lion / heart

she died.they got her whole family. 𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖊 alexandra 𝖒𝖈𝓴𝖎𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓 twenty two

[luxurylearry]

[mcmarlenea]

@oftherebels

[alcstors-deactivated20200628]

–––– in conversation with @mcmarlene​ ; auror training room.

he didn’t play favourites. he didn’t mollycoddle. he wasn’t soft with any of the aurors, let alone the trainees. if you got hit, you walked it off. if you couldn’t walk, you still walked it off. there weren’t any excuses, because excuses didn’t protect you out there. so even though marlene mckinnon had technically kicked the bucket once already, she still had to pass the course. “ okay, that’s enough for today, ” alastor said, spelling the lights of the light and shadow room back on. it was late and there was a reason he rarely sat in on anyone’s training –– he didn’t have the patience. “ not bad, mckinnon. how’re ya feeling? ”

[mcmarlenea]

There was a part of Marlene that wanted to say fuck it all and drop out of auror training. Maybe she’d go back to the Three Broomsticks. Adinah gave her shit, but she knew she could get her old job back if she bugged her enough. Was she even cut out to be an auror? Not even done with training and she already got herself killed. Maybe that’s why she was pushing herself so damn hard in training every day. Trying to prove to herself, and anyone else that was paying attention that she could do this. The lights came on and Marley moved her hands to her hips, brows raised as she looked at Alastor. “Not bad,” she repeated with a scoff, rolling her eyes like she hadn’t been working her arse off in training for the past- godric knows how many hours. “I feel like I’m hungover but I haven’t had a drink. Come on, Moods. I know you have a bottle stashed in here somewhere. Let’s have it.”

[mcmarlenea]

fcnwick​:

benjy had perked up as soon as he heard the door open, but evidently that hadn’t been fast enough because he heard marlene call out his name as he was sprinting down the steps.  they’d left off on a weird note, and he had wanted to give her her space, but holy shit that had sucked and he never wanted to experience that again.  “welcome back,”  he mumbled, immediately reciprocating her hug with the same force.  “nothing new there — kidding, don’t hit me.”  he wasn’t going to hold it against her, not after everything they’d been through.

Usually, Marlene would have done just that - she would have hit him, playfully in the arm for making a comment like that but... he wasn’t wrong. “No, you’re right and you should say it.” She worried her bottom lip a little. “It was- a lot. And I was feeling everything and I kind of took it out on you a little and I shouldn’t have done that Benj. You’re my best friend. Like, my best best friend. Lily knows it. James knows it. Hell, I think even Sirius knows it. Basically, I suck and I’m sorry for being the worst best friend ever.” She smashed her lips to the side before adding, “I pushed you away when I needed you the most.”

[mcmarlenea]

Marlene wasn’t expecting company, so when she heard a knock on the door, her first instinct... was to shoot up off the couch and draw her wand. Which only annoyed her because she had never been paranoid like this. She wasn’t an anxious person. She was always miss cool-calm-and-collected. Not anymore. Now, she was just... tired, and on edge all the time. Dying really changed a person, and Marlene didn’t know if she liked the person she was becoming. With a sigh, she tucked her wand back into her jeans and opened the door... and her brows came together to form a crease between her eyes. “James? Hey- what time is it?” she asked rhetorically, pushing the door open more as an invitation for him to come in. The question was on the tip of her tongue - are you okay? - but it felt... insensitive, all things considered so she swallowed it down. “I’m out of tea, but I think I have some beers in the fridge and Greta sent Edgar over with a casserole and some cookies if you’re hungry.”

