcrap]

Or when you don't do your dishes in too long.