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@maybeweareallmadhere
“Some people drink themselves sick night after night. Others get high almost as often as they take in oxygen. And some find a new lover every other month. And the sad part of that isn’t the fact that they’re destroying themselves, though it may be true. The saddest part of all of it is that each of those people are just looking for a remedy for whatever bullshit they’re forced to feel. Lets be honest, we’re all just looking for a pain-killer. And mine just so happened to be you.”
— You were the only remedy. (via manghoe-s)
“You see, at first, I did regret you. I regretted ever giving you that satisfaction of having me so easily. I used to regret ever being so vulnerable for you. I would regret the memories we had created at 2PM as well as the ones at 4AM. Now, I’m just so thankful for you. You taught me that there is nothing wrong with showing a man just how crazy you are for him, it is not my fault you were incapable of loving me back. You taught me my worth. That I should not lose an ounce of sleep, crying over something that is completely out of my hands. You taught me how to love myself enough to let you go. Because of you, I know what I deserve now and I will never settle. You did that. I am forever grateful for you.”
— You were a life lesson. Thank you R. (via oceanskiees)
It felt good to watch him slip out of my mind - out of my life, really. Someone I had once begged to stay, I now couldn’t wait to see go. That’s what happens when you release your grip on people that no matter how much you love, bring you down. It’s a decision to let go, to move on, to let yourself be happy.
I want to escape from this hell
“One day, he’s going to know. He’ll know your birthday, your middle name, where you were born, your star sign, and your parent’s names. He’ll know how old you were when you learned to play violin, how your grandparents passed away, how many pets you had, and how much you hated going to school. He’ll know your eye colour, your scars, your laugh lines, and your birthmarks. He’ll know your favourite book, movie, candy, food, pair of shoes, colour, and song. He’s going to know why you wake up in the middle of the night most nights, where you were when you realised you had lost yourself, why you picked up the razor, and how you managed to put it down before things went too far. He’s going to know your phobias, your dreams, your fears, your wishes, and your worries. He’s going to know about your first heartbreak, your dream wedding, and your problems with your mother. He’ll know your strengths, weaknesses, laziness, energy, and your mixed emotions. He’s going to know about your love for all things salted caramel, your dream of being a vet when you were five, your need to sing along to every song you know, and your fears of growing older. He’ll know your bad habits, your mannerisms, your stroppy pout, your facial expressions, and your laugh like it’s his favourite song. The way you chew, drink, walk, sleep, fidget, and kiss. He’s going to know that you’ve already picked out wedding flowers, baby names, tiles for the bathroom, bridesmaid dresses, and the colour of your bedroom walls. He’s going to know, get annoyed at and then accept that you leave clean clothes out for days, get scared ordering at a store, have to organise your DVD’s by genre, and check your horoscope… just in case. He’ll know your McDonald’s order, how you don’t like sugar in your coffee, how many scoops of ice cream you want, and that you don’t like sandwiches unless they’re toasted. He’s going to know how you feel without telling him, when you’re holding in a laugh, and that you’re crying without shedding tears. He’s going to know all of it. Everything. You, from top to bottom and inside out. From learning, from sharing, from listening, from watching. He’s going to know every single thing there is to know, and you know what else? He is still going to love you.”
— He’ll Know / Love
“He’s already planting flowers where you ripped holes in me.”
— A.M.H.
“Having to tell myself “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m gonna be okay.” wasn’t beautiful or poetic. Sitting on my bathroom floor, crying begging someone to help me even though no one could hear me wasn’t beautiful. It wasn’t something worth going through. The pain wasn’t worth it, it was fucking painful. It was fucking painful to wake up the next morning when all I wanted to do was die and that’s the fucking truth. The truth isn’t beautiful or poetic. It’s not a John Green book or a Notebook love story, it was real. The pain and the tears and the hurting was real. The aching was real and it was more than painful but painful is the only word to use because what I felt was something that didn’t have a definition. So don’t tell me that this pain will be worth it some day or that I should turn my hurt into something beautiful because you don’t have to go through something painful to learn something. I don’t have to force my pain to be beautiful because it wasn’t.”
— Deeply Feeling Series
Clear your mind here
“Some days more than others I want to flip a switch. On gravity. To fall off the face of the planet as if it were a sheet of paper. To watch it blow away in the wind of who I used to be, and to watch my pain go with it. On you. To pretend that it doesn’t sting that you chose her. To pretend like it wasn’t my fault even though deep inside it’s apparent it was no one else’s. On myself. To stop reaching for a pen and paper to get the words out so they will someday stop suffocating me from the inside of myself. On life. To stop existing, just until I’m ready to flip a switch.”
— Like a light. 11:15pm
I’m more thankful for you than you know.
Hey y’all.
If you don’t want to read a sappy post about my best friend then I suggest hitting the back button and keep scrolling through your Facebook feed.
I imagine at this point you’re either Bailey, my mom, possibly my dad, and my nanny.
So here we go.
Bailey,
This ones for you.
With everything that’s gone on in my life lately I wanted to find a good post like this and tag you in it, but I figured I could write a better and more accurate one.
First of all, I love you. You’re a beautiful soul and a beautiful person and when I say I wouldn’t want to go through life without you, I mean it. My life would suck without you.
You’ve been there every time I’ve cried over some stupid boy, because lord help me I keep picking some winners.
You’ve been there when I threw up on myself because I was laughing so hard. (Yes I just told an embarrassing story about myself).
When I have a daughter one day I pray that she has a friendship like ours, hopefully sooner in her life. One that makes her throw up she’s laughing so hard or one where they say the same thing constantly because they’re the same person. I pray that everyone has a friendship like that in their life because you have changed my whole life perspective.
I wake up everyday and can’t wait for whatever shenanigan we’re gonna get into that day because we can make something as simple as driving through a parking lot an adventure if a cute boy drives by in a nice truck.
I really couldn’t imagine life without you. One day when we’re married our husbands are going to have to sleep on the couch because we’re having a sleepover in the bedroom.
I can’t thank you enough for everything that you do. I really and truly feel like I owe you my life sometimes.
You’re gonna be my maid of honor one day. I mean I’m nowhere close to being in a relationship currently so you’ve got a while (sorry), but just know the day will come (hopefully).
So here’s to the rest of college, to 20 more years, to being old grandma friends calling each other in the morning to make sure we’re still alive.
I love you Bailey Gray. You’re my best friend and my other half and I pray for whatever boy I end up with because he’s got BIG shoes to fill. ❤️