@potteringpctter​

[90sto2000s]

That 70’s Show (1998-2006)

[mcmarlenea]

@potteringpctter @lilyevanspctter @oftherebels

[jacquelineshyde]

Jackie ‘fight me  (ง'̀-‘́)ง ‘ Burkhart

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

if I saw a portal i would enter it no questions asked

[rpxmusings]

        ANGER   WAS   :                                      BETTER   THAN   TEARS                                     BETTER   THAN   GRIEF                                     BETTER   THAN   GUILT

[selenagomezgifs]

[mcmarlenea]

rjluqin​:

He glanced up, pleased to see even the smallest hint of a smile on her lips. No, it didn’t reach Marlene’s eyes, but it was a start. He didn’t expect the same, boisterous Marlene he’d come to care so dearly for as friend after what had just happened, but a reminder of the was enough. Remus raised a brow at her. “And what have they been saying about me?” he asked, with quiet, mock indignation. “If you ever hear I’m a swot who’s working below my means, I hope you stick up for me. But I know you would. You’re a really good friend too.” He sucked in a breath, fighting the stinging in his eyes. He didn’t need to get sentimental right now. He blinked when she spoke next, realizing the goodies he’d brought had distracted her. “Figured you might like it. Speaking from experience, St Mungo’s could stand to up their food budget.” Or maybe being a werewolf meant you just got shit. 

A small smile tugged on her lips. “You know I would fight anyone for your honor,” she replied, doing a little mock salute with two fingers. “Scout’s honor.” Even at Hogwarts, Marley had a habit of getting in fights with people who threatened her friends. Even when the prats were all talk, she preferred physical violence... and not with a wand either. She was all fists, one of the many reasons she spent so much time in McGonagall’s office. At least the professor offered her tea and biscuits. “You’re the best of us, Remus.” She knew he didn’t believe it, knew he struggled a lot how he viewed himself, but she meant it. He was a better person than any of them, and she had always admired that about him. A small chuckle escaped her lips and she shook her head. “Yeah, the food is rubbish but the Bones’ keep offering to bring me leftovers. I think Greta cooks too much.” She opened the popcorn and tossed a piece up in the air, catching it in her mouth. Then she threw one at him without warning.

[mcmarlenea]

oftherebels​:

Sirius arched an eyebrow and snorted. “Right.” Maybe he should’ve been offended, but he wasn’t entirely capable of that feeling right then. Besides, it was just so easy to lean into this mask - no, not a mask, this side of himself that was everything he hated but was so much easier than facing the world and letting it bury him. “That explains why you’re looking at me like that.” There probably would’ve been a sneer to go with his arrogant tone, except he was looking at her right back. Fuck - if he wanted a distraction, Marlene had always been one of the best ones. It was so, so tempting to let himself just let her calm him, or to let them rage together,, to - well, do anything, as long as they faced it together. But he couldn’t. Sirius couldn’t risk opening himself up even a crack, because what would happen if he did and she wasn’t there? What would he do if he took the jump and she stayed on the ledge? Rationally, he knew just how unlikely - no, how impossible - that was, but he wasn’t exactly handling this rationally. “That’s what I thought.” With a grin, he met her full force, hand dropping from her wrist to slide around her waist, underneath the hem of her shirt, hot on her back. The other hand tangled in her hair and if he dared to think about it, it felt a little bit like anchoring himself. As much as he wanted to get lost in the kiss, get lost in the passion and desperation and maybe panic too but he just - couldn’t, not entirely, but he was trying to and that was something.

Bloody hell, when did she not look at him like that? Even when she was mad at him, she still wanted him. Even when he was being an arse. This was a perfect example. The problem was that he looked at her the same. There was something behind every look. Want. Need. Love. All of the above. “Shut up,” she mumbled, but it was halfhearted. Then they were kissing, and it had the desired effect. The rest of the world disappeared until it was just Marlene and Sirius. Nothing else mattered except for whatever the hell was happening on the roof. Marlene didn’t know what was going on, she just knew that she could let herself get lost in his kiss and forget everything. Her hand was freed from his grip and she moved it to his neck, trying to deepen the kiss. She wanted to kiss him everywhere, feel him everywhere. His hand on her back and sent a shot of electricity through her entire body and she rose up on her tip toes, gasping against his mouth. She took advantage of the gasp to pull away just enough to breathe, “Yep, terrible kisser,” against his lips.

