Steve and his interactions with the gang wouldve been so fucking funny from Eddieâs outsider perspective, in like an AU where the upside down ended in s3 or whatever.
Eddie knows Steve literally just by the rumor mill. Last he heard he was a Peaked In High School Loser but otherwise a pretty normal fucking guy.
So why tf is any interaction he has with him now so fucking insane?? Literally, every interaction canât just be normal. And he finds himself interacting with him way more thanks to the new hellfire freshies.
Just from what he can gather from them, he knows that:
Steve has a nail studded bat and has used it (on what?? On who??)
that he got it from Jonathan (that one guy his ex cheated on him with?? That Jonathan?? Why did Jonathan have it in the first place?)
And is dating that one lesbian thatâs in band, not that anyone knows that but when Dustin pointed her out (like âoh yeah thats Robin sheâs so cool Eddie! She and steve are definitely probably secretly datingâHey Robin! Hey!! Robâaaand sheâs ignoring meâŚâ) Eddie only needed a brief glance to clock her gay ass.
And like whatâs the story there? Why is a gay band geek dating a washed up jock? Is she that far in the closet? Fuck, does she even know sheâs gay? Whatever, thatâs not his mess to clean up.
Except theyâre definitely dating cuz one time Eddie went to family video and got jumped scared by Steve being there in the first place (jesus is this guy just everywhere now?) and the way He and this Robin girl work around in each others space and donât even need to complete sentences to communicate is some fucking weird shit.
And thereâs something there between them that makes you feel like youâre interrupting whatever they have going on by checking out a video in the first place. Like Eddie daring to be there on a Saturday evening is the biggest inconvenience to them.
But they canât actually be dating, he saw that Robin has literal boobs drawn on her chucks.
Eddie canât figure them out but heâs invested in this storyline now.
One time, he got threatened by Steve cuz he heard Mike say that he wanted a tattoo and that Eddie said knew a guy who didnât care enough to card him (which he did say that but he wasnât actually gonna take wheeler to get a fucking tattoo). He cornered Eddie in the gas station while he refilling his tank, and said âif you ever fucking dared to sneak Mike out to get a stupid ass tattoo Iâm telling Nancy so she could shoot your fucking toe off with her gunâ all while struggling to open a bag of Twislers with his meaty jock hands that obliterated any intimidation tactic he was trying to pull off.
Breezing past that Steve, his ex, and his Exâs little brother are apparently hanging around in the same circles: Her gun? With her gun? Does Nancy fucking Wheeler just have a gun lying around? The girl that wears pink cashmere cardigans?
Did Steve really just threaten to snitch to Mikes big sister on him? Does that even count as a threat?
Eddie told him âwoah, wasnât even planning on itâ only for him to menacingly point a Twisler in his face making Eddie put his hands up like he was actually being held at gun point. By a Twisler.
âYou better fucking not.â
What is that guyâs problem?
And Eddie swears he overheard Mike talking to Dustin last weekend about Hopper (Chief Hopper? The guy that DIED last summer?) thinking about flying out to California to visit El (which Eddie can only assume is the same El as âMikeâs girlfriend Elâ) once he manages to secure his ânew identityâ.
To which Dustin replies âIf Hopper gets married to Joyce and El becomes Willâs step sister, would it be weird if you and Nancy keep dating El and Jonathan? Cuz siblings dating siblings is pretty fucking weird, man.â
âShut up, Dustin. Itâs not like El is blood related to Hopperâthank godâshe was raised in lab, it doesnât count.â
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