“ i know you didn’t want to change me, but i — i needed to change. myself. and i’m sorry, you have no idea, i am so, so sorry that i took it all out on you. i know you, i know you were just trying to process this too, i know. ” it’s so much easier to say that now, now that the worst of it has past, even if the memories do still keep her up at night, if the nightmares do tear her from what little sleep she does get. “ i know. but i didn’t… we didn’t know that then. we thought… we all thought he’d lose it. because we didn’t know that help was coming. our flare didn’t work, it wouldn’t go off when someone flew overhead. ” it’s hard, talking about those days, those nights, no matter how long she’s had to deal with it, “ i cried. i cried like a bitch when they, ” she pauses, because she hates saying rescued, tries to come up with something else to use in its place, “ when they found us. i just wanted you. you and sofia. ”
her entire career had been made of fixing things; making broken things stronger than they’d ever been before, and part of that had came with arizona. callie was a healer, she healed, or at least attempted to. ❝ i should have respected your boundaries, and i should’ve respected my oath. if i would’ve just been your doctor when you needed me to be, maybe we could’ve avoided a lot of the pain, but i couldn’t, arizona. i couldn’t be your wife and your doctor, and i’m really sorry for that. ❞ maybe her wife didn’t wanna hear it, but callie had take some fault in it all. she hadn’t been on the plane, yet she’d always been there for the aftermath of it. she’d been mark’s voice, and maybe she’d overstepped, but it was healer in her just wanting it all fixed. ❝ i don’t blame hunt for what happened, but i do blame the hospital. i think that maybe them being sued was warranted, because someone knew of that company’s failures. they had to. ❞ playing the blame game was over, but the more she thought about it, the more angry she became. ❝ sofia is the only reason i didn’t completely lose it without knowing about you and mark. she held me together. ❞