[mcmarlenea]

oftherebels​:

Was it wrong, to be so caught up in her when the rest of the world was falling to pieces? Maybe it was, but if his biggest crime of the day was taking shelter from the storm, Sirius figured he could live with himself. There wasn’t anything he could do for the moment anyway, no comfort he could provide to James or Lily, no hell he could raise in the name of making things right. No, all he could do was be there for her and try and breathe while they still could. There was something like pride and affection in his grin. “And you’re welcome for it,” he winked. “I’d do it all again.” It was teasing, cocky, but sincere even still. All the bad, he’d weather it all again in a heartbeat for her. As soon as he was settled, he nodded his head. “I know you can’t. I’m not going anywhere.” I wouldn’t anyways. Not unless I have to. Underneath the chaos, he’d known as much when he’d left her before, too, but all he’d been able to do was hope desperately that she could sleep through the worst of it. It had been just as in vain as he’d expected, but he figured they could make up for lost time. Even though he’d said it first, even though he’d said it a million times before and heard it a million times back, his heart clenched with every reminder. Marlene McKinnon loved Sirius Black. It always had had a nice ring to it. Rather than saying anything else on the matter, though, he just tugged her closer yet. “C’mere.”

Her eyes rolled, but she couldn’t wipe the grin from her lips. It felt wrong, out of place but she tried to push those thoughts away. “Yeah, me too,” she replied quietly. All the ups, all the downs, all the laughs and all the tears, she would do it all over again too. With him, and with Lily and James and Dorcas and Peter and Mary and Remus and Benjy. They weren’t the family she was born with, but they were the family she chose, and she knew it was different for him. They were the only family Sirius had. He pulled her closer and she let out a small, content sigh. In a world of uncertainty, that was the one thing Marlene was sure of anymore - that she loved Sirius Black - in a way she couldn’t and probably would never love anyone else... and he loved her just the same. They were two halves of the same heart. They were soulmates. “Speaking of sleep,” she said, going for a playful tone but it just came out tired. She was tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally... just so damn tired. “Can we?” she asked, already settling on his chest... but before she got too comfortable, she lifted her head and pressed her lips to his. Maybe they shared dreams too. They could dream of another universe where they could run away to Greece and have their happily ever after.

[mcmarlenea]

fcnwick​:

“well, you were unconscious, so i don’t know how much say you would’ve had in getting stitches anyway.”  he responded matter-of-factly.  benjy was too exhausted to pretend to be insulted at her suggestion he didn’t know her.  he knew he did.  they both knew it.  hell, it was why he put himself directly in the line of fire to make sure he was the one to tell her about her brother.  her brother, maxi, who was dead, and she still didn’t know.  if he could, benjy would’ve kept it that way.  let her hold onto the peace a little bit longer.  but she had to find out eventually, and if she didn’t hear it from him, it was going to be from somebody else.  and that’s what he was afraid of.  “marlene.”  he grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight.  time to bite the bullet, or — whatever the magical equivalent was.  benjy wished he were better with words, but if he didn’t just spit it out already, he’d probably never get to it.  “maxi’s gone.  he was killed in the attack today.”  he let out a sigh, fully unaware he’d even been holding his breath.  “i’m so sorry, marlene.”  he had to look away, feeling the tears finally breaking through.  “god.  ‘m so sorry.”

“Benj,” she echoed her name with his, but it was drawn out with hesitancy. There was something weighing heavy on his chest, and silly Marlene, she thought it was just the whole her-dying-hours-before thing. Nope. Maxi’s gone. She heard him, felt his hand squeezing hers, and still felt like they were light years away from each other. “What? No-” she started, tears already brimming her eyes. “No. You’re mistaken. You’re confused. It was- it was someone else.” Her voice broke as she started rambling, trying to convince herself that. Then she felt it, the heavy weight on her own chest. She sucked in a sharp breath as the tears began to fall. “No.” She let go of his hand and scrambled back on the bed until her back his the headboard, and she pulled her knees to her chest. “It should have been me. It should have been me,” she repeated the words like a mantra, like she could speak them into existence.

[rickybowen]

[gwenlockhart]

Closed for @mcmarlene​:

Was this weird?  Maybe.  Did she care?  Also maybe.  To be determined.  It depended on if Marlene looked at her like she was crazy or if she appreciated the gesture.  But it was fine – if she didn’t appreciate it Gwen would go home, take a long shower to wash away the embarrassment, and keep all of the lemonade for herself.

Her job was the opposite of demanding – maybe it was mentally demanding, but you didn’t need a refreshing drink after working out your brain.  She didn’t run often, and when she did it was usually because something was chasing her, but those few times she picked up speed lemonade would have hit the spot?  They did run in auror training?  Aurors probably needed to practice running, that made sense.

Oh god, what if she was allergic to lemons?  Were people actually allergic to lemons?

Okay – this had the potential to be super embarrassing or quite nice, either way it was too late to back out because here they came.  “Hi,” she walked over to Marlene before she could lose her nerve.  This was so ridiculous, it wasn’t as though Marlene hated her – or at least she didn’t think she hated her?  “I was making some lemonade and I don’t know, I just thought you might like so too so…” she passed her the covered pitcher.  “If you’re allergic to lemons you can throw it away, I won’t be mad.”

[mcmarlenea]

Not a day went by where Marlene didn’t think that she had made a grave mistake choosing to go into auror training, and joining the Order for that matter. It seemed like a good idea. Her brothers were getting involved in the impending war, and all of her friends were joining the Order and Marlene being Marlene felt an overwhelming need to protect all of the people she cared about. She would die for any of them, and well, at least she held true to that promise. Unfortunately, she couldn’t save Maximilian and she couldn’t save the other six wizards that died at the Easter Festival. She couldn’t save Harry, and she couldn’t even save the wizard that they polyjuiced to look like fucking Carrow, not that she had been let in on that plan, or any of it. She was left out of the loop, locked in a room at St. Mungo’s to ‘recover.’ Bullshit, she knew the truth. Her mother thought she would do something reckless, and she was right to think it.

Life was so much easier when she tended the bar at the Three Broomsticks, when her only worry was having to break up a pub fight but honestly that was one of the highlights of the job. Maybe she wasn’t cut out to be an auror. Her head certainly wasn’t in the game, but it could have been in Quidditch. Her dream, even since she was a little girl, was to play for the Holyhead Harpies. She should have followed that dream... but that wouldn’t have stopped her from losing a brother or a godson either. There was nothing she could do right. She couldn’t even concentrate on her training, and her job was hanging by a thread. Her only saving grace was that Bones and Moody wouldn’t let her quit if she tried... and she did. Multiple times she tried to walk out and they didn’t let her. Because they believed in her even when she didn’t believe in herself.

She was frustrated, with herself and the rest of the world, when she finished training for the day. She wanted to break things - her eyes scanned around the office looking for Longbottom, and she frowned when she didn’t find her - or she wanted to drink things. She needed a distraction. Instead she got Gwendolyn Lockhart and... lemonade? What? It was so unexpected that a laugh bubbled in her throat. It tasted bitter on her tongue. “Well hello to you too.” Gwendolyn was easily her favorite Lockhart, not that she had any competition. “I’m not allergic,” she reassured the guy, taking the pitcher and lifting it to get a better look. Sure enough, it was a pitcher of freshly squeezed lemonade. She narrowed her eyes playfully. “It’s not poisoned, is it?”

[rickybowen]

giorgia_whigham: Rock co.cane flow playing in the background

[sorryish]

[mcmarlenea]

@oftherebels